绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S08E05

Part 1 Oct. 23, 2019, 10:56 a.m.

《绝望的主妇》前情提要
Previously on Desperate Housewives
在学校撞人后
After an incident at school...
加布被迫顶替家长会会长
Gaby was forced to replace the P.T.A. President.
我
Me?
卡洛斯依旧心存愧疚
Carlos was struggling with his guilt.
我跟变了个人似的失眠见到鬼
This is not me. I can't sleep. I'm seeing ghosts.
我懂
I know.
苏珊找到了解决之道
Susan found a way to cope.
我要去学校里修一门绘画课程
I'm taking a painting class
-是安德烈·泽勒的课 -很好
being taught by Andre Zeller. Great.
但这位著名画家出言不逊
But the famous painter didn't make it easy.
你不过是个无聊的家庭主妇
You're a bored housewife trying to kill time
想在上健身课和送孩子踢足球的间隙
between spin class and driving your kid
来打发时间
to soccer practice.
而勒奈特发现自从两口子分居后
And Lynette discovered that since their separation,
汤姆就开始约会了
Tom had started dating.
就吃过几次饭喝过几次咖啡
It's just a couple of dinners and... coffee.
汤姆你什么时候才打算告诉我呢
God, tom. When were you gonna tell me this?
他们相伴二十年期间
In their 20 years together,
汤姆和勒奈特夫妻俩一直遵循着简单的原则
Tom and Lynette Scavo had followed a few simple rules...
家务一起做
Always share the housework...
热水不浪费
Never waste the hot water,
床头打架床尾和
and never, ever go to bed angry.
没错相处的原则很简单
Yes, the rules for being together were simple.
可分居的原则...
But the rules for being apart...
绝不简单
were anything but.
别再管这叫"约会"了
Stop calling it "Dating."
只是和朋友吃个饭而已
It's dinner with a friend.
别那样别发那怪声
Do not do that. Do not do the snort.
你能让她别哼哼了吗
Could you make her stop snorting?
勒奈特我觉得有事说事
Lynette, I find it more effective
比用鼻子发出噪音更管用
when we use words rather than inflammatory noises.
你想让我说话那我就说了
You want words? Here are some words.
骗子骗子火烧裤子
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
在高级餐厅吃双人龙虾餐
Lobster for two at chez nous
可没朋友关系那么简单吧
is not "Dinner with a friend."
在樱花餐馆一晚上花300块
A $300 night at Sakura
可不是和兄弟简单搓一顿
is not strapping on a feedbag with a buddy.
我还负责我们俩的信♥用♥卡♥账单天才
I still do our credit card bills, genius.
好了就说到这里
All right, enough words.
不是我出去寻花问柳
Hey, it's not like I went looking for this.
简就和我住同一幢楼我们就闲聊起来
Jane lives in the building. We got to talking.
知道吗她对我嘘寒问暖
You know what? She was actually nice to me--
我过去可没这待遇
Something I'm not used to.
我不能哼哼可这么指桑骂槐就可以吗
Oh, I can't snort, but a drive-by like that's okay?
好了你们俩的情绪都有点激动
All right, emotions are running a little hot,
可我找到根源了
but I think I know why.
你们俩仓促分居
You two embarked on this separation
心里却没有明确的目标
without a clear goal in mind.
你们想努力复合
Are you trying to get back together,
还是想以体面的方式
or are you trying to find
结束这段婚姻
a graceful way to end the marriage?
我们不必立马做决定
We don't have to decide this right now,
可我们需要先落实些原则
but we do need to lay down some ground rules.
比如说你们在约会吗
For example, are you dating?
-他在约会 -只吃了两顿饭
- He is. - Two dinners.
好那你在约会
All right, so you are dating.
发生过关系吗
What about sex?
没
No.
还没
Not yet.
我...
I-I...
他刚回答了你的第一个问题
He just answered your first question.
他想结束这段婚姻
He wants to end the marriage.
不勒奈特我可没这么说
No, Lynette, that's not what I'm saying.
我没有放弃
I'm not giving up.
什么叫"还没"
"Not yet"?
我还抱有希望我们能找到方法
Look, I still hope that we can find a way
把问题给解决
to work things out,
可...
But...
我们无法令彼此开心
We don't make each other happy.
已经很久了
We haven't for a long time.
所以如果我们...
So what if--I mean,
如果有别人能让我们开心起来呢
What if there was someone out there who could?
我只是感觉如果我们不去...
I just feel like if we don't...
一探究竟
explore...
那我们就会在这里就在这张沙发上
then we are gonna end up right back in here, on this couch,
互吐不满
hating each other.
看来你有很多顾虑
Sounds like you have a lot to consider.
没什么好顾虑的
There's nothing to consider.
我们可以找人上♥床♥了
We're... cleared for sex.
开始约会吧
Let the dating begin.
没错汤姆和勒奈特在学习分居法则
Yes, Tom and Lynette were learning the rules of separation.
而第一条原则是
And the first rule?
而且我迫不及待想让我的新男友
And I can't wait to let my new boyfriend
对我做我从不让你做的那件事
do that thing I never let you do.
没有原则
There are no rules.
每个群体里
In any group,
人们注定要扮演起某些角色
there are roles that people are destined to play--
烹制点心的完美主妇
The perfect homemaker to bring the snacks,
精心管账的财务专员
The financial wizard to keep the books...
和传播八卦的多事之人
And the busybody to share the gossip.
主席
家长会会议今天下午四点半
可有时最重要的角色
But sometimes the most important role of all
分给了
goes to someone
最不当回事的人
who's not the slightest bit prepared for it.
大家好我知道我来得有点晚
Hi, guys. I know, I'm a little bit late.
只是有点吗足足有45分钟
A little? Try 45 minutes.
你们一旦听到了我的遭遇
Well, once you hear what I've been through,
就会完全理解我了
you will totally understand.
那你们知道什么叫热石按♥摩♥吗
So... you know how it's called a hot stone massage?
我刚才在做理疗
So there I am at the spa,
右手端着莫吉托左手拿着"美丽佳人"
Laid out with my mojito, my "Marie Claire,"
突然间我感到我屁♥股♥上有块冰凉的石头
And all of a sudden, I feel a cold rock on my ass.
我就知道
I know!
所以阿曼多连连道歉他想重新热一下
So Armando was all apologetic. He wanted to reheat the rocks.
可就在那时我说
But at this point, I'm like,
"抱歉我还有家长会要开"
"I'm sorry. I've got a P.T.A. Meeting to run."
如果你走了那怎么会迟到
If you left, why are you late?
阿曼多很抱歉
Oh, Armando felt so bad,
他免费给我做了海藻膜
He gave me a complimentary seaweed wrap.
那今天的议程是什么
So... what's on the agenda here?
我们该计划教师答谢晚会
We're supposed to plan teacher appreciation night.
对对那该怎么分工
Mm. Right, right. So who's doing what for that?
辛迪你来负责烹饪吧
Cindy, you wanna handle the food?
不
No.
好吧
Okay.
瑞秋你总是说个不停你来主持吧
Rachel, you never stop talking. You wanna emcee?
不
No.
好吧你们都怎么了
Okay, what's going on here?
你把我们的时间都给浪费了
What's going on is you've wasted our time.
我走了我得去接我的孩子们了
I'm leaving. I have to pick up my kids.
我得回去工作了
I have to get back to my job.
我得带我妈去做化疗
I need to take my mother to chemo.
好吧好吧大家别装可怜了
Wh--okay, okay. Let's not play sad-life poker here.
我要你们帮忙
I need your help.
我们也想虚度时光
You know, we would love to fritter away our days
修修指甲做做头发做做水疗
with manicures and hairdressers and spa appointments,
可我们不像你我们还要过日子
but we're not like you. We have lives.
所以你可以自己操办这个教师答谢晚会
So you can do teacher appreciation night on your own.
什...
Wh--