绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S08E04

Part 6 Oct. 23, 2019, 10:56 a.m.

那些可可爱的秋千
those disgusting...ly happy swings.
就像个静默合伙人吗
You mean like a silent partner?
不过问不出面
A silent, invisible,
完全匿名的合伙人
and completely untraceable partner
在很远很远的地方支持你
who supports you from far, far away.
我爱你宝贝
I love you, sweetie.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
现在去收拾好你的性♥爱♥工厂
Now... go pack up your sex factory,
我去给你烤些饼干
and I will bake us some cookies.
你们接下来可能会画出100幅糟糕的画
You're about to paint a hundred bad paintings,
让我们绕过它们
so let's get those out of the way
走上真正的创作道路
so you can start painting the good ones.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我忘了拿画夹
Uh, I forgot my portfolio.
坐下
Sit down.
你说什么
Excuse me?
坐下你迟到了
Sit down. You're late.
你接受我这个学生了吗
Does that mean you're letting me join the class?
暂时的
For now.
但是昨天来的那个女人那个疯女人
But that woman who showed up yesterday--the crazy one--
她最好天天都能过来
she better be here every single day.
我不知道我喜不喜欢那个女人
I-I don't know if I like that woman.
她让我觉得很害怕
She scares me.
很好
Good.
好了第一步
Okay, I want you to start
我要你们忘掉所有学到过的笔法
by forgetting everything you heard about brush technique.
我看过你们的画
I've seen your painting.
要么是你们听错了
Either you heard it wrong,
要么是人家教错了
or it was wrong.
准备好去散步了吗
Hey. Are you ready for our walk?
实际上计划有变
Actually, change of plans.
我觉得我们该去上健身中心的
I thought we'd go to that booty burn ballet class
-燃脂芭蕾课 -怎么回事
- at the fitness center. - What's going on?
没事女人就不能燃烧点脂肪吗
Nothing. Can't a woman just wanna burn her booty?
好吧我觉得汤姆的确在和别的女人约会
Fine. I think you're right about Tom seeing someone.
一个有氧健身教练
She's an aerobics teacher.
果然真是老掉牙的情节
Of course she is. Cliche much?
我在想我要去她的健身班我要
So I'm thinking, I'll go to her class, and I'll--
其实我也不知道自己在瞎想什么
Actually, I-I don't know what the hell I'm thinking.
你想暗中监视这个女人
You're thinking you wanna spy on this woman
看她长什么样然后离开时拿钥匙划花她的车
and see what she's like, then key her car on the way out.
完全可以理解
It's perfectly natural.
你不觉得我是疯了吧难道我不该
So I'm not crazy? I shouldn't just be direct
直接去问汤姆是不是在和谁约会吗
And ask Tom if he's seeing someone?
当然不行那他就可以
Why? So he can lie to you
露出无比洁白的牙齿对你扯谎了
through his unnaturally white teeth?
那好吧
Okay, then.
咱们走吧
I guess we're going.
好啊燃脂芭蕾
Yeah. Uh, booty burn ballet--
我们能行吗
think we can do this?
拜托还能有多难
Oh, please. How hard can it be?
应该不是只有我一个人要累昏了吧
Am I the only one about to pass out?
不我总是看见我去世的祖父
No. I keep seeing my dead grandfather
站在那一边
at the end of the tunnel,
对我说 "走向光明吧"
saying "Come toward the light."
继续女士们紧盯着你们的大腿
Keep going, ladies. Keep your eyes on the thighs!
莫非她是想借用战斗口号♥
Did she just use a civil rights rallying cry
来帮我们减掉屁♥股♥上的脂肪
to get us to lose ass fat?
第一次来吧
First time, huh?
你怎么看出来的
Oh, what gave me away?
是因为我刚进来时上衣还是干爽的天蓝色吗
The fact that this was light blue when I came in?
好消息是
Well, the good news is
如果你心脏病发作我是个医生
if you have a heart attack, I'm a doctor.
坏消息是如果你犯了病我可不是医生
The bad news is if you have one, I'm not.
好的如果我累死了
Okay, so if I die,
请把我屁♥股♥朝上放进棺材
please put me ass up in the coffin.
我可不希望这些努力全白费了
I'd hate for all this work to go to waste.
站起来女士们
On your feet, ladies.
好了我们已经看过了竞争对手
Okay, we've checked out the competition.
能走了吗
Can we go now?
不行
No.
我想跟她聊聊
I want to talk to her.
好了大家
Okay, everybody,
该练练股四头肌了
Time to work those quads.
我现在真不知道你和她我更恨谁了
I don't know who I hate more right now--you or her.
弹跳五十下
50 lunges!
跳向你苗条的未来
Jump towards your skinny, skinny future.
还是她胜出了
And we have a winner.
你好这是索利斯太太
Hi. It's Mrs. Solis.
麻烦你告诉肖恩我的修眉预约
Can you tell Sean I'm running about 20 minutes late
大概会晚个20分钟
for my brow-waxing appointment?
什么你不能保留到那时候
What? You can't hold it for me?
可我眼睛上跟趴了两条毛虫似的
But I've got caterpillars over my eyes.
好吧我五分钟后到
Fine. I'll be there in five minutes.
胡安妮塔回到车里来
Juanita, get back in the car.
我送你到校门口
We're going drop-off.
加布你干吗呢
Gaby, what are you doin'?
你没有停车牌不能开进停车坪的
You can't be in the carpool lane without a placard.
我才不管该有人来给戴娜上一课了
Don't give a crap. It's time somebody taught Dana a lesson.
我们得把这暴君推下台
We need to break the back of our oppressor.
绿色通道
排列锥筒
Mobilize the cones!
下车啊亲爱的快快快
Get out, sweetie. Go. Go. Go, go, go!
这下我修不了眉了
I'm never gonna get that eyebrow wax.
戴娜我再次向你道歉
Again, Dana, I am so sorry.
朝好的方面看上了石膏显得挺苗条的
On the upside, that cast is so slimming.
就像件塑身衣
It's like a hard spanx.
加布我要求见你是有原因的
Gaby, there's a reason I asked to see you.
你是想把停车牌还给我吧
You wanted to give me my placard back.
不是你能把止疼片递给我吗
No. Could you hand me those painkillers?
我想给你转达一下
I just wanted to bring you up to date
学校最新的消息
on some school-related news.
鉴于我目前的情况
Given my condition,
学校通知说我无法再履行
they've informed me that I'm no longer able
家长会主席的职责
to carry out my duties as P.T.A. President.
太不幸了
That's a bummer.
是啊
Yes, it is.
根据条例我将指定一位新主席
The bylaws state I'm to appoint an acting president,
而我已经做出了决定
and I've made my decision.
我
Me?
等一下你讨厌我来着
Wait. You hate me.
很有观察力
Very perceptive.
这有利于你作为下任主席开展工作
That'll serve you well as P.T.A. President.
等等等等
W--okay, wait.
你为什么要这样
Why are you doing this?
我来告诉你我接受这工作之前的状况
Let me tell you what I was like before I took this job.
我以前很有趣
I was fun.
我在学校活动上喝酒
I drank at school functions.
假日聚会上我还不小心露了胸器
My boob fell out at the holiday party.
我那会还有老公
I still had a husband.
那你是怎么变成这样的
So what turned you into this?
这工作害的
The job did. Mm-hmm.
所以你也会有如此下场
And it's gonna do the same to you.
对没时间再去做指甲
Yeah, no time for manicures
因为你得策划冬季大会
'cause you'll be planning the winter gala.
没时间再跟老公甜蜜
No more seeing your husband
因为你得要组织烘烤销♥售♥会
because you'll be organizing the bake sale.
也不再有朋友
And no more friends,
因为你总会因为什么事得罪他们
because you'll always be hitting them up for something.
你的复仇计划听起来是挺不错
Well, as attractive as your little revenge fantasy sounds,
我不会接手的