大嘴巴（2017）

Big Mouth S03E08

Part 3 Oct. 9, 2020, 10:54 a.m.

嗯吉娜这个情况挺有趣的
Wait, babe, I can't... I can't find you on the list.
等等宝贝我在名单上找不到你
I'm number 13. -What?
我是第13名 -什么？
You have to... scroll down.
你必须…向下滑动
Hey, Lump, bro, uh, why didn't you put Devin on your list?
嘿拉普兄弟你干嘛不把德文加入名单呢？
She just doesn't do it for me. -What? What does that mean?
她也没加我啊 -那是什么意思？
Sorry I'm not into your wife. -Hey man, we're not married yet.
抱歉我对你老婆没兴趣 -哥们我们还没结婚呢
So, I see that Charles Lu is your number one.
我看到查尔斯刘是你的第一名
Yeah. -Interesting.
是的 -有意思
He's a great athlete and he's super nice.
他是个很出色的运动员人也很好
Nice? How can we know? He barely speaks.
人好吗？我们怎么知道？他很少讲话
What do you care, anyway? Ali's your number one.
关你什么事？阿丽是你的第一位
So, you looked at my list?
那么你看了我的名单？
Interesting. -I might've glanced.
有意思 -我可能瞄了一眼
Well, you might be intrigued to see who's gonna be at the top of my list
你可能会好奇谁在我的名单上排名前列
as soon as I get somewhere with Wi-Fi.
只要我有无线网络
Is that so?
是这样吗？
That's right, I'm going to the Holiday Inn at lunch.
没错我午餐会去假日酒店
Wow. -And that means
哇 -那意味着
I'm walkin' on the highway, baby.
我要走在高速公路上呢宝贝
I'm gonna be scared as shit. -Okay.
我会被吓死的 -好的
And that's how the algorithm works.
这就是算法的工作原理
Caleb, you have a beautiful mind.
凯乐布你的头脑真灵光
Breaking news!
爆♥炸♥新闻！
I have a sick-ass announcement.
我有个超劲爆的消息
Jay. This is a closed set. -I jack down to girls and boys.
杰伊这是封闭式广播 -我对男女一视同仁
I, Jay Bilzerian...
本人杰伊比瑟瑞恩…
am bisexual!
是双性恋！
Here you go, Matthew, my new official fuck list.
给你马修我新的正式约炮名单
Ali. ...hm. -Gina. -Boobs.
阿丽吉娜 -嗯胸很大
And Charles Lu. -I'm sorry to throw everything into chaos,
和查尔斯刘 -我很抱歉把事情都搞乱了
but everybody can start adjusting your lists now,
但诸位现在可以开始调整名单了
because I wanna fuck everyone.
因为我想操所有人
We have got to put a delay on these broadcasts.
我们得推迟这些节目播送
Well, that was fun, that was good today.
挺有趣的今天挺好的
I don't know if you heard any of what I just said,
不知道你听到我说的话了没有
but, uh, pretty sweet I'm bi, huh?
不过我是双性恋xa0挺可爱的吧？
honey, you can just say you're a top, you don't have to say you're bi.
你可以说你是个同性恋不必说自己是双性恋
What? -Hm, how do I say this?
什么？ -我要怎么说呢？
Usually, when a guy comes out as bi, he's just making a rest stop
通常一个男人作为双性恋出柜时他只是中场休息
on his way to Gay Town.
迟早会到基友镇
Gay Town sounds fun,
基友镇听着很好玩
but I have thought a lot about it, and I belong in Biami.
但我想了很多我还是属于双斯敦
Biami is not a real place. -See, Caleb gets it.
双斯敦不是一个真实的地方 -瞧凯乐布就知道
Hey, hey! So?
嘿怎么样？
What? -What about my big news?
啥？ -我的大新闻怎么样？
that you're bi?
你是双吗？
Yeah, we just assumed that was a ploy for attention.
我们就当你是求关注了
What? No way!
什么？不可能
Seriously, guys, I'm bisexual.
二位我认真的我是双性恋
okay. -Good for you.
哦 -挺好
Congratulations. -More like conflatulations.
恭喜 -更像是臭屁
Mazel-toot.
好运的放气声
Yeah, we're, we're pretty uncomfortable with this.
让我们挺不自在的
No judgment, bi's... bi's weird.
我不作评判但双很诡异
You guys suck. When you heard that Ali was into guys and girls,
你们真烂你们听说阿丽男女通吃的时候
you thought it was so cool.
就觉得好酷
Because in her case, it is.
因为就她而言却是很酷
I mean, Ali has very smooth, porcelain skin.
阿丽的肌肤像瓷器般光滑细腻
She's number one on my skin list. -Okay, easy, Hannibal Lecter.
她在我的肌肤名单中排行第一 -好吧悠着点汉尼拔
I wish you could take skin off a person but they'd still be alive.
我希望你能剥掉一个人的皮还能让这个人活着
I guess what Andrew's trying to say is
我猜安德鲁想表达的是
bisexuality just feels different for boys than girls.
双性恋这回事男女有别
Well, that's totally fucked!
这太扯了！
Yeah, man, you're right, it's a double standard.
是啊哥们你说得对这是双重标准
But standing here with you half-naked, ah, I'm a little uncomfortable.
不过半裸地跟你站在这里让我有点不自在
Andrew you just exposed your full dick.
安德鲁你露出整个老二了
good Lord. -So... are you, like, into either of us?
老天爷啊 -那么你喜欢我们当中的哪个吗？
What? Eww, no, not you.
什么哎呀没有不喜欢你
Mayb, Andrew, I don't know.
安德鲁有可能吧我不知道
You'd rather hook up with him?
你宁可跟他勾搭？
Nick, you cannot catch a break.
尼克打击接踵而至啊
I don't wanna hook up with either of you ass potatoes.
我才不想跟你们两个傻帽勾搭
You're not even on my list.
你们都不在我的名单上
My number one guy is Charles Lu.
我的首选是查尔斯刘
Sorry dude, I'm straight. - now you have something to say.
抱歉哥们我是直男 -你这下非要说话了
You guys can all suck my dick,
你们全都可以吸我的老二
but not in the way I'd like!
但都不是我喜欢的方式
How do you like it? -Like... Like... Like...
你喜欢什么方式？ -比如…
like everybody likes their dick sucked, with teeth.
就想大家喜欢的那种方式用牙齿吸
this is impossible.
完全排不出来
See, I like Devin's hair and Ali's glasses,
我喜欢德文的头发阿丽的眼镜
but I like Gina's boobs and Lola's relentless front rubbing.
但我喜欢吉娜的胸部和萝拉前胸无情的摩擦
But... but... how can I make just one list?
怎么才能做一份名单？
Andrew, I've done it. -Ah! Frightening.
安德鲁我做到了令人闻风丧胆
Done what? -Peegor!
做到什么了？ -鸡哥儿
Remove the cover. -Yes, monster.
去掉被子 -遵命大恶魔
It's alive! It's alive!
它活了
What the hell is that?
这是什么鬼东西？
It's your perfect woman.
这是你的完美女人
Good God, Maury, have you no respect for nature?
我的天啊毛瑞你毫不尊重自然吗？
Her face is tits.
她的脸就是乳♥房♥♥
Gina's tits. -I've truly thought of everything.
吉娜的乳♥房♥♥ 我真的考虑到一切了
Well, I hate it. It's disgusting. It's blasphemous.
我讨厌这个好恶心真是亵渎神明
But she's got all the parts you love.
但她拥有你爱的所有部位
Missy's smile, Diane's hands, and her vagina, it's Leah's butt.
蜜茜的笑容黛安的手和她的阴♥道♥ 莉亚的屁♥股♥
I also gave her two cup holders.
我还给她装了两个杯座
Ooh, look, she's really taken to Peegor.
瞧啊她真的喜欢鸡哥儿
Jesus Christ, fuck.
老天爷啊我靠
No! Peegor! I mourn you.
不鸡哥儿我为你哀悼
But, truthfully, he was not a very good assistant.
不过说真的他也不是个很出色的主力
Just write stuff down, you know?
把事情写下来吧
I can't believe I'm ranked so low.
不敢相信我排名这么靠后
You're below Lola Skumpy? This is bullshit.
你在萝拉斯康皮后面这太扯了
Wait, what the hell?
等等什么鬼？
Gina took me off her list completely?
吉娜彻底把我从名单中删除了？
What the fuck is goin' on?
他妈的出什么事了？
It's these goddamn lists. -Damn right.
都怪这些该死的名单 -太对了
They're making everybody feel shitty. -Darn tootin'.
它们让大家感觉好糟糕该死
Why don't any of the boys like me?
为什么没有男生喜欢我？
How come none of the girls like me?
-为什么没有女生喜欢我？
I don't get it, you're great.
我不明白你很棒啊
I think so.
我也觉得
I mean...
我是说
♪ I got charm and wit, I'm all funny and shit ♪
我聪明有魅力搞笑又傻屌♥
♪ But I guess that's not enough ♪
但看来这些不够好
♪ I got brains and sass Comin' out of my ass ♪
我轻轻松松就有脑又时髦
♪ But I can only act so tough ♪
但我只能装出强悍的面貌
♪ I thought the nice guy got The girl in the end ♪
我以为好人都能抱得美人归
♪ Who'd have guessed all the movies lie? ♪
没想到电影都是在骗鬼
♪ I must have traded my heart For funny and smart ♪
我肯定把心换成了有趣和聪明
♪ Now I'm all alone till I die ♪
现在我成为天煞孤星
♪ So tell me why, why does nobody get How great I am? ♪
告诉我为什么为什么没人明白我多么好
♪ I got it all goin' on But the world doesn't seem to understand ♪
我把一切都安排好了但世界似乎并不理解
♪ In this endless sea Of chumps and fools ♪
在这充满笨蛋和傻瓜的无尽海洋里
♪ Well, they oughta be crown' me the king of cool ♪
我们这样的人应该被加冕为酷王之王
♪ So why, why, why does nobody get it? ♪
所以为什么没人能懂
♪ Someday, babies, the clouds will part ♪
宝贝总有一天你会守得云开见月明
♪ The world will take notice And your life will start ♪
世界会关注你你的人生就开始了
♪ Your talent will shine Your dick will grow ♪
你的才华会发光
♪ You'll be the belle of the ball And the star of the show ♪