大嘴巴（2017）

Big Mouth S03E01

Part 5 Oct. 9, 2020, 10:52 a.m.

Because your breath smells like pussy. - I heard that!
因为你的口气闻起来像女人的下♥体♥
And not yet!
我听见了还没准备好
Ta-da! -Ah, Jay-Jay, this is so romantic!
请看 -杰伊这也太浪漫了
Wait until you taste my flambé dessert.
你还没尝到我火♥辣♥辣的甜品呢
I made it from stuff I found around the house.
我用家里能找到的东西做的
You're so 40 and such a magician.
你真像个40岁的男人也很懂得变魔术
Come here, let's make your magic wand disappear.
过来我们把你的“魔术棒”变消失吧
I mean, that's not how magic works, but yeah, yeah, yeah, you kinda get it.
魔术不是这么回事但也差不多是那么回事
I can't believe I'm lifting with my dick out.
没想到我能在勃起的状况下举重
God, I'm sorry. Can you excuse me for one moment, please?
不好意思失陪一下
Hey! -Nice activewear, bro.
嗨 -老兄你这身运动装真好看
You could kill someone with that body. - Yeah?
这身材足以要人命
Hell, yeah.
是吗？ -没错
Your natural goaty musk mixed with the metal tang of these kettlebells
你身体所散发出的膻味加上壶铃所散发出的金属味
is making mexa0loony tunes.
让我陷入疯狂
Well, I uh, didn't shower today.
我今天没洗澡
That's my Valentine's present to you.
这就是我送你的情人节礼物
You spoil me, bro.
老兄你这是在宠我啊
Come on, buddy, let's get some reps in. I'll spot you.
小兔子事不宜迟我们开始做吧我会看着你的
Whoopsie daisy! My hymen grew back!
小宝贝我的处♥女♥膜复合了
Isn't anyone gonna come and pop it?
谁可以来把它捅破呢？
Brad, I need like two seconds, okay? Can you just sit tight for a second?
布兰德等我一下可以吗？你暂时坐着别动
Consider me clenched, bro. - boy.
老兄我憋得可紧了 -天啊
I'm tight like a wallet. -What?
就像钱包 -什么？
I'm like a little Velcro wallet, I'm so tight.
像魔术贴扣合的钱包好紧啊
like the one I got on vacation last year?
像那个去年度假买♥♥的钱包？
Yeah. Yeah, at Busch Gardens.
对在布希花♥园♥买♥♥的
Okay, wait a minute, what am I doing? I gotta go.
慢着我在干什么？我该走了
Barbara! For the love of God, would you hurry up?!
芭芭拉看在丘比特的名上你能不能快点？
I gotta be home by eight.
我得赶在8点前回到家
The Knicks are playing, and I wanna watch 'em lose!
今晚尼克斯队比赛我一定要见证他们失败
Okay, just calm down. -What do you want, huh?
行了冷静一点 -你到底想要什么？
You want money? You want cold hard cash? ?
你想要钱吗？你想要花绿绿的钞票对吧？
Come on, Barbara! -Stop it, Marty!
芭芭拉别装了 -够了马尔蒂
I will pay you to put your jacket on.
为了让你赶紧换好衣服我不介意给你钱
Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie.
亲爱的情人节快乐
We'll be back in an hour! -Forty-five minutes!
我们一小时后就回来了 -是45分钟
God.
天啊
Am I becoming my dad?
我是不是越来越像我爸了？
Check your balls. Are they gigantic like his?
看看你的肉♥棒♥ 跟他的一样雄伟吗？
Okay, let's notBecause his sack,
算了 -他那话儿
it looks like a plastic bag of frozen turkeys
就像是一袋冷藏火鸡
with a penis head drawn on it.
上面插着一根肉♥棒♥
Yes, I remember. -I see it at night when I close my eyes.
我记得 -我晚上闭上眼睛都会想起来
What can I get for you lovely ladies this evening?
你们今晚想点什么？
Yes, I'd like a female-prepared tempeh steak with truffle sauce.
给我来一份女厨特制的丹贝牛排
yes.
配上松茸酱太棒了
Someone was rooting around for my truffles this morning.
今早有人在我的“松茸”上流连
All right, I'll come back with some water.
我去拿两杯水过来
So, Nicky, we got you a little something for Valentine's Day.
小尼克我们为你准备了一份情人节礼物
No, that's fine. II don't need anything from you guys.
没关系你们没必要送我情人节礼物
come on! -No, it's really okay.
别这样 -我真的不介意
I've been warming it up for you.
我给你暖过了
There you go.
送给你的 -天啊
you got me a basketball necklace.
这是一个篮球造型的项链坠子
A basketball locket. -Come on, honey. Look inside.
是个篮球造型的小盒 -快开来看宝贝
God, okay.
天啊好吧
See? So we can always be close to your heart.
看见了吧？我们希望能永远靠近你的心
I can't believe we ended up in the same restaurant
没想到我们居然在餐厅里
as my mom and Cantor Dina.
遇到我妈和康托迪娜
I bet Dina rolls her own tampons and has super dirty feet.
我相信迪娜只用自己做的卫生棉条而且她的脚肯定很脏
Dude, they're so gross. She won't wear shoes.
天啊她的脚很恶心毕竟她不爱穿鞋
I watched her pick up a scarf with her bare foot and put it in a drawer.
我看过她用脚趾夹起领巾放进抽屉里
I bet she's, like, so vocal at yoga.
我相信她上瑜伽课时肯定叫得很大声
Yeah, she lets it all out. -And so loud when she eats your mom out.
对她都释放出来… -她操♥你♥妈♥时肯定也叫得很大声
Matthew! -I'm sorry.
马修 -对不起
It's upsetting because it's really true.
令我难过的是这的确是事实
I heard them doing it this morning. - no! Honey, come here.
我今早听见她们做那回事 -亲爱的过来抱一个
It's so fucked up you had to hear that. -Thank you so much, Matthew.
你被逼听她们做♥爱♥ 我为你感到难过 -多谢你的安慰马修
I love hanging out with you.
跟你在一起很开心
Jessi, I feel the same way about you. -You do?
杰茜我也是 -真的吗？
Let's sing a song about it. -Okay.
我们来为这一刻唱一首歌♥吧 -好啊
♪ Some boys will bring you flowers ♪
有的男生会送花给你
♪ Some will even serenadexa0♪
有的男生会在窗户外唱歌♥
♪ But you and me Will while away the hours ♪
但我和你相处时
♪ Just a-dishin' and a-throwin' shadexa0♪
就爱胡言乱语、说三道四
♪ Forever side-by-side Through snark and snidexa0♪
我们肩并肩永不分离说东道西夸夸其谈
♪ I'm stuck to you like gluexa0♪
我们如胶似漆
♪ So, honey, who needs ♪
亲爱的有了你
♪ Who needs a boy when I got you? ♪
我还需要其他男生吗？
♪ And I never expect you To hold me tight ♪
你不会把我拴得紧紧的
♪ And lock me in your lovin' gazexa0♪
也不会用充满爱慕的眼神望着我
♪ But I know I'll have A shoulder to cry on ♪
但我知道你会在必要的时候借我肩膀
♪ That is, if I were inclined To such pathetic displaysxa0♪
尤其当我表现出一副可怜兮兮的样子时
♪ Guys may come and guys may goxa0♪
男人来来去去
♪ And we'll size 'em up in half a glancexa0♪
犹如过眼云烟
♪ Say, Maury These kids got some chemistry ♪
毛瑞这两个孩子蛮般配的
♪ Nope, she'll never get into his pantsxa0♪
不可能她不可能跟他上♥床♥的
Sorry.
不好意思
♪ Maybe someday we'll find true lovexa0♪
或许我们有朝一日会找到真爱
♪ And drift apart like friends will doxa0♪
像一般友情一样渐行渐远
♪ But till then ♪ -♪ Who needs a boyxa0♪
但在那之前 -谁需要男生呢？
♪ Some moron that soon will annoyxa0♪
男生都是合久生厌的笨蛋
♪ I ask ya ♪ ♪ Who needs a boy ♪
我问谁需要男生呢？
♪ When I got you?xa0♪
反正我有你了
And I thought you didn't want to sing.
我以为你不想唱歌♥呢
Yeah, I didn't. You booked a voice double for me.
我本来不想的谁让你为我预留了合唱的空间
I did, didn't I? -You really get me.
我想是吧 -我是着了你的道
Honestly, and don't crucify me for this,
说真的别因为这事把我定罪了
but I'm kind of impressed by your mom. -What? Why?
不过我还挺佩服你♥妈♥的♥
Well, it's hard enough to question your sexuality in middle school,
什么？为什么？ -在中学时期质疑自己的性倾向已经不容易了
but to do it in your sixties? - my mom is 43.
但她在60岁后才开始质疑 -其实我妈才43岁
Yeah.
原来如此 -对
Either way, everyone deserves a chance at love, Jessi.
无论如何每个人都值得好好爱一回 -我想是吧
. I guess. -Even your dried-out old mom.
即便是你那个干涸的老妈
Ta-da!
吓一跳吧
Jay! I need you to sit on my back with your bare ass!
杰伊我要你坐在我的背上要光着屁♥股♥啊
69
Sixty-nine...
Jay! -Sixty-nine...
杰伊 -69
I need you to saw me in half with your 40-year-oldxa0schvantz!
我要你用你那根 40年悠久的肉♥棒♥把我切成一半
Fressure! Fressure! Fressure... Fressure...
压力…
Jay is feeling too much pressure.
杰伊的压力太大了
Ah! Help! Jay, help me!
救救我杰伊
Ah! my God! -I'm on fire!
天啊 -我冒火了
shit! -The flambé!
糟了 -我头上有一团火
What do I do? -Put me out with your cum! Obviously!
我该怎么办？ -当然是用你的精♥液♥来浇熄这团火啊
no! I'm out of Jay juice!
糟了 “杰伊液”没了
What the hell's going on in here?
这里到底是什么状况？
Bro! Ow, bro!
老兄 -疼啊
that's it! I can't do this anymore!
够了我做不下去了
What are you saying, Jay? -I've hurt you both,
杰伊你在说什么？ -我让你们俩受到伤害
and even worse, I'm blowin' air wads. I'm out.
更糟糕的是我只能射出空气
So, you're dumping us on Valentine's Day?
我不玩了 -你居然在情人节甩掉我们？
I just think I have to take a break.
我只是想休息一下
AA sex break. -Whoa.
休息不做♥爱♥？ -天啊
I just need some time alone
我想自己一个人静一静
to collect my thoughts and figure out who the fuck I am.
反覆沉思想想到底是谁
Bro, you expect me to go cold turkey on that spicy beef jerky?
老兄你打算冷落我吗？
I'm sorry.
对不起
I've got nothing left to jizz.
我已经射不出什么来了