杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S01E14
Part 1
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:20 p.m.
L'Chaim.
打炮
To humping.
万岁
I was like a river.
我就像一条大河
Did you feel that?
你感觉到了吗
Did you feel me sweeping you along with the current of my body?
你有没有觉得随着我的身体摇曳
You were like a canoe on my body river.
你就像我身体之河上的一支独木舟
Like you'd ever be seaworthy with those breasts.
你的胸经得起大风大浪
Boobies.
你的咪♥咪♥
I wish there was a word that meant
真希望有个词能形容
complete satisfaction and complete self-loathing.
我现在极度的自满和自厌
I've never seen a woman bite her own shoulder before.
我以前从没见过一个女的能咬到自己肩膀
That was the last time.
这真是最后一次和你滚床单了
You said that twice last night.
这话你昨晚就说了两遍
You'll be back.
你会回来的
I'm like your black tar heroin.
我就是你戒不掉的小毒品
You just need that sweet taste in your veins.
你就是忍♥不住要尝到我的甜头
Schmidttle and the damage done.
一支施密特 再也戒不掉
Neil Young, yo.
尼尔·杨的风格哟[美国著名歌♥手]
Just get me out of here without someone seeing.
赶紧让我在被发现之前离开这吧
Schmidt?
施密特
Did you have a sexual guest?
你是不是有炮♥友♥借宿了
What?
啥
Was it the same girl from the other night?
还是那天晚上的那个女生吗
I don't know what you're talking about.
人家真不知道你在说什么啦
It is, oh, my God.
果然是哎 天啊
You slept with the same girl twice in a row?
你连着睡了同一个妞两次
Was it a mistake?
是搞错了吗
Was she wearing some kind of disguise?
她是不是戴了个伪装你没认出来
Hey, Nick, Schmidt slept with the same girl twice in a row.
尼克 施密特连着两次睡了同一个妞
I owe you five dollars.
我输你五块钱
You know, I thought I heard the door open at 3:00 a.m.
我记得我凌晨三点听到门的声音
Those are the sounds of true love.
那是真爱的开门声啊
Bet she had the time of her life. What happened?
我敢说她肯定爽翻天了 什么情况
Did I miss her?
我错过了吗
You did. Man, I love meeting the girls you bring home.
没错 我很想见你带回家的妹子
I like to pretend like I'm your lover
我喜欢装成咱俩是好基友
on the down-low, Theodore. K. Mullins.
男女通吃 西奥尔多·K·穆林斯的类型
Damn, Schmidt, in our bed?
该死 施密特 就在我们的床上
Where we shave each other?
就在这咱俩互刮体毛的地方
I've always loved you, you're my boo.
我是爱你的 你是我的小甜心
Theodore K. Mullins is not my type, man.
西奥尔多·K·穆林斯不是我的菜 老兄
So, you gonna three-peat this ho?
这么说 你想对这妞来个三连贯么
Who is this bitch? We want to meet her.
这娘们是谁啊 我想见见她
I'm not gonna parade her around like some trophy.
我才不会把她当成战利品显摆
You know me, I'm not that kind of guy.
你们了解我的 我不是那种人
Schmidt told me this was the front door?
施密特告诉我说这是前门
What's wrong with her? Does she have a hunchback?
她有什么毛病吗 她是个驼背吗
Dwarf parts?
五短身材
Lovitz body?
乔恩·拉威茨型[好莱坞肥仔喜剧男星]
She happens to be an incredibly beautiful woman.
她碰巧是个大美女
She another one of your heavy gingers, Schmidt?
她是不是你减肥前的翻版 施密特
How big are her knuckles? Butter body?
她指关节有多粗 是不是个大肚婆
She has a Hitler moustache.
她是不是有希♥特♥勒♥式的小八字胡
I'm sorry, just, like,
抱歉 我只是
I want to banter with you guys in the morning.
我只是想早上和你们斗斗嘴骂骂嗑啦
I just, like, panicked, and I made a Hitler joke.
我紧张了一下 就编了个希♥特♥勒♥笑话
I'm sorry.
抱歉
Your science projects are looking great, you guys.
你们的科技作业很不错嘛 孩子们
Love the potato battery, Harper.
土豆电池很棒 哈玻
Good job. Thanks.
干的不错 谢谢
Luke, I like your tree exhibit.
卢克 我喜欢你的树木展览
Might want to think about changing the name.
或许你该考虑换个标题
Okay? Okay.
好吗 好的
You built a robotic arm.
你造了个机器手臂
I think we know who's gonna win.
这次作业谁第一就不用我挑明了吧
Anyone can still win, Brianna.
谁都有机会得第一的 布丽安娜
Even me, Miss Day?
我也有机会吗 戴老师
Yes.
有
Okay, lunch time.
好了 午餐时间
Can I have lunch in here?
我能在这吃午餐吗
Oh, no, Nathaniel, what's wrong?
不行 纳撒尼尔 怎么了
In the cafeteria,
在餐厅里
kids have started playing this game, coin slot.
小朋友们玩一种叫投屁孔的游戏
They put pennies in my butt crack.
他们把硬币往我屁♥股♥缝里塞
I made 46 cents.
都塞了四十六分钱了
No, no, no, you earned that.
别 别 别 这是你赚的
Nathaniel, I'm gonna help you out.
纳撒尼尔 我会帮你的
Julia sent me a cactus.
茱莉亚送了我一仙人掌
She's on a business trip to China,
她去中国出公差
and she sent it to me out of the blue.
然后莫名其妙送我一仙人掌
I'm not an idiot.
我才不傻呢
She's gonna break up with me.
她是要跟我分手了
Who told you that?
谁这么告诉你的
Did the cactus tell you that?
是这仙人掌告诉你的吗
Is this one of those fortune-telling cactuses...
这是不是那种占卜仙人掌
Winston, think.
温斯顿 动动脑子
She's gonna break up with me.
她是要和我分手了
She doesn't think I can take care of a regular plant.
她觉得一般的植物我照顾不来
Well, you can't.
你就是不会养植物啊
Any idiot can take care of a cactus, Winston.
随便一个二货都能养活仙人掌 温斯顿
She thinks I'm an idiot.
她认为我是个二货
Why are you watering a cactus?
你干嘛给仙人掌浇水
Because I'm an idiot.
因为我是二货呗
Julia sent him a cactus,
茱莉亚送他一盆仙人掌
which means she's gonna break up with him.
意味着她要和他分手
I'm sorry, I thought that was a joke
抱歉 我以为你们这是开玩笑呢
because otherwise that would be totally stupid and insane.
因为如果不是的话 那这想法就太蠢太搞了
Snap out of it, son.
振作起来 小子
Jess, you don't get it.
杰茜 你不了解
This cactus is like a symbol
这个仙人掌就好像是
of my relationship with her.
我和她之间恋爱关系的象征
Oh, my God.
天啊
I'm not gonna quit on this.
我才不会就这么放弃
I'm gonna get her back.
我会把她追回来的
There it is.
搞定了
Look at that.
瞧瞧
Not bad, just fix red eye, red eye,
不赖嘛 再去几个红眼 红眼
red eye.
红眼
Send.
发送
Hello?
喂
Where are you?
你在哪
Oh, hey, Cecilia,
希希莉亚
Did you get my junk mail?
收到我的大鸟照了吗
I'm in front of your loft.
我就在你公♥寓♥楼下
I know I said that last time was the last time,
我知道我说过上次是最后一次了
but... you want to come down?
但是 你想下来吗
Yeah, I want to co...
想 我想
Yeah, I'll come down, that sounds good.
好吧 我就下来一趟吧 听着不错
All right.
好吧
So, I think I changed a life today, you guys.
我觉得我今天改变了某个孩子的一生
I pulled a Gandhi, a real Gandhi.
我就像甘地 真的哟
There's a student of mine,
我的一个学生
he's been bullied for the past few months,
他过去几个月经常被人欺负
so after warning the kids that there would be
所以在警告完所有
serious repercussions if this continued,
欺负他的学生后
I delivered a lesson in the key of learning.
我给他们好好上了一课
Learning minor.
用学习小调哦
He's a plump bird who prefers the shelter of a hole
它是一只喜欢住在洞里羽翼丰满的鸟
He has a stubby beak
他有一个粗短的喙
and a nervous soul
和一颗紧张的心
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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