杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S01E10
Part 1
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:19 p.m.
$50 in the douche bag jar?
要罚我五十块
Absolutely, man. Yes, absolutely.
对 没错 没错 伙计
Why so much?
为啥罚我这么多
I feel like it should actually be more in the 100, 200 range,
我倒觉得该罚你个一两百的
so that's a discount.
这还是给你打了折了
Think about what you did, Schmidt.
想想你自己干的好事吧 施密特
I lost it.
没了
I lost the party bus.
我的派对巴士 没了
The party bus for your birthday party?
你生日用的派对巴士么
Yeah.
是啊
Apparently,
很明显
my business isn't as important
我这笔生意比不上
as Frankie Muniz's.
弗兰奇·莫尼兹的那么重要
They canceled my rez.
他们取消了我的预定
There's nothing I can do; the party's off.
我无能为力了 聚会取消
You should torch them on Yelp.
你该上大众点评网去给他们打个差评
Actually, I can do it.
事实上 我能这么做
I have an account under the name Fantastic Jacques.
我有个名叫神奇雅克的账户
He's a French diplomat
他是个法国外交官
with very little patience.
非常没耐性的哦
Or you could just get another bus.
或者 你另外弄一辆车不就行了
In two days?
两天之内搞定
Okay, yeah, sure, Winston.
好吧 温斯顿
W-Why don't I just go down to the party bus store,
我为啥不直接去派对巴士商场
where all the party buses have a state-of-the-art sound system,
那儿的车可都是艺术级配备
a stripper pole, a love grotto,
车上有跳脱衣舞的钢管 野合用的洞穴
and a steering wheel in the shape of a boob.
还有咪♥咪♥形状的方向盘
You honk the nipple.
凸点用来按喇叭
It's pretty awesome.
酷毙了哈
Just have the party at a bar.
就在酒吧里办派对嘛
Nick, this is it.
尼克 问题就在这里
This is my 29th birthday party.
这是我29岁生日派对
This is the year. After this,
这一年很重要 过了今年
I don't know, it's just... just all darkness.
我也不知道 我就...前途无亮了
Was he crying a little?
他是不是哭了
Hey, I just came to make sure you're okay.
我来看看 你还好吧
I'm not okay, Jess.
我不好 杰茜
I had to cancel my birthday party.
我只能取消我的生日派对了
It's social suicide.
这真是社交上自我毁灭
I can feel my it factor going away.
我感觉我的个人魅力慢慢消散了
And then what am I gonna tell Benjamin?
况且 我该怎么跟本杰明说
Why are you so worried about Benjamin?
你为啥这么担心本杰明
He's your friend.
他可是你的朋友啊
We have a very weird, girl-style friendship
我俩之间是种很诡异的女生式友谊
where we kind of hate each other.
我们都有些讨厌对方
We're bronemies.
我们是好兄弟又是敌人
He's my fremesis.
他是我的朋友 又是死对头
I'm so confused right now.
我觉得好困惑
Okay, look, Benjamin and I-- we were suitemates in college.
好吧 听着 我和本杰明大学时是室友
Benjamin, I can't wait to get to L.A.
本杰明 我真迫不及待要到洛杉矶了
We're going to have so much sex--
我们会有打不完的炮
in the morning,
早上
in the afternoon,
中午
at bedtime.
直到晚上
Mmm, peanuts.
花生呀
I'm telling you, man,
告诉你 伙计
I'm gonna run that town one day-- you'll see.
我会在那儿如鱼得水的 等着瞧吧
I'm gonna write you a check right now for $100 million.
我现在立马给你写张十亿的支票
How do you like that?
你觉得咋样
Damn, dude.
我靠 老兄
And this is a real check.
这可是张真的支票哦
You can cash it when I'm rich and awesome.
等我飞黄腾达了之后你可以兑了它
Give me about four years.
给我四年时间
Do the song.
唱歌♥吧
We built this Schmidty
我们打造了小施
We built this Schmidty on Tootsie Rolls.
我们把他打造成了牛皮糖小施
If it wasn't for Benjamin, I,
如果不是本杰明
I never would have become a Los Angeles baller.
我不可能在洛城混这么好的
Holla.
懂不
I changed everything about myself, Jess.
我改变了很多 杰茜
I lost all the weight, I changed my clothes,
我减肥成功 我改变了着装风格
I even dropped my voice half an octave,
我甚至低了半个八度的嗓音
but it wasn't enough.
但这还不够
I guess I'll just never be cool enough, Jess.
也许我就是永远不够酷吧 杰茜
Okay, I've got it.
好了 我明白了
We are going to throw Schmidt a birthday party. No.
我们来给施密特办个生日派对吧 不要
Yes, 'cause it's his 29th birthday and we care.
不行 因为这是他29岁生日派对 而且我们在乎他
Jess, Schmidt's world is different than ours.
杰茜 施密特跟我们是两个世界的人
They speak a different language.
他们说的完全是另一种语言
They shorten every word to one syllable.
他们把每个词缩短到一个音节
Okay, he once called an oven an "Ovs."
懂吗 他有次把烤箱叫"烤"
He calls an airport "Airp." He called ketchup "Ketch."
他管机场叫"机" 他把番茄酱叫"番酱"
Last month he went to a party called
上个月 他还去了个派对 名叫
Bros before Hos on the Moon.
"重友轻色 月亮之上"
What does that even mean?
这到底是啥意思
And the dress code was "Yacht flair."
而且他们的服装规定是"游艇风度"
What? Schmidt has a friend
什么 施密特还有个朋友
who legally changed his middle name to Doin' It.
把自己中间名改成了"干"
Yeah, Doin' It. Just one word: Doinit.
对 "干" 就这么一个字 "干"
You are not emotionally, mentally, and spiritually
你在情感上 心理上 精神上
prepared to throw these d-bags a party.
完全没有给这些混球开派对的准备
I'm gonna do some research.
我去研究研究嘛
Actually, I'm sorry, I do have to go.
好吧 抱歉 我得走了
I apologize. Where are you going?
抱歉了哈 你要去干嘛
And why are you wearing your jury duty pants?
你穿着陪审团裤干嘛
I'm not, man, I'm just-- mumble, mumble, mumble.
我没有 伙计 我只是...叽咕叽咕叽咕
Come on, lawyer party...
拜托 这可是律师聚会
the classic fifth date.
典型的第五次约会哎
What are you talking about?
你觉得咋样
I'm not gonna apologize for it.
我可不会抱歉
I got nothing to apologize for.
我没觉得有啥不好的
I owe you nothing. No, I'm having a really fun time.
我啥也不欠你的 不 我觉得挺开心的
I love wearing a Bill Cosby sweater
我喜欢穿着比尔·科斯比式毛衣
in front of a bunch of lawyers who are younger than me.
面对一群比我年轻的律师
Hello, I'm Bill Cosby, do you like pudding?
你好 我是比尔·科斯比 你喜欢布丁咩
My son's name is Theo and his best friend is Cockroach.
我儿子叫西奥 他的好哥们叫蟑螂
That supposed to be Bill Cosby?
这是在模仿比尔·科斯比吗
Yeah. That's as good as I can do.
是的 我能学的就这么点儿
Let's see yours. Would you like to hear
让我看看你学的咋样 你想听
how he really sounds? Yes.
他真正的声音吗 好
I want to get some more pudding.
我想再来点儿布丁
That's the worst Bill Co... How about this?
学的真烂... 听听这个
I got a daughter named Rudy Huxtable,
我有个女儿名叫鲁迪·赫克斯特布尔
and she's the cutest of all my daughters.
她是我最可爱的女儿
I'm really glad that you're here with me.
谢谢你在这儿陪我
Yeah, I'm happy you let me be here with you.
我也很高兴你让我陪你
No, I really am
不 我是说真的
because I got to, like, kiss all the asses
因为我得对这群
of these 24-year-old law students
二十四岁的法学学生拍马屁
to try to get 'em to work here.
好让他们来我们这儿工作
I went to law school.
我上过法学院
You went to law school? Yes.
你上过法学院 没错
I quit. Quit law school? Yes. why?
我退学了 从法学院退学 是的 为啥
Because I realized I hated lawyers.
因为我发现我讨厌律师
He says to the lawyer.
你这话可是对着一个律师说的
And for some reason I find you
不知为何 我突然觉得
ridiculously attractive for saying that.
你说这话时 真是迷死人了
Why don't you kiss my ass, then?
那你为啥不拍我的马屁
Look, Julia, I got turned around.
听着 茱莉亚 我得回去了
I thought we were doing a flirty back-and-forth...
我俩这样不停地调情...
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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