大嘴巴（2017）

Big Mouth S03E05

Part 1 Oct. 9, 2020, 10:53 a.m.

Let's go! Let's go! We're already late!
咱们走！我们已经迟到了！
It's 7:01.
7点01分了
Yeah, and he said 7:00. Let's go.
嗯他说了7点咱们走
It's spring break, it's supposed to be relaxing.
这是春假应该放松才对
Marty Glouberman doesn't relax. The man eats on the toilet to save time.
马蒂高博曼不会放松的那家伙为了省时间在厕所边吃边拉
Jesus, Connie, what did you pack in here?
天啊康妮你这里面装了些什么？
I didn't know what to bring. -It's Florida, baby.
我不知道要带什么 -那是佛罗里达啊宝贝
The only time you don't wear a bathing suit is to a funeral.
只有去葬礼才不♥穿♥泳衣
And even then, it depends on who died.
即便如此也得看死的是谁
No one is dying, Maury.
毛瑞没人要死
Honestly, I've never been to Florida and not watched someone die.
说实话每次去佛罗里达都有人死
Luckily, I've brought a grieving Speedo.
所幸我带了条哀悼款泳裤
My condolences.
节哀顺变
Thanks again for taking him, Barbara.
再次感谢你能带他芭芭拉
You know, Nick is going through a real, um...
尼克正在经历一个非常…
asshole phase.
捣蛋的阶段
then he'll fit right in with the Glouber-men.
那他跟高博曼就会很合得来
I'm getting flop sweats just thinking about all that testosterone
一想到那些睾酮和齐肩短发
and shoulder hair.
我就会汗流浃背
Do you want a couple Xanax?
你想要几片赞安诺吗？
I kissed a few into Elliot's mouth this morning for his separation anxiety.
我今天用嘴给艾略特喂了几片因为他有分离焦虑症
I'm just gonna miss him so much.
我会好想他的
You can stop honking now, Dad.
老爸你现在可以别按喇叭了
I'll stop when we're in Florida! -
到了佛罗里达的时候我就不按了
Argh! Come on, come on! We already know who's in the show!
啊！快点我们已经知道谁上这个节目了！
What is that, a sperm? Disgusting!
那是什么一条精♥子♥吗？好恶心！
Skip the intro already, would ya? We don't have time!
跳过开场曲好吗？我们没空！
Mantzoukas? Too many letters.
曼特祖卡斯？字太多了
Ugh, who is watchin' this garbage?
唉谁会看这个破玩意啊？
The neo-Nazi trolls on YouTube are right,
视频网站上的新纳粹喷子是对的
this show is disgusting!
这部剧好恶心！
You know who had a good intro song?
你知道哪部剧的开场曲好听吗？
Two and a Half Men. They got right to the point.
《好汉两个半》他们开门见山
♪ Men! ♪ Come on, already!
要命啊！快点！
Let's literally get this show on the road.
咱们赶紧播正片吧
Now, that's funny.
挺好玩的
They should put that in the show.
他们应该把那段放进剧中
What is this Seder thing again?
这个逾越节家宴是什么来着？
Nicola, you don't know?
尼古拉斯你不知道吗？
I'm kidding. It's just this long, boring dinner
我开玩笑的就是一顿漫长又无聊的晚餐
with my angry grandpa and my lame cousin, Cheryl.
跟我怒气冲冲的爷爷和差劲的堂妹雪柔一起
Cheryl's such a baby.
雪柔太幼稚了
She makes us play My Little Pony.
她让我们玩《彩虹小马》
We wanna play big-boy stuff like baseball cards and Mad Libs!
我们想玩大男孩的游戏比如棒球卡和疯狂填词！
Andrew, the Seder is when we tell the story of Passover,
安德鲁我们会在逾越节家宴中讲述逾越节的故事
the one time our people did the screwing!
那次是我们的人下了狠手！
here we go.
又来了
We were Pharaoh's slaves, forced to do all sorts of labor,
我们是法老的奴隶被迫做各种各样的劳动
unlike Andrew, who could barely use a Swiffer WetJet!
不像安德鲁连喷湿拖把都不会用！
It is not as intuitive as it looks.
它不像外表那么直观
One day, God turned Himself into a burning bush.
有一天上帝变身一从燃烧的灌木
I had that before.
我也有过这种感觉
And he tells Moses, "Get outta Egypt already!"
他告诉摩西：“赶紧离开埃及！”
But the Pharaoh, he won't let him go.
但是法老不让他走
So, God hits 'em with ten plagues. -
所以上帝用十种灾害进攻他们
Locusts, hail, and finally, the big one...
蝗虫冰雹最后发大招了…
My firstborn penis. Why, God? Why?
我的阴♥茎♥长子为什么上帝？为什么？
'Cause you didn't paint the lamb's blood above the door like I told you.
因为你没有听我的话把羊血涂在门上面
I don't like chores.
我不喜欢做家务
Pharaoh said, "Scram," so we had to get out fast.
法老说：“快滚” 所以我们必须赶紧离开
but I'm waiting for the bread to rise.
但我得等到面包发酵起来
It's 7:01! Just make it matzo!
都7点01分了！做成无酵饼好了！
Then this Pharaoh Schlemiel, he changes his mind,
然后这个倒霉的二货法老变卦了
but God had one more trick up his sleeve.
但上帝还有一招
He parts the Red Sea.
他分开了红海
Great, three-drachma leather sandals ruined.
这下好了三双德拉克马皮凉鞋毁了
And then what, they just went to Israel?
然后呢他们直接去了以色列？
No, they spent 40 years in the desert
没有他们在沙漠里待了四十年
'cause they didn't know how to make good time.
因为他们不知道怎样过好日子
Marty, it's sweltering.Please turn on the AC.
马蒂好闷热请打开空调吧
What, are you crazy? I'm gettin' great gas mileage.
你疯了吗我特别省油呢
Andrew, blow on your mother.
安德鲁给你妈吹吹
He doesn't know how to blow cool air. He snorts!
他不知道怎么吹凉风他只会喷鼻息
It's true, Nick, I only know how to exhale through my nose.
是的尼克我只知道用鼻子出气
No, I did it again. -
不行我再试过了
What the...
搞什么…
The change is coming, Barbara.
改变要发生了芭芭拉
How does she know my name?
她怎么知道我的名字？
Mr. Glouberman, I'm starving.
高博曼先生我饿了
Where do you see us stopping for lunch? -
你觉得我们该在哪里停车午饭？
We've got wet salami sandwiches in tinfoil,
我们有锡纸包的萨拉米三明治
a thermos of clam chowder,
保温瓶装了一份蛤蜊浓汤
and some Chex Mix in an old Band-Aid box. Help yourself.
老创可贴盒子里还有些混合谷物片你随便吃
Can we at least stop to go to the bathroom?
咱们可以停车去一下洗手间吗？
We stop when I need gas.
我要加油的时候再停车
Until then, you're more than welcome to finish the chowder
在那之前你可以喝完浓汤
and pee in the thermos.
然后尿在保温瓶里
And it's hard to aim into the thermos!
很难尿进保温瓶的
What? It's huge, the thermos. -Yeah, just try.
什么？保温瓶挺大的啊 -你尽管试试
no! There's a fire!
糟糕！起火了！
Val! Kurt! Mom, Dad!
瓦尔！科特！妈爸！
Where are you guys? We gotta get outta here!
你们在哪里？我们得离开这里！
Whoa, did someone gift-wrap our house?
有人把我们屋子当礼品包起来了吗？
I'm a present for a giant.
我是送给巨人的礼物
Holy shit! There was a kid in there!
天啊！里面还有个小孩！
What? The whole family should be on spring break.
什么？他们全家都应该去过春假的
They Home Alone'd me? Classic Bilzerian move.
我是留守儿童？典型的比瑟瑞恩做派
Did they, uh... Did they say when they'd be back?
他们…有没有说过什么时候回来？
You're in luck, Mr. Too Good to Piss in a Thermos.
你走运了 “不屑于尿在保温瓶”先生
I need gas. - thank God!
我需要汽油 -谢天谢地！
I got a salami and clam chowder poop that's backed up to my throat.
我的萨拉米和蛤蜊浓汤的大便都顶到我的喉咙了
God, look at the prices.
天看那个价格
Now, you listen to me, Nick. We have exactly the amount of time
听着尼克我们有的时间
it takes my dad to fill his gas tank, or he will leave without us.
就是在我爸加满油之前否则他会扔下我们
No child left behind. -No child left behind. Let's do this!
不丢下小孩 -不丢下小孩咱们动手吧！
Okay. Jesus Christ, there's so much blood.
天啊好多血
just shit on the blood. I'll piss into the sink.
直接在血上拉屎吧我在水槽里撒尿
I'm lookin' around, I'm seein' hair dye and a razor.
我在查看四周看到染发剂和剃须刀
I think someone got shot and changed their identity in here.
我觉得有人中枪了然后在这改换了身份
Let's go!
快拉屎！
There's a half-eaten ice-cream sandwich.
还有个吃掉一半的冰激凌三明治
Andrew! -God.
-安德鲁！ -天啊
He let his guard down for one second and they got him, Nick.
他稍稍放松警惕就被♥干♥掉了尼克
What? all of a sudden, I can't go.
什么？ -我突然不能走了
Andrew!
安德鲁！
Psst. The change is coming.
改变要发生了
What change?
什么改变？
What are you talking about?
你在说什么？
You finish up in here, I'm gonna go get a snack.
好的你继续完事我去买♥♥点零食
Sh! Don't talk, it's finally coming out.
别说话终于要出来了
That's gonna cost you.
很贵哟
What? -A high five, my dude.
什么？ -击掌老弟
Coach Steve?
史蒂夫教练？
I'm actually North Carolina Gas Station Attendant Coach Steve now.
我现在其实是北卡罗莱纳加油站服务员史蒂夫教练
We don't have time for a Coach Steve bit!
我们没时间跟史蒂夫教练说话了！
We're movin' out! -I gotta go.
我们要走了！ -我得走了
I flushed, and the blood sprayed my tushy!
我冲水了血液溅到我屁♥股♥上了
It's okay, Andrew. We'll give you a Handi Wipe in the car.
没事的安德鲁我们在车里给你用湿巾擦掉
Come on, jump! -Okay.
快点跳啊！ -好的
Andrew! Careful with my precious door.
安德鲁当心我昂贵的车门