大嘴巴（2017）

我在谁的名单上吗？
Don't care if I am or I'm not, just wanna know for the record.
不在乎我上没上 只是想知道结果
Nope, you didn't make anyone's. hm. -hm.
没有 你不在任何人的名单上 -唔
But that's a good thing, right? -Yeah.
不过这是件好事 对吧？ -嗯
'Cause these lists ain't woke, they're gross.
因为这些名单并不正能量 挺粗俗的
Yep, totally, bleugh.
是的 正是如此
But you still wanna be on 'em. -I know, why is that?
但你还是想上名单 -是啊 为什么会这样？
It's like Schindler's List. -How so?
这就像辛德勒的名单 -为何如此？
You wish there didn't have to be a list, but if there's gonna be one,
你不需要一份名单 但如果确实有的话
you wanna be on that motherfuckin' list.
你就希望在那份该死的名单上
The child wedding of the century has a new twist.
出现新转折
At Devon's bachelor party, the boys all made lists
在德沃尔的单身派对上 男生都制♥作♥了一份名单
of the hottest girls in the grade, and the girls are fucking pissed.
列出级花 而女生都非常恼火
These lists are so not cool, and I'm sick of the boys objectifying us.
这些名单太糟糕了 我厌倦了男生对我们的物化
Yeah, I feel like a dirty piece of meat.
对啊 我觉得像一块脏肉
Like a slab of prime rib that knows what's what.
就像一块很懂套路的上等肋条牛肉
I should be the only one on Devon's list,
我应该是德沃尔名单上的唯一
and it makes me feel like he is not mature enough to get child married.
我觉得他不够成熟 不适合结童婚
I'm so screwed.
我完蛋了
Who fucking snitched? -Yeah!
是哪个混♥蛋♥打的小报告？ -是啊
Who told Jessi this morning who then told Matthew
是谁今天早上告诉了杰茜 她又告诉了马修
who, let's change the subject, is doing some solid reporting.
是谁 咱们换话题 做一些可靠的报道吧
Nick Birch has Mila-slash-Lotte in his number two spot.
尼克博奇名单上的 第二位是米拉/洛特
dear Lord. -Two girls, one schmuck.
老天爷啊 -两个女孩 一个笨蛋
I am sorry, guys, that is messed up.
二位 我感到遗憾 这太糟糕了
Eh, we understand, this is only the opinion of one small boy.
我们理解 这只是一个小男孩的想法
We are confident in our individualism.
我们对自己的个人特征很有信心
I agree with the hot Janssen.
我赞同美貌的杨森
Hold the donkey, Lotte is the hot one?
等等 蠢货 洛特是漂亮的那个？
Yeah, Lump likey.
对 拉普喜欢
This is exactly the kind of thing that could tear our grade asunder.
这种事情会让我们年级分崩离析
Missy, I want you to know
蜜茜 我想让你知道
I would never make a list like that.
我绝不会列这种名单
How will the girls respond?
噢 -女生会如何回应？
Let's turn to the new girl, with a final thought.
咱们去问问新来的女生 进行总结
You know, I... I thought this school was so basic, but a weird kid wedding,
我本来觉得这个学校好普通 不过你们居然会有诡异的儿童婚礼
rankings, and you get to swear on an in-school TV show...
选级花 还可以在学校的 电视节目上骂人
This place is fucking awesome, you cocksucking pussy lickers!
这个地方真♥他♥妈♥带劲 你们这些吸屌♥舔♥阴♥的家伙
Welcome to Devin's bachelorette party.
欢迎来到德文的单身女郎派对
Wow, Mila, you look-Like a sexy Lego woman. Love the bangs.
哇 米拉 你看上去… -像个性感的乐高女子 喜欢这个刘海
Just, you know, trying something different.
就是试试不同的东西
Yeah, okay, bitch.
好了啦 贱♥人♥
You guys, it's time to play Pin the Lenny on the Kravitz.
诸位 要来玩耍 把莱尼钉在克拉维茨身上的游戏啦
I'm sorry, what?
抱歉 你说什么？
Devin, you get to go first, but don't lick it,
德文 你先来 但是不要舔
it just tastes like paper.
吃起来像纸
How can I play a game? I'm too upset about Devon's list.
我怎么玩得了游戏 德沃尔的名单让我好伤心
If you're so pissed, why don't you make your own?
如果你这么恼火 干嘛不自己也做份名单？
my God, everyone, I just had the best idea.
我的天啊 诸位 我有个最好的主意
What if we made our own lists ranking the boys?
如果我们也制♥作♥名单给男生排名呢？
my God, I'm so in. -Fuck it, me too.
我的天啊 我好喜欢 -我靠 我也来
I just got Uma Thurman bangs, you guys. It's not, like, a big deal, everyone.
我刚剪了乌玛瑟曼的刘海 这也不是啥大事了
You got bangs.
你有刘海
Hey, Duke. -Fifty Shades of Jay! What's up?
嘿 公爵 -五十度杰伊 怎么回事？
Well, there's this new girl at school, and everyone thinks it's so cool
学校新来了个女同学 大家都觉得
that she likes boy holes and girl holes. ...huh.
她喜欢睡男生和女生是很酷的事情 -啊哈
And I'm thinkin' maybe it's time for me to tell everyone that I'm bisexual.
我觉得也许是时候告诉大家 我是双性恋了
I don't know, maybe you should keep it to yourself,
我说不准 也许你应该保守秘密
like my dear friends...
就像我的挚友们那样
♪ The ghosts of Richard Pryor And Marlon Brando ♪
理查德普赖尔和马龙白兰度的鬼魂
Ho-ho-ho! -Holy shit, gotta love it.
天啊 爱得要命
They are full-on devouring each other.
他们正在对彼此狼吞虎咽
I'm gonna give you a blow job you can't refuse.
我会让你有最棒的口♥交♥体验
Shit, motherfucker, goddamn, put some coke on it, then.
靠 王八蛋 死鬼 那就在上面加点可乐啊
Richard! Richard!
理查德！
Okay, I'm gonna send 'em back. -No, no, no, no, no! Aww, come on.
好了 我要送他们回去 -不要 别走
But you know something?
不过你知道吗
Watching 'em yin-yang each other's wing-wangs makes me think
看着他们纵情吮吸彼此的老二 让我禁不住思考
they might've liked to have done it openly while they were alive.
他们活着时可能也想公开这样做
Yeah. I wanna suck dick while I'm alive, like, at halftime, at a basketball game,
嗯 我想在活着的时候吸老二 比如在篮球比赛的中场休息期间
while I'm sinking the shot to win a Kia Sorento.
当我投进一球赢得起亚索兰托的时候
Ha-ha! Me too.
我也是
I don't know who to put on my list.
我不知道名单上要放谁
The boys at school are so lame.
学校的男生都好差劲
Ooh, you know who's not lame?
你知道谁不差劲吗？
Who? -Judd.
谁？ -贾德
Stop, he's Nick's brother and he's a legit maniac.
少来 他是尼克的哥哥 他完全是个疯子
A maniac that turns your undies into a Slip 'N Slide.
能让你的内♥裤♥湿滑滑的疯子
I'm a little worried because the boys' lists made us feel bad
我有点担心 因为男生的名单让我们感觉好糟糕
and now we're doing the same thing.
现在我们做的是一样的事
shut up, Missy, we'll learn our lesson later.
闭嘴 蜜茜 我们晚点再听教训
I've got my list!
我的名单列好了
Charles Lu, like a fart, silent but deadly, Mr. Lizer...
查尔斯刘 像个屁一样安静又致命 怀泽先生…
Ew, he's a teacher. -Yeah,
他是老师 -对
a hot teacher with an ass made for Lee jeans.
一个性感的老师 美臀特别适合穿牛仔裤
wow. -And, lastly but not leastly, Nick Birch.
哎呀 -最后但也重要的是 尼克博奇
Really? -I like a little rascal I can bat around.
真的吗？ -我喜欢陪我到处游荡的小流氓
Okay, I'm ready too. Mila Janssen, love the hair.
我也写好了 米拉杨森 爱她的发型
This is a comedy joke.
这也太好笑了
Then, Matthew. - Matthew's gay.
接着是马修 -马修是同性恋
So what? He's obviously the hottest guy in the grade.
那又如何？他明显是级草啊
it's true, you're right. -And finally...
是的 你说得对 -最后是…
Lola.
萝拉
Wait, what?
等等 什么？
What? Lola? You're into this mess?
什么？萝拉？你喜欢这种邋遢鬼？
I know, there's just something about her.
我知道 只是她有种特质
She's like a sexy refrigerator, and I wanna know what's inside.
像一台性感的冰箱 我想知道里面装了什么
Cat medicine and a white onion, sweetheart.
猫咪药和一颗白洋葱 甜心
Okay, this is ridiculous.
这太荒唐了
my God, you guys, I almost forgot, because of my acne medication.
我的天啊 因为用了痤疮药物 害得我差点忘了
I got us a dank-ass stripper!
我给咱们找了个优质脱衣舞男
Lola, that is so inappro...
噢 -萝拉 这样太不合适…
Eww! Coach Steve, you're not an erotic dancer.
史蒂夫教练 你不是跳艳舞的
What? No, the agency told me they wanted an aerobic hamster. So...
什么？没有啊 中介跟我说他们 要一个做有氧运动的仓鼠 所以…
Go on! Let me see that tail.
继续！ -让我看尾巴
Be careful. -Drink from the water thingy.
当心 -在水嘴那喝水
Okay. How do I stop? Whoa!
我要怎么停下？哇！
Now, show us your dick.
现在亮出你的鸡鸡
Breaking news. The child wedding is on life support.
爆♥炸♥新闻 儿童婚礼危在旦夕
The reason? List fever, and it's contagious.
原因是？名单热 这是会传染的
With me now is our statistician Caleb to break down the rankings.
现在和我一起主持节目的 是我们的统计学家凯乐布
What up, fam? It's your boy, Caleb, I'm reading cue cards.
朋友们你们好 我是你们的凯乐布 我在读提词板
The number one ranked boy is Devon and the number one girl is Ali.
排名第一的男生是德沃尔 第一名的女生是阿丽
Holy shit, the pansexual girl is number one? This is happening.
我的天啊 泛性恋女孩排第一？ 居然有这种事
Let's chart Ali's meteoric rise to the top,
我们用图表来表明阿丽的迅速蹿升
and you can all follow along at home with our downloadable app.
你可以在家使用 我们可下载的应用程序追踪动态
I went to coding camp last summer.
去年夏天我去了编程夏令营
Whoa, Jessi, you low.
哇 杰茜 你排名好靠后
Quick, stuff your bra with bacon. Boys love bacon.
快 往你内衣里塞熏肉 男生喜欢熏肉
No! Fuck that. I don't even care what these losers think.
不要 去他妈的 我才不在意这些屌♥丝怎么想的
my God, I'm number seven.
我的天啊 我是第7名
And I'm number 14?
我是第14名？
Up is down, left is right!
上变下 左变右 你这个小兔崽子感觉如何？
How does it feel, you little prick? -Excuse me?
你说啥？ -抱歉
I'm sorry. Number seven went straight to my head.
第7名冲昏我的头脑了
You couldn't get laid in a fuck dungeon, you fourteen motherfucker.
你没机会在性♥爱♥地牢里上♥床♥了 可怜的第14名
I'm not even on Ali's list.
我都没上阿丽的名单
that's okay, Fourteen, you're third on Gina's.
没事的 14名 你在吉娜名单上排行第三
Really? I guess I'm back in the mix with Gina.
真的吗？ 我想我又加入吉娜的行列了
You're also number three on Lola's list.
你在萝拉的名单上也排第三
Yeah, this Gina situation's interesting.