糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E13

Part 1 May 11, 2021, 9:16 a.m.

糟心生活
第一季第十三集
时间永远不够用
在我们家有个历史悠久的传统
In our family, we have a long tradition
就是计划美好假期
of planning wonderful vacations,
然后在订金无法退还的那天取消行程
cancelling them the day our deposit becomes non-refundable,
害孩子们失望透顶
and leaving the kids bitterly disappointed.
这是青春期吗
Is this puberty?
我要把行李卸了
I'll be unpacking.
孩子们
Hey, you guys?
医生说妈妈必须卧床休息
So the doctor says Mom has to be on bed-rest,
所以我们去不了奥兰多了
so we're not gonna be able to go to Orlando.
不是吧我们再也见不到分院帽了
No, now we'll never meet the Sorting Hat.
我要把魁地奇装备卸了
I'll be unpacking my Quidditch equipment.
但是这一切都将改变
But all that's about to change.
终于要实现了我要带我的家人
It's happening! I'm taking the family
开启一段丰富多彩充满乐趣的旅程
on an all-inclusive fun-filled getaway to--
你哪儿都去不了
Uh-uh, you're not going anywhere.
-什么 -看一下你的邮件
- What? - Yeah, read your email.
你的游戏「朝子武士艺伎」
Your "Asako: Warrior Geisha" Game is getting fast-tracked
要提前在动漫展上发布了
for release at Comic-Con.
没错
That's right!
特里斯特拉姆告诉她赢得了什么
Tristram, tell her what she's won!
八个月不间断的工作
Eight months of uninterrupted work!
没错你将看到令人窒息的画面
That's right! You'll see such breathtaking scenes
比如会议室和两条相同的牛仔裤换着穿的我
as the conference room and me alternating the same two pairs of jeans
希望你不会察觉
hoping you don't notice!
你们说我为什么要在工作上这么优秀
Ugh, you guys, why do I have to be so damn good at my job?
达蒙说在工作完成之前
Damon says until the work is finished,
暂停一切休假除非有人死了
all vacations are suspended unless someone's dead.
会有人死的
Yeah, well, someone will be,
因为我的孩子们会把我杀了的
'cause my kids are gonna kill me.
他们不会杀你的
They're not gonna kill you.
他们只会永远记恨你
No, they'll just resent you forever
而那种痛苦会杀了你
and the pain of that will kill you.
看看我的宝贝们
Look at my babies,
浑然不知我要扼杀他们的假期了
so unaware that I'm about to drop a guillotine on their vacation.
孩子们听我说
Hey, guys, listen.
有些突发状况
Um, something happened.
很抱歉我们暂时没办法度假了
Look, I am so sorry-- we can't go on that vacation right now.
不
No!
你们又要生小孩了吗
You guys are having another baby?
-拜托控制一下自己好吗 -不是路易
- Come on, control yourselves! - No, Louie...
莉莉亲爱的真的对不起
Lily, honey, I am so sorry.
-表紧 -什么
- "NP." - Excuse me?
你刚刚用两个字回答了吗
Did you just answer in two letters?
是的不要紧
Yeah. "No problem."
反正我正好想去嘉玛的卡拉OK派对
I kind of wanted to go to Gemma's karaoke party anyway,
所以一点都表紧
so "NBD."
你看到了吗她一点都不失望
Did you see that? She wasn't even disappointed.
嗯她听上去像是松了口气
Oh, no, she sounded a little relieved.
天呐我以为距离她不愿意搭理我们
Come on, I thought we had a lot more time with her
还有很长一段时间
before she wanted nothing to do with us.
可能没有了
You know what, maybe not.
有一天我看到她试着甩头发
The other day I saw her attempt a hair flip.
当她掌握这项技能就没我们的事了
I mean, when she masters that we are done.
为什么总有不好的事发生在我们身上
Why does everything bad happen to us?
丽塔阿姨过世了
Auntie Rita is dead.
让你妈妈的痛苦占上风吧
Well, leave it to your mom to one-up our misery.
可怜的丽塔阿姨
Poor Rita Auntie.
这么早就走了为什么
Gone too soon. Why?
可能因为她已经98岁了
Uh, maybe because she was 98 and dipped tobacco
而且像个替补投手一样抽烟
like a relief pitcher.
丽塔阿姨很刻薄
You know, Rita Auntie was pretty mean.
她还诅咒我们的婚礼
She cursed our wedding.
妈妈我很遗憾
Look, Mom, I'm sorry.
我想应该会有追悼会的
I'm sure there will be a memorial service.
你们要去多久
How long will you be gone?
因为我们还要照顾孩子
Because we do have child-care issues.
你也来吧
You're coming, too.
咱们整个大家族都会在那儿
Our entire extended family will be there--
包括我那个爱评判的姐姐
including my judgmental sister.
如果拉吉夫叔叔从孟买♥♥赶过来
If Uncle Rajiv can come from Mumbai,
你们可以开车去
you can take the short drive
圣塔巴巴拉的拉斯布里萨斯度假村看看
to the Las Brisas Resort in Santa Barbara.
好了妈妈我的老板很坚决
Okay, look, Mom, my boss was very firm--
等等你是说圣塔巴巴拉吗
wait, did you say "Santa Barbara?"
等一下
Hold up.
斯特拉又要开始伤心了
Stella's about to get her grieve back.
天呐这一切发生得太快了
Oh, God, it just all happened so fast.
真的很遗憾
I'm so sorry.
我知道这很恶劣但是人生苦短
I know this is terrible, but life is short,
我有个阿姨也是突然过世
You know, I had an aunt die suddenly once.
因为纹「不留遗憾」的纹身而感染了葡萄球菌
Staph infection from a "No Regrets" Tattoo.
纹身是错的
Boy was that tattoo wrong,
因为她肯定有一个遗憾
because she certainly had one regret.
太令人难过了
That's sad.
不管怎么说我知道这个时间点太可怕了
Anyway, listen, I know this is just such horrible timing,
「朝子」项目对我来说很重要
and this "Asako" Project means so much to me--
埃梅别说了
Oh, Emet, say no more.
去参加追悼会和你的家人在一起
Go to the memorial. Be with your family.
说不定你的丽塔阿姨
Heck, maybe your Aunt Rita
还能在天上碰到我的蒂芙阿姨
will find my Aunt Tiff up there, huh?
我敢肯定她还躺在死去的谷堆上
I bet she's still in the crop-top she died in.
重新打包行李傻瓜家庭度假又回来啦
Repack your bags, playa, 'cause the family vacay is back on!
在丽塔阿姨的追悼会上
At Rita Auntie's memorial.
我们对你阿姨的过世感到很遗憾
We're so sorry about your aunt.
如果有什么需要帮忙的尽管开口
You know, let us know if there's anything we can do to help.
谢谢确实有个小忙
Oh, thank you. Actually, there is.
你们能帮忙照看我家房♥子吗
Um, could you just house-sit?
由于太过悲痛
I forgot to arrange anything
我什么都没收拾
because I've been so bereft.
宝贝这件潜水服是不是
Sweetie, does this wetsuit leave
太没有令人遐想的空间了
too little to the imagination?
我感觉很紧
I'm feeling really squished--
潜水服
A wetsuit?
我的天啊你是不是利用这位女士的死
Oh, my God, are you using this lady's death
去家庭度假
as a family vacation?
再见傻瓜们
So long, suckas.
宝贝我们这么做合适吗
Sweetie, is what we're doing okay?
感觉有点不太好
'Cause it does feel a little bit wrong.
亲爱的是非常不好但是孩子们太兴奋了
Honey, it's a lot wrong, but the kids are so excited--
连莉莉都是我们就好好享受吧
even Lily--so let's just enjoy this.
我想尽可能多地享受青春期之前的母女时光
I mean, I want to get in as much preteen Mommy-daughter time
不然就为时过晚了
as I can before it's too late.
好吧但是我们要冒着被他们发现
Okay, but can we risk them
这是场追悼会的风险吗
finding out this is a memorial?
路易太害怕死亡了以至于我们得骗他
Louie's so afraid of death we have to tell him
墓地是石头场
that cemeteries are rock farms.
我知道这就是我们不告诉他们的理由
Yeah, I know, but that's why we're not telling them.
拜托我们可以不被他们发现的
Oh, come on, we can hide this.
他们是小孩子他们很蠢的
They're kids, they're stupid.
另外我有没有提到丽塔阿姨的家人
Also, did I mention that Rita Auntie's family
会付酒店房♥间的费用
is paying for the hotel rooms?
有意思所以你是说
Interesting. So what you're saying
不去会显得我们很无礼
is it would be rude to not go.
我就是这个意思
That is exactly what I'm saying.
要说丽塔阿姨最讨厌的事
And you know, if there's one thing Rita Auntie hated
那就是无礼
it was rudeness.
还有跨种族的婚姻
And interracial marriage.
所以去她的就这么干
So, screw her. Let's do it.