辛普森一家

The Simpsons S28E09

Part 3 Feb. 2, 2020, 12:06 p.m.

乘客们请注意
Attention, bus riders!
这是我通过一系列复杂的社会学算法
My new seating plan avoids conflict
得出的避免产生矛盾的新座次表
through the use of complex social algorithms.
组成能共处的同座
It teams up compatible seatmates
让苗浩斯单独坐
and places Milhouse with no one.
不知道为什么我还是有点怕怕的
Yet somehow, I'm still a little scared.
奥托你为什么坐在后面
Otto, why are you sitting in back?
等着安排座位老大
Waiting for my assignment, chief.
司机的座位啊你是司机
The driver's seat. You're the driver.
还是我啊
Still me?
换汤不换药
New management, same mistakes.
车里真安静以前根本听不清音乐
It's so quiet. I've never been able to hear my music before.
真难听
Ooh, it sucks.
这仅仅是开始
This is just the beginning.
很快我就能全面控制他们生活的方方面面
Soon I'll have control over every aspect of their lives.
然后我就能让他们实现从没想过的梦想
And then I'll make them achieve their un-dreamt dreams.
雪莉挨着特丽
Sherri next to Terri.
金宝挨着多尔夫
Jimbo next to Dolph.
苗浩斯单独坐
No one next to Milhouse.
拉尔夫挨着他的隐形朋友
Ralph next to his invisible friend.
科尔尼挨着内尔森
Kearney next to Nelson.
马丁挨着温德尔
Martin next to Wendell.
余弦挨着数据库
Cosine next to Database.
我的初次十三禁幻想
My first PG-13 fantasy.
鉴于还没能庭外和解
Since we haven't been able to get a settlement,
我们需要着手准备您的庭上证词了
we'll have to start preparing you for your deposition.
卡洛琳将会代替对方的律师
Caroline here will stand in for the opposing attorney.
下午好伯恩斯先生
Good afternoon, Mr. Burns.
放猎狗
Release the hounds.
先生您应该试着表现出更友好的风度
Uh, sir, you should try to project a friendlier demeanor.
放猎狗
Release the hounds.
谢谢
Please.
说真的先生不提猎狗
Seriously, sir, it would really be wise
比较明智
not to mention the hounds.
这就像告诉三指布朗
Oh, that's like telling Three-Finger Brown
三指布朗传奇投球手曾效力于布鲁克林顶点队
不能为布鲁克林顶点队效力似的
he can't play for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops.
韦隆现在我明白
Waylon, now I can see
为什么电影里那么多女人都有Gay蜜了
why so many women in movies have gay friends.
像莱娅公主和斯瑞皮欧
Like Princess Leia and C-3PO.
星球大战人物
看我为你做的
Listen, I made this for you.
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
从没有人送过我礼物谢谢你
No one ever gives me a gift. Thank you.
从没有人对我说过谢谢
No one ever tells me thank you.
我想你懂真正的我
I think you see my true self.
我自己都没有注意到的那个我
The one I never pay attention to at all.
老天我想吻他
Oh, my God. I want to kiss him.
老天她想吻我
Oh, my God. She wants to kiss me.
我是个已婚的女人
I'm a married woman.
她一定很合适小胡子
She would look good with a mustache.
伯恩斯先生
史密瑟斯立刻回来
我是说
我得走了
Uh, I've got to go.
感谢上帝我还有个丈夫可用
Thank God I've got a husband with benefits.
过来你
Come here, you.
好不过
Okay, but...
史密瑟斯
Smithers.
等一下
Wait a sec.
马姬从另一个男人那里满足了情感需求
Marge is getting her emotional needs fulfilled by another man,
现在对我只有生理需求
and now she needs me for nothing but sex.
我是世界上最幸运的丈夫了
I'm the luckiest husband in the world!
春田核电站
你还没拿到那个愚蠢的签名吗
You haven't gotten that stupid signature yet?
没有
No.
我觉得我已经不想拿到它了
And I'm not sure I want to.
你违抗我
You defy me?
史密瑟斯给我倒杯水
Smithers, pour me a glass of water.
现在挤压我的胸口
Now squeeze my chest.
要么拿到签名
Now, either get that signature
要么你负责重启我们在切尔诺贝利的车间
or you're in charge of restarting our plant at Chernobyl.
那车间是我们的啊
That was us?
天知地知你知我知
That doesn't leave this room.
老兄准备享受校车上的新一天吧
Well brother, prepare to enjoy another day
冷静的行为和平的氛围
of calm, peaceful behavior on the school bus.
我可警告你
I got to warn you,
很多孩子对固定座位十分不满
a lot of kids are pretty unhappy with the required seating.
好吧等以后连餐厅座位校队人选
Well, they'll be happy when I also organize cafeteria seating,
都归我管时就不会了
who's picked for teams,
包括操场上谁坐秋千谁推秋千我都定了
and I've divided the playground into swingers and pushers.
太变♥态♥了
That's insane.
你为自己赢得了一年的推秋千席位
You just bought yourself a year of pushing.
秩序秩序保持秩序
Order. Order. Maintain order.
隧♥道♥
Tunnel.
悲惨的校车
紧急求救
这条信息再清楚不过了
This message couldn't be clearer.
孩子们的意大利面需要更多的酱
The children need more sauce on their spaghetti.
而且他们的拼写也太差劲了
Also, their spelling is atrocious.
好吧至少我的照片没事
Well, at least I have my photos.
我以为我改善了情况
I thought I had made things better.
丽莎校车本来就是疯狂的
Lisa, the bus is supposed to be crazy.
这是存在于家和学校两场噩梦中间的
It's the brief respite between the twin nightmares
短暂喘息
of home and school.
有一件事百事通并不了解
The one thing a know-it-all doesn't know
就是人人讨厌百事通
is that everyone hates a know-it-all.
有人失踪吗
Did we, uh, lose anyone?
只有警♥察♥局长的儿子
Just the police chief's son.
我咬了一只老鼠
I bit a rat.
马姬我以后不会再来了
Marge, this is the last time I'm coming by.
好吧没关系
Oh. Well, that's fine.
我还可以继续织毛衣
I mean, I do have my knitting to get to.
最好的朋友
我就要去地狱了等待我的无疑只有死亡
I'm going to a living hell followed by a certain death.
你可以用这张照片来怀念我
Here's a picture to remember me by.
这是我祖母临死前给我拍的
Taken by my grandma from her deathbed.
这是她看到的最后画面
The last thing she saw.
怎么了亲爱的
What's wrong, honey?
我觉得我没有可以交谈的朋友
Oh, I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to.
谢谢我很愿意和你聊天
I appreciate that, and I'd like to talk.
只是在我和孩子们度过愉快时光后有点累了
I'm just so drained after all the time I spend with the kids.
什么时光
What time?
我带你去了那个殖民地村庄
I took you to that colonial village.
那是机场旁边的酒吧
That was a pub at the airport.
我喝了麦芽酒而你坐了酒桶那就是殖民地
I had an ale. You sat on a barrel. That makes it colonial.
侯默我很抱歉但你必须要理解
Homer, I'm sorry, you have to understand.
没了韦隆这个朋友我觉得很孤单
Without Waylon to talk to, I feel completely alone.
我完全理解
I totally get it.
有一个问题谁是韦隆
One question: who's Waylon?
史密瑟斯
Smithers.
完全理解
Totally get it.
我老婆很需要某样东西
Oh, my wife really needs something and to get it
为了得到他我恐怕要放弃我的和解
I may have to forego my settlement.
侯默你从活板门里掉进了水泥搅拌机
Homer, you fell down a trapdoor into a cement mixer.
难道你不觉得我应该得到补偿吗
Don't you think I deserve something for that?
我只想做对的事情
I'm just trying to do what's right.
那你为什么要提起诉讼
Then why did you file a lawsuit?
我真的觉得你应该更换审判地先生
I really think you should change the venue, sir.
你在这个镇上是赢不了官司的
You can't win a case in this town.
他们还因为我吃掉了熊猫而生气吗
Oh, are they still mad about me eating the town panda?
都多早的事情了
Get over it.
等等等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
只要你答应我一个条件我就签协议
I'm willing to sign anything you want on one condition.
好的你的条件是什么