尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S01E06

Part 3 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:50 a.m.

截止到目前我的性生活可以称为不寻常
My sex life up until this point is what you'd call unusual.
我满18岁时
When I turned 18,
我开始和我爸的一个朋友谈恋爱
I started dating one of my dad's friends.
他自杀了用一辆俱乐部的高尔夫球车
He committed suicide by running himself over
把自己碾了
with a golf cart at the club.
去年我谈了一个
The guy I dated here last year
他对我的耳朵太痴迷导致他退学
got so obsessed with my ears he had to leave school.
现在他给我写恐吓信说如果再看到我的耳朵
Now he writes me letters threatening to cut them off
就会把它们割掉
if he ever sees them again.
所以我总是带着耳包
Which is why I always wear my ear muffs.
我理解让你理清自己情感的唯一方法
I understand. I think the only way to be sure of your feelings
就是让我轻轻抚摸你的子♥宫♥
is if you let me gently rub your uterus right now.
不你不理解
No. You don't understand.
我可是查尔斯·曼森的女儿
I'm Charles Manson's daughter.
我的血液中流淌着他的魅力与疯狂
His charisma and madness is in my blood.
我爱上别人时会把他们逼疯的
When I love someone, it drives them insane.
我不能这么做
No. I can't.
我们能做好姬友尽量互相保护对方
We can be alibilibidibuddies and do our best to protect each other,
可是不能上♥床♥
but our vaginas may never touch.
这样太危险了
It's too dangerous.
相信我
Believe me when I say
如果我能够感知情感的话
that if it was possible for me to feel anything
现在早就哭出来了
I would totally be crying right now.
你们在干吗
What are you guys doing?
你好啊会长大人
Well, hello, Madam President.
在为做香奈儿棉花糖准备巧克力脆皮花生
Making chocolate-covered peanuts for Chanel's special s'mores.
可那些是花生米啊
But those are packing peanuts.
看起来不怎么健康
That doesn't seem healthy.
是啊里面的卡路里已经被减半了
Uh, yeah. Cuts the calorie content in, like, half.
你们怎么没拿冰回来
Why are you two back without any ice?
我们有麻烦了
We have a problem.
所有门都关得死死的
All the doors are locked solid.
窗户也是楼上楼下都被封死了
Windows, too. Upstairs and down.
警戒状态
她们说得没错我们被困住了
They're right. We're trapped.
大家先等等我想我知道这是怎么回事
Wait, you guys, I think I know what this is.
应该是我爸干的
It's probably my dad.
他一直想让我呆在安全的室内
He's been getting on me to stay inside where it's safe,
这肯定是他干的因为我不听他的
and I'm pretty sure he did this because I wouldn't listen.
他这爸爸听起来够可怕的
He sounds like an awful parent.
他保护过度了
He's overprotective,
但我想说这没什么好担心的
but I'm telling you there is nothing to worry about.
当然应该担心了
Of course it's something to worry about.
这不是你♥爸♥和他那86版迈阿密风云式胡茬干的
It's not your dad and his 1986 Miami Vice five o'clock shadow.
是那杀人魔干的
It was the killer.
可是大伙他又是怎么神不知鬼不觉地
But, guys, how did he lock every window and every door
把门窗都锁上的呢
without us noticing?
他肯定是侵入我之前装的
He must have hacked into
紧急安全系统里了
the fail-safe security system I had installed.
最近一个风雨交加的夜里
One recent stormy night,
查德和我在网上看《战栗空间》然后他说
Chad and I watched Panic Room on Netflix, and Chad was like,
"你需要装一个这个"
"You totally need one of those."
可朱迪·福斯特家的太小太恶心了
But Jodie Foster's was small and gross,
所以我决定把整间房♥子改造成一个战栗空间
so I decided to have the whole house turned into a panic room.
等等这不就意味着某处有个
But wait, doesn't that mean that there's some sort of switch
可以关掉系统的开关吗
somewhere to deactivate it?
没错理论上是这样的
Yes, theoretically,
可装系统的人说那个开关缺货了
but the guy said the kill switch was on back order
他得过几周才能来装
and he'd have to install it in a couple of weeks.
姐♥妹♥们♥ 我要被吓死了
Guys, I am freaking out!
我讨厌被困在狭小的空间里
I hate being trapped in small places.
好吧这间屋面♥积♥接近一万五平方英尺呢
Okay, this house is literally, like, 15,000 square feet.
杀手会这样做只有一个原因
There's only one reason why the killer would do something like this--
方便一个个地暗♥杀♥我们
to pick us off one by one.
如果是我就会这样做
That's what I would do.
看来死一个人或者全部死光光
Guess it's just a matter of time before one of us
只是时间问题
or all of us ends up dead.
我是查德·雷德威尔
You're go for Chad Radwell.
查德是我香奈儿
Chad, it's me, Chanel.
真是巧得很啊
Well, well, well. Isn't this a coincidence.
我正要去卡帕公♥馆♥偷你的内♥裤♥呢
I was headed over to Kappa House to steal some of your panties.
查德这太棒了我爱死你了
Oh, Chad, that's amazing. I love you so much.
可是查德你听我说
But, Chad, listen.
你必须来救我们
You have to help us.
我们被困在公♥馆♥里电也停了
We're trapped in the house and the power went out
只有我的手♥机♥还有信♥号♥♥
and my phone is the only one that's working
因为我确信那个杀手
because I'm pretty sure the killer
肯定是弄坏了一座信♥号♥♥塔还是什么
knocked down a cell tower or something.
怎么只有你的还有信♥号♥♥
Wait, well, why does yours work, then?
我的手♥机♥是卫星电♥话♥
Because mine's a satellite phone.
埃隆·马斯克给我的专为太空旅行设计的
Elon Musk gave it to me. It's designed for space travel.
我爸富得流油啊查德
My dad is super gross rich, Chad.
我知道这点是我的最爱宝贝
I know. That's my favorite thing about you, baby.
这样香奈儿在我赶去救你或干嘛之前
Look, Chanel, before I come and save you and whatnot,
我得向你坦白
I got to get some things off my chest.
-一我和教务长上♥床♥了 -什么
- A, I had sex with the dean. - What?
我想说的是很抱歉我这么做了
Look, I'm prepared to say I'm sorry I did that.
可我并不想说房♥事很糟糕
What I'm not prepared to do is say the sex was bad.
因为一点也不糟
Because it was not.
还有我还和那个保安搞上了
Oh, also, I hooked up with the, uh, security guard.
-亨普希尔警官吗 -没错
- Officer Hemphill? - Yeah.
这事我可没打算抱歉
Yeah. I'm not gonna apologize for that one.
查德我快被杀了
Chad, I'm about to get murdered,
你能把电♥话♥挂了快点过来吗
so can you please just hang up and get over here?
查德·雷德威尔出发了
Chad Radwell is on the way.
我爱你查德
I love you, Chad.
喂
Hello?
我也挺爱你的
I... love you, too, sort of.
既然所有门窗都被锁了
How on earth are we supposed to get in
我们要怎么进去呢
if all the doors and windows are locked?
老弟我们沿着爬梯上去
Dude, we climb up the ladder,
打烂二楼的窗户
break the windows upstairs,
把女生们救出来再爬下来
save all the girls, climb back down,
然后就是我们的海天盛筵了
then it's Vagina City for all of us.
你不是说香奈儿把所有窗户都弄成防弹的
I thought you said Chanel had all the windows bomb-proofed
所以我们打不碎
so that we can't break them.
对我说的是楼下的窗玻璃哥们
Yeah... downstairs windows, dude.
为何要给楼上的窗玻璃做防弹处理
Why would you bomb-proof upstairs windows?
防什么一颗飞弹什么的吗
For what, like, a flying bomb?
会飞的炸♥弹♥就是导弹查德
A flying bomb would be a missile, Chad.
说真的红衣恶魔能从哪搞颗导弹呢
Honestly, where's the Red Devil gonna get a missile?
别犯傻拿着老子要当英雄了
Don't be an idiot. Hold this. It's hero time.
瞧好吧
Ah, here we go.
查德你为我而来
Oh, Chad, you've come for me.
英雄救美我就永远是你的人了
Save me and I'm yours forever.
我可不确定自己要接受这种承诺
I'm not really sure I'm ready for that level of commitment.
求你了查德我和凶手被困在一栋房♥子里了
Chad, please, I'm trapped in the house with a killer.
打碎玻璃
Break the glass!
除非你收回刚才说的那番话
Not until you take back what you said.
好快救救我查德
Fine, just save me, Chad.
然后呢
And?
想跟我厮守多久由你来决定
And I'm yours for an amount of time you feel is appropriate.
退后淑女
Stand back, fair maiden.
英雄查德要登场了
Chad's about to be a hero.
查德
Oh, Chad!
是红衣恶魔
Whoa, Red Devil!
快上来快快快快爬
Get up here now! Go, go, go, go, go. Climb.
红衣恶魔强势登场
Red Devil, coming in hot!
他来了
He's moving.
他过来了他过来了
Oh, he's moving, he's moving.
快点加尔菲德你倒是爬啊