糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E01

Part 4 May 11, 2021, 9:14 a.m.

现在来毁掉
And now to ruin it:
莉莉的学校发来了邮件
we got an email from Lily's school...
-妈 -什么事
- Mom. - What?
有人打来电♥话♥抱怨
Somebody called and complained and said
说我们的舞蹈队性别歧视
that our dance team is sexist.
真是个屌♥丝
Ugh, what a loser.
-太遗憾了 -所以男生也可以加入了
- I am so sorry... - So they're adding boys!
我能和男生一起跳舞啦
I get to dance with boys.
春丽的家长太赞了
Chun Li's parents are awesome!
* I met a girl *
* She said, "Hey, hey, hey" *
为什么会变成这样
I don't understand how this happened.
* Let's spend time *
* And mix your milk *
你上次看「盗梦空间」是什么时候
When's the last time you saw "Inception"?
* Milky, milky cocoa *
什么
What?
我上过一些关于登山者的论♥坛♥
I've been on these message boards about, you know,
和那些登过珠穆朗玛峰的人聊天
like, climbers and stuff, talking to guys who were up on Everest.
目前他们算是仅有能理解我的人了
They're kind of the only ones who can relate to me at this point.
从珠穆朗玛峰摔下去过的人
People that have fallen off of Everest?
因为登山者的文化
Well, it's just, like, the culture of climbers
我真的很
and, like, I'm just really in the--
我现在很喜欢这个群体
I'm into that community now.
抱歉我们把你扔在上面不管好吗
Hey, I'm sorry we left you up there, okay?
酒水我们请好了
I guess drinks are on us.
而且我行动不便
And I can't move around too well,
所以你们中得有一个人喂我吃鸡翅
so one of you has to feed me chicken wings
另一个协助我上厕所
and one of you has to help me pee.
鸡翅我抢了
I call chicken wings.
厕所我来吧
I'll do pee.
我看不下去
Oh, I can't watch.
真是弄巧成拙得让他们瞧瞧这个
Talk about backfiring. The guys have to see this.
* And move my hump *
不
Oh, no.
他们让男生加入了莉莉的舞蹈队
Oh, they've let a boy join Lily's dance team.
埃梅刚发了视频
Emet's just sent a video.
好吧戴维对不起
Oh--okay, okay. David, I'm sorry,
我只是想在不打击她的前提下
I just--I was trying to protect her from having to do...
保护她远离这种舞蹈
that without being the one to crush her spirit.
知道吗埃梅你失败了
Well, you know what, Emet, it didn't work.
现在我们女儿的「摇摆」
And now our daughter's milkshakes
把所有男生都吸引到后院了
literally brought all the boys to the yard.
-老天他好强壮 -天啊
- God, he's strong. - Oh, my God.
我不喜欢他看着她的眼神
Oh, I do not like the way he's looking at her.
这居然是学校的舞蹈队
This happens in schools?
我打赌莉莉会冲他放屁吓坏他
I bet Lily will fart in front of him, freak out,
然后事情就解决了
and this will solve itself.
你应该喂她吃你做的咖喱鹰嘴豆
You should have fed her your curried chick peas.
到时她肯定会把他「炸」出去
She would have blasted him away.
当家长真是太费精神了
Parenting is so emotionally draining.
担心莉莉把我累坏了
I'm exhausted from worrying about Lily.
我们能不能暂停五分钟不讨论孩子
Can we just go five minutes without talking about the kid?
再说了那里坐着一个性感美女
Besides, there's a hot girl right over there.
你怎么知道只能看到背影
How can you tell? She's turned away.
我把无人机开过去可以看到她的脸
I sent the drone over there to check out the face.
霍金干得漂亮
Oof, Hawking did good.
这才叫新鲜面孔
Now that's a fresh face.
好了好了
Okay, okay, okay.
我本来想多忍♥一会不当反派
I was hoping to avoid being the bad guy for a little longer,
但很显然我们现在必须叫停他们
but obviously we have to end this right now.
我知道你担心
I know you're concerned about
莉莉会有怎样的反应
what Lily's reaction is gonna be,
但如果你又酷又冷静
but if you're cool and you're chill...
就不会变成跟玛雅一样的母亲
it'll be nothing like the way Maya was with you.
-我同意你说的 -是吧
- You know what? I agree. - Right?
是的
Yes.
天呐他是不是把脸扑向她的胸
Oh, my God, is he motorboating her?
-冷静 -停停停我很冷静
- Cool and chill! - Hi--no, no, no. I'm so chill.
莉莉我们能不能简单聊聊
Hey, Lil, can we just, like, talk for one quick sec?
妈妈我们在练舞呢
Mom, we're practicing.
我知道我看到了
Yeah, no, I know. I saw that.
你们跳得很整齐
That was really neat.
是这样的
Here's a thing:
我非常支持你展现自我非常支持
I am totally cool with self-expression-- really am--
我只是觉得我们应该聊聊
I just feel like maybe we should have a little conversation
别人对这会有什么看法
about what this looks like to other people.
我就知道她妈妈会紧张
I knew the mom was gonna be uptight.
这只是舞蹈
It's just dancing.
你想当「魔力麦克」那个
Hey there, little "Magic Mike" Wannabe.
-不要 -好了
-Nope. - Okay.
不你知道吗这不只是舞蹈
No, you know what? That is not just dancing.
这实际上是
That was actually the
继Sia让小女孩和希亚· 拉博夫
most disturbing display of child gyrating I've seen
在笼子里跳舞后最让我恼火的儿童舞蹈
since Sia made that little girl dance in a cage with Shia LaBeouf.
还有这些服装
And by the way, these costumes--
就是这种服装让陪审团对受害者
These are exactly the kind of clothing that makes juries
没有一点同情
extremely unsympathetic to victims.
你说的对我非常紧张
Oh, so, yes, I'm all up in the tightness,
因为我就看着我的宝贝女儿
'cause I just watched my little baby show me
表演色情的舞蹈
how reproduction works.
抱歉我不明白儿童舞蹈什么时候变得
I'm sorry, when did kids' dancing become all,
你懂的「快看我的腿大张着」
you know, "Oh, here! Here are my legs! Wide open!"
我不想说跳得很性感
And I don't wanna say drop it like it's hot
因为你们太年轻一点都不性感
'cause you're too young to be hot.
我也不想看到那些电臀扭动
And I don't wanna see the twerking and the working
抖动和旋转的动作
and the jiggling and the gyrating--
我童年的经历在我眼前闪过
My entire childhood flashed before my very eyes.
亲爱的
Sweetie?
我的天
Oh, my God.
我刚刚把鞋子踢向一个孩子
I just flung my shoe at a child.
我真的跟我妈一样了
I really am my mother.
你好我想你已经认识霍金
Hello, there. I see you've met Hawking,
我的无人机了
my drone.
你们是那种有钱的网络新贵书呆
Are you guys nerds with money
还是单纯的书呆子
like the Facebook guy or just nerds?
我有对我这年龄来说相当好的信贷额度
I have a decent credit limit for my age.
-老天 -不好意思
- Oh, dear. - Excuse me.
埃梅不让莉莉参加舞蹈队
Emet told Lily she can't do dance team.
-不太顺利 -莉莉会很生气的
-It did not go down well. - Lily's gonna be so pissed.
埃梅还能怎么做
Well, what choice did Emet have?
这些女孩在这个过分性成熟的世界长大
The girls are growing up in such an oversexualized world
看看我们的电子游戏就知道了
I mean, just look at our video games.
-是啊 -别看我又不是我的问题
- Yeah. - Don't look at me like I'm part of the problem.
我很关心女人
I care about women.
我准备给这位美丽的女士买♥♥杯酒
I'm about to buy this nice lady a drink.
我和霍金能给你买♥♥杯什么
What can Hawking and I get you, there,
美人
beautiful person?
我想要杯蔓越莓味伏特加
I guess I'll have a vodka cranberry.
不好
Oh, no.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
你是个坏人格瑞夫
You're a bad person, Griff.
* Hey, sexy mama, show me *
我在跟他们两个讲话
I was talking to both of them.
* Hey, sexy mama, show me *
* Hey, sexy mama, show me *
起码塔克没什么事
You know, at least Tucker's all right.
鞋子直直地弹在他的腹肌上
The shoe bounced right off his six-pack.
他真强壮
God, he's strong.
真不敢相信你让我在他面前出丑
Can't believe you embarrassed me in front of him.
我白忍♥了这么久屁
I held in my farts for nothing.
真糟糕
That's bad.
你在给谁发消息
Who are you texting?
不行