辛普森一家
The Simpsons S28E18
Part 1
Feb. 2, 2020, 12:10 p.m.
辛普森一家
第28季 第18集
学习不是"适宜宅人的文化"
青蛙天堂
乔治 很遗憾你也上来了
George, I'm sorry to see you up here.
的确 但我死有所值
Well, yes, but I died for a worthy cause.
我们讲话这阵子 我的身体即将被
As we speak, my body is about to be dissected
一位初露头角的年轻科学家解剖
by a budding young scientist.
我们来观察一下这位叫做巴仔·辛普森的
Let's observe the dedication to learning
十岁的学者对学习的热忱吧
of this ten-year-old scholar by the name of Bart Simpson.
*戳 戳 戳 戳 戳 死了*
*Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, die*
*戳 戳 死 死 死亡 杀死*
*Stab, stab, die, die, death, kill.*
好吧 不可否认他很有激♥情♥
Well, his passion is undeniable.
是的 非常 非常了不起
Yes, very... very impressive.
通过检查我的标本的幽门括约肌阀
By examining my specimen's pyloric sphincter valve,
我推断出它很喜欢吃果蝇
I deduced that she had an affinity for fruit flies.
通过检查我的标本那恶心的雷鬼头脏辫
By examining my specimen's natty dreads,
我能推断出他是一只玩音乐的塔法里教青蛙
I was able to deduce that he was a jammin' Rasta-frogian.
塔法里教
认为非洲是宗教、历史、文化、科学和技术的起源
我的身体 我那绿绿的小身体
My body, my little green body.
好吧 但他对塔法里主义的描述
Okay, but surely his portrayal of Rastafarianism
会很有文化敏感性
will be culturally sensitive.
把我的雪茄递来
Pass the Dutchie.
一首经典雷鬼歌♥曲
其中Dutchie为用荷兰大♥师♥雪茄包装裹着的大♥麻♥烟
我们会和巴比伦人一起吞云吐雾
We'll be smokin' slabba slabba with the Babylon.
呱呱 呱呱 伙计
Ribbit, ribbit, mon.
走吧 乔治
Come now, George.
至少这位苏格兰墓地管♥理♥员♥
At least this Scottish groundskeeper
会为你的遗体办一个体面的葬礼
will give your remains a respectful burial.
被马桶冲走吧 没用的垃圾青蛙
Into the crapper you go, useless froggy garbage.
你还能把这个忽悠成好的吗
Are you going to put a good spin on that, too?
你能吗
Are you?!
好吧 你可以的吧
Well, are you?
额... 呱呱
Well, uh... ribbit?
成绩单
巴仔·辛普森
这样的成绩我可没法贴在冰箱上
I can't put these grades on the refrigerator.
连车♥库♥冰箱也不行
I can't even put them on the garage refrigerator.
这不是我的错 要怪就怪"泄会"
It's not my fault. I blame "So-key-ity."
什么玩意儿
What?!
泄会
You know, so-key-ity.
大家把什么都怪在它头上
That's what everyone blames for everything.
你说的是"社会"吧
You mean "Society"?
是 就是这个
Yeah, that's the guy.
亲爱的 我知道你是个聪明的孩子
Honey, I know you're a bright boy,
但如果你不在学校好好学习
but if you don't try harder in school,
你就会...
you could end up...
吃煤的
...不成功的
...not a success.
这样啊 别担心 妈
Oh, that. Don't worry, Mom.
只要我站在街角
As long as I can stand on a corner
转着个牌子 上面写上"新公♥寓♥"
and spin a sign reading "New condos,"
就都没问题啦
I'll be just fine.
你不停地走来走去也救不了那个孩子
All that pacing isn't gonna fix the boy.
给他点药吃不就好了
Just get him some pills.
两片粉红色一片蓝色的 一切都迎刃而解了
Two pinks and a blue, and it's off to the races.
我们在巴仔身上用的法子都没起作用
Everything we've tried with Bart has failed.
如果我们拿他没办法了怎么办
What if there's nothing we can do?
"拿他没办法"总比
"Nothing we can do" is a whole lot better
"倾尽我们所有"要好得多
than "It'll take all we've got."
我在想有没有人在网上教人怎么为人父母
I wonder if anyone talks about parenting online.
口歌♥
我在想有没有人在网上教人怎么为人父母
1500亿条结果
看看这个
Look at this one!
缺陷儿童的迷思
他们在滑雪
They're skiing.
他们在滑雪说明他们很开心
Skiing means happy.
一位要宣传自己的新书的专家
An expert with a new book to promote.
我想知道她会不会愿意为大家开一场收费演讲
I wonder if she'd be willing to speak to a group for a fee.
联♥系♥方式
今晚 使你的孩子走向成功
春田小学
《缺陷儿童的迷思》
让你的孩子建立一条
Getting your child established
通往成功的道路并不简单
on the path to success isn't easy.
我刚开车从训鹰锦标赛上接我的女儿
I was driving my daughter from her falconry tournament
去上琵琶课 她转向我问道...
to lute class when she turned to me asked...
...也就是普通话的"你怎么做"
...which is Mandarin for, "How do you do it?"
我和她都在学普通话
She and I are learning Mandarin.
清楚·霍夫曼·劳斯博士
回答是...
The answer?
正向强化
Positive reinforcement.
最近研究表明 这只老鼠
In a recent study, this mouse was denied food
找不到迷宫出口我们就不给它吃的
whenever he failed to find his way through a maze.
最后这只老鼠死了... 死于自卑
The mouse ended up dying... of low self-esteem.
我做过一个噩梦 巴仔就是这个下场
I had a nightmare where that happened to Bart,
但我从没向你提起过
but I never told you about it.
我就爱你什么都藏在心里
I love it when you don't tell me things.
这只老鼠
This mouse was given food
无论能不能通过迷宫都会给它吃的
whether he got through the maze or not.
而今年秋天 他就将进哈佛的实验室
And this fall, he'll be in a lab at Harvard.
自卑会降低你的孩子成功的几率
Low self-esteem can cripple your child's chances of success.
解决办法就是 表扬
The cure: praise.
表扬
表扬能使他们重拾信心
Praise they can hold in their hands.
证书 勋表 是的 甚至是奖杯
Certificates, ribbons and, yes, even trophies.
奖杯
Trophies.
答案就是这么简单
So that's the easy answer.
如果拉尔斐说自己是冠军
If Ralphie's shelf says he's a winner,
他就会成为冠军
then he'll be one!
莫高喊她也是其中一员
And Moe yells a third thing to feel part of the group!
没错 奖杯 这就是巴仔需要的
Yes! Trophies-- that's what Bart needs.
我们这样就能拯救他了
This is how we save him.
给巴仔一个奖杯吗 什么奖杯
Give Bart a trophy? What for?
卧室墙上最多鼻屎奖吗
Most boogers wiped on a bedroom wall?
现在还有这种奖了吗
They're giving trophies for that now?
我为这个国家感到悲哀
I weep for this country.
巴仔的未来正处于紧要关头
Bart's future is at stake.
再说了 我已经厌倦了春田一再错过
Besides, I'm tired of Springfield missing out
每个教育趋势
on every parenting trend,
比如产假和尿布期
like the time-out and the diaper.
我小时候从没得过奖杯
I never got a trophy when I was a kid,
结果我...
and I turned out just...
还不错
...fine.
他是我儿子 他会平白无故得到一个奖杯
He's my son, and he's getting a trophy for nothing.
听到了吗 平白无故
You hear me? For nothing!
早上好
Good morning.
我的独特小冠军怎么样啦
How's my special little winner?
你是怎么做到把这东西放床上还没吵醒我的
How'd you get that thing in my bed without waking me up?
因为你是一位沉睡冠军
Because you're a champion sleeper.
这太离谱了
It's the craziest thing.
她不会放弃那个孩子的
She will not give up on that kid.
奖杯可以激励自尊心
Trophies can boost self-esteem.
如果奖杯的确是赢来的 像我那样
If you actually win them, like I did.
最少碳足迹奖 年度纠察队奖
吃豆腐热狗大赛冠军 拼字竞赛冠军
但只是给不劳而获的雕像有什么意义呢
But what's the point of just handing out unearned statues?
还有小雕像们
And statuettes.
根本就是浪费好骗的家长们的钱
Well, it's just a waste of gullible parents' money.
浪费好骗的家长们的钱
Waste of gullible parents' money.
好骗的家长们的钱
Gullible parents' money.
钱 钱
Money. Money.
最佳点子
都过来吧 每个孩子都是赢家
Step right up! Every kid's a winner!
美国奖杯乐园
盛大开业
花得越多 爱得越深
The more you spend, the more you love!
我以为你认同奖杯应该是赢来的
I thought you agreed that trophies should be earned.
我在赢取自然届的奖杯 钱
I'm earning nature's trophy: money.
记住了 伙计们
Remember, folks.
辛普森一家
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