杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S01E17
Part 2
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:20 p.m.
Why did you make me look stupid in front of Shelby last night?
你昨晚干嘛害我在谢尔比面前丢脸
Wait, what?
等等 啥
Which of the five great lakes is located
五大湖之中哪一个是
entirely in the United States?
完全坐落于美国国境内的
Lake Erie?
伊利湖
Yeah, if Lake Michigan didn't exist
是啊 如果密歇根湖不存在
and we won a fictional U.S.- Canada war.
咱再顺便打场仗把加拿大给吞了的话
Lake Michigan. Correct!
密西根湖 正确
Oh, you want me to take a dive next time?
你希望我下次潜水是吗
Take a dive? You know, like pretend like
啥是潜水 就是在谢尔比面前
you know more than me when Shelby's around,
不说话 装作你比我懂得多的样子
so it seems like you're smarter.
这样能显得你更聪明
I know you'd do the same thing for me if I were the dumber one.
我知道如果我比你笨的话 你也会为了我装傻的
Wow, okay, so let me get this straight:
好吧 我来把话说明白
you think because you know a few facts about Princess Kate,
你不过是知道点凯特公主的事
that makes you smarter than me? First of all,
就自诩比我聪明了吗 首先
Kate is a duchess and whip-smart by all accounts.
凯特是公爵夫人 公认的冰雪聪明
And second of all, don't be so prideful.
其次 别这么高傲嘛
Look, man, there's nothing wrong
好了 哥们 成为这屋子里
with being the second smartest in the loft.
第二聪明的人没什么不好
You know what, let me take that back.
等等 我收回这句话
Jess is a teacher of children.
杰茜可是个儿童教师呢
You memorize facts.
你只是记住了一些事实而已
I can memorize facts.
我也能做到
That doesn't make you smart.
这并不代表你有多聪明
Okay, well, maybe,
也许吧
but I'm definitely smarter than you.
但我肯定比你聪明
Whew! Glutes are done, my man.
臀部运动结束 兄弟
I'm gonna go to the stairwell,
我要去楼梯井
work on my calves. Come with?
锻炼我的小腿 一起来不
Hell, no.
我靠 不去
You sure?
你确定
I have to grovel.
我得卑躬屈膝
I hate groveling.
我讨厌卑躬屈膝
I would have lasted two seconds
我在法庭上行屈膝礼时
in the court of the Sun King.
应该多持续两秒钟的
I think about that all the time. You do?
我一直纠结这件事情 真的吗
Do you know how much I grovel on a daily basis?
你知道我每天有多卑躬屈膝么
It is literally obscene.
简直太猥琐了
Come the weekend,
而到周末的时候
I'm the one who's filling up my cart
我的车上装满了
with Fila, Nautica, Impulse Fila, Hilfiger, CK,
斐乐 诺蒂 脉冲斐乐 希尔费格 CK[著名品牌]
BR Leather cuff, and more Fila.
BR皮革袖口 以及更多斐乐产品
This is the problem, Jess.
这就是问题所在 杰茜
It's rich people.
这些富人
We are right where they want us, Jess,
我们对他们俯首帖耳
just suckling on the teat of consumerism.
以求分到消费主义的一点蝇头小利
Yeah. That's the exact reason I got rid of my phone.
没错 所以我才不用手♥机♥
You were denied a cell phone
你用不成手♥机♥
because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.
因为你的信用值跟个流浪汉没啥两样
How I got here doesn't matter.
我为啥沦落至此并不重要
You weigh more than your credit score.
你的体重都比你信用值高
I'm here now,
我现在变这样了
and I'm loving it. Yeah.
我很享受现在 没错
I'm the guy with no phone.
我是个不用手♥机♥的人
I mean, right now, i'm writing a letter to my friend, Kev,
现在 我要给我朋友凯文写封信
seeing if he wants to party with me this Friday.
问问他这周五想不想来聚会
"What up, Kev?
"咋样 凯文
"You in? Nick Miller." Yeah, Nick,
参加不 尼克·米勒" 尼克
he might pull the funding from the school,
他可能会从学校撤资
so I'm just a little bit...
我只是有点
Blame your period.
怪你的大姨妈头上吧
I've actually done this before.
这招我之前用过
I mean, both parties knew that I was lying, obviously,
很明显双方都知道我在撒谎
but it didn't matter because they knew
但不要紧 因为他们知道
that I had utterly humiliated myself,
我在羞辱自己
and at the end of the day, they respected that.
到最后 他们会很尊重我的
I'm sorry; I just feel like
抱歉 我只是觉得
someone should suggest a simple apology.
应该有人建议 简单地道个歉就行了
I know that's not where we're headed here,
我们讨论的不是这个
but I'm just gonna go on record and say,
我要发表个观点
I think you should apologize
我觉得你应该像普通人一样
like a human. No!
道歉 不要
No! I'm going with Nick
不要 我同意尼克
'cause I don't think I have to apologize.
因为我不觉得我该道歉
Yeah, Jess, so march into his office,
杰茜 昂首挺胸走进他的办公室
and say, "Hey, Mr. Fancyman, you can't tell me what to do.
直接说 "高富帅 我怎么做你管不着
"Your money doesn't own me."
你的钱收买♥♥不了我"
And then throw away your phone.
然后扔了你的手♥机♥
Yeah, I'm gonna throw my phone into the fiery chasm
我要把手♥机♥扔向他
where he keeps his poor people.
收养穷♥人♥的炽热深渊
Actually, scratch that.
算了吧还是
My mom's got your number in case of emergency.
我妈记了你的电♥话♥以防万一
I want her to think that I can bring something to the table.
我想让她知道我很上得了台面
I care about this girl, Elvin.
我很在意这姑娘 埃尔温
I want her to be my girlfriend.
我想让她当我女朋友
She sees me, all she sees is a part-time nanny, and that's...
但她只把我当个兼♥职♥保姆看待
You are a part-time nanny.
你就是一兼♥职♥保姆
I want her to think I'm smart.
我想让她觉得我很聪明
What about fake glasses?
戴个假眼镜咋样
It worked for me.
这招对我挺管用
Okay, okay, I'm on my way to his office,
我正在去他办公室的路上
and I have a speech I wrote for Fancyman,
我还为那高富帅写了篇演讲稿
and I want to practice it.
我想先练习下
Why are you listening to Nick?
你干嘛听尼克的
It is a horrible idea.
真是个馊主意
Ghost Protocol, man.
这是从《碟中谍》学的 伙计
You're using my phone.
你正用我的手♥机♥呢
It's not Ghost Protocol.
什么鬼《碟中谍》的
It's you using my phone.
就是你在用我的手♥机♥
This is a group call, I'm just talking in my living room,
咱现在是群呼 我只是在客厅说话
and it happens to go into that box.
声音恰好传到了那个盒子里而已
Okay, I'm gonna start with a quote against social Darwinism,
我要用一个有悖于社会达尔文主义
then a discussion of the Gilded Age,
的引证开头 然后讨论黄金时代
the robber barons, the Great Society,
强盗式资本家 伟大社会
how we ended up with a huge wealth disparity in this country,
然后以社会巨大贫富差距结尾
and then, I end with a bluegrass version
最后用一首来自人♥民♥公敌[嘻哈乐队]
of Public Enemy's "Fight the Power."
的蓝草版本的《为权力而战》收尾[乡村音乐的一种]
Bad finish.
烂结尾
What is that?
这是啥声音
Are you driving a lawn mower?
你在开割草机吗
No, I just...
没
It's my car.
是我的车
Look, this is a great opportunity.
这是个好机会
You need to ask yourself,
你要扪心自问
where are you even going?
你要去哪里
Buy a new car. You don't need a car.
买♥♥辆新车 你不需要车
Oh, my car's stalled out.
我的车罢♥工♥了
Can you guys come and help me push it?
你们能过来帮我推车吗
Yeah, we'll be down in a few minutes.
我们几分钟就下来
Hey, can I help you?
需要帮忙吗
What? Oh, hi.
啥 你好
uh, Mr. Schiller, um,
席勒先生
how'd you know I was here? I was driving by and I saw you.
你怎么知道我在这 我路过看到你
My office is right here.
我的办公室就在这儿
Oh, oh, what a coincidence.
真巧啊
I had no idea.
我不知道
Weird.
真诡异
What's wrong with the car?
这车怎么了
Guy sounds like a matinee idol.
听着像个师奶杀手
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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