尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S01E07

Part 7 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:50 a.m.

and pretending that it wasn't her
都让她饥饿
made her hungry--
但又不是很饿
But not that hungry.
如果她的胃口再大一点
If she would only have had a bigger appetite,
她也许就逍遥法外了
she might have gotten away with it.
总之做的很棒
Anyway, great work guys.
警局欠你们一个人情
The force owes you one.
我想整个学校都欠你们一次
The whole campus does, I suppose.
显然费瑟·麦卡锡就是红衣恶魔
Clearly Feather Mccarthy is our Red Devil.
但是蒙什教务长呢
But what about Dean Munsch?
老娘回来了
Oh, mommy's home.
费瑟被逮捕的时候我就被释放了
I was released as soon as Feather was arrested.
真遗憾我没有看见
I'm sorry I didn't get to see her
她带着手铐的样子
dragged away in chains.
我听说她哭的撕心裂肺
I heard she cried like a little bitch.
你真的认为是她
Do you really think she's responsible
杀死了所有的人吗
for all of the killings on campus?
她和1995年这里的事又有什么关系呢
And how is she related to what happened here in 1995?
我不是很确定
Well, I can't be sure,
但是我知道费瑟·麦卡锡
but what I do know is that Feather Mccarthy
就是个疯子
is Feather Mcnutty.
我做了点调查
I did a little digging,
原来费瑟有个网站
and it turns out that Feather had a web site
叫做"我爱腊肠"
called "Ilovebologna.org".
而我一个朋友精神病医生
and she's what a psychiatrist
称她是"腊肠型重度恋物癖"
friend of mine refers to as a "Capicolaphilist"
虽然并非我所想的那种
Which is not, as I thought, someone who's turned on
看到或摸到午餐肉
by the sight and feel
而欲♥火♥焚身的人
of lunch meats but,
更恶心那是一种听到别人
more disgustingly, someone who's turned on
说出"腊肠"两个字就欲♥火♥焚身的人
by someone who pronounces bologna
或者接近腊肠的发音就行
the way it's spelled-- "Bow-log-na."
我们在警局
That is what we down at the station
称其为"证据大乱♥交♥"
like to call an "Orgy of evidence."
我们目前没有将她
Now, we don't actually have a motive
与其他谋杀
that ties her to all
联♥系♥起来的动机
the other recent killings,
但从统计学上来说
But, you know, statistically speaking,
一个学校里既有一个
The chances that there is a woman capable
能够谋杀并肢解
of murdering and dismembering
其男朋友的女人又有另一个
her boyfriend and then a whole other
疯狂手段百出的
crazy, creative killer
杀人犯的概率微乎其微
on one campus at the same time are pretty slim.
我没统计精确数字但肯定如此对吧
I didn't run the numbers, but they'd have to be, right?
没错
Yes.
真是谢谢你们两个积极分子
And thanks to you two go-getters,
秩序不但恢复了
order has not just been restored--
而且升级了
It has been improved!
等一下
Hold on.
-什么事 -我们说好的
- What? - We had a deal.
告诉我那个孩子怎么样了
Tell me what happened to the baby.
费瑟又为什么与此有关
And how Feather is related to all this.
如果她是外人
No way she's the killer
那她不可能是凶手
if she doesn't have a connection.
单独到我办公室来
Come to my office alone.
-下周 -下周
- Next week. - Next week?
我还要
I'm running
掌管一个高等教育学院
an institution of higher learning
还要为颁奖季设计礼服
and designing dresses for awards season.
让我喘口气吧
Give me a break.
我就直说了吧
I'm gonna cut to the chase.
我知道你们仨想干什么
I know what you three are up to.
你们正密谋杀了我
You're plotting to murder me.
-什么没 -香奈儿这太扯了
- What? No! - Chanel, that's insane.
我杀了亲妈也不会杀你啊
I would sooner kill my own mother.
住口海牛们我知道真♥相♥
Can it, manatees! I know the truth
是因为我比你们都聪明
because I'm smarter than all of you.
我好奇的是你们怎么还没动手
What I'm curious about is what, exactly, is taking so long?
-我们没统一好怎么杀你 -闭嘴三号♥
- We couldn't agree on how to do it. - Shut up, Number Three.
你们倾向于什么手段
Well, what method were you leaning towards?
我们本打算在你的减肥药里放老鼠药
We were going to put rat poison in your prunex.
但我担心你会先尝再吃
But I was worried you'd taste it
尝完发现被下了毒
and know you'd been poisoned
就跑去医院了
and run to the hospital.
所以你们这帮屎脑子才需要我
See, this is why you turdlets need me.
你们连一个
You're not even competent enough
差劲联谊会会长都杀不了
to kill one lousy sorority co-president.
科普一下老鼠药能杀老鼠
Newsflash, felchers: Rat poison only works
是因为啮齿动物没有呕吐反射
because rodents don't have a gag reflex.
如果给人吃老鼠药
If you gave a human rat poison,
他们会立刻全吐出来
They would immediately puke it all up,
所以我不仅不会
So not only would I have survived
被你们杀死
your attempt on my life,
你们还帮我减了肥
it would have also made me skinnier.
对不起香奈儿
I'm so sorry, Chanel.
-想杀你真是太蠢了 -我们这么做
- It was stupid to try to murder you. - We only did it
是因为我们以为你是凶手
because we thought that you were the killer!
我愿意不计前嫌
I'm willing to let bygones be bygones
并将这次蓄意谋杀归结为你们年少冲动
and chalk this attempted murder up to youthful enthusiasm.
而且我也很抱歉认为我本可以成为
And I'm sorry, too. You're not the only ones
更优秀的领导者的人不止你们仨
who think I could be a better leader.
香奈儿二号♥在我昨晚腹泻发烧
Chanel #2 appeared to me last night
睡着之后给我托梦说了一模一样的话
in a prunex fever dream and said essentially the same thing.
所以为了买♥♥回你们的友谊
So in an effort to buy back your friendship,
我给你们准备了礼物
I got you all presents.
我们要用这些南茜·朱尔式的侦察帽
We are gonna use these Nancy Drew-looking sleuthing caps
以及硕大的放大镜
and enormous magnifying glasses
团结一心抓到凶手
and catch the killer as a team.
但他们已经抓到凶手了
But they already caught the killer.
相信我那个费瑟谁也没杀
Trust me. That Feather didn't kill anyone.
她太笨了
She's too stupid.
我第一次见她的时候她问我叫什么
When I first met her, she asked me what my name was
然后又问我她叫什么
and then asked me what her name was.
等等如果费瑟不是凶手那谁是
Wait, if Feather's not the killer, who is?
凶手有两个分别是格蕾丝和扎丹
There are two killers, and their names are Grace and Zayday.
还记得吗
I'll remind you
正是这两个人来到这座公♥馆♥之后
that this killing spree began when those two
才出现了连环杀人
walked into this house.
他们的目的是想整垮姐妹会
They're trying to bring down this sorority
抢走我们性感而又受欢迎的男朋友
and steal our hot, popular boyfriends.
我们姐妹四个将揭露她们的丑陋行径
The four of us are gonna expose those sluts for the killers they are
并且重振KKT姐妹会
and restore order to Kappa Kappa Tau.
我说清楚了吗婊♥子♥们
Do I make myself clear, you whores?
很好
Good.
我说实话
I'm not gonna lie.
我的心情真的很愉悦
I'm feeling good.
并不是因为那个小贱♥人♥费瑟
And not because that little bitch Feather is going to
杀了我前夫而要蹲监狱
prison after killing my ex-husband.
而是因为她背负莫须有的杀人罪名
I'm feeling good because she's going to prison
而要蹲监狱
after not killing him.
我老公并不是费瑟杀的
Feather didn't kill my hubby.
是我杀的
I did.
因为正好有连环杀人狂
With a serial killer on the loose,
杀死他时机正好
it was perfect timing.
我清楚这起谋杀也会轻描淡写地被归结到
I knew the murder would probably just get lumped in
其他谋杀案中
with all the others.
而警方为了防止连环杀人犯再次杀人
And with the cops desperate to stop the killer before he killed again,
他们肯定只草率地走个过场收集证据
I knew they'd be sloppy with the evidence.
博洛尼亚的主意我很多年前就想好了
Oh, I had the Bologna idea years ago,
当时一位天真无邪的中学生走进我的办公室
when a cherubic little co-ed wandered into my office.
我觉得我的外语课程至少能拿三个学分