尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S01E13

Part 2 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:52 a.m.

We did have to get into college
才能实行计划
before we could execute our plan.
这点很难因为我们都没念过高中
Hard, since we never went to high school.
布恩比我早一年去当了卧底
Boone went undercover a year before I did.
其实他没有在学校登记
He never actually enrolled in school.
由于这些兄弟会的家伙从不去上课
Since none of those frat guys ever went to class,
所以他只需出现在那里
it was easy to just show up there,
说他是这儿的学生就能默默混进去
say he was a student, and blend right in.
但我要名正言顺
But I wanted to do it right.
好吧海丝特
Well, Hester,
你的高中成绩单显然是假的
your high school transcripts are clearly faked.
我猜你的高考成绩也是自己编的
And I'm guessing you made up your SAT scores,
因为你不可能考一百万分
'cause it's not possible to get one million percent on them.
不过话虽如此
Now, that being said,
最近我们华♥莱♥士♥大学又有了新政策
we do have a new mandate here at Wallace University
关于学生多样性的特殊需求
for special needs diversity.
鉴于我们从未招收过
And seeing as we have no students
严重脊椎弯曲的学生
with severe spinal deformities,
我...决定给你个机会
I... am gonna take a chance on you.
欢迎来到华♥莱♥士♥
Welcome to Wallace.
谢谢你教务长
Thank you, Dean.
你不会后悔的
You won't regret it.
好酷的颈托
Ooh, cool neck brace.
你想过装饰它一下吗
You ever think about decorating it?
我房♥间里有个水晶钉扣器
I've got a Bedazzler back in my room.
给它加点料如何
What do you say we spice it up a bit?
不用了
Um, no.
但是听上去挺好玩的
But that sounds like a lot of fun.
希望你们别嫌弃我的外表
I hope you guys aren't freaked out by my appearance
还有我没钱没情商
or lack of social skills and money.
不会的我们都是KKT姐妹会的新人
Hardly. We're part of a new wave of Kappa Kappa Tau,
这是一个真正充满姐妹情和认同感的地方
one filled with true sisterhood and acceptance.
扎丹有一天会当上这儿的会长
Zayday here is gonna be president of this place someday.
来吧我们去找乐子吧宝贝们
Come on. Let's go mingle, babies.
我待会就来
I'll catch up.
对了你们看起来人超好
By the way, you guys seem really nice.
我常说善良是很好的品质
I've always said that being nice is a really good quality.
有一天它会救你们的命
It could save your life one day.
很好
Great.
于是就这样
And so it came to be
海丝特·乌利希索菲娅·道尔的女儿
that Hester Ulrich, daughter of Sophia Doyle,
回到卡帕公♥馆♥ 准备报仇雪恨
returned to Kappa House to get her revenge.
那晚就是一切的开端
And that was the night it all started.
而今晚则是一切的结局
And tonight, it all ends.
秩序已经恢复正如她们所说
Order is restored, as they say.
不只是恢复...是重建
More than restored-- reborn.
现在我拥有了真正的姐妹真正的家庭
Now I have some true sisters, some real family.
我唯一真正得到过父爱的地方是孤儿院
The only dad I ever had was the asylum.
唯一的家人是那两个白♥痴♥琪琪和布恩
My only family were those nutburgers Gigi and Boone.
而现在我知道了我真正的父亲是谁
But now I know who my real dad is
还有我真正的姐妹尽管他们并不知道
and my real half-sister, even if they don't.
而最妙的地方是
And the best part is
这还不是最妙的地方
that that isn't even the best part.
好吧这也不是最妙的地方
Well, that isn't the best part either.
最妙的地方是那些没有出现的人
The best part is who isn't up here with us.
是的没有香奈儿们了
Yep. No Chanels.
我是说这些黑锅总得有人背
I mean, someone had to take all the blame.
对吧
Right?
2015年12月
你可能在想
You're probably thinking,
什么人
what kind of person
能把15厘米长的鞋跟扎进自己的眼窝
could drive a six-inch stiletto into her own eye socket?
海丝特你不会有事的不会有事的
Hester, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay.
鞋还有救吗
Can we save the shoe?
那就是准备完备的人
A person who did her homework, that's who!
首先我要给自己的头骨拍个X光
First, I had to get an X-ray of my own skull.
然后我得计算鞋跟的长度
Then, I had to calculate the proper length of the heel,
插入的角度
the angle of the insertion,
用恰到好处的力
with just the right amount of force
擦过眼球却不会伤到眼窝
to slip behind the eyeball without damaging the socket.
如果你是个疯子的话也很有帮助
Also, it helps to be completely frickin' insane.
因为要想完成这种计划
Because for a plan like this to work,
你得心甘情愿自残
you have to be willing to totally commit.
特殊情况特殊对待
I mean, desperate times call for desperate measures.
如果我想洗清谋杀的嫌疑
This was the price I had to pay
并把黑锅甩给别人
if I wanted to get away with murder
我就得付出这种代价
and pin it all on someone else.
红衣恶魔
The Red Devil!
因为有些人连被杀都不配
Because some people don't deserve to just get murdered.
他们需要真正的惩罚
They need to be truly punished.
我发誓不是我♥干♥的
I didn't do it, I swear!
拜托我们都知道那个五分钱乐队的人
Oh, please, we all know the guy from Nickelback
其实没有喜欢你的资料
did not, in fact, swipe right on your profile.
他真的喜欢了
Uh, yes, he did, okay?
五分钱乐队正在城里给某个孩子做成年礼呢
Nickelback is in town playing some kid's bat mitzvah.
得了吧这显然就是
Please! It was clearly a ruse
你为了偷溜回公♥馆♥谋杀六号♥的诡计
so you could sneak back into the house and kill Number Six!
我怎么会杀人呢香奈儿
I would never, Chanel!
我是好人
I'm one of the good guys!
我知道
Look, I-I know,
我知道自己不善交际
I know that I can be socially awkward
惹人厌烦
and-and a little bit off-putting
很多人觉得和我交往很难
and that most people find it very difficult to be around me,
但你了解我香奈儿
but you know me, Chanel.
我不是杀手
I'm not the killer.
你说什么
Um, excuse me?
正因为我了解你
I think you're a serial killer
我才觉得你就是个连环杀手五号♥
because I know you, Number Five!
你连自己的脚趾甲都啃
You bite your own toenails.
那是我柔韧性好
Okay, I am flexible.
上帝已经赐给了我
Why would I waste my money buying toenail clippers
能咬到脚趾甲的嘴
when God already blessed me with toenail clippers
我♥干♥嘛还花钱买♥♥指甲钳
in the form of teeth in my mouth?!
而且你就是二号♥尸体失踪的发现人
It's awfully convenient that you're the one who noticed
还真是巧呢
Number Two's body went missing.
也许你早就知道尸体不见了
Maybe you knew it was gone
因为你已经把尸体搬到谢迪兰老太婆的房♥子了
'cause you'd already taken it to the house on Shady Lane.
我们应该熬夜
Look, we should all just stay up
等五号♥累得昏过去
and wait until Number Five gets tired and passes out.
她睡着之后什么实话都说
She confesses all sorts of crazy stuff in her sleep.
来公♥馆♥的
She and I were roommates
第一年我们是室友
the first year we lived in the house.
我打开了奶奶轮椅的锁
I unlocked the brakes on Grandma's wheelchair
让她滑下人行道冲进车流
so that she would slide down the driveway into the traffic.
闭嘴
Shut up!
睡觉
Go to sleep!
放屁的时候我会用手捂住然后闻
When I fart, I cup it in my hand and smell it.
天哪闭嘴吧
Dear God, shut up!
等等你们都闭嘴
Wait a minute. Everybody, shut up!
我知道怎么回事了
I know what happened.
你杀了二号♥
You killed Number Two
还在你跟罗杰和多杰
and confessed it in your sleep to Roger and Dodger
双飞之后告诉了他们
after a hot night of letting them Eiffel Tower you.
你发现他们知道后
And once you knew that they both knew,
就意识到必须杀了他们
you realized you'd have to kill them!
我懂了
Oh, I see where this is going.
你要把所有的谋杀都算到我头上
You're gonna try and pin all of these murders on me
好让我下半辈子都在牢里过
so I spend the rest of my life in prison.
不我的朋友
Oh, no, my friend.
你会去坐电椅
You... are going to the electric chair.
不要
No!