熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S04E09

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:48 p.m.

Teach me.
教我吧
Trav wants to be a player now?
小崔想要成为花♥花♥公♥子♥了
That is just wrong.
那就大错特错了
It's like when Jewel released that pop album.
这就好像珠儿发行的那张流行专辑一样
Be real, girlfriend!
保持真我呗姐们
You have a snaggletooth, and you play acoustic!
你有个爆牙你玩不插电的
Uh, why are you so worried about Travis?
你为什么这么担心崔维斯
All right, let the kid have his fun.
让孩子好好玩吧
Yeah, let the boy tap some.. ass!
是啊让孩子拍点屁♥股♥
sorry. Trying to say "Ass" but in a cool way.
不好意思只是想用一种酷的方式说屁♥股♥
I am dying. Where's Jules?
我要死了茱尔斯哪去了
Landlined.
座机电♥话♥
Hello?
喂
Okay.
好的
Don't you say it.
别说出来
Your friends aren't gonna make it.
你们的朋友来不了了
Should I remove these seats?
我应该把这些椅子搬走吗
Should I remove your nuts?
我应该把你蛋蛋拿走吗
Oh, it's not you.
不是针对你
She's just a horrible person.
她就是一个烂人
Hey, we don't need Jules and Grayson.
我们不需要茱尔斯和格雷森
We have plenty to talk about.
我们有很多话可谈啊
You know, they just invented a realistic sex robot in Japan.
日本发明了一个仿真的做♥爱♥机器人
Lot of talk on the internet
网上很多人在讨论
about whether or not it's cheating.
到底算不算偷腥呢
I'm gonna go to bathroom before I kill myself.
趁我自杀前我要去趟洗手间
What are you doing here?
你在这干嘛呢
I'm in the bathroom. How's it going with your dad?
上厕所你♥爸♥爸怎么样了
Oh, it's awesome.
非常棒
That's how people who won't use crutches get up the stairs.
不用拐杖的人就是那样上楼的
I'm still a man, damn it!
我仍旧是个男人妈的
Jules, I got your test results.
茱尔斯我拿到你的化验结果了
You have a kidney stone.
你得了肾结石
I have only been with Grayson.
我只跟过格雷森
Not an S.T.D.
不是性病
Okay. Well, great. So what now?
那挺好现在怎么办
You'll pass it eventually,
最终会排出来的
but kidney stones are really painful.
但是肾结石非常痛
I birthed Travis' giant square head.
崔维斯的大方头是我生出来的
I think I can handle a tiny stone.
我觉得一小块石头不过是小意思
Besides, I'm fine. The pain's gone.
况且我没事不疼了
That's the thing about stones.
肾结石就是这样的
You can go hours feeling nothing,
你可以几小时没感觉
and then all of a sudden Oh! Oh, God!
然后突然间天啊
oh, this is a big one!
这回真疼
Uh, some of my patients find it soothing if I sing.
我的一些患者在我唱歌♥的时候可以镇静下来
Oh, please don't!
千万不要
**Nobody knows*
*没人理解
**The trouble I've...*
*我的痛苦
Here you go.
给你
J-bird, I don't want to put you out of your own bed.
小猪儿我不想让你没床睡觉
Take a damn nap. I'm fine.
睡一会儿吧我没事
Aah! Help me!
救救我
I can barely feel my feet!
我脚都没知觉了
Come on, now. This is insane.
过来你真是有病
Just tell your dad that you have a kidney stone.
就告诉你♥爸♥你得了肾结石吧
Oh. He'll barely let me take care of him now.
他现在都不太让我照顾他
If he knew I was about to black out in pain, he'd leave.
如果他知道我能疼晕过去他就走了
Wow. I have a more functional relationship with my dad,
还是我和我爸的关系好
And he's dead.
不过他死了
You don't realize how stubborn my dad is.
你不知道我爸有多固执
He doesn't even believe in daylight savings time.
他都不相信日光节约时间区域这事
For six months a year, he's an hour early to everything.
一年里有六个月他什么都提早一小时
Or an hour late.
或者晚一小时
I'm not sure which way it is. Oh.
我不知道到底是哪个
Look, you're just as stubborn as he is.
你和他一样固执
I'm not stubborn. I'm just always right.
我不是固执我只是永远正确
Oh, I get that. I'll be fine, dude,
我懂我没事的伙计们
because what you don't know is,
因为你们不知道的是
window doctor here is about to give me a painkiller shot.
窗户医生要给我来一针止痛
Why haven't we used him like this before?
以前我们怎么没利用他干这个
You'll feel a little prick and then a needle.
你会感到一点刺痛感然后是针管
Doctor humor.
医生幽默
That's why. Mm-hmm.
这就是原因
There it is.
就是这种感觉
Okay, I'm gonna be fine.
好了我会没事的
You go back to work. You go back to your date.
你回去工作你回去约会
well, if I have to deal with the jelly patrol...
如果我不得不面对那帮粘人精
Hit me.
给我来一针
That's fantastic!
太棒了
**It's grease in space*
*宇宙如油脂
**With flying cars*
*到处是飞车
**Getting hickeys from Kenickie on planet Mars*
*在火星上被康纳威留下吻痕
**Grease in space*
*宇宙的油脂
Now let's start class.
现在开始上课
Lesson one: How to get the ladies.
第一课怎样把妹
Let me guess.
让我猜猜
Lie your ass off till the panties hit the floor?
谎要撒到内♥裤♥掉
Whoa! Playa's code...no false promises.
花♥花♥公♥子♥原则切忌虚伪承诺
You just gotta be honest about what you want.
你只需要忠于内心
Like with me, it was no morning cuddles,
拿我来说早上不抱抱
no brunch, ooh, and no leave-behinds.
不吃早午餐还有不能落东西
I will throw those flip-flops right into the trash.
我会直接把那副人字拖扔垃圾桶里
Seriously, that works? Just be honest?
说真的管用吗忠于内心
Yeah, I mean, you gotta throw in a little game. Wow.
是啊你得耍点小手段
What?
咋啦
oh, nothin'. It's just...
没什么就是
I guess I've never really looked at your eyes.
我从来没仔细看过你的眼睛
They are so blue.
蓝汪汪的
Good thing I'm not busy 'cause...
还好我不忙
I don't think I can move until you blink.
你眨眼前我不会离开的
I'm not comfortable with what I'm feeling right now.
我现在感觉很不舒服
What happened to you?
你怎么了
You're harshing my buzz.
你在扫我的兴
We're still debating whether or not
我们还在探讨
boning a robot is cheating.
干一个机器人算不算偷腥
can I get one, please? I'll clean and walk and feed it.
我能买♥♥一个吗我保证给它洗澡遛它喂它吃饭
It won't be cheating. It'll look just like you.
不算是偷腥它会长的跟你一样
Fine. Go nuts.
好吧疯狂去吧
But how would you clean it?
但那玩意要怎么清理啊
I mean, do you just jam it into the dershwersher?
直接塞进洗碗机儿么
Dershwersher?
洗碗机儿
Dershwersher. There.
洗碗机儿没错
Your hair looks... amazing.
你的头发...真漂亮
I don't know what's going on, but I am finding you delightful.
我不知你怎么了但我觉得你特迷人
I'm sorry, all right,
抱歉
but I didn't just fight for our country
但我可不想为国奋战之后
to come back to a place where people sleep with robots.
回到一个人类跟机器人做♥爱♥的地方
What about when you're older
如果你变成老头子
and you can't do it twice a day?
不能一夜十炮了呢
How am I gonna get my cardio?
我该怎么做运动呢
What's the difference between me hopping on the elliptical
我在大球上做运动
or me gettin' my target heart rate up
跟做些蹲起和甩奶之类
by doing a little bump and grind with a beep-boop?
能增加心跳的运动有啥区别呢
You are so funny.
你真逗
Not a great time, Jules.
我说话不方便茱尔斯
The meds wore off.
药效过了
It feels like a porcupine is trying to crawl out of my hoo.
我现在就像试图生下一只豪猪那么疼
Stupid window doctor.
笨蛋窗户医生
Would you jump up and get that remote for me?
你能过去帮我把遥控器拿来吗