杰茜驾到（2011）

New Girl S01E13

Part 2 Nov. 20, 2020, 12:20 p.m.

I thought we said no guys.
我以为咱说好了不叫男人的
I am not touching his feet.
我才不要碰他的脚
I'm not kidding you. That's amazing.
我没开玩笑太棒了
Where's what's his name?
你家那谁他人呢
We are actually gonna meet up later, because...
我们待会儿再见因为
he's got a little surprise for me.
他给我准备了个惊喜
Spoiler alert. It's his penis.
给你剧透下这惊喜就是他老二
Okay, stop. Enough.
好了闭嘴够了
Pay attention.
注意点儿
You're from Oregon? Yeah.
你是俄勒冈州人没错
I'm from Oregon. Oh, no. What?
我也是哎搞什么啊这是
I mean, how often do you meet Oregonians?
我是说你碰到老乡的几率有多大
I don't know.
不清楚
Oh, could you hold on one second?
等我下好吗
Yeah. Sure. -Okay.
好的好
Oh, my God, he's from Oregon; I'm from Oregon.
天哪他是俄勒冈州人我也是俄勒冈州人
Bad idea. -No, you can't do this.
真是个馊主意不你不能这么做
Horrible. -I'm sorry.
太糟了抱歉
You bonded emotionally.
你太容易跟别人产生感情了
If you end up having sex with him,
如果你后来跟他滚床单
it's gonna be missionary with a lot of eye contact.
你俩肯定会有过多眼神交流
Look, that is not one-night-stand material.
听着这小子压根不是一♥夜♥情♥的料
You got to listen to him.
你得听他的
He's right on this one. Sorry.
他说的没错抱歉了
I know what I'm talking about.
我知道我在说啥
I have my 10,000 hours.
我有我自己成功的一万个小时
Outliers. You should read it.
《出类拔萃》这篇文章你该读读的
Malcolm Gladwell.
马尔科姆·格拉德威尔写的[著名作家撰稿人]
It's one of my desert island books.
这可是我压箱底的书
Along with Machiavelli's The Prince,
还有马基雅维利的《君主论》
Freak by John Leguizamo,
约翰·雷吉扎莫拍的《为你疯狂》
any of the scripts from the first season of Vampire Diaries,
还有《吸血鬼日记》第一季的所有剧本
a little Phantom T. I love Phantom Tollbooth.
还有《收费亭里的幽灵》我爱死这本书了
Of course you do-- you're a human being.
你当然会喜欢了是人都会喜欢
So no connection?
这么说一点儿交流都不能有
Zero. Sorry, babe. No.
不行抱歉亲爱的不行
Good girl.
乖啦
Hey.
你好呀
Could I have your cherry?
我能吃颗樱桃吗
Sure. Cool.
行谢啦
Sorry.
抱歉
You okay, lady?
小姐你还好吧
Schwing!
哇哦
Hey, guys. Um...
伙计们
this is Oliver.
这是奥利弗
Um, Oliver is a...
奥利弗是个...
Web creator. -Web creator.
网页工程师 -网页工程师
Uh, also, we both
还有我俩都
love... lunch. Lunch.
喜欢... 午餐午餐
Love lunch.
爱死吃午餐了
You're kidding. Wow, what a coincidence.
你开玩笑呢吧真巧啊
When people talk about
当别人说
breakfast being the most important meal of the day,
一天中早餐最重要时
I'm, like... -What...
我会觉得... -什
what?! Is that?!
什么说什么哪
What about lunch, man?
那午餐呢伙计
You want another drink?
要再点杯酒吗
If I didn't know ya better,
如果不是已经了解你
I'd think you're tryin' to liquor me up!
我会以为你想把我灌醉的
Why are you talking like that?
你干嘛要怪声怪气的
Oh, Oliver...
奥利弗
we have nothing in common.
我们完全没共同语言
Yes! I have no emotional connection to him at all.
太好了我跟他压根没啥情感交流
But I'm just gonna eat lunch off that butt.
但我会把他吃干抹净
So, what about you?
那你呢
What about that redhead over there?
那个红发女郎咋样
I thought you totally had that.
我觉得你拿下她肯定没问题
Oh, that's in process.
慢慢来嘛
This is where I do this kind of, like, look thing,
到这阶段我一般装作左看右看
where, like, my confusion makes her confused...
装作疑惑的样子然后她也会跟着疑惑了
and, then, also kind of hot.
这样很性感哦
Let me help you.
我来帮帮你
I'm gonna make her jealous.
让她吃醋
All right, can you... can you stop?
行了你能你别这样行吗
Cece, you are way too beautiful.
希希你太漂亮了
She'll think she doesn't have a shot with me.
她会觉得自己没机会的
Can you stop looking at me like that, please?
你别这样看着我了行不
What look? I'm not even looking at you.
看什么我根本就没看你
The pouty one, the naughty baby Indian.
你还撅着嘴装个淘气巧克力美人的样子
I just ate something spicy, and now my lip is swollen. Mm-hmm.
我只是吃了点儿辣嘴唇肿啦
Baby! Hi!
宝贝儿你好呀
Hey!
好呀
All right, just get in there, man.
好吧你就这么插♥进♥来伙计
Clean it all out.
气氛都破坏完了
Like a dentist.
跟个牙医似的
Look, look.
看
Surprise!
惊喜哟
'Shrooms.
有好料[大♥麻♥]
Oh, Kyle, you really shouldn't have. I ate three.
凯尔你真不该吃的我吃了三个
I ate three. Three.
我吃了三个三个哟
On a pizza!
跟披萨一块儿吃的
Look at you, man.
看看你伙计
You're a champion.
你真行
Okay, um, we're gonna go, 'cause he's about to get real handsy
好了我们走了哈他马上会变得毛手毛脚
and a little racist.
还会有点儿种族主义
So, you'll watch Jess?
你看着点儿杰茜
Yeah, yeah, I will.
好的我会的
Okay. Let's go, Kyle.
好了咱们走吧凯尔
Schmidtty, Schmidtty, Schmidtty.
小施小施小施
Hey, um, so, I'm gonna go home with Oliver.
我要去奥利弗他家
Great! I'm so happy...
太好了真是太好了
Hey, three words:
给你一条建议
double bag it.
记得双重保险哈
I got that covered. Um...
我懂的
These guys...
我有这些
hundy bag, so... A hundred condoms?
套套超值家庭装一百个套套
What, are you gonna have sex with an army?
什么你打算一骑当千吗
Oh, I'm gonna get up in it, Mom?
老妈我明天就在这堆东西里醒来了
That's the biggest box of condoms I've ever seen, honestly.
说实话我还没见过这么大盒的套套呢
Does it have, like, a roller?
里面是卷好的吗
Like, you know, you go through the airport with it?
就跟就跟在机场夹带一样
I'm gonna rip him a new one.
我打算为他开盒新的
Very intimidating.
太吓人了
A normal man
正常人
can go maybe three times in a night,
根据其三文鱼的摄入量
depending on how much salmon he's had.
也就勉强来个三次
He's literally the most boring person I've ever met.
他简直是我见过最无聊的人了
He's described every lunch he's had this week,
这货把这礼拜的午餐给我报了一遍
and three of them were tacos.
其中有三顿是玉米饼
My work here is done. Not really.
我的任务已经完成了还没呢
Little favor. He doesn't have a car, I don't have a car,
帮个小忙他没有车我也没有
'cause I came with you, so I...
因为我是搭你的车来的所以
No, no, no, no. No. No.
不不不不行
One of the tacos had extra cheese,
有一块炸玉米饼多加了奶酪
and the other one had avocados.
还有一块加了牛油果
And cheese.
还有奶酪
And cheese, actually.
确实还有奶酪
Well, I guess
好吧我想
it's time to take that Chinese head
明先生你应该好好理一理
out of that Chinese ass, Ming.
你脑袋里的中国浆糊了