明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project S04E08
Part 4
April 29, 2021, 1:58 p.m.
A useless degree and French literature
一个没用的学位和法国文学课
four years of regrettable Facebook photos.
还有四年来积攒的丑爆的Facebook相片
How's it going? He is killing it.
进行得怎么样了 他简直棒呆了
Jody's a totally captivating performer,
Jody是个相当有魅力的演讲家
and the audience isn't nervous for him when he's on stage
他站在台上的时候观众不会为他紧张
like they are with you.
不像你
Yeah, he actually is pretty good.
是啊 他确实挺不错的
Thank you for coming today.
谢谢在座各位的聆听
Are there any questions I can answer?
有什么问题吗
I have a question. Yes, miss.
我有个问题 请讲 小姐
Why did you have sex with me
既然你和我们宿舍的其他三个女生都睡过
if you were also having sex with three other girls in my dorm?
为什么还要和我上♥床♥
Nope, I was right the first time. He's a bad guy.
不 我一开始说的是对的 他就是个大坏蛋
He can bail himself out. Recover, recover.
他一定能全身而退 救场 救场啊
He slept with me too.
他也跟我睡过
Me, too. How could you do that?
我也是 你怎么能干出这种事
Maddie and I are roommates. We share a Brita.
麦迪和我是室友 我们共用一个水壶的
It's true, I have made love to a lot of you.
确实是这样 我和你们中很多人打过炮
Distract them.
分散她们的注意力
Please, if you'd hold on... No, no, no. Nobody move.
拜托 请等一下 不不不 谁都别动
Don't leave.
别走
Prepare to be amazed and distracted
下面请欣赏
as I, Morgan Fairchild Tookers do something I've never done:
我 Morgan Fairchild Tookers 从来没做过的绝技
Nail a backflip.
完成一个后空翻
That's who you've been having erotic exploits with?
你的浪漫情史里就是这些人
These college girls?
大学女生
Yes, but the silver lining is that
是的 但是往好的方面看
by making love with Maddie and her dorm mates
通过跟麦迪和她的室友们打炮
I got this great idea for your business.
我才想出这个帮你发展事业的好主意
It is not acceptable to have sex with 18-year-olds.
跟18岁女生打炮完全不可接受
I agree, it was distasteful.
我同意 太没品位了
No, it was gross, you old perv.
不 是因为很恶心 你个老变♥态♥
The only reason you're even with these girls
你能约到这些女生的唯一原因
is that they're the only ones that can stand you
就是没有别人能忍♥你
for more than a night.
超过一晚上
You're right, I am, as you say, an old perv.
你说得对 我就是 像你说的 是个老变♥态♥
Oh, God. Are you crying?
天哪 你是哭了吗
What is this weird move?
这又是哪一出
I made love with these girls
我跟这些女生打炮
because I'm in love with a woman that I can never have again.
是因为我爱上了一个我永远得不到的女人
Who? AnneMarie...
谁 安玛丽
the wife of my brother.
我嫂子
Why didn't you gasp?
你怎么一点都不吃惊
Honestly, that seems on-brand for you.
说实话 对你来说很正常
I've been quietly in love with her for years,
我暗恋了她好多年
but a few months ago, I began to quietly do her.
但是几个月前 我开始偷偷搞她
That's why I had to leave Georgia with such haste,
这就是为什么我不得不含恨离开佐治亚州
because my brother would never forgive me if he found out
因为如果我哥发现我玷污了他妻子
that I'd been defiling his wife.
他永远不会原谅我
Oh, and I do me defiling.
我就这么玷污啊
Oh, God. Gross, stop it.
天哪 真恶心 别说了
I sleep with these co-eds to fill the void in my heart
我跟这些女生约炮就是为了填补
left by Anne-Marie,
安-玛丽在我心中留下的空虚
and because they're hot and it's fun.
也是因为她们长得漂亮活又好
What a weird story.
真是个诡异的故事
Why not just go after a woman your own age?
你怎么不直接追求和你年龄相仿的女人
You know who's like your intellectual peer?
就像精神伴侣那种的
No, I'm tall and handsome.
不 我又高又帅
I'm sure it won't come to that, but...
我肯定不会沦落到那个地步的 但是
I am sorry that I messed up your chance to save your practice.
我很抱歉搞砸了你拯救事业的机会
Well... Your company is a joke!
这个嘛 你们公♥司♥就是个笑话
Come on, Morgan, you can do it.
加油 Morgan 你能做到的
Come on already! That...
赶紧的行不行 那个
Get... get into it, you know? Hey, seriously?
我 我正在准备 好吧 拜托 你逗我呢
Maybe I still can.
也许我还有机会
Ah! Ah! Ah!
啊 啊 啊
That was... Did you see it?
刚才真是 你看见了吗
Did you see it? I did a back flip.
你看见了吗 我做了个后空翻
No, I didn't see it. It was probably bad.
不 我没看见 估计挺难看的
Just go... go, go, go. No, it probably sucked.
走吧 走了 走 走 不 估计很难看
I didn't see it. It probably sucked.
我没看见 估计很难看
Just get off the stage. Thank you.
赶紧下台去 谢谢
Hey, everybody.
嘿 大家好
Um, my name is Dr. Mindy Lahiri
我是Mindy Lahiri医生
and I just want to apologize
我想为我的同事
for my colleague Jody's behavior.
Jody的行为道歉
I know, I know, I know, he sucks. All right?
我知道了 我知道了 他是个烂货 好吗
But let's be honest, guys.
但是说实话 姑娘们
Most men are complete garbage. It's true!
大多数男的都是垃圾 没错
We are!
我们就是
Okay, listen, listen.
好了 请听我说
When I was your age, I thought that I was gonna be married
当我和你们一样大时 我以为
by the time I was 25,
我到25岁就会结婚
but it took a lot longer than that,
但是实际花的时间要长很多
and unfortunately, your body does not care
而且不幸的是 你的身体才不管
if you are dating the wrong guy
你是不是在跟错误的人交往
or the guy you're with is also sleeping
或者你交往的人是不是
with the rest of your dorm.
同时在和你室友约炮
Your body and your eggs just keep getting older
你的身体和你的卵子只会不断变老
which is why freezing them is actually a pretty smart idea,
也就是说冷冻卵子其实是个不错的主意
'cause it gives you a little bit more time
因为这样你就会有更多时间
so that you can try to find that one diamond
来试图从全美国男人的大垃圾堆里
in the crap heap of American men,
找出那一颗钻石
because even if you find the right guy,
因为即使你找到了对的人
you're going to want a little extra time.
你也会想再多要点时间
I mean, look at me.
我是说 看看我
I'm so busy I wear my pajamas everywhere,
我忙得穿着睡衣到处跑
and I'm pretty convinced that I will take my episiotomy stitches
而且我确信我会阴侧切手术的缝线
with me to the grave.
会带一辈子了
It's because being adult is messy and hard.
因为成年生活混乱又艰难
It's not just all smiley face emojis wearing sunglasses.
而不全是戴太阳镜的笑脸表情那样
Seriously?
真的假的
Whoa, you like that?
哇 你们爱听这个
Were you expecting anyone, Roger?
你在等什么人吗 Roger
Cowboy, take me away
牛仔啊 带我走吧
Fly this girl as high as you can into the...
带着姑娘飞到那高高的
I can't do this. This is so embarrassing.
我做不到 太丢人了
Peter. Come in.
Peter 进来吧
Make it quick though. This is Roger time.
有话快说 现在是陪Roger的时间
Look, I'm sorry that I was such a terrible host
我想说 很抱歉当初在奥斯汀
when you were in Austin.
我对你那么差
I wasn't blowing you off. I was embarrassed.
我不是想赶你走 我只是很尴尬
Of what?
尴尬什么
My chaps? My little red cowboy hat?
我朋友 我的小红牛仔帽吗
No, not those things specifically, but...
不 不是那些具体的东西 而是
Thank you.
我谢谢你了
I was embarrassed about myself.
我是对自己很尴尬
I mean, I used to be, like, a cool dude.
我是说 我以前是个酷小伙
Now I'm just a whipped-ass dad.
现在我只是个糟老爸了
You're just saying that to make me feel better.
你就是为了哄我才说这些的
Do you know why you couldn't stay with me in Austin?
你知道在奥斯汀你为什么不能和我一起住吗
It's 'cause my in-laws were in town,
是因为我岳父岳母也在
I had to sleep on the porch, and I got peed on by a coyote.
我不得不在门廊上睡 还被土狼尿了一身
What about the phone at dinner?
那晚餐时盯着手♥机♥是怎么回事
What about the concert?
音乐会又是怎么回事
I was doing my fantasy football draft at dinner
我晚餐时在做关于橄榄球的白日梦
'cause I can't mention sports in the house
因为要是我在家里说一句关于体育的话
or I lose TV for a week.
就一个星期不准看电视
Such are the depths of my whipped-ness.
这就是我态度糟糕的原因
You thought I would think less of you?
你怕我会瞧不起你吗
明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project
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