辛普森一家
The Simpsons S28E02
Part 3
Feb. 2, 2020, 12:04 p.m.
When did salad get so awful?
甘蓝毁了一切
Kale ruined everything.
你就跟男人似的
You're just like a guy.
很有趣 还喜欢吃垃圾食品
You're funny, you like to eat crap.
我能问点私事吗
If I may get personal,
-你的保龄球平均分多少 -212
- what's your bowling average? - 212.
老天 你是我最好的朋友
Oh, my God, you're my best friend!
没别的 只是朋友
And that's all. Just friends.
我们等着瞧
Eh, we shall see.
有一项测试检测情侣从不失败
There is one test for a-romance that never fails.
请享用
Enjoy it.
那不是爱
That is not a-love!
这是最好的 我们是朋友
This is the best... we're friends,
没人有理由烦心
no one has any reason to get upset,
没人会伤心
and no one gets hurt.
敬没人会伤心
To no one getting hurt.
跳跃剪接到马姬
Smash-cut to Marge!
"看啊 老蒙 我们的总统女儿
"Look, Monty, our daughter, the president,
马姬·辛普森舞台
正在演说"
is delivering her speech."
打断一下 我何时能说笑话
Excuse me, do I ever get a joke?
继续录
Keep rolling.
"副总统先生 议长女士 中国领主
"Mr. Vice President, Madam Speaker, Chinese Overlords,
许多年前 我们的男祖宗 女祖宗"
years ago, our forefathers, and foremothers..."
按剧本读
Stick to the script!
你们真是一群毫无演技的野猩猩
Oh, you try to give direction to a bunch of land apes
完全配不上那些乒乓球
who aren't worth the ping-pong balls
导的我简直要气绝身亡
stuck to their untalented asses!
白♥痴♥ 骗子
Idiots! Mountebanks!
笨蛋 懦夫
Featherwits! Poltroons!
圣弗朗西斯也会气得呕吐
Saint Francis himself would vomit with rage!
好了 听到他的话了吧 大伙
Okay, you heard him, people.
很棒 只需稍加活力
That was great, just a little more energy.
先生 我知道你很受挫
Sir, I know you're getting frustrated,
所以我们录了一些未来的剧情
so we recorded some future scenarios.
好 来看看我老了生活会是什么样
Yes, let's see what life will be like when I'm old.
我将和男朋友肖恩一起为无家可归的人
I'm going to build homes for the homeless
建造家园
with my boyfriend Sean,
等到秋天就去瓦萨学院
then it's off to Vassar in the fall.
爱尔兰男朋友 帮助无家可归的人
Irish boyfriend? Helping the homeless?
每个家里都有害群之马
Well, every family has one black sheep.
下一段
Let's move on.
这是怎么回事
How did this happen?
别用这种腔调跟我说话
Don't you take that tone with me.
哈佛生
A Harvard man?
他们警告过我会恶心
I was warned there'd be nausea.
我不需要他们 我的生活很完美
I don't need them. My life is perfect.
我的生活很完美
My life is perfect.
49 50 我的生活很完美
49, 50. My life is perfect!
你见到我的加拿大硬币了吗
Have you seen my Canadian penny?
真讨厌 真讨厌 真讨厌
Oh, darn it, darn it, darn it!
都出去 你们被解雇了
Everyone out! You're all fired!
有一个家庭是我能想象到的
Having a family is the most meaningless experience
最无意义的经历
I could imagine.
演更是
Try acting.
快走了 孩子
Come on, kids.
我要带走睡袍
I'm taking my bathrobe.
把衣服里的染色包炸了
There's a dye pack stitched in.
可笑的是你 这样我更喜欢了
Joke's on you. I like this better.
走吧 拿走你的睡袍
Oh, go ahead, take your robe.
但你再也不能出演
But you'll never work in
只给一个人看的虚拟真实家庭剧了
single-viewer virtual reality family melodrama again.
你看到电线杆上吉他课的广♥告♥了吗
Did you see the guitar lessons sign on the telephone pole?
我拿了张吉他谱
I took a tab.
我才不是要去上课
No, I'm not gonna take the lessons,
我只是需要清一下鼻子
I just needed to blow my nose.
我家人来了 先挂了
Ooh, my family's here. Gotta go.
嗨 很高兴见到你们
Hey, guys! It's good to see you.
很高兴见到你 你刚刚在跟谁说话
Hmm. Good to see you. Who were you talking to?
我的朋友茱莉娅
My friend Julia.
-茱莉娅 是个妹子 -她才不是
- Julia? Like a girl? - She's not a girl.
她比你们妈妈年轻三岁
She's three years younger than your mother.
马姬 别紧张
Now, Marge, it's cool.
我们只是分享各自内心深处的想法和情感而已
All we do is share our deepest thoughts and feelings.
孩子们 麻烦你们出去一下
Kids, could you leave the room, please?
快点
Faster!
快速滑道
Geronimo!
马姬 真的没什么 她不过是我的新死党
Marge, it's nothing. She's just my new best friend.
搞什么...你对那些鸡蛋生气做什么
What the... Why... Why are you mad at those eggs?!
它们是无辜的
They didn't do anything!
侯默·辛普森
Homer Simpson!
我忍♥了你这么多年
After all I've put up with for all these years,
如果我不是你的死党 那我们还结婚做什么
if I'm not your best friend, what is this marriage about?!
好吧 好吧 你是我的死党
Okay, okay, you're my best friend.
我只是会在生你气的时候给她打电♥话♥而已
She's just somebody I call when I'm mad at you.
我是说 我从来没生过你的气
I mean, I'm never mad at you.
好吧 有的时候我会生你的气
Well, sometimes I'm mad at you.
就一点点 但我不该打电♥话♥给她的
A little bit! But I shouldn't call her.
我应该在老谋子酒馆借酒浇愁的
I should just drink it off at Moe's.
你以后绝对不会再听到茱莉娅这个名字
You'll never hear the name Julia again.
嗨 我是茱莉娅
Hi, I'm Julia.
我只是想过来做个自我介绍
I just wanted to introduce myself
告诉你 你的老公真的很棒
and tell you you've got a great husband.
我有辆很棒的自行车呢 但我都会把它锁好
I've got a nice bicycle, too, but I keep a lock on it.
我没有兴趣...骑你的自行车
I have no interest in... riding your bike.
我只想让你知道 你的自行车很爱你
But I want you to know that your bike loves you
尽它的一切在爱你
as truly as a bike can.
马姬 我对你的爱和那辆自行车一样
And, Marge, I love you as much as that bike.
-你就是那辆自行车 -什么
- You are the bike. - Wha...?!
对不起 对不起
I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
很显然 你并没有做错任何事
Apparently, you didn't do anything wrong.
但我生你的气也不是无理取闹
But I'm not wrong for getting mad at you either.
马姬 茱莉娅教会了我很多有用的事
Marge, Julia taught me lots of stuff that could help us.
比如说 我发现你每次发现我
For example, I realize that when you see me
在做蠢事
doing something stupid
却不来批评我
and you don't say anything about it, you know,
你只是不想凶我
and you're just being nice.
-那倒是真的 -如果有些事情让你心烦
- That's true. - And when something's bothering you,
有些时候我应该直接说
sometimes I should just say,
"我懂的" 而不是努力去修正它
"I understand," instead of trying to fix it.
因为你需要的只是一个明白你的感受的人
Because all you really need is someone to know what you're feeling.
这真的是太贴心了
That is really, really lovely.
我要坦白 我确实在屋顶上看到他裸体了
I have to confess, I did see him naked on the roof.
我也看到了 我那时还在三千米的高空呢
I did, too, and I was at 10,000 feet.
现在该放最终的幻想了
Now for the final fantasy.
我的爱人啊 我的爱人
Oh, my love, my love,
你为何在如此年轻 如此英俊时就要离去
losing you so young, so beautiful.
还是没有笑话
Still no jokes.
我爱你 还有 怎么会这样
I love you, and how.
你这么善良 不该就这么离去的
You're too good for heaven, man.
很好
Excellent.
欢迎 老蒙
Welcome, Monty.
我想和你拍张自♥拍♥
I'd like to take a selfie with you.
好 不过就一张
All right, but just one.
呃...这玩意没接上
Hmm, it's not plugged in.
几年后
西摩·史金纳
辛普森一家
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