辛普森一家
The Simpsons S28E17
Part 2
Feb. 2, 2020, 12:09 p.m.
Aw, that tears it!
我再也不教了
I'm not coaching anymore!
我要回去干我喜欢的事
I'm going back to what I love doing:
淹地鼠
drowning gophers.
为什么要咬我
What was that for?!
新任教练是一位家长志愿者
Our new coach will be parent-volunteer
也是巴仔的父亲 侯默·辛普森
and Bart owner, Homer Simpson.
你对篮球有了解吗
Do you know anything about basketball?
为什么要换教练
Why the change?
你的篮球哲学是什么
What is your basketball philosophy?
要在家里洗澡 这样就没人笑话你的小黄鸭了
Shower at home so no one makes fun of your weenie.
阿诺德·奥尔巴♥赫♥ 人称“红衣主教” 美国传奇篮球教练员
我从伟大的红衣教主那里学到的
I learned that from the late great Red Auerbach.
提问结束
No more questions!
倒霉
D'oh!
体育馆里干嘛要放个篮球架
What the hell is that thing doing in a gym?!
这就是新教练 各位
Your new coach, everybody!
巴仔有了一个会对他卑躬屈膝的教练
Bart got a coach who would kiss his butt
好像他一半是科比 一半是贾巴尔一样
like one cheek was Kobe and the other Kareem.
"团队"中没有"我"
Well, there is no "I" In "Team."
"努力"中没有"你"
There's no "U" In "Effort."
"狗"中没有"某某"
There's no "X" In "Dog"!
芝麻街布偶中的人物 总是待在垃圾桶里
爱发牢骚的奥斯卡的脚长什么样子
What do Oscar the Grouch's feet look like?
鬼才知道
Nobody knows!
我们放弃了给电视机商店取名字
一台电视送给巴仔·辛普森
I have a TV for Bart Simpson.
就和其他电视放一起吧
Just put it with the others.
我担心他有点被宠坏了
I'm worried he's getting a little spoiled.
这太荒唐了
Oh, that's ridiculous.
高清液晶电视 智能电视 平板电视
抱歉 先生
Excuse me, sir.
巴仔说过未经授权禁止拍照
Bart says no unauthorized photography.
请不要直视他本人
Don't look directly at him!
保安
随着巴仔的炫耀卖♥♥弄越来越夸张
As Bart's showboating veered ever closer to globetrotting,
他也变得越来越无礼
the disrespect grew.
麻烦你帮我洗一下好吗 教练
Can you clean that for me, Coach?
还有这个 这个 这些
And that, and that, and those,
那个和那个
and that, and that.
你瞅啥
What are you looking at?
什么情
What the...?!
春田队
角马队
但是在他过多卖♥♥弄花式投篮后
But after one showboat shot too many,
加油 角马队
侯默·辛普森有了前所未有的感觉 受够了
Homer Simpson had something he'd never had before: enough.
儿子 有些家长在抱怨
Uh, son, some of the other parents are complaining.
显然 他们喜爱自己的孩子
Apparently, they're attached to their children,
想看他们摸到球
and they want to see them touch the ball.
拍集体照的时候可以让他们拿着球
They can touch it in the team photo.
我要设计一个战术
I'm going to draw up a play.
由你来传球
One where you pass.
你怎么不去设计下身体♥检♥查 你个老晕瓜
Why don't you pass a physical, you boozy bag of goo.
马姬说的没错 你被宠坏了
Marge is right. You're getting spoiled!
在掐死我之前 或许你应该看看计分板
Before you strangle me, maybe you should check the scoreboard.
巴仔 客队
我是你老爸 也是你教练
I'm your dad and your coach.
而且因为没人愿意当 所以还是你教父
And because no one else would, your godfather.
去给我坐板凳上
So hit the bench!
现在我们回到了故事有趣的部分
When we return, the interesting part.
从现在起 你要成为一名团队球员
From now on, you're going to be a team player.
你和大家平起平坐
No more important than anyone.
除了苗浩斯
Except Milhouse.
我能进队伍是因为球是我的
I'm on the team 'cause it's my ball.
于是有人开始注意到了巴仔的忧愁
Certain people had begun to notice bart's unhappiness.
一个有犯罪背景的人
People with criminal backgrounds.
阿壳
他们创下的纪录超过了多莉·帕顿
They had more records than Dolly Parton.
老天 这个笑话流传至今
Man, that is a joke that keeps on giving.
名字笑话
必须删除一个
美国第四十一届副总统
丹·奎尔 删除
这会让我心碎 但是
This is gonna break my heart, but...
那孩子被利用来犯罪的机会成熟了
Yeah, the kid was ripe for criminal exploitation.
在本镇上 其他警♥察♥都糟透了
And in this town, the other cops are pathetic.
又肥又懒 你想认识一位吗
Fat, lazy. You want to find one?
跟着吸奶昔的声音去寻找
Just follow the sound of a milkshake being sucked.
通缉
没有合适我的腰带
There's no belt that fits me.
我腰上围的是警用胶带
I'm wearing police tape around my waist.
我看那个孩子挺失落 就带他去吃奶酪卷了
I saw the kid was upset, so I took him for cannoli.
马里昂·东胖子·达米哥
最诚实的商人
这算不上犯罪
That's not a crime.
你根本不懂什么是犯罪
You don't know what a crime is.
黑♥手♥党♥律师
我了解的那种犯罪可不是这样
Not that I'd know what a crime is.
你一直窸窸窣窣说什么呢
What's with all the psst-psst-psst?
你是说话漏风吗 还是你想变得漏风
Have you sprung a leak, or do you want to?
我认为这样说话是不明智的
I don't think that's advisable to say that.
我刚被告知我是开玩笑的
I've been told I was just kidding.
东胖子 享用美味哒奶酪卷吧 我请客
Fat Tony, enjoy this-a cannoli on-a the house.
就像在吃天使的骨髓一样
It's like eating the bone-a marrow of an angel.
他们聊了聊生活和篮球
They talked about life and basketball,
东胖子一直喜欢篮球
a game Fat Tony had always loved.
篮球就像生活
Basketball is just like life.
由法庭[球场] 枪击[投篮]和警卫[防守]组成
It's filled with a court, shooting and guards.
篮球一点都不像生活
Basketball is nothing like life.
东胖子看到了突破口 抓住了机会
Fat Tony saw an opening, and he took it.
联邦调查局监控录像带
如果你对你♥爸♥爸不满
我知道一个方法能让他不爽
不会有人受到伤害的 对吧
不会的
这是计划中唯一的遗憾
嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿
就在他的下场比赛中
And at his next game,
巴仔的行为十分奇怪
Bart did a very odd thing.
春田队仅有一分微弱的优势
And with Springfield up by a meager one point,
而明星防卫巴仔·辛普森却一直在运球
star guard Bart Simpson is just dribbling,
时间仅剩两分钟 他并没有出手投篮
he's not shooting, with two minutes to go.
不知为何 侯默因为吃毛巾重了十二磅
I don't know how, but Homer gained 12 pounds chewing towels.
我把果冻放在毛巾上了
I put jelly on 'em.
时间到
Time expired!
巴仔不知道 但是他在操纵比分
Bart didn't know it, but he was point shaving.
就是说球员赢了比赛
That's when a player wins the game,
但同时确保了他的队伍只是险胜
but makes sure his team doesn't cover the spread.
春田小学 谢尔比维尔
最终比分
球队开心 赌徒开心 人人都是赢家
The team's happy, the gamblers are happy, everybody wins.
唯一不开心的就是像我这样
The only unhappy person is someone like me,
需要解释这一切的人
who has to explain the thing.
好吧 至少你们准许我演奏萨克斯风
Well, at least you'll let me play my saxophone.
画面切得真及时
Good thing you cut that song.
你们知道我有次坐火车中途穿过了克利夫兰吗
Did you know I once took a train halfway across Cleveland?
这不是个视频恶作剧
This is not a video trick.
他是真的没动
He really just stopped moving,
但是巴仔才刚刚开始
but Bart had just gotten started.
春田镇日报
亲密的会面
春田镇日报
黑♥手♥党♥老大说唱一绝
每日卫报
不良学生说唱一绝
你一不小心可就成从犯了
You could be an accessory to a crime, you know.
你真的要让你对爸爸的愤怒
Are you letting your anger at dad
把你变成一个黑帮的替罪羊吗
make you into a patsy for the mob?
巴仔·辛普森不是任何人的替罪羊
Hey, Bart Simpson is nobody's patsy.
巴仔 东胖子说要在低于六分之前赢
Hey, Bart, Fat Tony says to win by less than six points.
这些分数都可以接受
Here's a list of acceptable point differentials.
比如五 四 三...
It could be five, four, three...
你知道坐在你们面前的是
You realize you're having this conversation
一位记者吧
in front of a reporter.
我没看见什么记者
Hey, I don't see no reporter.
我只看到一个空想没朋友的小女孩
I see a little girl with futile dreams of fitting in.
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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