辛普森一家
The Simpsons S28E16
Part 3
Feb. 2, 2020, 12:09 p.m.
Are you happy with your romantic life?
我过去的问题就是太满意了
My problem used to be too much satisfaction.
我们听过很多次了
We hear that a lot.
但最近却不复从前了
But I'm afraid not so much lately.
你会愉悦自我吗
Do you self-gratify?
会 除了打手♥枪♥其他的事情我都会做
Yes. I do everything but masturbate.
这一切始于我们的孩子去了家便宜夏令营
You know, this all started with our poor kids traumatized
然后有了心理创伤
by a budget summer camp.
很多完美的婚姻都毁于孩子之手
So many perfect marriages ruined by kids.
我总告诉他们并不是孩子的错
We tell them it's not their fault,
当然了 一切其实就是怪孩子
when, of course, it's always their fault.
你们必须将自己的孩子送回夏令营
What you must do is return your children to this camp
让他们直面心中的魔鬼
and face down their demons.
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
当你不想着性的时候 你能做到的事情就多了
There's so much more you can do when you don't think about sex.
这就是为什么尼姑都如此成功的原因
That's why nuns are so successful.
你必须让孩子们重回夏令营
You have to take the kids back to that camp.
好吧 总比带他们出去玩好
Well, it beats hanging out with them.
如果你们愿意 我们要请一位怪人进来
Now, if you'll excuse us, ?we have some deviants coming in.
嗨 里面有人吗
Hello? Anybody here?
我把我的女人带来了
Yeah, I brought my lady.
她曾经是超♥市♥门口的
She used to be the helicopter ride
小飞机玩具椅
in front of the supermarket.
时间到了
Oh, uh, just finished.
好 怪人走了
All right, deviant out.
我的孩子们一团糟
My kids are a mess.
而侯默却变成了我一直梦寐以求
Homer's turned into the man I've always wanted,
却不想真的在一起的男人
which I don't really want.
不知怎么 我们正前往阿壳营地
And for some reason, we're going back to Kamp Krusty.
距离阿壳营地还有五个微笑[五英里]
阿壳营地 成人休假地
这地方怎么了
What happened to this place?
这些人学古罗马人
People are wearing terrycloth bathrobes
穿着浴袍
like they're ancient Romans.
其实 更像马其顿人
Actually, more like Macedonians.
来吧 小鹿和小猪
All right, come on, deer and pig.
该让你们交♥配♥再打架到死了
It's time for you to mate and then fight to the death.
这地方到底怎么了
What happened to this place?
阿壳找到了法子
Krusty cut his losses
与卡利古拉国际家庭娱乐合作减少了亏损
by partnering with Caligula's World Family Entertainment.
卡利古拉是残忍♥的罗马帝王三世
他们把这片地重新打造成了成人温泉
They redid the whole place as an adult spa.
我是不是还穿着绶带
Did I leave my sash on?
儿童俱乐部
享受一下孩子不开心时的开心时光
孩子们你们去这里吧
Why don't you kids go in here, and we'll find someone
我们去找个能证明你们以为发生的事情
who can prove to you that what you think happened
其实都没发生过的人
didn't happen.
我们现在干嘛 脱♥光♥
So, what do we do now, get naked?
开玩笑呢 除非你真的想
I'm joking. Unless you want to.
某种意义上来说 我还从没这么正经过
In which case, I've never been more serious.
所以 你怎么想呢
So, um, uh, which is it?
不想脱
Don't want to.
幸好我说了是开玩笑
Ah, good thing I was joking.
*是谁偷了罐子里的曲奇饼*
*Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar*
*是泰勒偷的曲奇饼*
*Tyler stole the cookie from the cookie jar*
*什么 是我*
*What, me*
*是的 就是你*
*Yeah, you*
*不可能*
*Couldn't be*
*那是谁呢*
*Then who*
*是科特尼偷的曲奇饼*
*Courtney stole the cookie from the cookie jar*
我简直听够了 走吧 科特尼
I've heard enough. Let's go, Courtney.
你也走 泰勒
You, too, Tyler.
巴仔 巴仔 现在是我们逃出去的好机会
Hey, Bart, Bart, now's our chance to break out of here.
但我还剩四针就能织完我的隔热手套了
But I'm four loops away from finishing my potholder.
烤熟了
现在
Now!
马姬 你知道 原来的我
Marge, you know, it used to be I'd be tempted
会被这些地方所吸引
by every one of these places.
现在我只想知道商务中心在哪里
Now I just want to know where the business center is.
在那边
It's over there.
你可以随便打印免费的登机牌
You can print up all the free boarding passes you want.
我们都不是坐飞机来的
We didn't even fly here.
巴仔 我见过那个棚子
Bart, I've seen that shed before!
我知道你的人生很无聊
Hey, I know your life is boring,
但是你没必要大肆宣传
but you don't have to advertise it.
我记起来了
I'm remembering now.
我们想要乘独木舟逃跑
We were trying to escape by canoe.
回来 所有人都必须要看音乐剧
Come back! Everyone needs to watch the musical!
我们排练了三个小时
We've rehearsed for three hours!
但是还有一个小孩和我们在一起
But there was another kid with us.
你说的没错
You're right!
他的名字叫查理
His name was Charlie.
我之所以忘记了
I forgot
是因为我吸海报油漆上瘾
because I was high on poster paint fumes.
-安静 -我们在激流中翻了船
- Quiet! - We tipped over in the rapids.
天啊 查理没能从河里出来
Oh, my God! Charlie didn't come back up!
看看是谁回来了
Look who's back!
是阿壳同学
Kamp Krusty alumni!
我们有理由相信有人在这营地里被杀了
We have reason to believe that someone was killed in this camp!
就不能会用你好打招呼吗
What happened to hello?
海浪轻拍海岸让我注意力难以集中
Hard to concentrate with waves gently lapping on the shore.
马姬 你确定你要这么做吗
Marge, are you sure you want to do this?
我想我还是想要原来的你
I think I still want the old you.
性♥爱♥
所有人 爬下去 快 快 快
Everyone, down below the belt! Move, move, move!
不要留下任何东西 我们不会回来了
Don't leave anything up here! We will not be back!
演奏一些能让他有感觉的音乐
Play something to put him in the mood!
再快点
Faster!
阿壳营地
安保处
这些孩子想要举报
These children would like to report
一起发生在这里的悲惨案件
a traumatic incident on the property.
什么都不要做
可怜的查理
Poor Charlie.
查理 他是穿了一件红马甲吗
Charlie? Did he have a red vest?
是的 是的
Yes! ?Yes!
你们能保密吗
Can you kids keep a secret?
我能 但是丽莎不能
I can, but Lisa can't.
我说过这事让你给我保密的
I told you that in confidence!
查理 你还活着
Charlie! You're alive!
你还是个成年人 而且是个矮人
And a man, I might add-- a very short man.
他们更愿意被称为"小矮人"
They like to be called "little people."
不是那么愿意
Eh, not that much.
我当时是在为《起航》杂♥志♥做卧底
I was working undercover as a spy for Departures magazine.
他们到处都是
They are everywhere.
总之当独木舟翻了之后 我就逃出来了
Anyway, when the canoe flipped, I made my getaway.
但是你没有穿救生衣
But you didn't have your life vest.
我是成年人 我能游泳
I'm a grown-up! I can swim!
还能投票
And vote!
我的天啊
Oh, my god!
真是个奇迹
It's a miracle.
我想确实是受到了心理创伤
Whoa, I guess I really was traumatized.
但是现在我很高兴一切都没事了
And now I'm glad everything's all right.
一切都会安好
直到"阿壳营地"第52季
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夜间节目排名第一
这么多星星
So many stars.
你有想过宇宙中还有多少世界存在吗 侯默
Ever wonder how many worlds are out there, Homie?
披萨 想吃披萨
Pizza. Want pizza.
还有你
And you.
这才是我的男人
That's my man.
再说今天的第五次 我不是一个跳水台
For the fifth time today, I am not a diving platform!
退役淘汰
接下来福克斯电视台
Next on Fox...
宝贝 宝贝
Baby, baby.
今晚我们无法共赴高♥潮♥
Tonight's the night we're not gonna get it on.
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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