熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S06E01

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:58 p.m.

It's beautiful.
太美了
So sweet.
又可爱
So innocent.
又纯洁
So -- Trav, look out!
又...小崔小心呀
Why do you keep doing that?
你为什么总是这么做
Once you and Laurie have a kid,
等你和劳里有了宝宝
you have to be ready for anything.
你要时刻做好准备
Now, if this were a real baby, it would be dead.
如果那是个真的宝宝他就死了
I'd like to think, if it were a real baby,
我觉得如果是真的宝宝
you wouldn't fire it across the room.
你可不会把他甩飞过整个房♥间
Jules, relax.
茱尔斯放松点
This baby is not coming anytime soon.
这个宝宝不会提早来的
I mean, you can't even tell that I'm pregnant yet.
你都看不出来我怀孕了
And the great news is... That's not gonna change.
而更好的消息是一直会保持这样的
Oh, man, that's priceless.
我的天太好笑了
Every first timer thinks
每个准妈妈都觉得
that somehow she'll defy the odds and keep her figure.
她能是那个万中无一可以保持身材的
By the time month eight rolls around...
等到第八个月来的时候...
Fe, fi, fo, fum. What? Fat.
咚咚咚什么东西呀大胖子
Even pregnant, the Keller girls always hang on to their bods.
就算怀孕凯勒家的女人都不会长胖
Okay, my cousin Tina kept it so tight,
我的表亲蒂娜一直保持着身材
she didn't even know she was knocked up
完全没发现自己怀孕了
until she dropped a set of trips
结果在电影院排队买♥♥零食的时候
in the movie-theater snack line,
掉出来几个娃
hence their names Mike, Ike, and Goobers.
所以他们叫棉花糖糖和花生米
All right.
好了
10 bucks a head says that, by month eight,
每人十块钱赌我八个月的时候
I am still rocking these tight-ass dresses.
还能穿上这些紧身裙
i hate everything!
我恨死所有的东西了
Whatever.
随便啦
No way! I miss you more.
不可能我更想你
Is he talking to Bobby?
他在跟鲍比打电♥话♥吗
Blue polo, really cool shorts.
蓝色保罗衫很帅的短裤
What are you wearing?
你穿什么呢
Either that or he's having an affair.
不是这样他就是在找小三
Please let it be an affair.
求求他找小三吧
Bobby says "Hey" From Georgia.
鲍比从乔治亚州向大家问好
He's doing really great in this golf tournament.
他在高尔夫联赛里打得很棒
Yesterday, he hit three birdies.
昨天他打了三个小鸟球
He meant the golf kind, right?
他是说高尔夫的术语吧
Here comes the lovely mom-to-be.
美丽的准妈妈来啦
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
你什么意思啊
You look beautiful.
你看起来美极了
You have a radiant glow, almost an angelic --
你有一种容光焕发的光辉就像天使般
Baby socks filled with nickels.
塞满硬币的婴儿袜
It's my go-to weapon from juvie.
这是我少管所的称手兵器
These are gonna be hitting the faces
谁敢惹毛我
of anyone who pisses me off.
我就要他好看
Being pregnant sucks!
怀孕太讨厌了
I'm gassy. I'm bloated.
又一直放屁又全身浮肿
Honey, you just got to focus on the finish.
亲爱的你只要想着快结束了
You only have one more month.
你只要再撑一个月
Just four little weeks,
小小的四周
29 days, 696 hours, 41,000 --
29天 696小时 41000
I remember when you were just a wee scamp.
我记得你当年还是个调皮鬼
And soon, you'll be a dad.
而现在你就要当爸爸了
Who's all grown up?
谁长大了呀
You're all grown up! Ooh!
你长大了呀
Grayson, I bet you look good in black.
格雷森我猜你穿黑色会很帅
Feels like a safe bet.
猜得很准呢
Brand-new italian leather.
全新意大利皮革
Got it for me, but, uh, it's a little big.
给自己买♥♥的但太大了
Probably wondering why I bought that.
你可能在想我为什么要买♥♥这个
Allow me to explain.
让我解释一下吧
Just tell your stupid story, tom.
汤姆你就快点说吧
I was feeling stagnant.
我感觉我停滞不前了
Wanted a new twist on "Classic" Tom.
想给典型的汤姆增加一点新鲜感
so I tried a couple new looks,
所以我买♥♥了几件衣服
worked up a scottish brogue.
学了点苏格兰口音
even briefly flirted with a fu-manchu.
甚至跟一个黄种胡须男调了会儿情
Then I realized what new Tom really needed.
然后我才意识到新汤姆需要什么
Bacon?
培根
A pet pig.
宠物猪
I got the idea from George Clooney.
我是从乔治·克鲁尼得到灵感的
I call him "Sniglet."
我要叫他小崽崽
Sniglet the piglet.
小崽崽小猪仔
Don't act like it's not adorable.
不要表现得好像它不够可爱一样
Plus, I-I remodeled my garage to this cool bar setup,
我还把车♥库♥改良成了一个吧台
so I figure we'll hang out here all the time.
我觉得我们能够经常来这玩
I'm leaving, and I'm never coming back.
我要走了而且再也不会回来
Was that expensive?
很贵吗
Uh, very.
非常贵
You're not very good with your hands, are you?
你的手不太听使唤是吧
No, my t-ball coach diagnosed me
是啊儿童棒球教练说我是
with a terminal case of the dropsies.
握不住东西的晚期患者
Why?
怎么了
A month from now, you're gonna be holding
一个月之后你会抱着一个
a fragile infant life in your hands.
脆弱的小生命
Do you think it's gonna be a problem?
你觉得这会是个问题吗
Babies' heads are soft.
婴儿的头很软啊
So hot, and there's nowhere to sit.
太热了而且根本没地方坐
Why'd you make me come here, Jules?
你为什么要让我来这茱尔斯
To show you something.
让你看个东西
You know, Laurie, there are a thousand terrible things about being super pregnant,
劳里挺着大肚子有无数糟糕的地方
but there's also one amazing thing.
但是也有一件很棒的事情哦
Now, when a woman has this, she can do anything.
当一个女人♥大♥肚子她就无往不利
Ellie!
艾莉
Show her how a pregnant woman gets a table.
让她看看孕妇是怎么找到位置的
Oh, no. Ohh.
不好意思
Ohh. I'm sorry. I'm pregnant.
抱歉我怀孕了
Oh, my gosh! That was amazing.
我的天呐太厉害了
Ow. I can do stuff like that?
我可以这么做吗
When I was super pregnant,
当我身怀六甲的时候
I used to just walk into strangers' houses
我经常去陌生人的家里
and take stuff.
拿东西
I broke into a Little Debbie truck,
我闯进了一辆小黛比食品货车
ate my weight in nutty bars,
把坚果棒都吃光了
and fell asleep on some zebra cakes.
还在一个斑马蛋糕上睡着了
Oh, I'm sorry.
抱歉
I -- I'm really, really pregnant.
我我怀着孕呢
Yeah.
谢了
This is amazing!
这太棒了
Imaginary hat.
虚幻帽子[向你致敬]
Imaginary maracas.
虚幻沙球
W-what are we doing?
我们干吗呢这是
So dumb.
太傻了
"The hulk isn't strong enough to beat up superman.
"绿巨人不能打败超人
But two hulks? Perhaps."
但若有两个绿巨人也许能赢"
Those are your thoughts.
你在想这些对吧
'Cause you're a nerd.
因为你是个宅男
Hey, what is it?
有什么心事呢
Can I be trusted with a kid?
我能带好孩子吗
What are you talking about?
你说什么呢
I'm a total goof.
我是个大呆瓜
Crap reflexes, clumsy hands, zero coordination.
反应慢粗手粗脚手脚不协调
I'll clean that.
我会收拾干净的
I actually get it.
其实我懂你的担忧
I remember the first time I held my daughter.
我记得我第一次抱住我女儿的时候
Yes, I have a daughter. I found out three years ago.
没错我有个女儿三年前发现的
Her name is Tampa. How come no one remembers that?
她叫坦帕咋就没人记得呢