大嘴巴（2017）

Big Mouth S03E09

Part 2 Oct. 9, 2020, 10:54 a.m.

“哇太棒了”
Now, Leah, she was an easy baby.
莉亚她是个乖小孩
I put her in a drawer.
我把她放在抽屉里
Wow, amazing.
哇太棒了
You smell that?
闻到了吗？
Jay's finally calm.
杰伊终于平静了
I love the smell of Jay calm in the morning.
我喜欢杰伊早上平静的气味
h, my anxiety-based vertigo's kicking in.
我基于焦虑的晕眩发作了
Jessi, be a dear and press right in the meat
杰茜行行好帮我压一下
between my thumb and forefinger. -Not now. I'm gettin' in the zone.
大拇指和食指间的肉 -现在没空我正在进入状态
my mouth is so dry.
我的口好干
Guys, it's gonna be fine.
诸位都会好的
Look, in the future, we're all gonna be either a Lyft driver or a billionaire.
听着我们以后要么当出租车司机要么当亿万富翁
I will not work for Uber.
我才不要替优步干活
No, because they picked up at the airport when the border...
不会的因为他们在机场接人
You know, I forget, but I don't forgive.
而边境…我忘了但是我不会原谅的
Guess who?
猜猜是谁？
Missy, please, I'm doing ASS prep.
蜜茜别闹我在做考试准备
relax. These standardized tests are so easy.
放松点标准化的考试好简单
Maybe for you.
对你也许是的
You're the smartest person in our grade. -Yeah, well, I'd be...
你是我们年级最聪明的人 -嗯那个我会成为…
Pfft. I guess. If you're going by grade point average
我猜是吧如果你按年级平均成绩
or literally any other metric.
或随便什么衡量标准来算
Guys, you have to come see this.
你们来看看
Jay's here early. -Really?
杰伊今天早早地来了 -真的吗？
And it's not to change out the memory cards in all his toilet cams.
而且不是为了更换他厕所摄像头里的存储卡
wait, what?
等等什么？
Good morning, jerks.
早上好混♥蛋♥们
Jay, you're in your seat. -Yeah.
杰伊你坐在自己的凳子上 -嗯
And you remembered number two pencils?
你还记得带二号♥铅笔？
All of a sudden, I'm, like, horny for following instructions.
忽然之间我饥渴地愿意遵循指示
That Jay is not the real Jay. That Jay is an impostor.
那个杰伊不是真正的杰伊他是个冒牌货
Or are we experiencing some sort of shared hallucination?
或者我们在经历一种共同的幻觉？
If this was a shared hallucination, the animation style would be different.
如果这是共同的幻觉那动画风格应该不一样
Okay, settle down, people.
好了大家安静
Now, today is a very important day
今天是个重要的日子
that will affect the rest of your entire life.
会影响你们随后的整个人生
My mom says if I do good, I can get my ears double-pierced,
我妈妈说如果考得好我就能打两个耳洞
but at Home Depot because the girl at Claire's
不过在家得宝因为克莱尔连锁店的女孩
said my lobes were too tough for their fucking machine.
说我的耳垂太结实机器穿不过去
Well, it's official.
确定无误了
I know none of the answers.
我一个答案都不知道
Are you stupid? -
你傻吗？
No. - shit.
不傻吧 -糟了
You're gonna be a Lyft driver.
你要当出租车司机了
And sometimes you'll have to pick up people you know.
有时候接的乘客还是认识的人
That's gonna be a strange dynamic.
那种交流就古怪了
no.
唉不要
h, I'm not breathing. Okay, relax. Just relax, Andrew.
我没有呼吸好的放松放松安德鲁
Someone tried to get someone to relax last night, but he said he didn't wanna.
有人昨晚试图让某人放松的但他说他不要
Maury, I love you, but not now.
毛瑞我爱你但现在不行
I'm in the middle of this huge test.
我正在进行一场大考
What the...
搞什么…
Andrew, why are you even worried about this?
安德鲁你干嘛担心这个？
You're at the very top of your class.
你是班上的尖子生
I'm not at the top of my class.
我不是尖子生
You make me spend every minute of school
你逼我上学的每一分钟都在幻想我认识的女孩
imagining girls I know soaked from the rain.
雨中湿身
Yum, yum! -Their umbrellas blew away.
对 -她们的伞被大风刮走
But you're very smart, right? I mean, you've got those schmuck glasses.
但你很聪明吧？你戴着那副蠢眼镜
I have these schmuck glasses 'cause I got shitty eyes.
我戴着这幅蠢眼镜是因为视力稀烂
God. no.
天啊不好
shit!
糟了
Fuck you, it's D.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 是D
Fuck you, A.
去你妈 A
Fuck you, another A.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 又是A
D, A, D.
D A D
Fuck, I'm killin' this. -You are shit hot, Andy Garcia.
我靠老子太厉害了 -你是超彪悍的安迪加西亚
Who knew one of our most treasured dramatic actors could also dance?
谁知道我们最宝贵的戏剧演员之一跳舞也是很棒的？
Every single person who saw Mamma Mia 2 in theaters, sir.
看过《妈妈咪呀2》的所有人长官
Here you go, Mr. Lizer. I'm gonna go fart outside.
给你莱泽先生我要出去放屁了
What the hell? Jay finished already?
什么情况？杰伊提前交卷？
And you're not even halfway done.
你一半都没做完
Why don't you just give up?
你干嘛不放弃？
Get out of here, Depression Kitty.
离开这里忧郁凯蒂猫
I need to concentrate.
我需要专心
On what?
专心想什么呢？
How you'll never live up to your mother's expectations?
想你永远无法满足母亲的期望？
Let me get back to my test!
让我回去考试
Let go. -You're not going to Yale.
放手 -你上不了耶鲁的
You're gonna end up sellin' leggings on Facebook.
你最后只能在脸书上卖♥♥打底裤
Get off.
滚开
shit.
坏了
I can't do two more days of this.
我没法再考两天了
I'm gonna eat peanuts.
我要吃花生
I crave the sweet and salty relief of death.
我渴望从死亡中得到甜和咸味的慰藉
No, Allergy Kid! Don't do it.
不要过敏的小孩！别这样
They won't grade a dead boy's test.
他们不会给死去小孩的考试打分的
Mr. Lizer!
莱泽先生
Um, I just got a little distracted.
我有点分心了
Could I possibly get some more time?
我能不能多点时间？
.. Fuck you, Jessi.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 杰茜
Excuse me? - uh...
你说什么？
I said it wouldn't be fair to the other kids.
我说这样对其他孩子不公平
I hope you wake up deaf and blind.
我希望你醒来之后又聋又哑
Well, I completely blew that.
我彻底搞砸了
I filled out a lot of the bubbles halfway so they'd have to call me later.
很多泡泡我只填了一半所以他们过后会打电♥话♥给我
Woohoo, tests rule!
好耶考试最棒了
I'm like Young Sheldon, if he fucked.
我就像年轻的谢尔顿如果他性♥交♥的话
Hey, Nick, are you Rebecca? -What?
嘿尼克你是瑞贝卡吗？ -什么？
I'm Coach Lyft Driver Cautionary Tale to Nick Steve now.
我现在是作为警世故事的出租车司机尼克史蒂夫
...huh. -So, uh, what'd you do in school today?
啊哈 -那么你今天在学校干嘛了？
Well, we have these standardized tests and...
我们考了这些标准化的考试还有…
the tepee snake snakes.
噢这个太折腾了
Yeah, I did bad on those.
我就没考好
But it's okay, because I'm gonna be a billionaire when I grow up.
不过没关系的因为我长大会当亿万富翁
Ooh, Jesus Christ.
老天爷啊
Hey, tree, are you Rebecca?
嘿树啊你是瑞贝卡吗？
This might sound crazy, Duke, but I don't think I need
老哥这可能听起来挺疯但我觉得我不需要在包里
to keep bringing this old spaghetti to school in my backpack.
一直带着这些老意面上学了
You don't even have a free period to fuck it anymore.
你都没空乱搞它了
Jay, what was goin' on with you today? You were, like, smart.
杰伊你今天出什么事了？你变聪明了
your mom took me to a doctor,
你妈妈带我去看医生了
but instead of delousing me like normal, ha-ha, he gave me Adderall.
他没给我消毒而是给我阿得拉
Whoa. Does it make you feel weird?
让你感觉古怪吗？
Weird? Hah!
古怪？
It makes me feel like I have the best body in our grade, in my head.
让我脑子里觉得自己拥有年级最强体魄
Get with it, Nick.
接受吧尼克
I loved pep pills when I was alive.
我活着的时候也喜欢兴奋药丸
There's no better way to write music at 4:00 a.m.
没有什么能够媲美四手谱曲
while eatin' a 12-course meal on a train.
同时还在列车上吃12道菜的大餐
maybe I could use one of those.
没准我也能吃一粒
No way, these are my genius pills. -What do you want, Jay?
不行这是我的聪明药 -你想要什么杰伊？
Cold hard cash, a night with one of my pillows?
实打实的现金外加跟我的枕头睡一晚吗？
Take the money, kid.
小子把钱拿着
Then the pillows come to you.
然后枕头就会来找你的
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You give me money for the Adderall?
你给我钱换阿得拉
And then what? It's my money?
然后呢？钱归我了？
Jay's money? -Yeah.
是杰伊的钱了？ -对
I want to give you money in exchange for what you have.
我想给你钱来交换你手上的东西
Wow. Am I a boy or a store?