尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S01E03

Part 1 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:49 a.m.

怎么说呢
I don't know.
我总觉得皮特怪吓人的
Pete's always kind of given me the creeps.
他对卡帕公♥馆♥的事情
Hey, look, he has this bizarre obsession
有着超乎寻常的痴迷
with what's going on in the Kappa House,
这已经够诡异了
which is weird enough.
加上他还有一件红衣恶魔的服装
And then the guy's got a Red Devil costume.
挂在衣橱里啊
In his closet?
证据确凿啊
Come on, girl.
我承认这很奇怪
Which is strange, I'll admit.
但我也说不清
I just... I don't know.
我觉得自己想错了
I really think I was wrong.
我不认为他会是凶手
I don't believe he could be the killer.
我才不在乎你认为是什么
I don't care what you believe, okay?
你得向我保证从现在起
You have to promise me that from now on,
不要独自出门
you're not gonna go anywhere alone,
还有我们都得带着我外婆寄来的电击枪
and we're both gonna use the tasers my grandmama sent.
-熏猪皮 -还有这个
- Ooh, pork rinds. - Ooh, here.
饿死我了
I'm freaking starving.
卡帕公♥馆♥里一点吃的都没有
There is food nowhere in Kappa House.
这也说得通
Ugh! I guess it makes sense.
毕竟厨子的脸都被炸没了
The cook did get her face fried off.
香奈儿们都开始吃棉球了
The Chanels have started eating cotton balls.
香奈儿三号♥说吃棉球能让人不感觉饿
Number Three says it keeps you from being hungry.
开始囤货吧
We're stocking up now!
能帮我拿点糖浆沾薯片吃吗
Can you get some syrup to dip the Ranch chips in?
你要拿薯片沾糖浆吃吗
You want to put syrup on chips?
你开玩笑的吧
You can't be serious, right?
我没开玩笑
Yes, I'm serious!
你真是疯了
You're insane.
找到了我看看
Uh, all right, let me see.
有草莓和巧克力两种口味
All right, we have strawberry and chocolate.
你要哪种
What do you want?
你傻啊当然巧克力
Are you out your mind? Chocolate.
天哪
Oh, my God!
怎么回事
What the hell's going on?
我们刚抓住一个连环杀手
We just caught a serial killer.
麻烦报个警
Call the police, please.
让我们看看你到底是谁混♥蛋♥
Let's see who you are, you sick son of a bitch.
-疼死了 -尤金
- It hurts. - Eugene?!
-你认识他吗 -我们一起上政♥治♥学课
- You know him? - He's in my poli-sci class.
-天哪 -对不起
- Oh, my God. - I'm sorry, okay?
我会赔这些东西的我出门没带钱包
I'll pay for 'em. I left home without my wallet.
我的蛋啊
Ow, my nuts.
疼死我了
Ow! It hurts so bad!
《尖叫女王》
第一季第三集
我不懂二号♥的尸体呢
I don't understand. Where is Number Two's body?
她到底是死是活
Is she alive? Is she dead?
尸体都是谁偷走的啊
Who is stealing all these bodies?!
别问我我又不是凶手
Don't ask me! I'm not the killer.
我只是无聊想到这里来
I'm just bored, so I came out here
看看二号♥冰凉的尸体
to look at Number Two's frozen dead body,
真不巧她不见了
And lo and behold, she's not here.
香奈儿我实话跟你说吧
Look, Chanel, I'm gonna be honest with you.
在如今发生了这一系列
Sort of over this whole serial murder thing
杀人事件的当口
that's going on right now.
我昨晚和罗杰以及多杰来了场爽翻天的3P
Last night I had an amazing threesome with Roger and Dodger,
然后我意识到这个学期我更愿意把精力
and I realized that I'd rather focus my attention this semester
用在跟性感火♥辣♥的双胞胎鲜肉滚床单上
on getting spit-roasted by hot golf frat twins
而不是帮你搞清楚
than help you figure out
是谁杀了那帮蠢货
who's murdering a bunch of dumb gashes.
你什么意思
What are you saying?!
就是字面意思
You heard me.
我跟一对傻兄弟玩了"埃菲尔铁塔"式体♥位♥
I got Eiffel Towered by hot morons who are brothers.
现在我要退出
And now I'm out.
我突然意识到我根本不在乎
See, it occurred to me that I don't really care
香奈儿二号♥去哪儿了
where Chanel Number Two is.
你是会长那这就是你的问题
You're the president, which means it's your problem.
我要是你就会着手处理了
I'd just hop to it if I were you,
因为过不了多久
because pretty soon,
大家就会注意到二号♥不见了
folks are gonna start noticing she's missing,
到那时她们是会调查的
and they're gonna start snooping.
不许你离开我五号♥
Don't you walk away from me, Number Five!
看我不灭了你贱♥人♥
I will destroy you, bitch!
请勿打扰
工作中
香奈儿二号♥
Chanel Number Two?
你看
Wow. Look.
地板上好大一片污渍
There's a huge stain on the floor.
对香奈儿们来说那块污渍可不一定是什么
Although with the Chanels, it really could be anything.
-呕吐物拉拉爱♥液♥ -也许是血迹
- Bulimia, scissor. - Maybe it's blood.
那当然
Of course
是血迹了
it's blood.
以我的经验
In my experience,
每次有人问起
any time somebody asks,
"不知道那是不是血迹"
"Oh, I wonder if that's blood,"
通常都是血迹
it's almost always blood.
你们知道污渍是番茄酱的次数有多少吗
I mean, you know how many times it's, like, ketchup?
目前为止一次都没有
Zero percent of the time.
把灯关了
Hit the light.
看吧就是血
Oh! There it is. That's blood.
-你喷的是什么 -鲁米诺
- But what is that? - It's luminol.
它能与血红蛋白里的铁元素反应
It reacts to the iron in hemoglobin.
等一下
Wait. Hold on.
所以你身上没枪
You're telling me, you don't carry a gun,
-却带着一瓶那东西 -是啊
- but you carry around a bottle of that stuff? - Yeah!
因为它也能和山葵里的酶发生反应
'Cause it also reacts to an enzyme in horseradish,
我讨厌山葵但我喜欢亚比餐厅的菜
and I hate horseradish, but I love me some Arby's.
所以我得把三明治带回家
So what I do is, I take my sandwich home,
关上灯
cut the light off,
喷点鲁米诺检查一下
put a little luminol on there, do a little check
确保他们没有不小心
just to be sure they didn't accidentally
在里面掺了山葵酱
sneak a little horsey sauce on it.
没人在找这姑娘
Nobody's looking for this girl.
这点太可疑了
Now, that's suspicious,
尤其这小贱♥人♥还发了这种推文
especially when the bitch done tweeted...
看看这个
Look at this.
"红衣魔鬼要杀我"
"I'm being murdered by the red devil."
香奈儿她们说因为她有点精神失常
The Chanels said she had some sort of nervous breakdown
回加利福尼亚的家了
and went home to California.
你们都疯了吗
Are y'all crazy?
有个疯子在到处杀人
There is a psycho killing people.
他杀了我的朋友
He killed my dear friend
我安保应对公♥司♥的同事尚戴儿
and Secure Enforcement Solutions colleague Shondell
往那女孩的脸上捅了一刀
stabbed that girl right in the face.
虽然她本就长的抱歉
And, no, she wasn't that cute to begin with,
但那不是重点
but that is not the point.
重点是有个女孩儿失踪了
The point is, there's a missing girl,
地上血迹斑斑而她还在发推文
blood on the floor, and she's tweeting,
"大家好告诉你们一声有人要杀我"
"Oh, hey, just want y'all to know I'm getting murdered,"
而你俩站在这里就好像在说
and y'all are standing here like,
"真不知道她怎么了"
"Ooh, I wonder what happened."
那女孩死了
The girl is dead.
听着我同意你说的听起来很有道理
Look, I agree that it does sort of seem that way,
但让我百思不得其解的是
but here's what's confusing to me.
你看香奈儿二号♥一直在分享照片
Look. Number Two is still posting on instagram.
这张是她在泳池边晒日光浴
There she is by the pool sunbathing.
这小贱♥人♥真不讨人喜欢
The bitch is not even cute.
她可能只是回贝莱尔了
Look, maybe she's just back home in Bel Air.
我们得去搞清楚
We should find out.
你们这是都要去贝莱尔吗
Y'all just gonna go to Bel Air?
就这么走了吗