辛普森一家
The Simpsons S28E19
Part 4
Feb. 2, 2020, 12:10 p.m.
Are you tired from your trip?
我给你来个清醒低温冻吧
Let's get you a refreshing cryofreeze.
警告 液氮
重获新生的感觉 对吧
Rejuvenating, huh?
打开了你的毛孔
It opens your pores.
如果我在里面撒尿不会有事吧
Uh, what happens if I pee in this?
你是真心提问还是先斩后奏
Are you just asking? Or did you already pee in it?
我需要帮助
I'm asking for a friend.
下一个活动是什么
So what's our next activity?
希望不是方阵舞
I hope it's not square dancing.
带你认识我其余的座上宾
I'd like you to meet the rest of my guests.
侯默 向世上最伟大的教育家们问好吧
Homer, say hello to the greatest educators in the world.
尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森 天体物理学家
Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist.
太阳系已经存在超过45亿年了
The Solar System is over four and a half billion years old.
肯·杰林斯 最强大脑的总冠军
Jeopardy! Champion of champions, Ken Jennings.
答案是 见到你很高兴
Who is "Glad to meet you"?
苏茜·欧曼 经济教育家
Financial educator Suze Orman.
在你还清信♥用♥卡♥前
You are not allowed to buy a Mercedes
你是不可以买♥♥奔驰的
until you pay off your credit cards.
好 该你了
Great, now you tell me.
罗伯特·麦基 编剧专家
Screenwriting guru Robert McKee.
欢迎观看我们故事第三幕的高♥潮♥
Welcome to the act three climax,
问题解决 还有次要章节
resolution of story and subplots.
我猜你在疑惑我为什么要组建一个
I expect you're wondering why I've assembled a team
世界最强教师的队伍
of the world's greatest teachers.
点儿什么
To teach something.
教一些人
To somebody.
只有六种基本情节
Well, there are only six basic plots.
先扬后抑 先抑后扬
Rise-fall, fall-rise,
稳定下落 稳定发展
steady fall, steady rise,
黑警♥察♥白警♥察♥ 还有不准结婚
black cop-white cop, and stop that wedding.
我的计划是这样的
Well, here's what I'm up to.
这是萨莉
This is Sallie.
这是萨莉们
And these are Sallie.
她们也是萨莉
And those are Sallie!
那些
And those...
是萨列斯
are Sullys.
有史以来最伟大的飞行员的机器人复♥制♥品
Robot replicas of the greatest pilot of all time.
他没给他们准备飞行员包
He lost all their bags.
没人发现吗
No one talks about that.
你们是人类目前在世的最优秀的教育者
You are the greatest living educators, of humans.
你们面临着一生最大的挑战
But now you must face the greatest challenge of your lives:
你们能教会人工智能吗
Can you teach an artificial intelligence?
教机器人
To teach a robot.
你让我更感兴趣了
Now you've compounded my interest.
那个方法缩短时间很好用
That was a very useful time cut.
让我们来看看怎么样了
Now, let's find out what's going on.
让我来吧 罗伯特
Leave that to me, Robert.
怎么样了
What's going on?
我会告诉你的 并且不会之后杀了你
I'll tell you, and I won't kill you afterwards.
什么 这是份助学贷款申请书
What? This is a student loan application.
萨莉
Sallie...
萨莉·梅
Sallie Mae?
那个国家助学贷款计划
The Federal Student Loan Program?
你的机器人团太先进了
You're creating an army of robots so advanced
它们居然能拿到助学贷款
that they can get student loans.
没错 这些学器人或者叫机器生
That's right. These stu-bots-- or ro-dents, if you prefer--
会去上我买♥♥下来的大学
will attend the universities I've been buying up
然后引流无数纳税人的钱到我口袋里
and funnel billions of taxpayer dollars to me.
对 作为一个美国人的责任就是
That's it. As Americans, it's our duty to either
打倒万恶的亿万富翁否则就推他到高位上
stop evil billionaires or elect them to the highest office.
成功了 带着你们一聚氨酯脖子的债
Well, we've done it. You're all up to your polyurethane necks
去上耶鲁吧
in debt and heading to Yale.
跟着我
Follow me.
布拉布拉[耶鲁加油歌♥]
Boola Boola.
布拉布拉
Boola Boola.
祝你好运 侯默
Good luck, Homer.
我能在救场的最后一分钟见到你吗
Will I see you at the last minute saving the day?
不能 太老套了
Nah, too clichéd.
六周后
耶鲁大学 管理层变动但学费不变
萨莉们完全混进去了啊
The Sallies have blended right in.
我们仿佛有了12部《激♥情♥年代》在制♥作♥
We've got 12 productions of The Crucible going on,
还有了世上绝无仅有的奖学金最少的
and the deepest Division III women's lacrosse team
女子曲棍球队
the world has ever seen.
她们是各方面都无懈可击的学生
They're perfect students in every way.
无性别厕所
这就是她们的弱点
And that's their weakness.
我也是机器人
I am a robot, too.
我爹是个烤面包机
My father was a toaster.
他有机器人的脸
He's in botface.
简直是不敢相信的侮辱
That's unbelievably offensive.
微歧视
Microaggression.
文化挪用
Cultural appropriation.
-侮辱 -侮辱
- Offensive. - Offensive.
侮辱
Offensive.
神啊 老师们让这些机器人太像人了
Dear Lord, those teachers made them too human.
你毁了我
You've ruined me.
好吧 并不是全部
Well, not completely.
我仍然保有健康
I still have my health.
我女儿十年内申请的话需要多少钱
So, how much will it cost if my daughter applies in ten years?
两千美元
$2,000.
不是很多嘛
That's not so bad.
那只是申请费
That's the application fee.
丽莎你看见卫星的光环了吗
Lisa do you see them, the rings of satellites.
看见了
I do.
问题是 六分之五是多少
The question is, what is five-sixths?
马姬 听我说
Marge, listen to me.
你治不了愚蠢
You can't fix stupid.
你必须为了保险杀了他
You have to kill him for the insurance.
我一直说这些标签毫无意义
I've always said these tags are pointless.
故事结束 晚安
Story's over. Good night.
*来到莫里的桌前*
*To the tables down at Mory's*
*来到路易的居所*
*To the place where Louie dwells*
*来到亲爱的老圣殿酒吧*
*To the dear old Temple Bar*
我们深爱这里
*We love so well*
*威芬普夫斯齐聚歌♥唱*
*Sing the Whiffenpoofs assembled*
*他们酒杯高举*
*With their glasses raised on high*
*他们歌♥唱的魔法施展咒语*
*And the magic of their singing casts its spell*
*没错 歌♥唱的魔法*
*Yes, the magic of their singing*
*唱着我们挚爱的歌♥*
*Of the songs we love so well*
放猎狗
Release the hounds.
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