绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S08E16

Part 3 Oct. 23, 2019, 10:57 a.m.

好了警探我们就不浪费你的时间了
All right, detective, I think we're wasting your time.
还是我自己来解决吧
I can take care of this.
不行麦克一直都是你来解决
No, Mike. You've been taking care of it,
结果到了现在这个地步
and look where it got us.
我们有个九岁的儿子
We have a 9-year-old son.
好吧好吧我能做的是
Okay. Okay, look, here's what I can do.
登记你们的住址
We have your address.
让巡逻车盯着点
I'll make sure the patrol car keeps an eye on things.
如果再见到那个人记得报♥警♥
And if you see this guy, call us.
等等这就完了
Wait. That's it?
夫人什么事都没发生之前
Ma'am, I'm afraid that's all we can do
我们也只能做到这一点
until something else happens.
太棒了没准我们还真碰上狗屎运
Great. Well, maybe we'll get lucky,
真的会有事发生吧
And something else will happen.
亲爱的新煮的咖啡
Honey, there's fresh coffee.
你要不要用随身杯带点
You want me to put some in a travel mug?
好的
Okay.
怎么了
What's wrong?
跟酒鬼们共度了一个月
30 days with the rehab hippies,
你都忘了怎么打领带了吗
And you've already forgotten how to tie a tie?
我只是在想
I've just been thinking.
25年了我每天都系领带
I've worn a tie every day for 25 years,
其实我一直都讨厌这玩意儿勒我脖子
And I've always hated the way it feels around my neck.
那又如何我也有很多穿着不舒服的东西
So? I wear lots of uncomfortable things--
比如恨天高和拼命挤事业线的胸罩
High-heeled shoes, bras that mash my boobs together.
我开始怀疑
I'm starting to think that a tie
领带根本就是个好看的绞索
Is basically just a fancy noose.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
你不是第一天回去上班紧张了吧
You're not nervous about your first day back, are you?
我不知道
I don't know.
我也以为自己应该兴奋可惜我没有
I just thought I'd be more excited than I am.
可你是老板
Well, you're the boss.
你要干劲十足奋发向上
You want excitement, shake things up.
一会儿买♥♥个新复印机
Buy a new xerox machine
一会儿贴贴眼花缭乱的的彩色便笺
Or get some post-its in crazy colors.
还能带着手下寻欢作乐喝个烂醉如泥
Take the staff to happy hoho. Get stinking drunk.
好吧烂醉如泥就算了
Okay, maybe not the stinking drunk part,
你明白我的意思就好
But you know what I mean.
我要送姑娘们去上学了
I gotta get the girls to school.
晚上见
See you tonight.
要我说就为了一双靴子
I'm just saying, you didn't have to
不至于跟那女的大打出手吧
fight that woman over a pair of boots.
是我先看到的
I saw 'em first.
当时人家已经试穿上了
On her feet.
不好意思我逛街就是这么纽约范儿
Sorry. I shop New York style.
不打到头破血流
Until someone is either bruised or bleeding,
绝不算完
No sale is final.
你好
Hello?
嗨凯伦
Oh, hi, Karen.
不不我现在不太方便
No. No, now is not a good time.
雷尼在我这儿
Uh, Renee's visiting.
我明天有空
Well, uh, I'm open tomorrow.
明天上午我帮你安乐死吧
Perhaps I could euthanize you in the morning.
好的明天见
Great. I will see you then.
我不是故意的但我都听到了
So I couldn't help but overhear.
凯伦打来的她癌细胞扩散了
It's Karen. Her cancer's spreading.
-不是吧 -是真的
- Oh, no. - Yeah.
她情绪...很低落...
She's... depressed and...
想让我帮她体面地去世
Wants me to help her die with dignity.
我的老天你真要帮她吗
Oh, my god. Are you gonna do it?
当然不是
Of course not.
她不过是刚听说这个惊天噩耗
She just got devastating news.
一时接受不了
She's in a state of shock.
我不过是假意顺从
I'm just trying to string her along
拖几天她就又想通了
And buy some time until she's thinking clearly again.
你觉得管用吗
Think that'll work?
肯定管用
It's got to.
另外为了分散她的注意力
By the way, to help her keep her mind off it,
我要带人过去拜访拜访她喝喝茶
I'm having people stop by and have tea,
跟她玩玩拼字游戏
You know, play scrabble with her,
给她做个足底按♥摩♥
Maybe give her a foot massage.
你看明天能不能跟我去陪她——
Do you think tomorrow maybe you could stop by and--
布里我要是摸了那老太太的脚丫子
Bree, if I touch that woman's feet,
你干脆把我也安乐死了吧
You're gonna have to euthanize me.
佩妮生日快乐
比利你在哪儿
Billy, where are you?
看啊那有金子快来有金子
Oh, look, look! There's a gold! Come on! The gold!
-妈妈 -怎么了
- Mom? - Yeah?
这次派对太棒了太谢谢你了
This party is amazing. Thank you so much!
我希望你过个完美的生日嘛
Oh, I just wanted your birthday to be perfect.
佩妮生日快乐
Happy birthday, Penny.
话又说回来世上没那么多完美的事儿
Then again, nothing's perfect.
简汤姆去取蛋糕了
Hey, Jane. Tom went to pick up the cake,
你要不要先回车里坐坐...
So if you wanna wait in the car or...
没想到你还带了位客人
Oh! I didn't know you were bringing a guest.
其实这是我送给佩妮的礼物
Actually, this is my gift for Penny.
送个艺妓吗
A geisha?
这是我侄女辛迪她是摄影师
My niece Cindy. She's a photographer.
见到你很高兴
Hi. Nice to meet you.
她会拍很多派对的照片
She's gonna take pictures of the party,
然后我来做本小小的美好回忆影集
And then I'm gonna make a little memory book.
酷
Cool!
我就知道你会喜欢
I knew you would love it.
过来
Come here.
一起做鬼脸
Funny faces.
完美极了
Perfect.
过来咱俩聊聊
Can I talk to you for a second?
没问题
Okay.
你什么意思
What are you doing?
确保我会出现在美好回忆影集里
Just making sure I'm in the memory book.
我和佩妮每张照片你都要抢镜头
You're invading every photo that Penny and I are in.
我是她亲妈是你抢我们的镜头
I'm her mother. Maybe you're the invader.
又来了
And we're back to this.
我花了好几个礼拜策划这个派对
I spent weeks planning this party,
想让她过个完美生日结果半路杀出了你
Making it perfect for her, and then you come in
还来抢我的风头
And upstage me?
我这是跟佩妮培养感情
I'm just trying to forge a relationship with Penny.
培养什么啊你根本不是这家人
Well, stop forging. You're not family.
你不过跟她爸爸...
You're just some woman her father is...
约约会
"Seeing."
其实...
Well...
"其实"什么呀
"Well," What?
其实...
Well...
我们不止如此
That's not all I am.
你什么意思
What does that mean?
你应该问汤姆
You know, you should probably talk to Tom.
汤姆没在干脆你说吧
Tom's not here, so why don't you tell me
你支支吾吾地想说什么
What the hell you're talking about?
好吧
Okay.
我本来不想传话的
I really didn't want you to hear this from me,
但是既然你强烈要求...
But since you're insisting...
汤姆要我去跟他同居
Tom asked me to move in with him.
现在明白了吧
So now you know.
真不好意思
Sorry!
取蛋糕取了这么久
The cake took longer than I thought.
怎么了
What?
你要跟简同居了
This is how I find out
你居然都不告诉我还要我听她说才知道
You and jane are going to live together? From her?
不是吧不是吧她什么都不该说的
Oh, no, no, no, no. She wasn't supposed to say anything.
看来你没跟她商量好她全告诉我了
Well, she didn't get the memo because she did say something
就在咱们家说的咱俩共同生活过的家