辛普森一家
The Simpsons S28E05
Part 2
Feb. 2, 2020, 12:05 p.m.
现在我向大家道歉
Now that I've apologized,
我的电视台向我保证它全完有信心...
my station has assured me that it has full confidence...
以上就是可耻的主持人肯特·布罗克曼
These were the last words of disgraced anchor Kent Brockman
在被保安赶出去之前的最后几句话
before he was escorted out by security
代替他坐在这里的是我 阿尼·派伊
and replaced by me, Arnie Pye.
这位记者承诺为我们新闻部恢复公信力
This reporter promises to restore our news department's credibility.
今天的头条新闻 企业税太高
In our top story, corporate taxes are too high.
天 我真的会怀念安德森·库珀的
Geez, I'm really gonna miss Anderson Cooper.
安德森·库珀 CNN著名主持人
那个不是安德森·库珀
That wasn't Anderson Cooper.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
我还没被打败...
I'm not licked yet...
只要我弄个手♥机♥找个地方坐下来
not as long as I've got a cell phone and a place to sit.
这是公♥司♥财产
Company car.
第六频道新闻
《煮妇神器》——令人兴奋的煲汤艺术
马姬 我觉得我该买♥♥新衣服了
Marge, I think I may have to get new clothes.
终于
At last!
是时候该为自己塑造一个
It's time for me to project the image
强大 自力更生的男人的形象了
of a powerful, self-reliant man.
放学后你能带我去购物吗
Will you take me shopping after school?
当然可以 在那之后也许你可以...
Sure. And after that, maybe you could...
不知道 减点肥
oh, I don't know, lose a little weight?
马姬 不 别太贪心了 别太贪心了
Marge, no, don't get greedy, don't get greedy.
亲爱的 我一直都很乐意短暂地减下肥
Sweetheart, I'm always happy to temporarily lose weight.
春田小学
这个应用叫做妈妈管家
So, this app is called Smothr.
我妈就能无时不刻地看着我
Lets my mom keep a healthy eye on me 24/7.
苗浩斯 你过于激动了
Milhouse, you're overexcited.
你会流鼻血的
You're going to get a bloody nose.
我才不会
I will not!
看见没
See?
我管这叫麻麻因为它们会让我手指发麻
I call these num-nums because they make my fingers numb.
为什么这个东西的唯一的成分只有
Why are the only ingredients here
阿壳糖糖
"水 乐趣和氢化笑"
"Water, fun and hydrogenated chuckles"?
阿壳出品品质保障
Hey, Krusty makes quality products.
要炸了
Incoming!
我来尝尝这些糖果
Mm, let me try one of those candies.
我和丽莎共享了一顿饭
I shared a meal with Lisa.
这到亲嘴已经成功了一半
It's halfway to a kiss.
现在我也亲了丽莎
Now I kissed Lisa.
没人亲过丽莎
No one kissed Lisa!
我不觉得糖果会让我左臂
Hmm, I don't think candy should give me a tingling
有麻木感
in my left arm.
我要向你证明
I'm gonna prove to you
阿壳是一个好小丑而且他的糖不会致命
that Krusty is a good clown with nonlethal candy.
那个叫奥托的 你能把我们送到食品加工区吗
Hey, Otto-man, can you take us to the food processing district?
没门 叫巴仔的
No way, Bartman.
奥托 我才想起来
Hey, Otto, I just remembered,
我们要去食品加工区做一个实地考察旅行
we have a field trip to the food processing district.
不是吧 我们要迟到了
Oh, man, we're late!
春田购物中心
*这个城市*
* This town *
第六频道 派伊实地调查
*是座孤独的城市*
* Is a lonely town *
罗德·莱温受限生活
*不是唯一个城市...*
* Not the only town... *
你真是个幸运的女人
You're a very lucky lady.
不是吧 你被一件衣服给打败了
Really? You're thwarted by a shirt?
没门
Never!
这真是太激动了
This is so exciting...
和我的老侯在男式服装店里
with my Homie in a haberdashers.
我老公需要大改造
My husband needs a complete makeover.
谢谢你 顶着个蜂箱发型的女士
Well, thank you, lady with the beehive hair.
很亲密 但我是异性恋
Intimate but heterosexual.
给你 老兄
Here you are, pal.
老侯
Homie?
宝贝 你和我想到一块去了
Oh, baby, you had the same idea I did.
我可没这么想 但是...
This wasn't my idea, but...
每个人都以为他们是第一个这样做的人
They all think they're the first ones.
春田购物中心
已经为那间拐角的办公室做好准备了
Ready for the corner office.
我觉得自己是疯子先生夫人
I feel like Mrs. Mad Men.
现在我给算算价钱 死肥猪
Now let's get you rung up, lard-ass.
-你刚才叫我什么 -额 是S大人
- What did you call me? - Uh, Lord S.
下次再来
所有有黑色霉点的都打八折
我们现在碰见了一对俊男靓女
Well, we've got a nice- looking couple here.
快走 马姬 快走
Walk away, Marge, just walk away.
我握着我最锋利的钥匙呢
I'm holding my sharpest key.
等下 老侯 他是肯特·布罗克曼
Wait, Homie. It's Kent Brockman.
那个辜负了我们的信任的人
The man who betrayed our trust.
我正在制♥作♥我自己的新闻
I'm producing my own news content now.
你们能为这位无助的主持人
Could you spare a few sound bites
说几句好话吗
for this rudderless anchor?
算了吧 我们只喜欢可以信任的新闻人
Forget it. We only like newspeople we can trust.
并没有这样的新闻人
So no newspeople!
好吧 我遇到了更大的难题
Oh, well, I have bigger problems.
我付不起牙膏钱了 所以今晚十一点
Can't afford toothpaste, so tonight my teeth will have...
就播出我的牙齿的影片
film at 11:00.
阿壳食品 保证尝到欢乐
再见
Adios!
别担心 阿壳最喜欢的数字
Don't worry, Krusty's favorite number
就是他写的笑话数
is how many jokes he's written.
哇 水培园艺
Wow! Hydroponic gardening.
有机肥料
Organic fertilizer.
也许我错怪阿壳了
Maybe I was wrong about Krusty.
检查员走后请按钮
这个糖散发着化学品的恶臭
This candy is reeking with chemicals!
这次我真希望是自己错了
Just once I'd like to be wrong.
从你日记的内容看 你基本没对过
Well, from what I read in your diary, you're rarely right.
我们要把这些样本拿去化验
We've got to get these samples analyzed.
巴仔 你觉得我们能安全离开吗
Bart, do you think we'll get out of here safely?
我觉得警卫根本不是问题
I think the guard's no problem.
出口
[鼾声]
Z, z, z-z-z.
[鼾声*2]
Z, z, z-z-z.
[鼾声*3]
Z, z, z-z-z.
我们的车来了
Here comes our ride.
我叫了青年优步
I called UberKid.
请上车
Please get in.
要瓶装水吗 或者薄荷糖 随便拿
You want bottled water? Mints? Take.
你的口音好逗
Your accent is so interesting.
你是哪人
Where are you from?
拉脱维亚的小镇 你肯定不知道
Uh, small town in Latvia. You don't know it.
说说看嘛
Well, I'd like to hear.
你怎么这么爱交朋友
Why do you have to make friends with everyone?
各种奖杯
丰功伟绩付诸东流
So much great work for naught.
肯特 作为你的经纪人
Kent, as your agent,
我肯定会帮你找到工作的
I promise we will find you something,
不然肯定会放弃你
or so help me, we will drop you.
我保证
That's a promise.
你能让我重回福克斯新闻吗
Well, could you, uh, get me on Fox News?
那你愿意称自己为自♥由♥主义者
Would you be willing to call yourself a liberal
并且没商量的权利吗
and lose every discussion?
完全不容商量吗
Every single one?
好了 你问题太多了
Okay, you've already asked too many questions.
提议取消
The offer's dead.
春田核电站
抱歉
微波炉里外菜莫入
*策马那个扬鞭*[《Dark Horse》]
*Empower your horse*
*穿越烈日心间*[《California Gurls》]
*Right through the sun*
*用枪射出一道彩虹*[《Firework》]
*Blast a rainbow light from your empowerment gun*
你这首歌♥是要送给水果姐吗
So, you're gonna get this to Katy Perry?
我可没这么说
I never said that.
伙计们 发现我变样了没
Hey, guys. Notice anything different?
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