杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S01E20
Part 4
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:21 p.m.
is we like to fight with our bodies.
就是用身体干架
It's like very intense game of Capture the Flag.
就像玩激烈的找旗子游戏
I won't make you guess what the flag is.
我的"旗子"在哪 你懂的
As my financial business partner,
作为我的合伙人
I appreciate you taking the time.
很感谢您的出席
All right, Russell said we need a prototype.
好了 拉塞尔说我们需要做个样本
So, Mr. Schmidt, I now present you "Real Apps."
所以 施密特先生 这就是"实体应用"
The phone obviously goes back here where the phone goes,
安装完成之后 手♥机♥变成这样
and then these are all the apps.
这些都是应用
You've got a Zippo. You've got a fork.
有打火机 有叉子
You've got a spoon.
有勺子
That's a corn holder.
这是装硬币的地方
It's also a gentleman's shiv.
甚至还有剃须刀
Nick, it's a prototype of a prototype at best.
尼克 这只是个原始雏形而已
Let me see it.
拿给我看看
No. Don't be mean about it.
不 别鸡蛋里挑骨头
Let me see it. Come on. Let me see it.
给我看看 好了 给我
You got a bottle opener, yeah. Come on. Look at this.
还有开瓶器 给我 看看这个
There's no brushed steel, no nickel.
没有抛光器 不能镀镍
I mean, it's got none of the baller metals.
都没有可以加工金属的东西
I mean, come on, man.
拜托 兄弟
I'm not gonna get Winkelvossed because of your sloppiness.
我可不想因为你的疏忽阴沟里翻船
What do you mean, "I"? Real Apps is my idea.
你什么意思 实体应用可是我的创意
You just came up with the name!
你不过是起了个名字
Yeah, and the name is the game, friendo.
名字才是重头戏 伙计
Mmmm. Yes, it is, man.
才不是 真的 兄弟
No, it isn't. No, it isn't, man.
不是 才不是这样
Would you line up around the corner
如果爱疯被叫做"小菌砖"
if they called the iPhone a "Slippery germ brick"?
还会有人排队疯抢吗
Yeah, actually, I might.
我可能会的
That's why they call it basketball
这也是为什么篮球不叫作
and not "Peach basket catch-it-up."
"争抢的小粉球"
You just came up with that?
这是你刚想出来的吗
Hey, hey, we're back here on the Joe Napoli Show,
欢迎回到乔·拿波里专场秀
and let me introduce you
向大家介绍一位
to a new member of the Joe Napoli Show family,
乔·拿波里秀家族的新成员
and that is Winston Bishop, who is our new assistant.
有请我们的新助手 温斯顿·贝肖普
I'll tell you what-- he's sharp as a tack.
友情提示 他可是超机灵的
Ladies, there's no ring on his finger,
女士们注意了 这还是位黄金单身汉哟
and, Winston, why don't you tell us just a little bit about yourself?
温斯顿 和大家介绍一下你自己吧
Hey, thanks, a lot, Joe.
谢了 乔
I really want to tell you about myself.
我还真想吐几句槽
You know, I been on the job two days,
我已经干了两天了
and I don't know how to make no milk shake.
都还没学会怎么做奶昔
Oh, and I played two years of mediocre Division I basketball. Wow.
对了 我还在个半吊子甲组篮球队打过球
And why was that?
为毛啊
Well, because I really didn't know how to play basketball.
因为我篮球打得可菜了
I got recruited for a girls' volleyball team.
后来进了女子排球队
All right, there he is. That's Winston Bishop.
好了 这就是温斯顿·贝肖普
And we'll see you again probably never.
希望这是我们最后一次见面
All right, turning now to the NBA picture,
好了 现在是"纵览NBA"时间
it looks like the West...
西部战局看上去
These are hangover eggs.
这是宿醉鸡蛋
See, they'll either stop you
它要么会
from throwing up the rest of the day
给你止吐
or you'll just throw it up really fast.
要么让你一口气吐完
It's high-risk, high-reward.
高风险 高回报
Oh, maybe I should just go back to bed.
也许我该再去睡个回笼觉
I have a really nice day planned for us.
我为咱俩计划了美好的一天
We're gonna go apple picking...
我们先去摘苹果
I don't... I don't pick apples.
我不喜欢摘苹果
That... that's... that's not gonna happen.
我可不会去
Are you serious?
你真不去
Because it's picking and it's apple...
摘苹果什么的
You're serious?
你真不去
That literally sounds like hell.
听上去就很糟
Okay.
好吧
Are we in a fight?
我们这算是吵架吗
We're not fighting.
我们不是吵架
This feels like a fight, Jess.
但感觉上是 杰茜
This is not a fight!
这不是吵架
Russell, my man, it seems these days
拉塞尔 伙计 貌似这几天
there's an app for everything.
产生了一个无所不能的应用
Doesn't it, though?
不是吗
Yeah, but there isn't.
但事实并非如此
Let's say I'm out and about, you know,
假设我现在
being mobile, and I want to cut a bagel,
是个手♥机♥ 我想切切面包
cobble a shoe.
修修鞋子
Haberdash on the fly.
缝缝衣服
Is there an app for that?
有什么应用能做到这些吗
No. Is there?
没有 有吗
Until now. Right.
现在有了 没错
We now present to you...
我们现在向大家展示
Real Apps! Real Apps!
实体应用
The prototype.
模型
Relapse?
屎体应用
Real Apps.
是 实体应用
Real Apps.
实体应用
Relapse?
屎体应用
Relapse?!
屎体应用
Would you calm...?
你淡定
You called my baby "Relapse"?! No, I didn't call it anything.
你给我这宝贝起这么个破名 没 我才没这么叫
Just calm down! I gave you 51% of this for Relapse?
冷静点 我给了你51%的功劳就换来这么个破名儿
Russell. Russell. Enough.
拉塞尔 拉塞尔 你够了
Russell. Hold it in your hands, my man.
拉塞尔 用手感受一下
We're in the middle of something, guys. No, no, no.
我们俩现在正有事呢 没 没 没
We're great. We're fine. Show it to him, Schmidt. It's all right here.
我们没事 给他看吧 施密特 就是这个
Let me show it to you. Yeah, but you have to...
让我给你展示下 对 但是得...
I want to... Russell. You're going the wrong way.
我想... 拉塞尔 你弄错方法了
Oh, my God, Russell, are you okay? No, no, no.
天哪 拉塞尔 你还好吧 不不
I've been stabbed!
我被刺伤了
It wasn't ready.
它还没准备好呢
It wasn't ready. You called it Relapse, idiot!
还没准备好 你管它叫屎体应用 蠢货
Where are the Band-Aids?
创可贴在哪
No BandAids! What?!
没有创可贴 什么
I'll get you a takeout napkin with some Scotch tape.
我用胶带把餐巾纸给你绑上吧
Searing pain!
疼死我了
So sorry.
真对不起
Here. Oh, sorry. Ow! Ow! Jess.
来吧 抱歉 疼 疼 杰茜
Jess, do you know what? You just taped a napkin to my hand.
杰茜 你居然把餐巾纸往我手上贴
You know what? I'm gonna go.
我得走了
I need to be home right now.
我要回家
Is that a problem?
有意见么
No.
没有
I'm fine.
我没意见
It's great.
挺好的
We're great.
我们没事
I'm s... Just nicked him.
我... 把他割伤了
Get it all out.
发泄出来吧
I have an idea for your Idea book!
我对你的创意笔记有个想法
Replace the Band-Aids!
放点创可贴
Very fair.
好的
It's so sticky!
这东西好粘
Oh, I have an app for that.
我有个应用可以解决
What are you doing here?
你在这儿干嘛
Why aren't you at your new job?
怎么没去上班
I'm quitting.
我辞职了
You're quitting your dream job?
你辞掉了你梦想中的工作
Well, I mean, there's good news.
我是说 还是有好的方面的嘛
I want to keep being your nanny.
我想继续给你当保姆
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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