辛普森一家
The Simpsons S28E08
Part 1
Feb. 2, 2020, 12:05 p.m.
《辛普森一家》
第二十八季第八集
我要不眠不休看完六百集
三天没有事故了
有人吗
Hello? Hello?
电视遥控器终于归我管了
Oh, finally, I get the remote.
侯默 你打算什么时候把这些东西安好
Homer, are you ever planning on putting this stuff together?
我看完这片就弄
Sure, right after I watch this DVD.
你看的东西
Just what are you watching
有那么重要吗
that's so important?
大学杰出吉祥物大赛
Outstanding College Mascot Fights?
大会剪辑版
S.E.C. Edition.
头重脚轻的吉祥物总是输
The top-heavy mascots always lose.
除非它们跟没胳膊的打
Unless they're fighting something with no arms.
看 斯坦福绿树队
See? The Stanford Tree
输给杜兰大学绿浪队了
is no match for the Tulane Green Wave.
里面有人
There's people inside.
马姬 你看到了吗
Marge, do you see?
阿麦
Maggie!
够了 先生
That's it, mister.
你今天就要把这些东西收拾好
You're putting everything together today.
马娇丽
Marjorie,
把所有木匠活
isn't it a little sexist
都给我 是不是有点性别歧视啊
to expect me to do all the carpentry?
你也可以带巴仔去商场试...
Or you can take Bart to the mall to get fitted for...
抱歉 钻的声音太响了
Sorry, the drill is too loud!
我听不见另一个选择
I can't hear the options!
"你完成了"[法语]
"Vous avez 'termine'"?
"你完成了"[法语]
"Vous avez 'termine'"?
"你完成了"[瑞典语]
"Du ar klar"?
"你完成了"[德语]
"Du bist fertig"?
"你完成了"
"You are 'fini-shed'"?
我完成了
Oh, I am finished!
我被卡住了
I'm trapped.
宝贝 快过来
Here, boy. Come here.
谁是乖乖扳手
Who's a good Allen wrench?
你是乖乖扳手
You's a good Allen wrench.
过来
Come here.
快来啊
Come on.
这不是我吞的那个扳手啊
Huh? That isn't the same Allen wrench I swallowed.
巴尼 你咋样啊
Hey, Barney, how's it going?
挺好 你呢
Fine. How are you?
我需要帮忙 你能立刻过来一下吗
I need help. Can you come right over?
侯默 你应该用家务猴软件
Homer, you should use the Choremonkey app.
上面的人什么活都做
People do all your chores,
你就有时间追逐梦想了
so you're free to follow your dreams.
我现在的梦想就是有啤酒和厕纸
My dream right now is beer and toilet paper.
岗保先生 我是个正经人
Mr. Gumble, because I'm a decent person,
这是我最后一次给你买♥♥酒了
this is the last beer I'm going to bring you.
那我就用优酒
I'll just use Uburp.
别咬我 我还没死呢
Stop eating me, I'm not dead yet!
家务猴来帮忙啦
Choremonkey to the rescue.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我觉得这是依赖症的开端了
I think this is the beginning of an unhealthy dependence.
*干家务的我就是个傻子*
*I'm a fool to do my dirty work*
*我能雇这些蠢货*
*I can hire all these nerdy jerks*
*免费帮我做*
*For free*
*我再也不做家务了*
*I ain't gonna do my dirty work*
*再也不*
*No more*
*我要把臭袜子 脏衬衫*
*Gonna leave my socks and dirty shirt*
*都扔在地上*
*On the floor*
老侯
Homie,
我不喜欢家里
I don't like that the house
总是有那么多陌生人
is full of strangers all the time.
我... 等等 你为什么要拿手♥机♥
And I-- wait, wait, why are you taking out your phone?
不许用家务猴对付我
No. Don't you Choremonkey me!
亲爱的 你知道我不擅长吵架
Sweetie, you know I'm no good at arguments,
所以我请专家来吵
so I brought in a professional.
你好 女士 我是布莱克
Hello, ma'am, my name's Blake,
我是联调局的前人♥质♥谈判专家
and I'm a retired FBI hostage negotiator.
我觉得这事跟人♥质♥没什么关系
I wouldn't say this is a hostage situation.
没人说有关系啊 女士
Mm, no one said it was, ma'am.
我只是来倾听你的诉求
I'm just here to listen.
这是第一步 倾听
So that was step one: listening.
下一步 共鸣
Next, empathy.
你知道我就站在这里吗
I'm standing right here, you know.
那我把你当成透明一样说话
Mm, it must be frustrating for you to hear me talk
你肯定很沮丧
like you're invisible.
是啊 是啊
It is. It is.
第三步 我要跟她融洽起来
Step three: I build a rapport.
我好喜欢你家的色调
You know, I love the color scheme in your home.
我觉得你刚说了 你要跟我关系融洽起来
I feel like you're saying that just to build a rapport with me.
非常善于观察
Wow, that's very observant.
好聪明
Very wise.
谢谢
Oh, well, thank you.
做得好
Nice.
又不是第一次了
This ain't my first rodeo.
马姬 现在
Marge, right now
我敢打赌你想回到家里的厨房♥
I bet you wish you were just back home in your kitchen.
我就在家里的厨房♥啊
I am back home in my kitchen!
那生活很美好
Then life is good.
我说得对吗
Am I right?
确实
You are.
既然我来了 我能帮你把制冰机修好吗
While I'm here, could I also fix your icemaker?
可以
Yes.
好啊
Oh, yes.
布莱克 我爱死你了
Blake, I adore you.
嘘 现在没事了
Shh. It's over now.
去休息吧
Go get some rest.
候默 我们来玩抛接球吧
Homer, can we throw the ball around?
我说的"我们"是指我和你的家务猴
By "We," I mean me and your chore monkey.
当然了 那是自然 伙计
Oh, of course! Sure, buddy.
你的话我得找个没有犯罪记录的
For you I'll get one without a criminal record.
这意味着我得使用黄金家务猴了
Which means I'll have to use Choremonkey Gold.
好球 巴仔
Good one, Bart.
等下 你是海斯曼杯冠军马特·莱纳特吗
Wait, are you Heisman Trophy-winner Matt Leinart?
对 我就是
Yep, I am.
你还用在这工作吗
And you need this job?
对啊 打完球后我没能好好理财
Yeah, I haven't really been smart with my money after football.
那你的主持工作呢
But what about your broadcasting work?
钱都砸进我的泰国爱尔兰融合餐厅了
Uh, sunk it all into my Thai-Irish fusion restaurant,
三叶草香料
Shamrock Spice.
三叶草香料
感谢超棒的两周
好事是 他教会了我怎么抛出完美的螺旋球
On the plus side, he taught me how to throw a perfect spiral.
没错
Yes!
有力的平直球 小伙子
Frozen rope, kiddo!
爱你
Love you, man.
我也爱你
I love you.
也许我该陪我儿子玩下接球了
Maybe I should play a little catch with my son now.
随你便 候老板 看看你的身手如何
Whatever, Hoss, let's see what you got.
我的百日菊
My zinnias!
不就是个一年生植物嘛
Annuals.
等下 让我再试试
Wait, please, just let me try again.
老爸 你让我在马特·莱纳特面前很没面子
Dad, you're embarrassing me in front of Matt Leinart.
可是...
But...
你给我做了这个吗
You made that for me?
不是 这是O.J.之前的球衣
No, it used to be O.J.'s.
O.J.辛普森 美国前橄榄球跑锋 外号♥"果汁"
没错 小果汁
Yeah, Little Juice.
该死的家务猴
Oh, stupid Choremonkey.
我又做了件用力过猛自食其果的事情
Another thing I overdo bites me in the butt.
你来晚了
You're late.
先生 您没有指定时间
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
剧集 | 辛普森一家 | 导航列表