明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project S04E07
Part 4
April 29, 2021, 1:58 p.m.
Very well, I may need to argue in the language of the city.
很好 那么就让我用都市的手段来说服你
You want to pay me to break up with him?
你想买♥♥通我去跟他分手
What are you, the dad in a Nicholas Sparks movie?
你以为自己是尼古拉斯.斯帕克斯电影里的老爸吗
All right, enough. Who do I make the check out to?
够了 支票我应该开给谁
You or Pablo Escobar?
给你还是巴勃罗.埃斯科瓦尔
Oh, is that what this is about?
搞半天你是为这个来的
Listen.
听着
I only do coke to have fun after work...and to work.
我吸可♥卡♥因♥只是为了下班后放松一下 帮助我工作
Listen, you. You're gonna stay away from my friend.
你听好了 离我的朋友远一点
He doesn't need some hard-living,
他不需要什么花天酒地的纽约海妖
New York City siren manipulating him
用她蜜色的大眼睛
with her big, molasses-brown eyes.
去操控他
Oh, really? And he's gonna listen to you?
是吗 他会听你的话吗
Some inbred Civil War general
你就像散发着暴风雨后森林的气息的
who smells like the woods after a storm?
天生的内战将军一样
You are out of control. And you like it.
你太疯狂了 你很喜欢不是吗
Oh, my God. I do.
天哪 我太喜欢了
Clara! What the hell?
克拉拉 搞什么
Why would you think it was okay to take a photo of my son
你怎么能擅自给我儿子拍
in an anti-vaccination onesie?
他穿着反疫苗连体衣的照片
But I thought you said you wanted him to be famous.
我以为你想让他出名
Yeah, of course I do. But if you want him to model,
我当然想了 但要是想把他打造成模特
you gotta go through his talent agent,
就必须经由经纪公♥司♥之手
who I don't have because no one will accept us as a package.
但是我还没找到 因为没有公♥司♥愿意把我俩打包接受
Also, he is vaccinated.
还有 他已经接种疫苗了
What? Why?
什么 为什么
Vaccines are just toxins pumped into our children by Big Pharma!
疫苗只不过是制药厂灌入孩子们体内的毒药
No! You know what Big Pharma did?
不 你知道制药厂做了什么吗
They got rid of Big Mumps and Big Polio.
他们搞定了腮腺炎和小儿麻痹症
Yeah, but no one even gets those anymore.
但是现在根本没人得这些病了
Because of vaccines!
因为有疫苗啊
Clara, you gotta go, which makes me sad
克拉拉你得离开了 这让我很难过
because you were a good nanny, and frankly,
因为你是个好保姆
I thought we would be great friends.
说实在的 我以为我们能做朋友
I would never be friends with you.
我永远不会和你成为朋友
You're an old lady like Britney Spears.
你不过是个老女人 跟布兰妮差不多
How dare you!
你怎么敢这么说
Wait! Where are you going? You just fired me.
等等 你要去哪儿 你刚刚炒了我
Yeah, but I meant, like, fired in a couple hours
是的 但我是指 等我下班回来
when I come back from work.
几个小时之后再炒掉你
Oh, no. Who's gonna watch Leo now?
哦不 现在谁来照看Leo
Leo, that was so good.
Leo 你刚刚太棒了
No one's on to us. You are such a good actor.
没人注意到我们 你真是个好演员
I never thought your first role would be an all-in-one machine.
没想到你的第一个角色是多功能打印机
I know.
我懂
This is the hot pipe room and this shall be your daycare.
这里是储藏室 也是你的日间托儿所了
I'm sorry, but I'm not supposed to bring my baby into work.
很抱歉 但我不能带着我的宝宝上班
All right, baby monitor here for you.
好了 婴儿监视器给你
I'll take this one. I'm right next door.
我拿着这一个 我就在隔壁
I'll be back in two minutes to check on you.
我两分钟之后就会回来看看你的
You need anything, call me.
需要什么的话 叫我就好
I love you. Bye.
我爱你 拜拜
Oh! There you are. We need to talk.
你在这儿啊 我们需要谈谈
Okay. Been looking all over for you.
好 我在到处找你
Hey, hey, quit grabbing at me.
喂 别抓着我了
It's just I find myself in a bit of a pickle.
我陷入了一个困境之中
Hmm. I went to convince Whitney
是么 我去找过Whitney
to break up with Jeremy and I ended up laying with her.
劝她和Jeremy分手 结果我却和她躺在了一起
You slept with Whitney?
你跟Whitney上♥床♥了
Are you out of your mind? You're Jeremy's best friend!
你疯了吗 你是Jeremy最好的朋友啊
You guys were gonna perform "Lady Marmalade"
你们都准备在医院的达人秀上
at the hospital talent show!
一起表演<果酱女郎>了
I know. I know what I did was bad,
我明白 我做了错事
but their relationship is wrong.
但是他们的关系是错误的
Maybe, in a way, this is what had to happen.
也许 从某种程度上来说 这件事是无可避免的
Maybe, in a way, I'm a hero.
也许 从某种程度上来说 我是个英雄
That sucked. That logic is bad and you know it, okay?
胡扯 你明明知道这样讲不通
You have to go tell him. I know.
你必须告诉他 我知道
I'll just move away. I'll make new friends.
我会搬走 我会交到新朋友
I'll sleep with their girlfriends and--
我会去和他们的女朋友上♥床♥然后
Oh! See? There I go again.
看见了吗 我又来了
Oh, my God. You are the worst person.
我的天哪 你这人真是烂透了
You are so selfish, you have no concept
你太自私了 你根本就没有意识到
of what anyone else goes through.
其他人在经历些什么
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound
对不起 我都听不清你在说什么了
of your baby gurgling in a box on the floor.
因为你的宝宝在地上的纸箱里咯咯地叫
Okay, okay, that's enough.
好了好了 你够了
Thomas Jefferson owned slaves, all right?
托马斯.杰斐逊都有过奴隶好吗
Sometimes cool people make mistakes.
再酷的人也会犯些错误的
Hey, sweetheart.
嘿 宝贝儿
All right, I have a delivery.
好了 我得去接生了
I don't know what to do. Such a bad idea.
我不知道该怎么做 这真是个坏主意
I'm such a bad mother. No, take it easy now.
我是个差劲的妈妈 别太自责了
You're doing an admirable job.
你已经很了不起了
Why don't you let me watch the little fella
你在医院忙的时候
while you're at the hospital?
就由我来照看这个小家伙吧
Can I trust you? I'm great with kids.
我能相信你吗 我很会带小孩儿的
My Uncle Randy got kicked in the head by a mule.
我的叔叔兰迪被骡子踢了脑袋
He had the brain of an infant. Took care of him for years,
他的智商就跟婴儿一样 我照顾了他好多年
and now he's a Mississippi state senator.
他现在是密西西比州的参议员
Okay, it's just for an hour. I would really appreciate that.
好吧 就麻烦你一个小时 真的非常感谢你
Sure, absolutely.
没关系
Thanks, Jody. Sure.
谢了 Jody 没事
Hello, little box baby.
你好啊 小盒子宝宝
You might be a big help to your Uncle Jody.
你可是Jody叔叔的大救星啊
Hi, Jody. Hi.
你好 Jody 你好
Is that Leo? Yeah.
那是Leo吗 是
Where's Mindy?
Mindy人呢
Did she get lost following the scent
她又在追寻苹果派香气的时候
of an apple pie again?
迷路了吗
Oh, no. I'm just babysitting.
哦不 我只是在照看宝宝
Oh, okay.
好吧
Jeremy, you wouldn't hit a man
Jeremy 你不会出手打一个
carrying a baby, would you?
抱着婴儿的人吧
Of course not. Why?
当然不会 怎么说
I slept with Whitney in her office.
我在Whitney的办公室里和她睡了
What? Jody, put that baby down
什么 Jody 把宝宝放下
so I can strike you. No, I won't. I won't.
这样我就能揍你了 不 我不要
Put it down. I won't.
把他放下 我不会放的
Damn it! We were friends, Jody.
我靠 Jody 我们曾经是朋友
Look, I'm sorry, but I'm glad I did it.
我很抱歉 但我很高兴自己那么做了
Any woman who'd sleep
任何愿意和我这样的无赖上♥床♥的女人
with a scoundrel like me doesn't deserve you.
都不值得拥有你
You deserve someone who's gonna treat you right.
你值得一个对你好的人
And even if you don't think you do, I know you do.
即使你自己都不这么觉得 但我知道你值得
And I'm gonna keep on sleeping with your girlfriends
直到你意识到这一点之前
until you realize it. Shh.
我会一直和你的女朋友们上♥床♥的 乖
Now, if you still feel like you'll feel better--
好了 如果你还是觉得揍我一顿你会好受
Oh, God almighty!
我的老天
Thank you, Jody. I do feel better.
谢谢你 Jody 我确实好点儿了
All right. Actually, can I hit you again?
那就好 那啥 我能再揍你一下吗
Nope. Nope. I-I'd prefer if you didn't.
不不 我希望你不要
Maybe you're right.
也许你是对的
Maybe I should find a woman I deserve.
也许我应该找一个配得上我的姑娘
A quiet, plain, simple girl.
一个安静 朴素 简单的女孩
Maybe someone who's gone mute since she witnessed a crime.
也许是个因为见证了一场凶杀案而哑巴了的女孩
No, uh, I tell you what.
不 我告诉你
I'm gonna make it my mission
帮你找到一个配得上你的女人
to find you a lady who's good enough for you.
这将会成为我的使命
If you do, don't sleep with her.
你要是找到了的话 不要和她上♥床♥
明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project
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