杰茜驾到（2011）

New Girl S01E16

Part 1 Nov. 20, 2020, 12:20 p.m.

Here? You're dropping me off here?
这儿你就把我扔这儿
R-Right in front of this obvious pickpocket?
这哥们儿明显是个扒手啊
Look at the size of that guy.
你看他那个块头
He's clearly new homeless.
他明显刚加入盲流大军
We're a mile away from the loft, Cece.
离公♥寓♥还有一英里呢希希
I'm not getting caught with you.
我可不想被别人抓奸
I'm gonna have to run all the way home.
我还得一路跑回去
And I have my slippiest loafers on.
而且我这双鞋打滑
If I were you, I would get walking right now.
换做我的话绝不会在这里磨叽
You're never gonna get home before dawn.
要不天亮之前都到不了
Okay, look, I'm fine with you not telling anybody about us,
好吧你不公开我们的关系也就罢了
but you cannot just call me at anytime
可是我也不是召之即来
and just summon me for intercourse.
挥之即去的炮♥友♥
I have no control here,
我一点自主♥权♥都没有
and I'm stressed out all day long.
太缺乏安全感了
It's like you're ripping the side block out of my mental Jenga.
就跟玩千层塔一样你一块一块儿地拆
I'm totally falling apart.
拆的我稀里哗啦的
Okay, Schmidt, you...
好吧施密特你
you really need to learn to take a breath
你得好好深呼吸口气
and calm down, all right?
冷静下来好吗
We're just being a little spontaneous.
我们只是随性了点
Words that have never been used to describe Schmidt:
施密特的角色设定里可没这一条
"Spontaneous, flexible, easy-going."
"随性灵活好说话"
I'm like a Marine. You're nothing like a Marine.
我可是军人的性格才不是呢
I'm totally like a Marine, all right? You know what?
我就是这性格咋地
Fine. I'm... I'm out of here.
好吧我走了
Take these,
拿好了
and take care of them-- I can get a tetanus shot,
保管好我能打破伤风
but I can't cure damaged suede.
我可修不了皮革
Can you believe i found this on the street?
你相信这玩意儿是捡来的吗
Who would want to throw this away?
谁这么暴殄天物啊
A blind man who suddenly recovered his sight?
一个突然复明的盲人
Get rid of it, Jess--
扔了吧杰茜
pine has no place in this loft.
这玩意和这里风格不符
It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.
这玩意儿只配个穷光蛋修厕所用
I pay rent,
我也交了房♥租
so I think that gives me the right to add a few things.
我有权添置点儿东西
Jess...
杰茜
you're wrong.
你错了
Okay?
好吗
My answer's no.
我不同意
Well, my answer is yes.
但我同意
I'm keeping the hutch. I had a bad night.
我要留下这柜子我昨晚过的很糟糕
I'm really, I'm just asking you, please d-don't push me.
真的所以拜托你别惹我
'Cause then I'll have to reinstate my ban on high-waisted shorts.
不然我就恢复不许穿高腰短裤的禁令
You would not dare. Try me.
你敢试试啊
That was the worst four weeks of my life.
那是我人生中最悲惨的一个月
Hey, Winston,
温斯顿
why are you still drinking?
你怎么还在喝酒
It's 10:00 in the morning, man.
现在都早上十点了兄弟
Yeah, I know what it'll feel like when I stop,
是啊清醒的感觉真不咋样
so I'm just gonna stay a little drunk, forever.
我就这么一直醉醺醺的挺好
Well, why is there no girl version of you, my man?
如果你是个妞就好了
Moving on.
继续吧
So, last night's poker game.
昨晚的扑克比赛
Got pretty intense.
挺激烈哈
I don't even know what you're talking about-
我都不知道你在说什么
I was so hammered last night.
我喝的太高了
I've never been more sober in my whole life.
这是我人生中最清醒的时候
I'll remember this as long as I live.
我会永生铭记此刻
I'm all in. Uno, bitches.
我全压贱♥人♥们
Read 'em and weep.
好好看着然后哭去吧
Straight flush.
同花顺
So, what do I owe you, 20 bucks?
所以我欠你多少 20块吗
20 bucks? Yeah.
20块是啊
You owe me $487.
你欠我487块好么亲
Come on, Winston!
我去温斯顿
Aah! Schmidt makes me so mad!
施密特快把我气疯了
I want to put one thing, one thing in the living room,
我想把一样东西就一样放客厅里
and he won't let me.
他都不让
I'm not putting up with this.
我受不了了
Oh, yes, you are.
你就得忍♥着
We live in a fragile ecosystem.
咱生存在一个脆弱的生态系统中
It's a delicate balance.
保持着十分微妙易碎的平衡
It's a broken ecosystem,
这个生态系统完全失衡了
dominated by an apex predator.
被这个掠食者控制了
Chill out, Jess.
冷静点杰茜
We let him run the house, no big deal.
他控制就控制吧没啥大不了的
The boy cooks and cleans--
那家伙烧菜做饭打扫卫生
and happily, I might add.
还屁颠屁颠的
Yeah, he probably couldn't sleep last night
是啊他为能替我们打扫干净
'cause he was so excited to clean up after us.
激动得整夜睡不着觉
I know he's been bad lately, but...
我知道他最近不太友善但是
Schmidt's an odd bird.
施密特就是个怪咖
He can't handle it when things aren't clean and orderly.
他就是接受不了脏乱无序的东西
It's been that way since the day he moved in.
从他搬进来那天就这样了
Welcome to your new home, Schmidt.
欢迎来到新家施密特
Come on, play ball.
来啊一起玩球
Coming home!
回家了
Well, I'm fed up with it.
我受够了
And he's got to learn how to relax.
他得学着放松点
And, Nick, why do you have...
还有尼克你后背上
cannons drawn all over your back?
画门大炮干啥
Those aren't cannons, Jess.
那不是大炮杰茜
Long-stem mushrooms?
一只长蘑菇吗
Nope. Oh, so that's...
不是所以这
not a mossy cave.
也不是长着苔藓的小洞了
Mmm, no. Probably not.
肯定不是啊
What the...?
搞什么...
What is happening...?
发生啥了
I can't take this right now.
我现在可没法容忍♥这个
What, do we live in a pawnshop?
我们住的地方是个当铺吗
Hey, Schmidt.
施密特
Hey, Jess. What, uh...
杰茜这是怎...
Where did all this come from?
你从哪弄来这些东西的
I found the Afghan underneath a Dumpster outside an animal shelter.
沙发上的挂毯是从废弃的动物收♥容♥所♥捡来的
And I found the lamp underneath the afghan.
台灯是在挂毯下面发现的
I'm gonna assume that these are your spices
我猜你把你的调料
jammed in here with my spices. Yep.
和我的放一起了是吧
I would really appreciate it if your non-Tahitian vanilla
我希望你的杂牌山寨香草
was not touching my Tahitian vanilla.
别碰我的塔希提岛原产香草
Oh, Schmidt, they're more than touching.
施密特啊他们之间可不只是碰碰哟
What's it like living in the most populous isle
生活在法属波西尼亚人口最多的岛上
in French Polynesia?
是啥感觉呀
I could tell you, or... I could show you.
我可以告诉你或者亲自带你看哟
Not in front of the cloves.
别让丁香听到嘛
Where's my Burr coffee grinder?
我的毛刺咖啡研磨机呢
Oh, you know, I think it's in the hutch.
那个好像是在储物柜里吧
You put it in the hutch?
你把它放那柜子里了
The... aah, this thing was on the street.
这玩意是街上没人要的垃圾啊
It's a coffee grinder, Schmidt.
就是个咖啡机嘛施密特
I think it'll be okay.
放那儿不会咋样的
A top-of-the-line conical burr coffee grinder.
那可是顶级毛刺咖啡研磨机
You know what that means? It means it doesn't
你知道这是啥意思吗意思是它不会
smash up the beans like some pedestrian blade grinder.
像一些普通刀片咖啡机那样把咖啡豆挤碎
It actually grinds them,
而是把咖啡豆完全磨碎
for a deeper, richer,
这样味道便会更深邃
more satisfying flavor profile!
更悠长更令人回味了
Oh. Well, I've used it repeatedly to make homemade crayons.
可是我还用它自♥制♥蜡笔来着
Does that show up in your flavor profile, Schmidt?
那这些蜡笔也合你口味吗施密特