辛普森一家

The Simpsons S28E06

Part 3 Feb. 2, 2020, 12:05 p.m.

Yeah, Wiggles has great dancers,
但他们有点高傲
but they're kind of stuck up,
脱衣舞迷网是这么说的
if you believe Lap-Aficionado.Com.
我是信的
Which, uh... I do.
我为什么要去脱衣舞俱乐部
Why would I want to go to a strip club?
我家有性感娇妻
I'm married to a naked lady.
开车去蓝钻宝石只需39分钟
Drive time to Sapphire Diamond is only 39 minutes.
这算是一天里最快的了
That's the fastest it's been all day.
等等...38分钟
Hey, wa... 38 minutes!
听我说柯克我是那种
Listen, Kirk, I'm a lot of kind of guys...
爱喝酒
A booze guy,
不知道孩子生日
a don't-know-my-kids'- birthdays guy,
从旅馆顺走吹风机的人
a steal-the-blow-dryer- from-the-motel guy,
但我不是那种去脱衣舞俱乐部的人
but I am not a strip club guy.
你是想我和一起玩的对吧哥们
You do want to hang with me, don't you, buddy?
我办不到
I can't do it.
我无法再假装和他是朋友了
I can't pretend to be this guy's friend for one more second.
我今天进了三个球
I scored three goals today!
我是运动健将运动健将
I'm a jock. A jock!
赛前握手的时候我没有往手心吐唾沫
I didn't spit on my hand for the post-game handshake.
哥们我也不喜欢柯克
Hey, pal, I don't like Kirk either,
可是你看孩子们多开心
but look how much fun the kids' heads are having.
我当然愿意和你一起玩哥们
Of course I want to hang with you, buddy.
可是看完你推荐给我的威士忌酿造的视频
But, you know, I'm pretty tired from all those YouTube videos
我真的挺累的
you showed me about whiskey making.
酒的颜色源自于木桶
It gets its color from the barrel.
我知道木桶
I know, the barrel.
咱们睡吧
Let's just get some sleep.
好吧
Well, all right.
我想下次我们可以再找点更带感的乐子
Next time we can just rage twice as hard, I guess.
那是什么声音
What the hell is that?
我睡觉离不开白噪音机
I can't sleep without my white noise machine.
生命起源之声
Womb setting.
妈妈我们横扫锦标赛
Mom, we swept the tourney!
我们赢了首都球队
We're playing in the championship against Capital City!
当冠军队的助理教练
How does it feel to be the assistant coach
是一种怎样的体验
of a winning team?
我要去散散步
I'm going for a walk.
亲爱的我为你骄傲
Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.
人们常说
Well, you know what they say,
每个成功的男人背后
behind every successful man
都有一个助理教练
is his assistant coach.
*妻子怎么体会*
*How can a wife understand*
*遇到好兄弟的滋味*
*What it feels like to finally meet a man*
*那只有男人能领会*
*The strongest bond a dude could ever know*
*一个人参加比赛*
*A guy to catch a game with*
*有神队友陪伴*
*A pal you don't feel lame with*
*遇到兄弟那天才开始了我人生*
*Life began the day I found my bro*
*我爱喝两口小酒*
*I'm just a normal boozer*
*不得已和屌♥丝将就*
*Stuck with this lame loser*
猪油小子甜甜圈
*那个白♥痴♥竟然以为我是他兄弟*
*A dweeb that somehow thinks that I'm his bro*
*他的眼睛又小又亮*
*His eyes are small and beady*
*看着你如此粘人*
*Staring, oh, so needy*
*他永远不会知道我多么鄙视他*
*How I despise him he will never know*
*我们可以一起做那么多酷的事情*
*So much cool stuff we can do as a pair*
*他做的任何事都很烦人*
*Everything about him is annoying*
正在看教父真的很好看哈哈哈
刚刚通关了光晕#通宵你生不生气
戏装
*扮成吟游诗人去参加文艺复兴集♥会♥*
*Dress as minstrels at the renaissance fair*
*他闻起来像鱼油药丸*
*He smells like fish oil pills*
机器人地下城漫画书店
*周五在男人洞穴里玩桌上足球*
*Foosball Fridays in my man cave*
*那个服务员真的不喜欢你*
*That waitress was not into you*
春田镇轮胎焚烧厂
*一起设计世界上最棒的*
*Designing the world's best*
*福禄双霸天的粉丝网站*
*Blues Brothers fan page*
福禄双霸天
*他想让我们一起主持奥斯卡派对什么鬼*
*He wants us to co-host an Oscar party, what the hell*
售票处
*我厌恶他的一切*
*I hate everything about him*
*这个粘人碍事的混♥蛋♥*
*This clingy fat-nosed jerk*
*-我很高兴他不能 -希望他能*
*- I'm glad he can't - Wish he could*
*听见我唱的*
*Hear me sing*
*关于这个爱流汗的*
*About this sweaty*
*-了不起的 -鱼油味的*
*- Awesome - Fish oil*
*-了不起的 -我只是假装*
*- Awesome - I was only pretending*
*喜欢的那个笨蛋名叫*
*To like that stupid dork named...*
你好柯克
Oh, hi, Kirk.
春田镇
Springfield,
一个热爱青少年长曲棍球的城市
the city that lives and dies by youth lacrosse,
阿壳汉堡
全身心投入到长曲棍球赛
一种我们五周前刚听说的运动
a sport we first learned about five weeks ago.
只有最强者胜
还有两个小时我们即将与首都球队开战
And with just two hours left until face off against Capital City,
倒计时已经开始
the countdown clock is ticking away.
春田镇长曲棍球场
比赛倒计时
一如既往我会为您提供所有信息
As always, laying out all the information you need to know,
这里是WXPO的管道节目
this is WXPO "The Pipe".
WXPO 470频率管道节目
有请制♥造♥了草坪上这奇迹的人
And now the man responsible for this miracle on grass,
"球线传教士" "米饭倡导者"
the "Priest of the Crease", "The Riceman Cometh,"
K教练
Coach K!
错过这么重要的赛前预热可不像柯克会做的事
It's not like Kirk to miss such an important pre-game rally.
是啊我要认真切橙子了
Yeah, well, better get slicing on these oranges.
市长
教练在哪里
Where is that coach?
如果我们比赛输了
If we lose this game,
我就要给首都市长
I have to give the mayor of Capital City
一箱子春田镇杏子
a crate of Springfield apricots.
我们不种杏子
We grow no apricots!
柯克失踪了
Kirk is missing.
从他开心的离开家
I haven't seen him since he left home
嘴里还唱着你俩友谊之歌♥后我就没有见过他
happily singing about his friendship with you.
老爸你知道些什么
Dad, what do you know?
什么我什么都不知道
What? Nothing!
我不...
I don't... oh, oh...
好吧
All right.
撒谎
事实是你丈夫也就是你父亲
The truth is, your husband and your father
是个烦死人的失败者他发现了
is a soul-sucking loser who found out
我只是为了球队才假装做他的朋友
I was only pretending to be his friend for the sake of the team.
但他为什么要清空我们的银行账户
But, but why did he empty out our bank account,
还把所有的钱都换成一美元纸币
and all in one-dollar bills?
不好
Oh, no.
像柯克这种人要那么多零钱
There's only one thing a man like Kirk wants
只可能有一种用途
with that many singles.
发给穷♥人♥吗
To hand out to the poor?
更糟
Worse.
带去脱衣舞俱乐部
To bring to a strip club.
我去找他
I'll go get him.
-我也去 -不我我
- I'll also get him. - No, me! Me!
我只需要先回家换上我的特殊运动裤
I just need to go home and put on my special sweat pants.
不这是我丈夫的错
No, it's my husband's fault
才让柯克跑到了那种地方去
that Kirk has run off to that jiggle joint
也只有他才能把他找回来
and only he can get him out.
我
Me?
但是那些地方都是变♥态♥
But those places are filled with creeps.
而且那些椅子都是面向舞台的
Plus, all the chairs face the stage.
如果我想和旁边的人聊天呢
What if I want to have a conversation with another patron?
拜托老爸你必须得去
Come on, Dad, you've got to do it!
没有K教练我们没办法参加比赛
Without Coach K, we can't play in the championship!
看看倒计时
Look at the countdown clock.
春田镇长曲棍球场
比赛倒计时
雷的牛排店为你提供倒计时
Countdown clock brought to you by Ray's Steaks
当你想赌两把时