尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S01E11

Part 7 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:52 a.m.

set to negative 200 degrees below zero.
扎丹你说
Zayday, go.
我听说一些佛教的和尚
I heard about these buddhist monks
有一种冥想的方法
that found a way to meditate,
让他们可以整晚待在
so they can sit outside all night,
有着能杀死普通人温度的
way, way up in the Himalayas in weather
喜马拉雅山的高处
that would kill a normal person,
但他们的核心温度却很正常
but their core temperature stays totally normal.
你认为蒙什教务长在喜马拉雅山
So, you think Dean Munsch studied meditation
跟和尚学了冥想吗
with buddhist monks in the Himalayas?
我不就是这么说的吗
That's what I said, wasn't it?
五号♥ 你说
Number five, go.
我看过一个纪录片讲一个中学生
So, I saw this documentary once about this high schooler
如果他特别特别集中自己的注意力
who could grow all this really thick hair all over his body,
浑身就会长满浓密的毛发
if he concentrated really, really hard on it.
蒙什教务长也许也能做到
And maybe Dean Munsch can do that, too.
那孩子真是棒极了
I mean, this kid was, like, amazing.
只靠他一人就赢了
Like, he won this high school basketball championship
中学篮球联赛
singlehanded...
你是在说电影《少狼》你这个白♥痴♥
You're thinking of the movie Teen Wolf, you brainless gash,
那不是什么纪录片
which is not, in fact, a documentary!
也许蒙什教务长就像拉斯普♥京♥一样
Maybe Dean Munsch is like Rasputin.
什么
Like what?!
拉斯普♥京♥
Rasputin.
他是俄♥国♥的一名神秘农夫
He was a mystical Russian peasant who became a close advisor
因治好了阿列克谢皇太子的血友病
of Tsar Nicholas II because he could magically
成为尼古拉二世的内臣
cure Prince Alexei of his hemophilia.
这跟我们所说的事完全没有联♥系♥
Okay, this seems totally not germane to what we're talking about,
我们能就此跳过吗
so can we please just skip ahead...?
不听着
No! Listen!
拉斯普♥京♥通过沙皇掌握大权
Rasputin gained more and more power with the tsarina,
然后有一群人密谋请拉斯普♥京♥吃饭
so, a group of conspirators invited Rasputin to dinner
他们想用毒酒毒死他
so that they could give him a cup of poisoned wine.
但拉斯普♥京♥喝下整杯毒酒后
But when Rasputin drank the entire bottle of poisoned wine,
却毫无反应只是一直打嗝
it had no effect on him, except just making him burp a lot.
有一个密谋者就发疯似的掏出枪
So one of the plotters freaked out and took a pistol
对着拉斯普♥京♥的胸口就是一枪
right in Rasputin's chest and shot him.
但什么都没发生
But it did nothing,
他只是尖叫
except just made him scream,
还在打嗝
along with the burping.
他们又打了一枪还是没用
So they shot him again-- nothing!
之后他们又冲头开一枪还是没用
And then, they shot him in the head. Still nothing!
拉斯普♥京♥
Rasputin
不会死
wouldn't die.
他们就用木棍疯狂地击打
They decided to just take a club and start beating him
直到
until finally,
拉斯普♥京♥不再动弹
Rasputin stopped moving.
他们切掉他的生殖器把他包在地毯里
They cut off his genitalia, wrapped him in a rug
扔进了冰冷的河水
and threw him into an icy river.
两天后在下游找到他的尸体时
Two days later, when they found the body
拉斯普♥京♥的指甲都没有了
floating downstream, Rasputin's nails were gone!
他尝试
He tried clawing himself
从冰里爬出来
out of the ice.
最终他被淹死了
In the end, he drowned.
也许她有一些
Maybe she has some
让她死不了的神秘力量
magical powers that make her unable to die,
就跟电影里的坏人一样
like some horror movie villain,
迈克尔·梅耶斯詹森恐怖医生
like Michael Myers, or Jason, or Dr. Giggles.
等一下
Hold on.
我想到了一个办法
I just thought of something.
我本来打算庆祝下一个黑色星期五时
I was gonna wait to give you guys these
再把这些给你们的
to celebrate another successful Black Friday.
但我改主意了
But now I have another idea.
这些是全新的智能手♥机♥
They're brand-new smartphones.
你们要时刻带着
And keep them on you at all times.
我喜欢我现在的手♥机♥
I like the phone I already have.
这些更好用相信我
These phones are better! Trust me!
我已经激活了每部手♥机♥
I already activated each phone,
我打给你们的时候
so when I call you,
手♥机♥边缘会静音闪烁一种颜色
the edge will silently flash a color.
你们拿到的这款闪红色
In this case, red.
如果你们看到手♥机♥边缘闪烁红色
Now, when you see the edge go red,
不用接电♥话♥
don't even pick up.
直接偷偷到大学泳池就行
Just quietly head down to the university pool.
我会把蒙什教务长骗到那说我要单独见她
I'll lure Dean Munsch there by asking her to meet me alone,
然后在她准备动手杀掉我之前
and then, right before she can murder me,
我们淹死那贱♥人♥ 和拉斯普♥京♥一样下场
we'll drown the bitch, just like Rasputin.
都懂了吗很好
Got it? Good.
不好意思
Hi. Excuse me?
这些款式都给我拿最小号♥
So, I'm gonna need all of these to be a size zero.
这些款式应该都有最小号♥
Well, they all should come in a size zero.
我是说我需要这些款式的最小号♥
Okay, but I'm gonna need these to be a size zero,
可现在这些是特大号♥的
and right now, they're a size four.
那你就试下最小号♥
So, maybe try on a size zero.
我才不会去试穿最小号♥
Okay, I'm not gonna try on the size zero
因为我根本穿不进
because I won't fit into the size zero.
我只能穿得进特大号♥
I fit into the size four,
可我才不要买♥♥一堆特大号♥内♥裤♥走人
but I'm not gonna leave the store with a bunch of size fours.
我要拿到最小号♥内♥裤♥才走
I'm gonna leave the store with a bunch of size zeroes.
我还是没明白你到底想让我怎么帮你
I really don't know what you're asking me to do.
不好意思你这样的态度真是太过分了
I'm sorry, but do you realize how rude you're being?
你根本没资格这样对待我们的朋友
You have no right to treat our friend like that.
我...我只是不知道你们到底想要什么
I-I just don't know what you're asking. I...
我想让你做的
Okay, what I am asking you to do
就是把所有最小号♥的标签撕下
is to take all the tags off of the size zeroes
再全部贴到特大号♥内♥裤♥上
and put them onto the size fours so that
这样我就能心满意足地离开这家店
I can leave this establishment with what I came for,
也就是买♥♥走一堆最小号♥性感内♥裤♥
which is a bunch of size zero garments of a sexy lingerie nature!
这我可能做不到
I don't think I can do that.
做不到
You can't?
做不到什么你的工作
Can't do what? Your job?
你这是歧视
This is discrimination!
你居然不让我们购物你好大的胆子
You're not letting us shop? How dare you?!
让她满意她一无所有
Make her happy! She has nothing.
又很可怜
She's a terrible person.
看着她满足她满足她让她开心
Look at her. Give her something. Give her something to be happy!
拜托这群白♥痴♥在搞什么
Come on, what is wrong with these idiots?!
香奈儿
Hello, Chanel.
你为什么约我到这见面
Why did you ask me to meet you here?
为什么还带着明显装着铁链的包
And why are you carrying a bag clearly filled with chains?
束缚
Bondage.
束缚
Bondage?
我思考了这周的大学女权主义集♥会♥
Yeah, I-I thought for this week's campus feminist collective,
觉得可以聊聊现代文学里性♥虐♥的崛起
we could talk about the rise of S&M in contemporary literature.
想着你说不定能给点意见
I thought you might have a few words to say on it.
有关束缚
About bondage?
大家人呢
Where is everybody?
其实我也不知道
Actually, I don't know.
你觉得会不会可能是因为
Do you think maybe it's because
有个连环杀人狂逍遥法外
there's a serial killer on the loose,
整个校园的学生都已经被疏散
and the entire campus has been evacuated?
我居然才刚想起来真是太蠢了
See, now I'm feeling really stupid because I'm just remembering that.
那...那可真是可惜了
Well, it's, uh... it's a shame.
因为关于这件事我有挺多想说的
Because I have quite a lot to say on the matter.
还有个问题
One more thing.
你为什么和大学女权主义者
Why did you want the campus feminists
约在泳池见面
to meet at a pool?
我想着可以聊聊束缚顺便一起游泳
I thought we could talk about bondage and... Go for a swim.
整个姐妹会的愚昧和无能水平
The sheer level of idiocy and ineptitude inside this sorority
已经达到了忍♥无可忍♥的地步
has reached a level that can no longer be tolerated.
我要写一封信