大嘴巴（2017）

Big Mouth S03E09

Part 5 Oct. 9, 2020, 10:54 a.m.

现在答案都选C 咱们离开这个鬼地方
What if I was that bird?
如果我是那只鸟会怎么样？
Sick nest.
好酷的鸟巢
Do birds even sleep? And, like, what's up with my bird dick?
鸟要睡觉吗我的鸟类阴♥茎♥怎么办？
Your dick is hard and made of chicken.
你的阴♥茎♥很硬是鸡肉做的
Come fuck your home, asshole.
来操你的鸟窝吧混♥蛋♥
Okay. Fuck, yeah. ! Take it. shit.
好的我靠吃老子一棒该死
I've got the best imagination in my grade.
我有这个年级最好的想象力
Foreman-Greenwald!
工头格林沃尔德
You are draggin' ass, and I just cleaned the carpet.
你在拖后腿我刚清理了地毯
I can't think, everything's too loud.
我没法思考一切都好吵
Andy Garcia, ay, Papi.
安迪加西亚嘿帅哥
If you can't survive a mosh pit full of Andy Garcias,
如果你不能从充满安迪加西亚的狂舞坑中幸存
you're gonna fail this fuckin' test. - uh!
你就会考砸
You've just- uh!
你们…
no, get away. I don't know who you are.
不要走开我不认识你
You're not Alec Baldwin, but I don't know who you are.
你不是亚历克鲍德温但我不知道你是谁
...Andy Garcia. - I'm Andy Garcia. -I'm down here. No.
我是安迪加西亚 -我在下面不要
OK, I get it, but, like, are you my city councilman or something?
好吧我懂了你是我的市议员吗？
Pencils down.
放下铅笔 -我的神啊
dear God. -And hands in the air.
把手举起来 -天啊
jeez. -Riddle me this, joker me that.
猜猜这个谜
Which one of you assholes am I gonna kill today?
我今天要杀掉哪个混♥蛋♥？
Ahem. Not I, officer.
不是我长官
wow, Conan O'Brien.
哇柯南奥布莱恩
We're huge fans of your comedy down at the station house.
我们在警局里是您的铁杆粉丝
You know, what Jay Leno did to you was a travesty
杰雷诺完全是对您进行拙劣的模仿
over there on NBC back then over there. -It was me!
当年在NBC的时候 -是我♥干♥的
I'm on illicit drugs,
我在吸毒
and now my eyeballs are poppin' out of my head.
现在我的眼球要从脑子里跳出来了
Okay, eye poppy, Andy Garcia. Case closed.
好的老兄安迪加西亚结案
And I cheated
我作弊了
and now my dick is as soft as a Livestrong bracelet.
现在我的老二像坚强生活的腕带一样软
My backpack is filled with miniature figurines of every student.
我的背包里装满了每个学生的小雕像
I took Ukrainian diet pills that made food look like spiders,
我吃了乌克兰减肥药让食物看起来像蜘蛛
but then I got a taste for spiders,
但后来我喜欢吃蜘蛛了
so now when I walk by a dusty barn, I totally binge.
所以现在走过一个满是灰尘的谷仓时我简直欢天喜地
I did it. You're very welcome. -I pick my grandma's nose and eat it.
是我♥干♥的来抓我别客气 -我挖了奶奶的鼻屎吃掉了
All right, all right, that's enough, that's enough.
好了够了
We're not here for any of you.
我们不是来抓你们的
We're here for the drug dealer.
我们是来抓药贩子的
And we only brought one pair of the pediatric handcuffs.
我们只带了一副儿童手铐
Just so you know, I don't regret a thing,
跟你们说一声我完全不后悔
because following rules is gay
因为循规蹈矩的是同性恋
and I'm bi.
而我是双性恋
Well, then, say good-bi to your friends.
那就跟你的朋友们道别吧
You see what I did there, Mr. O'Brien?
看到我做的了吗奥布莱恩先生？
Jay, wait, if you meet a guy in jail with iron teeth,
杰伊等等如果你在监狱里碰见一个镶着铁牙的人
tell him Lola's mom says, "What's up?"
告诉他萝拉的妈妈说“你还好吗？”
Are you guys getting more divorced?
你们还要商量比离婚更彻底的事吗？
Actually, your father was just explaining to me
其实你父亲在跟我解释
that maybe I'm putting too much pressure on you.
也许我给你施加了太多压力
And your lower back. -So you're okay if I don't get into Yale?
还有你的后背 -所以我不去耶鲁你也没问题吗？
Of course.
当然
There's Brown, Columbia, Cornell... but not Barnard.
还能去布朗哥大康奈尔但不要去巴纳德学院
Those girls are not happy. -Mom.
那里的女孩不开心 -妈妈
The point is, the children of Trader Joe's employees get free admission
重点是乔氏超♥市♥员工的子女
to the Fearless Flyer Academy.
可以被无畏传♥单♥学院免费录取
You got the job? - I don't know.
你被聘上了？ -我不知道
What does this name tag say?
这个姓名标签怎么写的？
It says "Grag."
写的是“格拉戈”
It... Yeah, they already had a Greg.
嗯他们已经有一个格拉戈了
Nicky's home!
小尼回家了
I have an H and a G and all that's missing is U.
我有一个提手旁还有一个包只差把它们合在一起了
H-U-G. Hug.
提手旁和包就是抱
So, how do you think the test went?
你觉得考试怎么样？
Honestly, guys?
老实说
I think I aced it. -Hold on.
我觉得我考得很好 -等等
You completely bombed that test.
你彻底考砸了
Yeah, but they don't need to know that now,
对啊但他们现在不需要知道
and like you said, what I got, they don't test for.
就像你说的我所具备的才能他们并不考
That's right, baby. You got charm, charisma,
对的宝贝你迷人有魅力
and dem dick-suckin' lips. -What?
还有吹♥箫♥嘴唇 -什么？
Now go in that bathroom and do a little self sucky-fucky.
现在去卫生间去自吹自撸一下
You mean, blow myself? I don't think I can.
你是说给自己口♥交♥吗？我觉得我不行
Well, it's important to try. -Thanks, Connie.
重要的是去尝试 -谢了康妮
Not on tests but on suckin' that dick.
说的不是考试而是说口♥交♥
Yeah. Yeah.
嗯
Hey, Nicky, where's Jay?
嘿小尼杰伊在哪？
And that's what happened.
情况就是这样
My, my, my, that's quite a story.
我的天啊真是跌宕起伏
Hey, what's Conan O'Brien like in person?
柯南奥布莱恩本人是什么样的？
You were there for that part.
当时你也在啊
I was so star-struck, I think I blacked out.
我太追星了我觉得我可能断片了
Yeah, yeah, he's Team Coco all the way.
是啊他一直都支持柯南
Hey, Bilzerian, your lawyer's here.
嘿比瑟瑞恩你的律师来了
Holy shit, you're my lawyer?
天啊你是我的律师
You bet your dirty little dick I am.
你个混账东西老子正是你的律师
And look at you, sellin' drugs, gettin' arrested.
瞧瞧你贩卖♥♥毒品还被抓了
It's givin' me a hard-on
真是让我兴致盎然
thinkin' about what a piece of shit you've become.
想到你小子居然出息了
Aw, Dad, you just quoted your own law commercial.
老爸你刚引用了你自己的法律广♥告♥
That's right. And guess what else?
没错猜猜还有什么事？
You're comin' home, Jay.
你要回家了杰伊
You bailed me out?
你保释我了？
Strangest thing.
最奇怪的事情是
Your bail was already paid.
你的保释金已经被人支付了
By who?
谁付的？
He was a short guy,
是一个矮个子男人
hairy, smelled like bananas,
很多毛闻起来有股香蕉味
big red balls and a ripped-up six-pack.
红色的大蛋蛋和一组结实的六块腹肌
He was a monkey.
他是只猴子
Hey, monkey, are you Rebecca?
嘿猴子你是瑞贝卡吗？
Are you Steve?
你是史蒂夫吗？
That's my name.
那是我的名字
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, monkey. I forgot to ask.
等等猴子我忘记问了
What do you do for a living? You need a phone charger?
你是做什么工作的？你要手♥机♥充电器吗？
You want a tiny water
你想喝我后备箱里
that's been stuck in my trunk for three weeks?
塞了三个星期的水吗?
How about some gum?
来点口香糖吗？
You want me to eavesdrop
想要我偷听
on a conversation you're having on the phone?
你在电♥话♥里的对话吗？
How about a conversation you're having with the other person in the car?
偷听你在车里和别人的对话怎么样？
You want me to seem like I'm not listening
你要我看似没有在听
and then weigh in on what you're talking about?
却能对你们的谈话内容展开辩论吗？
You want a melted candy?
要来一个融化的糖果吗？
Do you want to hear my life story?
你想听我的人生故事吗？
You wanna know how long I've been a Lyft driver for?
想知道我当了多久的出租车司机吗？
You wanna watch me text and drive?
想看我边发短♥信♥边开车吗？
You want me to take a weird route?
想要我走一条奇怪的路吗？
You want me to make a left across traffic?
要我过马路左转吗？
How about I pull over here for ten minutes?
要我在这里停十分钟吗？
How about me watching a TV show on my phone while I drive?
要我在开车的时候看一部电视剧吗？
Hey, you wanna listen to something?
你想听点什么吗？
You wanna know what radio I listen to?
想知道我听什么电台吗？
You wanna know my political views?
想知道我的政♥治♥观点吗？
You want me to hear about your political views?
想要我听你的政♥治♥观点吗？
What do you do for a living?
你是做什么工作的？