糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E04

Part 4 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

I had to do it.
就算你说得对
We'll go with that.
妈我觉得我从来都没听你说过
Mom, I don't think I've ever even
「阴♥茎♥」这个词
heard you say the word "penis".
因为...
Because...
「阴♥茎♥」这个词不应该从女性嘴里说出来
"Penis" doesn't belong in a woman's mouth.
好的吧
Okie dokie.
♪有些规则你要知晓♪
♪ Here's some rules to know ♪
有些规则要知晓
♪爱情这事急了不好♪
♪ You gotta take it slow ♪
♪要记得她含苞的乳♥房♥♥♪
♪ And remember that her breast buds ♪
有些规则要知晓
急了不好
含苞的乳♥房♥♥
♪不是你最好的玩伴♪
♪ Aren't your new best buds ♪
含苞的乳♥房♥♥
♪除非她同意与你为伴♪
♪ Till she says yes, bud ♪
-尾音有点拖 -好吧
- Little pitchy. - Okay.
♪不行就是不行♪
♪ And no means no ♪
你们在干...
Hey, what are you guy...
不行就是不行
♪没有什么不能尝试♪
♪ Nothing is too weird to be tried ♪
没有什么好吗
Nothing, okay?
没什么奇怪的
♪其实最爽还得自己来♪
♪ In fact I am my favorite ride ♪
♪性是一种美好的冲动♪
♪ Sex is a beautiful buffet ♪
♪你喜欢谁都很正常♪
♪ And anyone you love is okay ♪
美好的冲动
大家一起唱
Sing it with me, everybody.
你喜欢谁都很正常
♪你喜欢谁♪
♪ And anyone you love ♪
♪都很正常♪
♪ Is okay ♪
爱就是爱宝贝
Love is love, babe.
懂了吗
Okay?
好样的
Good job.
曲风突变了啊
Take it a little darker now.
♪衣原体啊衣原体♪
♪ Chlamydia, chlamydia ♪
♪小小生物奇又奇♪
♪ Ooh, it's a pity-ya ♪
♪什么是个衣原体♪
♪ What is this chlamydia? ♪
♪你染上了衣原体♪
♪ Ooh, you got chlamydia ♪
戴维我不得不说
David, I gotta say.
-当家长没那么难 -是吗
- Parenting isn't that hard. - Right?
是啊书里讲的迷惑了我
Yeah! The books make you think it is,
其实不是我们都可以出本书
but it isn't. We could write a book.
我不知道你是不是跟我开玩笑呢
You know, I don't know if you're kidding right now,
但是你还挺有才华的
but that's actually brilliant.
不我是认真的
No, I'm serious.
我可能也有一点点喝多了
I'm also just, like, a skosh drunk.
爸妈
Mom, Dad?
我一直在我房♥间里思考
I've been reflecting in my room,
-我需要确认一些事情 -好啊
- and I needed to double-check a few things. - Okay.
我想喜欢谁都行对吗
Anyone I love is okay, right?
-宝贝千万别感到羞愧 -爱就是爱
- Honey, never be ashamed. - Love is love is love.
我什么都可以告诉你们对吧
And I can tell you anything, right?
-当然了 -当然
- Oh, yeah. - Oh, gosh, yes.
-绝对可以 -这个家里没有话题禁区
- Absolutely. - There's nothing off-limits in this family.
没错
That's right.
好我爱上乔治娜了
Okay. I'm in love with Georgina.
好啊
Okay.
乔治娜
Georgina.
-乔治娜啊 -听起来不错
- Georgina. - Sounds cute.
恭喜你
Congratulations.
我们认识这位乔治娜姑娘吗
Do we know this lucky lady Georgina?
你们认识她就是商场的内衣模特
Yeah, she's the underwear lady at the mall.
-等等 -我的天
- Wait. - Oh, my God.
他说的是人体模型吗
Is he talking about the mannequin?
你说什么
Sorry, what now?
你给一个人体模型起名字了吗
You named the mannequin?
你们真应该把这段写进你们的育儿书里
You should put that in your parenting book.
别打岔
No, not now. Not now.
我觉得我得回商场去
I think I need to go back to the mall.
我得告诉她我怎么想的
I need to tell her how I feel.
我去写一段要对她说的话
I should go write some stuff down.
我一会儿再跟你们说
I'll see you guys later.
-别跟我们说了 -好吧
- Oh, honey, maybe not. - Okay.
我们一会儿再聊
No, we'll talk in a bit.
♪你自以为全知全会♪
♪ You thought you knew it all ♪
♪如今儿子却爱上了娃娃♪
♪ Now your son's in love with a doll ♪
弹得真好
Well-played.
别慌张放松下来
Don't panic, just relax.
这上面写了有些孩子在某一阶段
It says here, "Some kids go through a period
在面对大人时往往会采用
"of expressing their sexuality
非正统的方式表达性意识
"in unorthodox ways to deal with growing up."
他就处于这个时期
It's like a phase.
就像我当年穿苏格兰短裙一样
It's like when I was wearing kilts.
什么不是
What? No.
这是... 这不是一段时期
That is . This is not a phase.
我们得让他感到羞愧
We have to shame him out of this, so
快找一本教我们怎么让他羞愧的书
find a book that tells us how to do that
因为我爸妈说的是对的
because my parents were right.
这上面写了如果我们一步走错
Hey, it says in this one that if we play this wrong,
他就可能把这份感情埋藏心底
he could drive it underground
从而变成一个恋物癖患者
and then it becomes a fetish.
不行
No!
我可不想让他长大之后找个娃娃当女朋友
I do not want him to grow up and get a doll as a girlfriend
到了感恩节我们还得假装
and then we have to pretend to have conversations with it
和它聊天
at Thanksgiving.
还没到那种程度
Okay, we're not there yet.
还没有这么严重这可是路易
We're not there yet. It's Louie.
这其实可以理解是吧
This kinda makes sense, right?
他是个乖巧敏感的男孩
I mean, he's a sweet, sensitive boy
正处于儿童到青春期的过渡时期
somewhere in between being a child and puberty.
他当然会找一个天真的方式
Of course he's gonna find a childlike way
来表达他的性需求
of expressing his sexuality.
我以前也是这样我明白
I was kind of that kid. I get it.
所以他是遗传你的你个变♥态♥
Okay, so he gets it from you, you perv.
不这不是我想表达的
No, that's not what I'm saying.
但在塔可钟杯子的帮助下
But I did spend one very memorable summer
我确实花了一个难忘的夏天发现自我
discovering myself with the help of a Taco Bell cup
还有... 听着
with--wait for it--
杰西卡兔也参与其中
Jessica Rabbit on the side.
我把杯子都捏烂了
I squeezed that cup till it cracked.
-然后你猜我意识到什么 -我不知道
And then I realized what? - I don't know.
我喜欢托娃·拉比诺维兹
I had a crush on Tova Rabinowitz,
我太害羞了不敢跟她说话
and I was too shy to talk to her.
我想要的不是杯子墨西哥卷饼
I didn't want a cup and a chalupa
还有杰西卡兔我想要的是托娃
and Jessica Rabbit. I wanted Tova.
好吧我听到你说的了
Okay. I hear what you're saying.
所以我们把儿子带到
So let's drive our son
肯洛高地购物中心
to Kenlo Heights Mall
好让他跟人体模特说话
so he can talk to a mannequin.
伙计们我受够了我想我妈
Guys, that's it. I miss my mum.
我最爱的开襟羊毛衫缩水了
All right? I've shrunk my favorite cardigan.
我自己洗衣服就会变成这样
Look what happens when I do my laundry.
我太沮丧了坐在丹尼餐厅外边
I got so frustrated I just sat outside a Denny's
踩了45分钟的油门
revving my engine for 45 minutes.
这事已经太过分了
This has gone too far now, okay?
我们要停止这个「妈妈大清洗」
We need to call this mum cleanse off.
不行不行
Okay. No, no, no, no.
我们不能放弃
We can't give up.
我可以
I can.
我爱放弃
I love giving up.
我最擅长了
It's my best thing.
-我可以帮你 -太好了
- I can help you. - Yes.
不不不
No, no, no.