杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S01E16
Part 4
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:20 p.m.
Schmidt, just listen to me, because you
施密特 听我说
don't belong here, like, really.
你压根不属于这里 真的
Do you remember when you got yourself off to
你还记得你不喜欢看
An Inconvenient Truth?
《难以忽视的真♥相♥》的时候吗
How about when you dress up
你还记不记得万圣节时
like Shia Labeouf from Wall Street Two for Halloween?
你穿得像《华尔街2》里的希安·拉博夫[美国演员]
Do you remember when you said
你记不记得你说过
jazz music was America's greatest mistake?
爵士乐是美国最大的错误
Say it in drums, Jessica Day.
伴着鼓声说吧 杰茜卡·戴
Me hablo drums.
伴着鼓声
Hey, man.
伙计
I got the last frozen thing.
最后一个冰的东西被我拿了
I was gonna ice my wrist, but...
我本想敷下手腕的 但是
How about this?
这样吧
Take half, pal.
咱平半分 伙计
So kind of you.
你真好
That hurts, man.
疼死我了
I am so hungry.
我好饿
Remember those things that Schmidt used to make us
还记得以前施密特给我们用
with the peanut butter and the raisins on the celery?
花生酱拌芹菜加葡萄干吗
What were those called?
叫啥来着
Ants on a log.
蚂蚁上树
Ants on a log.
蚂蚁上树
I just got why they're called ants on a log.
我知道为啥要叫蚂蚁上树了
Looks like ants on a log.
因为看着像蚂蚁在书上
I'm hungry, man.
我饿了
Hey, Schmidt, is that you, buddy?
施密特 是你吗伙计
No, it's me.
不是 是我
What the hell happened to you?
你咋了
I went down to the beach,
我去了沙滩
and I tried to talk to Schmidt,
我试着和施密特谈谈
but he just ignored me,
可他不理我
and he went back to twirling his fire baton.
只顾着玩他的火棍
He's really bad. He burned a lot of people.
他技术太差了 烧到了好多人
I feel like they should let you twirl it around a few times
我觉得应该在点着火之前
before they actually light it on fire.
先把棍子转几圈
Well, look, Jess, being friends with Schmidt is really complicated.
杰茜 和施密特做朋友就是很纠结
'Cause you want to change him so badly,
因为你很想改变他
but you can't 'cause he'll just get worse.
可你不能 因为他只会越变越糟
You guys were right, I upset the ecosystem.
你们说的对 我打乱了这个生态平衡
This is not what I wanted.
我本意不是这样的
I just wanted to put my hutch here.
我只是想把贮藏柜摆在这里
Make the place my own, be a part of the family.
让这儿印上我的印记 融入这个家庭而已
What family? With these clowns?
什么家庭 跟这些二货吗
Yeah, you clowns.
是呀 你们这几个二货呗
Well, look, you want in, you're in.
没问题 我批准你加入了
Congratulations, welcome to the family, Jess.
恭喜 欢迎来到这个家 杰茜
Yeah, we don't "aww" in this family.
咱家不这么表达
Hey, guys.
伙计们
Hey, Schmidt.
施密特
Um, we need to talk.
我们得谈谈
Something not cool?
有啥不对劲吗
Schmidt, we miss you.
施密特 我们想你
You just want me to clean.
你们只是想让我打扫屋子
No, that's not true.
不是的 完全不是
Well, it's a little bit true. There's truth to that.
好吧 有一点点啦
Okay, look. I want you to clean.
好吧 我想让你打扫屋子
Look, we're so proud of you for letting go, and relaxing.
听着 我们为你能放松下来而骄傲
But this isn't like you.
但你并不是这种人
You can run away from your problems,
你逃避得了现在的问题
but you're just gonna find new ones that pop up like hepatitis.
但没准又会遇到新的麻烦 比如肝炎之类的
And Nick and Winston
尼克和温斯顿
want to say to you that they really miss you.
想对你说 他们真的很想你
You're freaking me out, man.
伙计 你快让我抓狂了
Why are you wearing that crystal around your neck?
你干嘛在脖子上戴个水晶项链
Nick, the crystal symbolizes energy.
尼克 水晶代表能量
All a crystal is is rock poo, Schmidt.
它也就是块石头而已 施密特
Look, I need you, Schmidt.
我需要你 施密特
Okay, I need you to tell me what pants not to wear
懂吗 我需要你来告诉我哪条裤子不能穿
and to exercise more often.
还有提醒我多做运动
I need you to make fun of me
我需要你在我把铁板三明治
when I call a Panini a hot sandwich;
叫成热三明治时笑话我
how am I ever gonna learn?
不然我怎么会懂这些呢
I even miss your hair chutney.
我还想你润发乳的味道
Without you, man, we're just three idiots who live together.
伙计 如果没有你 我们只是三个住一起的傻瓜
You make us a family.
是你让我们成为一家人
Well, I'm the cool rebel brother.
我就像是个反叛的大哥
You're the mom. The mother. Mom.
你就像个老妈 老妈 妈
Look, Schmidt, if you come back to us,
施密特 如果你回到我们身边
I'll let you clean my room.
我让你打扫我的房♥间
The white whale?
处理那只大白鲸也行吗
Think about how many dust bunnies are under my bed.
想想我床下有多少积尘
How many stray socks.
多少臭烘烘的袜子
Hey, Schmidt,
施密特
I got you something.
我有东西送你
Is that a boutique box?
是个礼品盒吗
A pair of gray, shiny, twill, flat-front trousers
是一条闪瞎你眼的灰色斜纹 平直款的裤子
designed by a man named Calvin.
由一个叫卡尔文的人设计的哟
Never been tried on.
崭新无痕
Pockets are sewn shut.
口袋还缝着呢
Don't you just want to get your thumbs in there and rip?
难道你不想把拇指塞进去撕开它吗
Okay, so, I'm just gonna leave this on your bongo drum,
好吧 我就把它搁在你的手鼓上
and you can, you know,
如果你喜欢
give them a whirl if you feel like it.
可以试一试哦
Just make the right decision.
要做好选择哟
Come home.
回家来吧
Take the pants.
穿上那裤子
Oh, come here.
好吧
Calvin.
卡尔文
You magnificent wizard.
你真是个无与伦比的巫师
Scmidtty.
小施
Nick, your hair is doing that thing that I just... I just hate.
尼克 你的发型怎么又这么挫
And Jess, can you please ask Winston to help you
杰茜 你让温斯顿帮你
move the furniture out? He could use the exercise.
挪挪家具吧 他得锻炼一下了
You're looking a little, you know...
你看起来有点儿...
He's back. And Nick, Winston, we have a urinal.
他回来了 尼克 温斯顿 我们有夜壶的
How are you still missing?
你们怎么还会忘
Schmidt
施密特
Schmidt, wake up.
施密特 醒醒
What...
你
are you doing here?
你在这儿干吗
What do you think I'm doing here? Come on!
你觉得我能干嘛 来吧
Okay, wait, wait, wait. What?
好了 等等 等等 怎么了
Cece,
希希
before we continue,
在我们继续之前
I clearly have no control in this relationship,
我在这段关系中毫无控制权
and... I'm fine with it.
我也不介意
Good. But know this,
好 但你要知道
you're the one who broke into this apartment at 3:00 a.M.
你半夜三点破门而入
for a little bit of this Schmidt,
来找小施密特尝点甜头
so who's really in control?
所以 谁是真正掌控全局的呢
Shut up!
闭嘴
Wait, oh, are you sleeping in dress pants?
等等 你睡觉还穿着正装裤子
What? They're slacks.
咋了 这裤子很宽松的
What's the big deal? Calm down.
没啥大不了的 淡定
Look how excited Hector J. is to see you.
看我老二见了你得有多兴奋
Yeah, I've already met Hector J., so...
我看到了
Ooh, look, he's knighting you.
看 他在给你加官进爵
Oh, no, please stop knighting me. Don't...
不 停下来 不要
Lady Cecelia...
希希莉亚小姐
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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