Annette, this rigatoni is delicious.
Annette 这通心粉太好吃了
It was supposed to be for both of us.
这本来是做给我们两个人一起吃的
One pan of pasta for two people?
一盘粉给两个人吃
I'm sorry about eating all of the pasta,
我真的很抱歉把粉都吃光了
but I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about.
不过 我有点事必须要跟你说
Danny found a new woman in California?
Danny在加州找了个新女人吗
No. Danny and I had sex on video chat last night.
不 Danny昨晚跟我来了场视频性♥爱♥
He's probably still cleaning the screen.
他估计还在洗屏幕吧
The news is I found a nanny for Leo.
事情是 我给Leo找了个保姆
And just to say thank you for all that you've done,
为了感谢你一直以来的付出
I actually bought you two tickets on a cruise
我买♥♥了两张游船票
for you and Dot. Here.
给你跟Dot
The brochure said they just remodeled it
小册子上说这船才刚刚翻修的
after a pirate attack, so I thought that was cool.
因为之前被海盗袭击了 我感觉这挺酷的
Thank you. Yeah.
谢谢 是啊
That's very nice.
这很贴心
You're not mad or anything, are you?
你不会生气什么的吧
Oh, absolutely not.
当然不会
Who wants their mother-in-law hanging around all the time?
谁会想要婆婆整天在眼前晃来晃去啊
Oh, no, it's not that. Stop, stop.
不是这样的 停吧
Enough said. We're all good, okay?
不用再说了 我们没事儿 好吧
Me and the Franks will just get out of your hair.
我跟这些Frank会离得你远远的
Ciao, bambino.
再见 宝宝(意文)
Bye. See ya.
再见 再见
We read three books, then he had a nap,
我们读了三本书 他睡了个觉
then I introduced him to the music of Peru.
然后我给他介绍了秘鲁的音乐
That's amazing.
太棒了
Bye, Clara. Bye, Mommy!
再见 Clara 再见 妈咪
Bye, Leo.
再见 Leo
Oh, thank God. My lunch is here.
谢天谢地 我的午餐来了
Mindy Lahiri? Yeah?
Mindy Lahiri 干嘛
You're being served. I am not being served,
你被法♥院♥传唤(服务)了 我才没被服务呢
because this is not my three orders of penang curry,
因为这可不是我点的那三份槟城咖喱
triple cream, no veg, just some envelope.
加三倍奶油 不要蔬菜 这只是个信封
Your mother-in-law is suing you for slave labor.
你的婆婆要告你奴役
Exsqueeze me?
你说啥
Allow me to formally introduce myself.
请让我正式介绍一下自己
I'm Don Castellano, Esquire.
我是Don Castellano先生
Castellano as an attorney? Where'd you get your degree?
当律师的Castellano吗 你的证书哪儿办的啊
Cannoli State? Oh!
奶油卷州吗 哦
I told you she was rude, Donny.
我都说了她这人很无礼的 Donny
Are you absolutely positive
你真的肯定
you don't want any legal counsel here with you?
你不需要找个法律顾问吗
Lawyers are for guilty people
有罪的人才需要律师
like thieves and Edward Snowden.
就像那些贼 跟斯♥诺♥登
I have done nothing wrong!
我什么都没做错
I did just fart.
我确实放屁了
Man, this is a small room.
天哪 这可是个小房♥间啊
I know. I'mI'm sorry. Come on.
我知道 对不起 拜托啊
According to Annette,
根据Annette所说
she's worked close to 100 hours for you without any pay.
她给你工作了近100小时 而没有任何报酬
That, my friend, constitutes slavery
这就构成奴役了 朋友
according to this printout from my law book CD-ROM.
我这本光盘打印的法律书籍上是这么写的
Okay, well, let me present this to the jury.
好吧 我把这些讲给陪审团听听吧
This old lady.
这位老女人
She's the grandma! I ain't paying her!
她可是奶奶啊 我才不需要付她钱
By the way, my little mud-blood son
再说了 是我那混血儿子
is the only reason she wakes up every morning.
给了她每天醒来活着的动力啊
I object, Your Honor! That is not true!
我反对 法官阁下 这不是真的
I have my walking group. The Staten Island Strutters!
我可是有自己的健走团的 史坦顿岛傲视者
I can't. When I worked,
听不下去了 我工作的那时候
my boys were always with family.
我的孩子总是跟家人在一起的
Did your family invade your personal space
那你的家人会侵犯你的私人空间吗
and slut-shame your underwear drawer?
还指着你的内衣抽屉喊淫♥荡♥羞耻吗
We didn't have personal space.
我们没有私人空间的
I gave Danny his bath until he was 18.
我帮Danny洗澡洗到他18岁
Oh, my God. We all did.
天哪 我们都是这样的
What is wrong with you people?
你们这些人是有什么问题啊
You know what? I gotta go back to work.
你知道吗 我要回去上班了
Just send me the bill. Okay.
把罚金单送过来吧 好吧
It's gonna include my legal fees too.
我会我的律师费加上去的
Whatever. Fine! But I hope you're okay
随便吧 很好 我希望你可以接受
with your baby not having a grandmother.
你的孩子没有奶奶
Or a grandmother's friend!
或者奶奶的朋友
I did it! Had it out with Whitney about her drug use.
我做到了 跟Whitney谈了她嗑药的问题
It's over.
都结束了
Jeremy, that is wonderful news.
Jeremy 这是个大好消息
Right, the relationship isn't over,
对 我们并没有分手
just the difficult conversation.
结束的只是那个沉重话题
No, Whitney and I are perfect.
Whitney跟我可好了
Uh, come again?
再说一遍
Well, I told her in very strict terms
我选用了严格的辞藻
that I was concerned about her cocaine use
来跟她说我很担心她的嗑药问题
and she promised she would keep an eye on it.
然后她答应她以后会注意的
That's it? She's gonna keep an eye on it?
就这样吗 她以后会注意
Jeremy, are you sure you're not just being manipulated
Jeremy 你肯定你这次不是
by a woman again?
又被女人操控了吗
I mean, you paid for your ex-girlfriend's wedding.
我是说 你给你前女友的婚礼买♥♥单
I didn't pay for the wedding. I didn't.
我没为那婚礼买♥♥单 我没有
I paid for her dress and his ring.
我只是付了礼服钱跟戒指钱
If anything, I'm manipulating Whitney
要这么说的话 也是我在操控Whitney
by showing her how supportive I am so she'll never leave me.
通过表现出极度的支持 让她永远离不开我
High-fives!
击掌
Off to get her dry cleaning. See ya later.
得去帮她拿干洗衣服了 再见
Colette, I may have to take matters into my own hands.
Colette 看来我不得不亲手解决问题了
You know what, everybody? Grandmothers are overrated.
你们知道吗 大家都高估了奶奶的重要性
Excuse me! We were talking about something.
不好意思 我们在聊事呢
The cast shake-ups at "The View."
<观点访谈>的演员变动
I had no opinion. Well, you know what?
我也没啥评论的 你知道吗
People are always bagging on millenials and saying
人们老是吐槽千禧一代
how great the elderly are, but they're not.
说老人多好多好的 但并不是这样的
They can't drive, they give terrible award show speeches,
他们不会开车 讲感言也是一塌糊涂
and they ruined Facebook. Okay, let me say something.
他们还毁了脸书 听我说
As the founder of the very poorly attended Grandma-Con,
作为极少人参与的奶奶展的创立人
I'm not just gonna sit here and listen to you
我不会就这么坐着听你
rip on grandmas like that.
这样侮辱奶奶们
You know, I am so happy that I found
我很高兴我找到这么一个
a cool, fresh-faced, young woman to take care of my son
又酷又新鲜的年轻女人照顾我儿子
because he deserves a cool, young nanny
因为他值得拥有一个酷酷的年轻保姆
who has never had a landline and who only knows
年轻得从来没用过固定电♥话♥
the Chris Pratt version of "Jurassic Park."
也只知道克里斯 帕拉特版本的<侏罗纪公园>
How dare you, Dr. L. I was raised by my grandmother
你怎么敢这样 L医生 我就是我奶奶养大的
and I turned out great. Oh, God! My wound!
我长得多好啊 天哪 我的伤口
I'd love to help you, Morgan,
我也想帮你 Morgan
but we never got to the end of that gauze seminar.
但是我们那个纱布会议还没开完
Oh, God.
天哪
What did the nanny do? What's wrong?
保姆干什么了 怎么了
More cast shake-ups on "The View"?
<观点访谈>演员又改了吗
My nanny just made my son the poster child
我保姆把我儿子放海报上了
for the anti-vaccination movement.
宣传反疫苗行动
Oh, no! Got a positive comment from @TVWritersWife.
糟了 电视编剧人♥妻♥刚给了个正面评论
I gotta go, guys.
得走了
Excuse me, might I trouble you for a moment of your time?
不好意思 我能占用你一点点时间吗
I'm sorry. Who are you? I'm Jeremy's friend.
你是谁 我是Jeremy的朋友
I think it would be best if your relationship
我觉得你们的关系能够
found a natural point of termination.
自然地结束 那就最好了
Are you kidding me?
你在逗我吗
He's the best boyfriend I've ever had.
他是我交往过的最棒的男朋友
After he cooks me dinner, he gives me a comment card
他在给我做完晚饭之后 还给了我一张评价卡
about how he can improve.
让我给他提进步意见
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