杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S01E22
Part 3
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:21 p.m.
All yours.
好极了
Awesome.
你懂和拉塞尔在一起是什么感觉
I mean, you know what it's like with Russell.
-是啊 -是啊
- Yeah. - Yeah!
跟坐过山车一样
I mean... It's this roller coaster.
就像站在游艇的船头
It's like standing on the bow of a catamaran
在一场暴风雨中被浪水冲撞着
blasted with spray during a perfect storm.
除了你是裸着的
But you're... naked and...
并且欲♥火♥焚身
and you're on fire.
你懂吗
You know?
是啊 我懂
Yeah. I do.
我会说" 把你激♥情♥收收吧"
I'm just, like, "Russell, put away the passion."
还有
And...
-给我看看你不温不火的时候 -是啊
- show me a moderately good time. - Yeah.
都快疯了
Crazy.
-太疯狂了 -是很疯狂
- So crazy. - It's crazy.
拉塞尔
Russell.
干嘛
What?
你一直在敲什么呢
What's with all the hammering?
这是什么鬼东西
Whoa! What the hell is this thing?
这东西太诡异了
This thing is creepy.
这是稻草人 好吗
Yeah, it's called a scarecrow, okay?
那群鸟一直来骚扰我的小植物
Birds keep coming after my plants.
不管你在干吗 拜托不要再敲了好吗
Whatever you're doing, just... stop with the hammering, okay?
因为和我现在正在楼下
Because me and Shelby are downstairs, right now,
准备做♥爱♥
trying to make love.
你需要这么直白地说出来吗
Ugh! Did you honestly just say that?
老兄 我们在做♥爱♥ 多么美好的事情
Well, dude, we're making love, man. It's beautiful.
你就像变了个人 大哥
Who have you become, man?
我很幸福 我不能幸福吗
I'm happy. Am I not allowed to be happy?
你可以幸福
You're allowed to be happy,
但你幸福的方式 太烦人了
but it's really annoying, the way you're doing it.
你知道我不在乎什么吗
You know what I don't care about?
谢尔比
Shelby.
谢尔比大爱解谜游戏
Oh, Shelby loves puzzles.
谢尔比爱吃甜甜圈 但讨厌中间那个洞
Oh, Shelby loves donuts, but hates donut holes.
你干嘛那么讨厌谢尔比
Why are you hating on Shelby so much?
我曾经是你的谢尔比
I used to be your Shelby!
这话没经大脑
That came out wrong.
不好意思 我不觉得这是我的错
I'm sorry, I didn't know it was my fault
不是我让你的生活一团糟
that your life sucks
让你这么悲摧的
and you're so miserable.
看看你自己 你就像
Look at yourself! You look like one of those guys
迈克尔·杰克逊经典音乐MV
《惊颤》里从坟墓里爬出来的一样
who crawls out of the grave in the "Thriller" Video.
-你滚吧 -你确定
- I want you to git. - Seriously?
我要你滚出我的农场
I want you to git off my farm!
你已经有点古怪了 哥们儿
This is a little weird, man.
你曾是我最好的朋友
You used to be my best friend.
现在我不知道了
Now, I don't know!
继续自说自话吧 哥们儿
Talk to yourself, man.
-快滚 -我滚了
- So git! - I'm gitten!
-我才不需要你呢 -闭嘴
- I don't need ya! - Shut up!
拉塞尔
Hey, Russell.
我有让你抓狂过吗
Do I ever drive you crazy?
当然没有
Of course not.
拜托 我肯定有什么事情
Come on. There has to be something that I do
会惹毛到你
that just, like... gets under your skin.
没有 我想不出来
No, I can't think of anything.
拜托 拉塞尔 好好想想
Come on, Russell. Think.
快想 想 想啊想
Think, think, think, think.
想想
Thin-k.
这很烦人 对吧 我说"想"的方式
That's annoying, right, the way I say, "Think"?
那个"想"的调调
Well... With a "K."
好吧 杰茜
Okay, Jess, um...
当你想讲理的时候
Your eyes bug out a little
-你眼睛会有点突出来 -是吗
when you're trying to make a point. - Yeah?
以及当你想事情的时候
Yeah. And you do this, uh, squatting thing
-你的蹲坐姿势 -怎样
- when you're thinking sometimes. - Yeah?
我不太喜欢
Yeah. Don't love that.
像这样吗 这样吗
Like that? Like that?
对的 我还从没见过你同时做这两种动作
Yeah, and I've never actually seen both of those things together,
这可不是我的菜
so it's not a favorite of mine.
你是不是快抓狂了
Is this just driving you crazy?
没有 也没让我很高兴
No, but it's not pleasant.
你不高兴了
You're not pleasant.
你不高兴了
You're not pleasant.
-这可不太好 -是啊
- That's not nice, that's-that's... - Yeah.
-不太好 -不 这叫激♥情♥
- not nice. - No, it's passion!
你把我牙齿弄疼了
Oh! You hurt my teeth.
你准备怎么办 拉塞尔
Yeah, what you gonna do about it, Russell?
我想 可能啥都不做吧
Uh, well, I mean, probably nothing.
我讨厌这件衬衫 我讨厌这衬衫
You know, I hate this shirt, I hate this shirt.
行了行了 你能不能... 谢谢
Okay. Okay, you know, well could you please... thank you.
来了 欲♥火♥来了
There it is. There's the fire.
你把你的欲♥火♥藏哪儿了 拉塞
Where you been hiding it, Rusty?
藏哪儿去了
Where you been hiding it?
我去泡杯茶来
I'm gonna, um, make some tea.
你想喝茶吗 有洋甘菊茶
Do you want some tea? We have chamomile.
-才不要 -好吧 那就
- No! - Okay. I mean...
乌龙 乌龙茶吧 想喝乌龙茶吗
oolong... oolong, you want oolong?
我讨厌你有那么多杯垫 干嘛放那么多
Ugh, I hate that you have so many coasters! Why?
-这说来话长了 -是吗
Well, it's actually kind of a funny story... - Yeah?
你这辈子都在给人垫背吗
You just coasting through life,
-你个杯垫 -这不太好
- you coaster? - This isn't good, not at all.
你在干吗...
What are you...
我要发火了 你怎么回事
You know, now-now I'm pissed. What is this?
我们之间少了点什么
Something's missing.
我一直都没发现
I didn't know it
直到那晚我看见你和乌丽
until I saw you and Ouli together the other night
几乎想掐死对方
almost strangle each other.
然后我灵光乍现
But then it clicked.
我就想这样
I want that.
我想要你和乌丽拥有的那种感觉
I want what you and Ouli have.
我想让我像讨厌我前妻那样
You want me to treat you like my ex-wife?
讨厌你吗
Who I hate?
我不知道 我只是
I don't know, I just...
你们之间能擦出那种火花 我也想要
You guys have this spark, and I want that spark!
你必须承认
You have to admit,
你们之间有这种火花 这种激♥情♥
you have this spark, this passion.
你把激♥情♥看得太过重要了
Passion's overrated, Jess.
我就知道我们不该去吃那顿饭
I knew we shouldn't have gone to that dinner, I...
我想回家了
I want to go home.
杰茜
Jess...
只是
Just...
你能送我回家吗
can you just take me home?
进去
Get in there!
废物
Useless.
给 我 进去
You... get... in there.
这算哪出 马丁·斯科西斯版绿野仙踪
What is this, Martin Scorsese's The Wizard of Oz?
马丁·斯科西斯 美国的现实主义电影导演
对不起刚才在屋顶上动静太大了
I'm sorry about what happened on the roof, man.
原谅你了
Apology accepted.
只是 咱俩原来是对难兄难弟
It's just... we used to be miserable together, man.
-咱是一起过了难关 -再难不过了
- We did have some pretty bad times together. - We had the worst.
还记得咱俩儿掏光兜里的钱
Hey, remember that time we pooled our money
合伙儿买♥♥了一份儿在线相亲的档案不
and bought that online dating profile together?
那是 妞们根本不鸟什么尼斯顿·贝勒
Yes. The ladies did not care for Ninston Biller.
-剩斗士啊 -剩中之剩啊
- Zero dates. - Zero.
真对不起我没为你的事情开心
I'm sorry that I can't be happier for you.
温斯顿 我也不知道我是怎么回事儿
I don't really know what's wrong with me, Winston.
-我给你说说 -不用了 真的
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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