尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S01E11

Part 2 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:52 a.m.

你们跟我说这个纯属浪费时间
You guys are wasting your time talking to me.
我刚被炒了
I was just fired.
他们炒了整个凶杀案部门
They fired the entire homicide department
以及局长
and the Chief of Police.
外面穿制♥服♥的警♥察♥大部分都是自愿的
Most of the uniformed cops out there are working
因为只要他们不是每天敲破太多头
on a-a volunteer basis because they get backed up inside
里面就有人罩着他们
if they don't crack a few skulls every day.
好吧他们怎么能炒了所有人呢
Okay, h-how can they fire everyone?
这个嘛
Well...
我们对红衣恶魔的案子一点头绪也没有
The mayor got pretty pissed that we had zero leads
还把这个月的预算
on that whole red devil thing
全花在捉鬼设备上
and we spent our budget for the month
市长因此大发雷霆
on the ghost hunting supplies.
有个杀人魔在附近作恶你却告诉我们
There's a killer on the loose and you're telling us
这个镇没有丝毫警力吗
this town has no police force?
别这么激动嘛
Oh, oh, don't get too worked up about it.
他们这会儿正面试一些顶尖精英
They're interviewing some tip-top candidates
来接替我们的还有...
right now as we speak to take over. And, uh,
我要开自己的室内设计公♥司♥了
I'm opening my own interior design company.
如果你们需要
So if any of you need some
室内设计的话...
interiors designed...
这一直是我的梦想
It's always been my dream.
那么...
Well...
如果你们不介意的话...
If you guys'll excuse me...
我还有很多东西等着打包呢
I got a lot more packing to do.
我该给五号♥买♥♥一对九十九美分
Should I get number five a pair of 99-cent brass studs
会让她耳垂发绿感染的耳钉呢
that'll turn her earlobes green and give her an infection
还是价值一点九九美元
or a pair of $1.99 danglies
会钩住毛衣扯烂耳洞的耳坠呢
that'll get caught on her sweater and tear her earholes?
真是个好问题
Hmm. That's a really good question.
好吧姐♥妹♥们♥
Okay, you know what, you guys,
我不明白你为什么要送我们垃圾礼物
I don't understand why you have to get us the crappiest gifts
还让我们事先知道一切
possible and then make sure we know about it beforehand
就为了毁掉惊喜
just to ruin the surprise.
你说什么最大的惊喜就是我送你们东西了
Um, hello? The surprise is that you're getting anything at all.
你们应该开心啊
You guys should be happy
至少我还惦记着你们
you're even on my radar.
我想五号♥的意思是在我们花了那么久去挑
I think what number five is trying to say is that since
还花了大价钱给你买♥♥了个完美的香奈儿
we spent so much time and money picking you out the perfect
经典款鳄鱼皮大包包后...
Chanel classic flap crocodile jumbo purse for you...
你们这群蠢婊给我香奈儿
You dumb bitches got me-- Chanel--
买♥♥了香奈儿经典款鳄鱼皮大包包吗
a Chanel classic flap crocodile purse?
是啊
Oh, yeah.
太可笑了我的意思是
That is bizarre. I mean, that's like
这跟带菠萝去夏威夷有什么不同
bringing pineapples to Hawaii.
你们知道卡尔叔叔
You know Uncle Karl
一直免费送我香奈儿对吧
gives me Chanel swag for free, right?
所以你们觉得花一万三千美元
So would you feel the need to waste $13,000
送我早就有的东西有必要吗
buying me something I already have?
圣诞节嘛
Cause it's christmas.
天呐
Oh, my god.
我可能误解黑色星期五了
Maybe I've got this whole Black Friday thing wrong.
或许我不该用我多到恶心的钱
Maybe instead of using my disgusting wealth
给朋友买♥♥垃圾货
to buy my friends crap,
我该用我那多到恶心的钱
I should use my disgusting wealth to buy my friends
买♥♥朋友们真正喜欢的东西
things they would actually enjoy.
走吧我们走吧
Come on, let's get out of here.
等等我们要去哪儿
Wait, w-where are we going?
去对面克莱斯勒的店里
To the Chrysler dealership across the street.
我要给每个人都买♥♥台粉色吉普
I'm buying us all matching pink jeeps.
等等什么
Wait, what?
没错肯定会很有趣
Yes. It's gonna be so fun.
我们可以开着粉色吉普
We can take our matching pink jeeps
去非洲野游什么的
on, like, an African safari or something.
我们怎么知道店里有四台
How do we know that they're gonna have
一样的粉色吉普
four identical pink jeeps?
是啊我们又怎么开着吉普去非洲
Yeah, and how are we gonna get the jeeps to Africa?
我们要把车用船运过去还是直接坐船过去
I mean, are we gonna ship them or we gonna take a ferry?
我不知道五号♥ 别再挑我
I don't know, number five, okay? Stop poking holes
粉色吉普计划的漏子乖乖地接受
in the pink jeep idea, please, and just accept the fact
我给大家买♥♥粉色吉普的事实吧
that I'm buying you all pink jeeps.
知足吧你五号♥ 真是的
Take the win, number five. Geez!
几点了
What time is it?
天哪商场都没人了
Oh, my god. The mall is deserted.
没喝一滴水没吃一个棉球
We've been shopping for, like, ever
我们居然逛了那么久
with no liquids or cotton balls.
没事的找到出口就行
It's fine, we'll just find an exit.
不我们被锁里面了
Oh, no, we're locked in!
别做梦了五号♥
Oh, as if, number five.
天呐
Oh, my god...
-都是你的错五号♥ -会没事的
- This is all your fault, number five! - It's gonna be okay!
-会没事的 -你一直跟着我
- It's gonna be okay! - And you're constantly behind me...
-还有你那蠢毙了的小鸡腿 -都怪她
- And your stupid little chicken legs... - Everything is her fault!
我来帮你我来帮你香奈儿
I'm coming to help you! I'm gonna help you, Chanel!
我过来帮你
I'm gonna come and help you.
不快看
Oh, no-- look!
等等看那边
Wait, look.
快点
Hurry!
我可是卡帕的会长
I am Kappa president.
好了蒙什
All right, Munsch.
我想这里只剩我和你了
I guess it's finally just me and you.
快来射我啊黄脸婆这只会让我
Oh, go on and shoot me, hag. It'll just make me
永远年轻苗条而你还是个老太婆
young and skinny forever and you'll still be old.
来啊了结我吧
Come on, finish me off,
你这个干瘪的老妪
you shriveled, old crone!
撑住啊黄毛丫头
Hold on, baby girl!
别动
Freeze!
第一天上班我就抓住凶手了
First day on the job and I caught a killer.
你插翅难逃了扎丹·威廉姆斯
Ain't no way you're getting out of this one, Zayday Williams.
等等你居然有枪
Wait, you have a gun?
当然有了
I sure do,
因为我是本镇的新任警♥察♥局长
'cause I am the new chief of police in this town.
其他人都被炒了因为他们太菜了
They rest of the force got fired 'cause of gross incompetence
他们还请了迪尼斯·亨普希尔
and they hired Denise Hemphill, 'cause clearly
因为很明显
I'm the only one
我是唯一有侦探能力去抓住...
with the sleuthin' skills to catch a s...
卧♥槽♥ 他射伤他了
Damn, he shot him!
还想溜之大吉
And he getting away!
他把这颗大树弄倒了
Oh, he knocked over that big ol' tree!
真操蛋我怎么没早开枪打他
Damn! Why didn't I shoot him when I had the chance?
我真是话太多了
I was just talking so much!
卡帕的姐♥妹♥们♥ 现在开会
Ladies of Kappa, I'm calling this house meeting to order.
-十字弩弄的伤还好吗 -很好谢谢
- How's your crossbow wound? - It's doing very well, thank you.
没被射中大动脉
The arrow missed all major arteries,
我也有在吃一些很厉害的止痛药
and I'm currently rolling on some sweet painkillers.
姐♥妹♥们♥...
Sisters...
我想很显然蒙什教务长就是真凶
I think it's clear that Dean Munsch is the killer.
-我可不觉得有那么明显 -就是有
- Well, I'm not sure it's that clear at all. - It's clear.
从第一天起蒙什教务长就在追杀我
Dean Munsch has been after me and Kappa House
以及卡帕公♥馆♥的姐♥妹♥们♥
as an institution since day one.
况且只有她知道我们几个要去商场
And she was the only person who knew we were going to the mall.
她盘算着那是把我们全干掉的绝佳场所
She knew it would be the perfect place to kill us all.
这说明蒙什教务长一直在精心策划着
That means Dean Munsch has been orchestrating
每一起袭击事件
every one of these attacks.
比如梅勒妮·多克斯那次
Melanie Dorkus.
失聪版泰勒·斯威夫特那次
Deaf Taylor Swift.
还有那个女保安
That other security guard.
还有淫♥魔♥拉拉
Predatory Lez.
还有我的罗杰和多杰
Roger and Dodger.
还有查德的烦人断手朋友
Chad's irritating armless friend.