尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S01E07

Part 6 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:50 a.m.

-我们给她的胸罩下毒怎么样 -什么
- I say we poison her bras. - What?
把她的胸罩浸满毒药
We soak all of her bras in poison,
等到干了之后她穿上
and then once they dry and she puts one on,
我们就说"香奈儿街那边
we're like, "Chanel, there's a new
开了一家巴尼斯新店快去"
Barneys co-op down the street. Hurry."
她就会穿着胸罩跑过去
And then she'll put one on, and she'll start running,
开始出汗毒药溶解
and she'll start to sweat, and then the poison will
通过乳♥头♥进入身体杀死她
seep through her nips and kill her.
这主意太烂了吧
That's a horrible idea!
好吧那这个如何
Okay. How about this?
我们拿走香奈儿所有的钻石
We take all of Chanel's diamonds
碾成粉末之后我们办一个砂糖派对
and we crush them into a powder, and then we have
每个人都必须吃掉一碗砂糖
a sugar party where everyone eats bowls of sugar.
除了香奈儿她的碗里不是糖
Except chanel's bowl isn't filled with sugar,
是钻石粉末
it's powdered diamonds
它们会划开她的食道杀死她
That slice open her esophagus and kill her from the inside.
砂糖派对是什么鬼
What the hell is a sugar party?
谁会坐一圈一碗一碗吃砂糖啊
Okay, who just sits around eating bowls of sugar?
还有你怎么碾碎钻石
And how do you even crush a diamond?
那可是世界上最坚硬的东西
It's, like, the hardest substance on earth.
五号♥ 闭嘴
Shut up, Number Five.
这是个好主意
It's a great idea.
你只是生气自己没想到
You're just pissed you didn't think of it.
想到什么
Think of what?
什么好主意
What's a great idea?
没什么香奈儿我们刚才只是在说
Nothing, Chanel. We were just talking about
要办一个砂糖派对
throwing a sugar party.
就是每个人都吃成碗的砂糖那种
Oh, where everyone just eats bowls of sugar?
我最喜欢了
Yeah, I love those.
她喜欢
Love it.
有人看到我的普路耐斯了吗
Has anyone seen my Prunex?
我感觉不太好
I'm not feeling well.
什么是普路耐斯
What's Prunex?
是液体泻药五号♥
It's a liquid laxatives, Number Five!
我们中的某少数人还有良心
Some of us with souls, who aren't
不是没朋友的精神病在校园里
friendless psychopaths, find that the stress
发生了那么多谋杀案后压力很大
of having a mass-murderer on campus
感觉有些不舒服
makes them slightly irregular.
现在我要吃点普路耐斯然后睡觉
Now, I'm taking some Prunex and I'm going to bed!
在这呢
Here it is. Hmm.
晚安啦小婊砸们
Good night, sluts.
我们今晚就干掉她
We're doing it. Tonight.
一旦普路耐斯药效发作
Once the Prunex knocks her out cold,
我们就杀掉香奈儿
we're murdering Chanel.
是你
You.
你在这干嘛
What are you doing here?
你好香奈儿我是香奈儿二号♥
Hey, Chanel. It's chanel #2.
我知道你是谁
Yeah, I know who you are.
我是在问你在这干嘛
I asked what you're doing here.
我以为你死了
I thought you were dead.
我是死了我在地狱受火刑着呢
I am dead. I'm burning in hell.
我从坟墓里回来是为了向你道歉
I came back from the grave to apologize to you.
什么真的吗
What? Seriously?
是的
That's right.
不管你以前是怎么听说的
See, despite what you've heard,
地狱糟透了一点也不好玩
hell sucks; it's not fun.
那里是有水滑道
Yes, there are waterslides,
但上面都是锋利的刀片
but they're lined with razor blades
而且你会一头冲进煮沸的尿里
and you splash down into a pool of boiling pee.
还有
Also,
没有恐龙
zero dinosaurs.
没有恐龙吗
There's no dinosaurs?
没有我到那的时候
No. As soon as I got there,
就在想"恐龙都去哪了"
I was like, "Where are the dinosaurs?"
他们就说"说的就是啊
And they were like, "We know.
是耶稣闯进来偷走了它们"
Jesus broke in and stole them."
还有你知道我的工作是什么吗
Also, do you know what my job is?
我得从乌代和库塞·侯赛因[萨♥达♥姆♥儿子]的胡子里
I have to pick food out of
直接用嘴拣吃的
Uday and Qusay Hussein's beards
-余下的永恒里都得如此 -好恶心
- with my teeth for the rest of eternity. - Ew.
所以昨天我直接到了前台
So yesterday I marched right up to the front desk
问 "我怎样才能上天堂"
and I'm like, "What do I have to do to get to heaven?"
你知道卡尔·萨根是怎么跟我说的吗
And do you know what Carl Sagan said to me?
美国天文学家
我必须跟你和解香奈儿
That I had to make things right with you, Chanel.
这就是我在这的原因
So that's what I'm here to do.
事实上
The truth is,
我一直都很仰慕你
I always admired you.
很抱歉从没告诉过你
I'm sorry I never told you.
我想我只是被你的美貌智慧吓到了
I guess I was just intimidated by your beauty and intelligence.
很抱歉我和查德·雷德威尔上♥床♥了
And I'm sorry I had sex with Chad Radwell.
我只是很嫉妒我想要你拥有的
I was just jealous. I wanted what you had,
而我真的很需要做♥爱♥
and I really needed my tube packed.
那你为什么要用那个恶魔对话板
Well, why did you use that satanic talkingboard
告诉大家他劈腿了
to tell everyone he cheated on me
而且我是杀人凶手
and that I was the killer?
我不知道我很抱歉
I don't know. I'm sorry.
我估计只是心情不好
I was just probably in a bad mood
因为阿道夫·希♥特♥勒♥在摸我的胸
'cause Adolf Hitler was motor-boating my boobs.
好吧谢谢你香奈儿二号♥
Well, thank you, Chanel #2.
我接受你的道歉
I accept your apology.
我很抱歉你被杀死了
And I'm sorry you got murdered and are dead.
我还有件事情要告诉你
There's something else I should tell you,
很重要的事
something important.
其他的香奈儿姐♥妹♥们♥要谋杀你香奈儿
The other Chanels are gonna try to murder you, Chanel.
他们准备今晚动手
They're gonna try to murder you tonight.
-什么 -她们正在从商场回来的路上
- What? - They're on their way back from the mall
他们准备用一个保龄球
with a bowling ball they're gonna use
来砸烂你的头
to bash your skull in
一旦你因为药剂昏睡过去
as soon as you pass out from your Prunex.
好吧看来我需要先把她们杀了
Well, looks like I'll have to kill them first.
不心胸宽广一点
No! Be the bigger person!
这些女孩需要你
These girls need you.
卡帕公♥馆♥需要你
Kappa House needs you.
现在赶紧醒醒
Now rise up
做好那个我相信你能做好的领袖
and be the leader I know you can be.
-你还好吗 -没事我只是
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I just,
只是有点晕血
I just get a little faint when I see blood.
好吧我们走
All right, let's go.
你觉得哪个是她的
Which one do you think is hers?
粉色的那个看起来比较新
The pink one. It looks newer.
老年人的牙刷总是磨损非常严重
Old people toothbrushes are always super worn down
而且尾部总是橡胶头
and have that rubber tip thing at the end.
好吧现在我们把这个给警♥察♥
Okay. So now we have to give this to the cops
这样就可以做DNA测试得出结果了
so we can compare the DNA and wait for the results.
好吧好吧
All right, all right, all right.
完美的DNA匹配
A perfect DNA match.
实验室是这么说的
That is what the lab said.
使用这个牙刷的人
The person that used this toothbrush
和咬那个腊肠三明治的人是同一个人
is the same person that bit into that bologna sandwich.
我本该想到的
I should have figured it out myself.
我从来不明白为什么会有人
It always bugged me why someone
费那么大的精力
would go through all that effort
做一个三明治但却不把它吃完
to make a sandwich and not finish it.
这样的行为本身就很可疑
It's pretty suspicious behavior.
那么牙刷和三明治上的DNA
So the DNA on that toothbrush
确实是属于费瑟
and the sandwich definitely belongs to Feather?
毫无疑问
Without a doubt,
我猜这所有的杀戮
and I guess all of that killing
肢解和假装
and dismembering
不是她做的