糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E06

Part 3 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

Okay look, its face is cute,
但他体内有寄生虫
but its ass has worms.
埃梅怎么回事
Emet, what is going on here?
别担心只是
Don't worry about it just--
家里有狗吗
Um, is there a dog in the house?
我懂你的意思了
Oh, I think I see what's going on here.
我真不愿说小埃
Oh, I hate to tell you this, Em,
可是我对狗过敏很严重记得吧
but I am deeply allergic to dogs, remember?
讽刺的是我上辈子偏偏是条狗
Which is ironic because I was a dog in a previous life.
天啊抱歉
Gosh, I am so sorry.
我刚答应我同事
I just promised a co-worker that I would
替他照看这只被遗弃的小可怜
foster this poor, abandoned little guy.
这样吧
But you know what?
还是送你回待宰的牢笼吧小老虎
Back to the kill shelter for you, Tiger, kay?
或者这样吧
Or, you know what?
戴维可以送你去酒店
David could take you to a hotel--
-对 -不不不
- Yeah. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
如果这满屋的灰尘我都受得了
If I can handle all the dust in this house,
这点狗毛也受得了
I can handle the dander.
麻烦把他锁起来
Just keep that guy locked away
我要么挺过去要么死翘翘
and I'll power through this or die trying.
天啊真希望她死翘翘
God, I really hope she dies trying.
够了你的计划太幼稚了
Okay, this plan is so immature.
好好我知道但你听我说
Oh, okay, okay, I know, but in my defense,
我本来以为有用的
I thought it would work.
好了我给诺曼打电♥话♥了
It's okay, I called Norman.
他会在孩子们醒之前
He's gonna come get Goldblum
就来把高布伦接走
before the kids wake up, okay?
天啊高布伦睡觉吧你个小色鬼
Oh, my God, Goldblum, go to sleep, you horny Muppet.
你知道会怎么样吗
You know--you know what's gonna happen, right?
莉娜对狗过敏
Leena's allergic to the dog.
她的喉咙会堵住就会没命
Her throat's gonna close up. She's gonna die,
然后谁来处理尸体呢
And who's gonna take care of the body?
你吗不是我
You? No. Me.
因为这是男人该做的事
'Cause it's a man's job.
求求你饶了我别叫了
Please. Come on. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
我们还能给它提取粪便样本
And we have our fecal sample.
-行了行了 -交给你了
- Okay. Okay. - That's on you.
-你来处理吧 -我才不要
- You take care of that. - No.
友情手链就是这么做的啦
That's how you make a friendship bracelet.
现在你可以去交朋友啦
Now go make a friend.
为了你我整个礼拜都没练舞了
I haven't practiced dance all week because of you.
你猜怎么着我可以帮你练舞
Hey, you know what? I can help you practice dance.
我需要学习电动马达臀
I need some help shaking my badonkadonk though.
我又帮不了你去看席亚拉的MV不就好了
That's not my job. Go watch a Ciara video.
莉儿你就帮他学电动马达臀呗
Lil, just help your brother shake his badonkadonk.
我和你♥爸♥昨晚睡得不能再糟糕了
Your dad and I had the worst night ever.
这么好的觉可不是盖的
Mmm, best sleep ever.
我这一觉香得根本不知道醒为何物
I slept so hard I forgot I was woke.
不过我昨晚做了一个超厉害的梦
Anyway, I had the craziest dream last night.
那啥我要上班了
Oh, you know what? I have to go to work.
不然我会洗耳恭听的
Otherwise I'd hear it.
职场女强人啊
Oh, fancy office girl.
我一直觉得你的工作酷爆了
You know, I always thought your job was so cool.
我在想我能不能干好呢
I wonder if I'd be good at it.
当然你会做得很好的孩子
Of course, you'd be good at it, beta.
也就是画画卡♥通♥
It's just doodling cartoons.
打打乒乓玩玩游戏看看小♥电♥影♥什么的
Ping-pong, Pokémon, Donkey Schlong, whatever.
埃梅你今天带她去打脸游戏吧
Emet, you should take her to GameSlap today.
帮她规划一下职业生涯
and help her with her career goals.
是这样我很乐意
Oh, yeah, you know what? I would love to.
只是我不能带别人去把工作搞得乱七八糟
I just, uh, can't be bringing people to work willy-nilly.
哦不莉莉要来粘着我了
Oh no, I think Lily's onto me.
行吧好吧好吧
Uh, yes, fine, fine.
莉娜你可以跟我去待几个小时
Leena, you can come with me for a few hours.
太棒啦
Ah, great!
我要列一下等会路上放什么音乐
I'll make a playlist for the ride.
我的鼓友们出新EP了
My drum circle just came out with an EP.
大家听好
Okay. Hey guys, listen.
这不是不愿意养狗狗的那位吗
Oh, well if it isn't the doggie un-adopter.
好在我给狗狗找到新家了
Luckily, I found him a new home.
但我现在连心碎都是爱高布伦的形状
But now there's a Goldblum- shaped hole in my heart
永远没法你好吗
that I will never-- hey, what's up?
我是诺曼水瓶座人道主义者望你喜欢
Norman, humanitarian and Aquarius if you're into that.
你好啊诺曼叫我莉欧吧
Hey Norman. Leo.
开门见山地说
And in case you were wondering,
-我可不怕黑 -我的天啊
- I'm not afraid of the dark. - Oh, my God.
我是说我挺喜欢黑人的
That means I'm into black guys.
各位这是我表妹莉娜
Uh, guys, this is my cousin, Leena.
别在意我人家就是来旁观的
Don't mind me, just gonna be a fly on the wall.
好得很那楚易
Great. Okay so, Chewey,
你给下载内容做背景板了没
did you do the background for the downloadable content?
不好意思啊旁观的美女想问个问题
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Question from the wall.
你工资多少啊埃梅
How much money do you make, Emet?
莉娜这是我隐私
Leena, that's personal.
什么嘛我可不明白钱有什么隐私的
What? I've never understood why money is so personal.
我呢就觉得隐私应该是
To me, personal is more like
不能说的尴尬小秘密
embarrassing stuff you wouldn't tell anyone.
比如那次你和你表哥亲亲了
You know, like that one time you made out with our cousin
因为你觉得他像迈克尔·杰克逊
because you thought he looked like Michael Jackson.
什么
What?
你还记得吗
Do you remember that?
差不多行了回到工作上来
Okay, great. Let's get back to work.
我问个小问题你们亲亲的时候
Quick question though: Was the song playing
放没放背景音乐是不是这么唱的
when you were making out, was it,
比利·金不是我的表哥
"Billy Jean Is Not My Cousin?"
还是安妮你介不介意
Or was it, "Annie Are You Okay...
我和我表哥亲亲
With Me Making Out With My Cousin?"
你是黑是白是我表哥我都无所谓
"It Doesn't Matter If You're Black Or My Cousin."
听好了莉娜我们
Listen, hey, Leena, let's-
叫辆车送你回去吧
let's get you a cab out of here.
但我玩得那么开心真扫兴
Oh. But I'm having so much fun. Boo.
她才来这呢
She just got here.
好啦在Ins上加我吧
All right. Well, add me on the 'Gram.
拜拜
Bye.
行了快走吧
Kay, move faster.
你再不走就该学绿巨人开砸了
Before you make Hulk smash.
高温会促进耳内的杂质
The heat will draw out impurities
和其他脏东西的排泄
and other crap from your ear.
感谢你给我机会
Thank you for allowing me
悉心护理你的身体健康
to be part of your wellness journey.
我要是让你失败你也不会乐意吧
I mean, not like you would take no for an answer...
失败乃成功之母嘛
Well a no is just a yes waiting to be born.
我在甩卖♥♥次贷的时候悟出了这个道理
I learned that when I sold subprime mortgages.
-感谢您 -感谢您
- Namaste. - Namaste, okay.
哎呀出了一点点血哦
Oh. There is a little bit of blood coming out.
-啥玩意 -我去拿酒精棉签
- What? - I'll get alcohol swabs.
我觉得我心可够大的这样正不正常
I think I'm light-headed. Is that normal-
怎么了
What?
工作糟心家里也糟心
Work is awful. Home is awful.
求你告诉我你还留着医生给你
Please tell me that you saved the pills the doctor gave you
治扭腰的镇定药好吗
when your back went out,
因为我想一觉睡到她滚蛋为止
because I would like to sleep until she is gone.
-埃梅 -我的个老天
- Emet. - Oh, God!
-逮到你了 -她来了
- Yay! - There she is.
你回家啦
You're home.
我一直等着告诉你
I have been waiting to tell you,
「游戏之拳」那里还有个
there was an open admin assistant position
行政助理的职位空着猜猜谁申请了
at GamePunch, and guess who applied?
-别啊 -是我哦
- No. - Me!
我们要成为职场姐妹了