糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E08

Part 3 May 11, 2021, 9:16 a.m.

我有好多呢威士忌老爸
Okay, I have so many. Whisky Papa.
太好了我有了个外号♥
Yes, I got a nickname!
我的天酒太烈了
God, that's strong.
宝贝我有了个外号♥
And babe, I even got a nickname.
我叫威士忌老妈
I'm Whisky Mama.
是的我闻到了
Oh, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm tasting that.
-是的 -等等你什么时候喝的
- Yeah. - Wait, what time were drinks?
莉莉说你参加了她的排练
Lily said you made it to her rehearsal.
我能说什么我是超女
What can I say? I'm Superwoman.
-亲我 -什么
- Kiss me. - Hmm?
等等我刚吃了大蒜薯条
Oh, wait, we also had garlic fries.
我还没到这种程度但你得先告诉我
I'm not above that, but first you have to tell me
你如何同时在两个地方
how you were in two places at once.
等等你说你雇了一个印度女人
Wait, wait. You're telling me you hired an Indian woman
当你的分身
to swap places with yourself?
好吧你喜欢特技替身
Oh, okay, you know? You love stunt doubles so much
但我这么做的时候我是怪物
but when I do it, I'm a monster.
我不喜欢替身
Okay, I don't love stunt doubles.
我只是觉得他们应该获得认可
I just think they should be recognized.
这怎么不是奥斯卡金像奖的一个奖项呢
Like, how is that not a category in the Academy Awards?
你为什么不找我来帮你
How come you didn't come to me for help?
你长得不像印度人
Um, you don't look Indian.
戴维因为我想让莉莉看到我去了
David, I didn't ask you because I wanted Lily to see me there.
好吗
Okay?
爸爸不去的话不会被唠唠叨叨
When dads don't show up, they don't get dinged.
爸爸去的话还会得到加分
And when they do and they just show up, they get bonus points.
妈妈不去的话就是坏妈妈
When moms don't show up, we're bad moms.
-我理解双标很难受 -确实
- I understand that the double standard is messed up. - It is.
如果莉莉发现了你雇了一个女人去...
If Lily finds out that you hired a lady to--yeah,
我不会说完这句话埃梅
I'm not even gonna finish the sentence, Emet.
我觉得你应该去找莉莉
Just, I think you should go to Lily,
告诉她你太忙了她会理解的
tell her you got overextended, she will understand.
好吧好吧好吧
All right, all right, all right.
-你还会亲亲我吗 -来
- Can I get that kiss? - Yeah.
-不还是算了吧 -确实挺难闻的
- Ooh, no. I'm above that. - Yeah, it's bad.
小甜心我得跟你聊聊
Hey, peanut, I need to talk to you, okay?
我... 为了什么抱我呢
I, um--ooh, oh! What is this for?
谢谢你今天能来
Thanks for being there today.
能看到你在真是太好了
It was so cool to look out and see you.
我觉得看到你让我跳得更好了
I think you made me dance better.
我都等不及让你看下一场演出了
I can't wait for you to see the next one.
我们增加了三次旋转
We added triple pirouettes.
我不说她很高兴
Oh. Yeah, no. She's so happy.
我说不出口
I can't do this.
三次旋转你知道我是什么吗
Triple pirouettes! Well, you know what I am?
当你这周每天都看到我在时的三倍兴奋
Triple excited to see them when I'm there every day this week.
我要下地狱了
Okay, I'm going to hell.
在接下来的几天我让鲁比来帮助我
Over the next few days, I used Rupi to help me
树立好妈妈形象
be the best dance mom I could be.
除非你要死了否则别进来
我专心准备我的推介会
And I focused on getting my big pitch ready.
还有许多工作要做
There was still so much to do.
但这一次我觉得我在做的事
But for once, I felt like I was doing it all
没有让任何人失望
and not disappointing everyone.
包括我自己
Including myself.
此外我没有错过什么事
Besides, I wasn't missing everything.
我想去看她跳舞所以我能去就去
I wanted to be there, so when I could be, I was.
不好意思
Oh, excuse me.
把帽子给我帽子给我
Give me the hat. Get the hat. Yup.
很好很好
Good, good, good.
太谢谢你了你可以走了
Oh, thanks so much. You can go now.
-我的老天 -你好啊
- Oh, God. - Hello!
这个主意真蠢
This was a stupid plan, man.
-我知道 -你是怎么了
- I know. - What's wrong with you, man?
你为了钱什么都干吗给你
You do anything for money? Here.
拿着这十块钱买♥♥点道德去吧
Here's $10. Get some morals.
我自己的妈妈也会让我感觉自己像废物
Okay, I have my own Indian mom to make me feel like crap.
你靠你自己吧埃梅
You're on your own, Emet.
就这样我失去了我的分身
And with that, I lost my doppelganger
以及能完成一切事情的方法
and my way to do it all.
孩子你什么时候才能学会
Beta, when are you going to learn?
鱼和熊掌不能兼得
It's impossible to have it all.
你得做个艰难的决定
You have to make a hard choice,
就像电影里拍的那样索菲亚的决定
like Muriel Street in that movie, "Sophie's Decision."
妈其实是... 算了当我没说
Mom, it's-- you know what? Never mind.
我热爱我的工作我爱我的孩子们
Look, I love my job and I love my kids
我自己一个人能行
and I can be there for both all by myself, okay?
女人能做得到就像凯莉·里帕
Women do it. Like... Kelly Ripa.
这真是个好例子重点是
That's a great example. Anyway, the point is,
这是最后的冲刺了妈我能行
this is the home stretch, Ma. I got this.
妈妈你能开始制♥作♥我的演出服了吗
Mom, can you start on my costume now?
当然可以来吧
Yes. Hell yes, I can. Let's do it.
太好了我是凤♥凰♥ 我需要两只翅膀
Great! Since I'm the phoenix, I'm gonna need two wings
每根翅膀75根羽毛每根翅膀要喷上
75 feathers per wing, and each one has to be spray-painted
红金渐变色一会儿见
ombre red to-gold. See you later.
一会儿见
See ya.
现在怎么办凯莉·里帕
Now what, Kelly Ripa?
好吧你是对的我得做出选择
Fine, you're right. I got to make a choice.
我选择不睡觉了
and I choose not to sleep anymore.
我们的目标是红牛和羽毛
To Target we go for Red Bull and feathers.
我能行
I got this.
在我的朋友泡面和红牛的帮助下
With the help of my friends, Cup O'Noodles and Red Bull,
我要完成我的推介会和莉莉的演出服
I was gonna finish my pitch and finish Lily's costume.
我能做到的很好
I can do this. All right.
给莉莉喷五秒漆
Five seconds of painting for Lily
做五秒的工作
and five seconds of painting for work.
实话实说妈妈
I got to be honest, Mom.
你的工作看起来很无聊
Your job looks like it's super not-fun.
莉莉听我说很有趣的
Lily, listen to me. It is fun.
虽然很难但是你要真的在意它的话
It's also hard but when you care about something,
你会用尽全力完成它的好吗
you do whatever it takes to achieve it, okay?
因为我喝了好多的红牛
And because I've had an unsafe amount of Red Bull
我失去了过滤想法的能力
and I lost the ability to filter my thoughts,
我要向你分享
I will also share this:
作为一个女人你可能要拼命工作
as a woman, you might have to work extra hard.
-妈妈 -怎么了
- Mom. - What?
你的头发里有面条
You have noodles in your hair.
我知道了知道了
Yeah, no, I know, I know, I know.
-回去睡觉吧 -你还好吗
- Okay, just go to bed. - You okay?
-很好 -我把他们哄上♥床♥了
- Yes. - Um, I put the baby to bed.
天呐谢谢你谢谢你
Ooh, oh, God! Thank you! Thank you.
你喝了多少红牛
Wow. How many of those have you had?
九罐
Nine.
-十罐了 -好吧
- Ten. - Okay, well,
-有需要就叫我 -好的
- I'm here if you need me. - Yes.
比方说你猝死的时候送你去医院
Like, to take you to the hospital when your heart stops.
谢谢你你是史上最好的丈夫
Thank you, you are the best husband ever!
我在大喊大叫吗
Am I yelling?
没有我绝对没有大喊大叫
No, I'm definitely not yelling.
BGM: Boom Boom by Iggy Azalea
♪ Okay, supercalifragilistic ♪
♪ Ambionic, go ballistic ♪
♪ Coldest summer Chain and wrist lit ♪
♪ Automatic Sonic facelift, uh ♪
♪ One time gotta hit 'em with the, uh ♪
路易
Louie.
-你在做什么 -我每天都会做的
- What are you doing up? - What I do every night.
午夜烤奶酪配上油管视频
Midnight grilled cheese and some YouTube deep dives.
我出现幻觉了吗
Am I hallucinating?
没错
Yes.
我的天啊
Oh, God.
九罐太多了九罐太多了
Nine is too many. Nine is too many.
九罐太多了
Nine is too many. Nine is--
-弄完了弄完了 -你看起来很糟糕