绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S08E03

Part 4 Oct. 23, 2019, 10:56 a.m.

他趁你睡觉的时候拍下了你的手
He took a picture of your hand while you were sleeping?
这太吓人了
How creepy is that?
我知道他为什么要这么做
I know. Why would he do such a thing?
-天哪－怎么了
- Oh, my god. - What?
他肯定是在犯罪现场发现了手印
He must have found a handprint at the crime scene.
他把你的手型从照片上印下来
He pulled your print off the photo,
结果完全相符
and they were a match.
-有这可能吗 -我不知道
- Is that possible? - I don't know.
那信封里会是什么
Well, then what's in the envelope?
也许是手♥机♥ 也许是一节铲柄
Maybe the cell phone or a piece of the shovel handle.
不管是什么他是想用那个来揭穿我们
Whatever it is, that's what he's gonna use to nail us.
我们得拿到那个信封
Well, we have to get that envelope,
我不能老让他搅调味酱来转移注意力
and I can't keep distracting him by having him stir sauces.
顺便说一句他做的蛋黄酱
By the way, his bearnaise--
简直没法吃
disaster.
今晚他回家后
Okay. Tonight when he gets home,
你带他出去走得远远的
you take him for a long walk,
后门开着我来解决剩下的事情
leave the back door open, and I'll do the rest.
明白了
Got it.
如果手提箱是锁着的怎么办
What if the briefcase is locked?
我可以撬锁没错
I can pick locks. Yeah.
我还可以用假音伪造签名
I can also disguise my voice, forge people's signatures,
我还是一名体面的扒手
and I'm a decent pickpocket.
私通教会我很多有用的生活技巧
Adultery gave me some valuable life skills.
分数最没用了
Fractions are so stupid.
反正我这辈子也不会用上这玩意
I'm never gonna need this stuff anyway.
你开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
假如你嫁了一个身价二千万的男人
Let's say you marry a guy who's worth $20 million.
你和他离婚了他给你一半的钱
You divorce him, and he gives you half,
但是你们签了婚前协议说你可以拿四分之三
but your prenup says you get three-quarters.
那额外的五百万你就可以买♥♥游艇了
That extra $5 million gets you a yacht,
这都归功于你学好了分数
because you learned your fractions.
顺便说一句这可是真事
True story, by the way.
有人吗我是李
Hello? It's Lee!
快上来
Hey! Come on up.
你会是个很酷的妈妈
You know, you'd be a really cool mom.
真的吗
You think so?
不会我大概只会把孩子丢在夜♥总♥会♥
No, I'd probably just leave the kid in a nightclub
或摩洛哥
or... Morocco.
你来干什么
Hey. What are you doing here?
还能干什么我在找我女儿
What am I doing here? I'm looking for my daughter,
谁说过五点前要回家
Who said she'd be home by 5:00.
-我想我们聊得有点得意忘形了 -绝对
- I guess we got carried away. - Totes.
把单词说完整这能浪费你多少时间
Use the whole word! How much time are you saving?
-冷静点 -你能别管这事吗
- Calm down. - Can you stay out of this?
这是我和我女儿之间的事
This is between me and my daughter.
别说了你让我太尴尬了
Stop. You're embarrassing me.
我不在乎
I don't care.
你现在就跟我回家
You need to come home with me... Now.
我要是说我还不想离开呢
What if I say I'm not ready to leave?
我要是说你被禁足一周呢
What if I say you're grounded for a week?
你还要跟我讨价还价吗
Should we keep going?
什么这太不公平了
What?! You are so unfair!
你对她要求有点太严格了吧
Aren't you being a little hard on her?
你别管雷尼别真把自己当妈了
Back off, Renee. You're not her mother.
宝贝这是你迄今为止做的
Mmm. My sweet, that was your most
最美味的一顿饭
delicious meal yet.
这是什么
What was in this?
核桃麻脂凝乳
Uh, just walnuts, hemp curds,
还有一种非常特殊的配方
and one very special ingredient.
千万别说是"爱"
Please don't say "Love,"
因为我已经要吐了
Because I'm already nauseous.
我发现餐后散步
I find that a walk after a meal
有助于消化
helps encourage my digestive flow.
有人要跟我一起走走吗
Anybody care to join me?
你去吧我来收拾
You go. I'll clean up.
不要勒奈特
No, Lynette!
这里面都是毒物
That's full of poison.
是啊美味的奶油毒物
Yes, delicious, creamy poison,
顺便提醒你一下
which, by the way,
你曾经狼吞虎咽吃了不少
you used to suck down by the gallon.
是我知道但我已经变了
Yes, I know, but I've changed.
我也想助你转变所以我才来的
And I wanna help you change, too. It's why I'm here.
这话比我们刚吃完的饭
Wow. That's a bigger load of crap
还要扯
than the one we just ate.
你说什么
Excuse me?
你来这里不是为了我而是因为头一次
You're not here for me. You're here because for once,
沐浴幸福爱河的人是你
you're the one in the happy relationship,
你迫不及待地要在我的伤口上撒盐
and you just couldn't wait to rub my face in it.
你怎么能
How could--
你为什么不
Why do you al--no.
不不不不不
No, no, no, no. No.
你可别想拖我下水
You won't drag me down to your level.
我正被爱情能量营造的
I am surrounded by a beautiful bubble
美丽气泡环绕
of loving energy.
没错莉迪亚
Yes, Lydia,
你现在就活在虚幻的泡沫中
you are in a bubble,
但一旦采石者丢弃了你
but once the pebble collector
他们通常都会这么做
dumps you like they all do,
你就又会回到吃成堆的冰淇淋
you'll go right back to being the ice cream-binging,
狂饮酒精的日子
wine-swilling,
露出你神经质的真面目
neurotic mess you really are.
泡泡破裂
Pop!
你太刻薄了天哪我恨你
You are so mean. God, I hate you.
这才是你欢迎回归本色
There she is. Welcome back.
一直以来你都把我当成衰人
My whole life, you've treated me like a screwup.
你永远都比我开心
You always had to be the happy one,
比我聪明还比我先结婚
the smart one, the married one.
我告诉你贱♥人♥ 现在你才是衰人
Well, guess what? Now you're the screwup, bitch.
你单身一人孤单悲惨
You're alone and miserable,
我真是乐在其中
and I love it.
爽啊爽啊爽翻了
I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it!
我忘带iPod了
I just, uh, forgot my iPod.
不妙雪当利冰淇淋
Uh-oh. A chardonnay float.
这是不是说...
Does that mean...
正是
Yes.
拉什独自一人去了灵修会
Rashi's gone to the retreat alone,
所以... 恭喜
So... congratulations.
现在我和你一样惨了
Now I'm just as miserable as you are.
他甩了你吗
Did he... dump you?
他说现在他看到了真实的我
He said now that he's seen the real me,
他得好好考虑要不要和我结婚
he needs to meditate on whether or not he can still marry me.
姐们我全搞砸了
I'm so screwed, dude.
如果他这么快就决定放手
You know, if he was that quick to run off,
也许他不是你的真命天子
maybe he's not the guy.
他就是
He's the guy.
可惜我不是他的真命天女
I'm just not the girl.
我以为我能甩掉失败的过去
I thought I could put all that loser stuff behind me
真正拥有一段可靠的感情
and actually have a functional relationship.
我想是我太过奢求了
I guess that's too much to ask for.
你何不找他谈谈
Why don't you go talk to him?
不行
I can't.
见识了我那么泼辣的样子之后
After how I behaved,
他告诉我圆顶帐篷不欢迎我的负面能量
I've been told my energy is no longer welcome in the yurt.
她在哪里
Where is she?
你说谁啊
Where is who?
珍妮她本该被禁足
Jenny. She's supposed to be grounded,
但是我去她房♥间查看时她却不在了
but when I went to her room to check on her, she was gone.
反正她没在这里我一下午都在外面
Well, she's not here. I've been out all afternoon.
谁信你的鬼话
I don't think I trust you.