糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E01

Part 3 May 11, 2021, 9:14 a.m.

你们真病态
You guys are sick.
要不试试心理战
Mind games, I guess?
我只希望莉莉能讨厌跳舞退出舞蹈队
Look, I just need Lily to hate dancing
还不能让她发现是我♥干♥的
and quit without it getting traced back to me,
因为将来我想看她生孩子
because I want to watch her give birth one day.
我不想打断你们但我们是不是该研究
I hate to be a buzz-kill but shouldn't we be working on your
我们新游戏里那位只能看不能干的女主角了
un-bangable heroine for our new game?
我们这里必须雇一些女员工
We have got to hire more women in this place.
你想用来对付孩子的这种微妙的心理操纵
The kind of subtle mental manipulation
你想用来对付孩子的这种微妙的心理操纵
you're hoping to unleash on your kid
就是基础版的「盗梦空间」
is basic "Inception."
是的你只需要在莉莉的大脑里
Yep. You just, uh, plant something
种下想法她就听你的了
in Lily's head, and she acts on it.
举个例子我在学校有个朋友特尼
For example, I had a friend at school, Teeny.
但是他现在不怎么样
Okay, now he was bad news.
又喝酒又抽烟
He drank, he smoked,
还殴打餐厅女工
punched a lunch lady.
他可真是酷
He was really cool.
总而言之有一天我妈喜欢上了他
Anyway, one day my mum decides that she likes him.
从那以后我看特尼就像个失败者
Since then, I saw Teeny as a total loser
我就不和他玩了
and I dropped him.
你妈在水里下毒毒死了特尼
Your mom poisoned the waters and got rid of Teeny.
不完全是
Not quite.
他们在做♥爱♥
They were having sex.
特尼现在是我的继父
Teeny's now my stepdad.
就是这样
That's right.
好吧我要「盗梦空间」我女儿
All right, I'm gonna go "Inception" my daughter.
好了记住盗梦的关键是
Okay, remember: the key to inception is
我们越上心就越能破坏莉莉的决心
the more we're into it, the more we ruin it for Lily.
最终她会觉得很丢脸想退出
Eventually she'll think it's uncool and want to quit.
-大闹一场懂吗 -简单
- Just make a big scene, okay? - Easy enough.
上啊莉莉
Go, Lily!
加油跳妹子
Make it happen, girl.
屁♥股♥扭起来莉莉
Shake that booty, Lily.
天啊她屁♥股♥扭得可真带劲
God, she really is shaking that booty.
举臂滑步
Arms! Sashay!
烛台铅管
Candlestick! Lead pipe!
你是在喊「妙探寻凶」里的武器吗
Are you just shouting weapons from "Clue"?
-对「舞蹈妈咪」里就这么喊 -好吧
- Yeah, on "Dance Moms" they just shout stuff. - Okay.
-好吧 -摇摆吧梅教授
- Okay. - Shake it, Professor Plum!
这不管用我们得再加把劲
It's not working. We need to step it up.
我们来跳大学里时舞步吧
Let's do our routine from college.
五六七八
Five, six, seven, eight.
孩子们玩起来
Kid 'n play!
莉莉
Whoo-hoo, Lily!
妈你来干什么
Mom, what are you doing here?
我来表示支持
I'm showing my support.
我从前就是这样让你放弃我不喜欢的事
It's how I used to get you to quit things I didn't like.
加油莉莉
Go, Lily!
外婆说屁♥股♥抖起来
Grandma says, shake your bacon!
好极了不仅我妈和我有同样的邪恶计划
Great, not only did my mom and I have the same diabolical plan,
莉莉也没有退队
but Lily didn't quit.
我忘了她是喜欢我的
I forgot she actually likes me.
在我放弃前还有一件事
Before I gave up, there was one more thing
可以让这些家伙们帮我
I could get the guys to do to fix this.
伙计们
Guys...
「盗梦空间」弄巧成拙了
"Inception" backfired.
我有些放心了
I'm kind of relieved.
拒绝莉莉选择跳舞的尊严
It was pretty anti-feminist to refuse Lily
其实挺反女权主义的
the dignity of her choice to dance.
所谓将女性桎梏于霸权结构中
Talk about keeping women locked in a hegemonic power structure.
诺曼我很喜欢和你讨论
Norman, I usually love discussing the finer points
女权主义的细节但是你
of feminism with you, but you're, uh,
正踩在巨♥乳♥上
stepping on a giant boob.
你觉得我很自在吗
You think this is comfortable for me?
我困在这上面了而没有人来帮我
I'm stuck up here and no one will help.
等一下我还有一个主意
Hold that thought. I have another idea,
但我需要你们的帮助
but I'm gonna need your assistance.
很好我们帮
Great. Uh, we're in.
这么简单
Wow, that was easy.
你们真的很在乎我的育儿问题
You guys are really invested in my kid issues.
我们基本没有个人生活
Well, we don't really have a life.
但我以为如今书呆子都和模特约会
But I thought nerds date models now.
是的
Yeah, they do.
具体来说不是我们
Just not us, specifically.
不我和那个足模约会过
No, I--I dated that foot model.
太牵强了好吧过来
Wow, that's a stretch. Okay, come on.
什么
What--hey--
你们去哪儿
where'd you guys go?
我真的尿急不要啊
I really need to pee. Oh, no.
他们正在转接
They're putting me through.
请接弗里德曼校长
Uh, Principal Friedman, please.
我不能打电♥话♥给学校
I couldn't exactly call the school
让他们解散舞蹈队
and tell them to shut down the dance team--
但是格瑞夫可以
but Griff could.
弗里德曼校长
Principal Friedman?
我是温赖特先生
This is Mr. Wainwright.
先生我是一名非常担忧
Sir, I'm a very concerned,
非常信奉基♥督♥的女生家长
very Christian parent of a young girl at your school.
我亲爱的小天使加入了一个非常性别歧视
Now, my little sweet angel is on this very sexist,
-非常侮辱人格的舞蹈队 -没错
- very demeaning dance team... - Right.
请告诉我您会让男生们
Yeah, tell me, sir, would you ever have boys doing
参与这种不正当的舞吗
these type of unlawful gyrations?
请解散它先生
I say shut it down, sir.
我完全同意
I couldn't agree more.
我女儿的名字是
My--my daughter's name is...
-不许用游戏角色不 -雅典娜
- No video game characters, no. - Athena.
-影之安娜 -蓓优妮塔
- Annah-of-the-Shadows. - Bayonetta.
-齐娜 -蜜桃公主
- Xena. - Princess Peach.
-她的名字是 -莉斯
- Her name is... - Liz.
春丽先生
Chun Li, sir.
春丽·温赖特
Chun Li Wainwright.
「街头霸王」
"Street Fighter."
棒极了
That is just fantastic.
回头再聊好吧
We'll--we'll talk soon, okay?
耶稣玛利亚和约瑟
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
保佑他
Bless--bless Him.
-怎么样 -弗里德曼校长说
- What? - Uh, Principal Friedman says
他会立即采取行动
he's going to take immediate action.
-太好了 -没问题
- Yes. - All right.
-谢谢你格瑞夫 -太厉害了
- Thank you, Griff. - That's so cool.
告诉别人你信教
You tell people you're religious,
他们就会听你的
and they just, like, listen to you.
太抱歉了我知道我要求了很多
I'm so sorry. I know I've put a lot on you,
但抚养孩子好难知道吗
but raising kids is hard, you know?
你总要陪在他们身边
You always have to be there.
你得一直盯着他们
You have to keep your eye on them,
保护他们
always protect them.
你不能让他们
You can't just-- you can't leave them dangling
自生自灭明白吗
without any support, you know?
诺曼在哪儿
Where's Norman?
不他不会还在墙上吧
No. Is he still on the wall?
拍到了
Yes.
这就是为什么我对胸部从不放手
That's why I never let go of boobs.
可爱的家人们
Hi, cute family.
我想你了艾莉
I missed you, Ily.
还有你西蒙
And Simone.
我家没吃的了
Oh yeah. I ran out of food,
但是你妈给我做了咖喱鹰嘴豆
but your mother made me curried chickpeas.
你心情挺好
You're in a good mood.