极品老妈

Mom S01E19

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 1:29 p.m.

妈
Mom.
根据真实故事改编
Based on a true story.
也许我会留下来
Maybe I will stay,
拥有一些祖孙乐时光
grab a little quality time.
很好罗斯科这是外公
Great. Roscoe, Grandpa.
外公这是罗斯科
Grandpa, Roscoe.
再见
See ya.
你们去哪里
Where you headed?
信不信由你我要送某人去监狱
Believe it or not, I'm taking somebody to prison.
这样啊会想你的邦妮
Oh, wow. Gonna miss you, Bonnie.
你对他这么好让我想发疯
It makes me crazy that you're so nice to him.
我知道额外的好处
I know. Added bonus.
你应该知道他不是来这里办公事的
You do know that he wasn't in the neighborhood on business.
我知道
I know.
你父亲是个骗子
And it doesn't bother you
这事并不让你心烦
that your father's a liar?
我母亲在卡尔加里[加拿大]开过青楼
My mother managed a whorehouse in Calgary.
想让我心烦还得要点本事
It takes a lot to bother me.
我明白你对他的感觉但是
I understand how you feel about him, but
我希望能拥有父女情
I want to have my own experience with my father.
我不想剥夺你这个权利
And I don't want to take that away from you.
谢谢
Thank you.
但他对我做的事是不可原谅的
What he did to me was unforgiveable,
但显然这不是你的问题
but that's certainly not your problem.
你看到她的做法了吗
Do you see what she does?
别把我扯进来
Don't drag me into this.
但我看到了
But I see it.
我们一致同意把咱们的分歧放一边
Can we just agree to put our issues aside
今天专注于雷吉娜好吗
and make this day about Regina?
对咱们轻松些开心些
Yeah, let's keep things light and happy.
去监狱的路上就该这样啊
Like a trip to prison should be.
她在那里
There she is.
死囚上路
Dead man walkin'!
95年的著名电影
怎么啦不是说好要轻松些吗
What?! I'm keeping it light!
三明治怎么样
How's the sandwich?
很好
Good.
你知道吗三明治这个名字
Did you know that sandwiches were named after a guy
是以三明治伯爵这个人命名的[1718-1792]
called the Earl of Sandwich?
真的吗你认识他吗
Really? Do you know him?
不他死了很久了
No, he died a long time ago.
真令人失望
That's depressing.
对但他活在你的嘴里
Yeah, but he lives on in your mouth.
你是我妈妈的爸爸
So you're my mom's dad.
是的
I am.
-是我外公 -对
- And my grandpa. - Yep.
那我为什么现在才见到你
How come I'm just meeting you now?
这个嘛
Well, uh...
不太容易说出口
no easy way to say it.
我做了件大错事
I messed up real bad
你妈妈长大的过程中我没陪着她
and wasn't around when your mom was growing up.
我很也抱歉没有陪在你身边
And I'm really sorry that I wasn't around
看你成长
to watch you grow up.
你没错过多少
You didn't miss much.
距离乔奇拉 120英里
"Chowchilla, 120 miles."
你不用一直报出还剩多少英里
You don't have to keep calling out the miles!
哇冲我大发雷霆啊
Wow, bite my head off.
对不起
Sorry.
你们想过重新喝酒的理由吗
You guys ever think about reasons to start drinking again?
比如说电影《僵尸启示录》成真吗
You mean like a zombie apocalypse?
-你开玩笑吧 -没有
- You're kidding. - Nope.
我有整张重新喝酒的理由清单
Got a whole list of things to drink over:
僵尸启示录我的孩子被吉普赛人偷了
zombie apocalypse, my kids are stolen by gypsies,
我中风了忘了如何手♥淫♥
I have a stroke and forget how to masturbate.
如果我发生了什么可怕的事呢
What if something horrible happened to me?
我会挺过去的
I'd get through it.
你不会计划
You're not planning on drinking
坐牢时喝酒吧
while you're in prison, are you?
不我打算等到不幸的事降临在我身上时
No, I'm gonna wait until something bad happens to me.
记住里面会举办不少互助会
Just remember, they hold lots of meetings in there.
但你必须得主动去参加
You just have to make it your business to go.
对互助会是个和白人至上团体的女性
Yeah, and meetings might be a good place to make friends
交朋友的好地方真是美丽的邂逅啊
with the Aryan Nation chicks. Talk about a meet-cute.
在监狱里怎么能喝到酒呢
How would you drink in jail, anyway?
很简单马桶红酒
Oh, that's easy. Toilet wine.
什么是马桶红酒
What's toilet wine?
橙子葡萄干番茄酱糖
Oranges, raisins, ketchup, sugar,
再加一只塞满发霉面包的袜子
and a sock filled with moldy bread,
浸泡在马桶中一周
all marinating in a toilet for a week.
反正能酿出酒
Well, it gets the job done
有多的还可以换烟
and you can trade your surplus for cigarettes.
我真希望那时候能认识你
I wish I knew you back in the day.
我不觉得
I don't think so.
你肯定是我的小蹄子
You would've been my bitch.
我对我的小蹄子可一点也不手软
And I work my bitches hard.
看
Hey, look!
猫头鹰和河豚鱼乐队在丘玛什赌场
Hootie and the Blowfish are at the Chumash Casino!
三明治怎么样
How's the sandwich?
好吃
Good.
你知道吗三明治这个名字
You know that, uh, sandwiches are named after
是以三明治伯爵命名的
the Earl of Sandwich?
太棒了
That's terrific.
你是什么情况啊
So, what's your deal?
-我的情况 -你不会觉得
- My deal? - You don't really think
你不知道从哪里冒出来
you're gonna show up out of nowhere
就突然当了我外公吧
and suddenly play grandpa.
当然不是
No, of course not.
但我希望我会慢慢了解你
But I am hoping, in time, to get to know you
也许成为你可以依赖的人
and maybe be somebody you can count on.
要怎么做到呢
And how exactly would that work?
宝宝出生后
Well, after the baby's born,
我可以换尿布照看宝宝听你差遣
I can change a diaper, babysit, whatever you need.
我不需要那些
I won't need any of that.
你现在这样说
Yeah, you say that now,
但那些事很难做的
but it does take a village.
我妈没告诉你吗
My mom didn't tell you?
我要把孩子送去收养
I'm giving the baby up for adoption.
真的吗
Really?
是的
Really.
你确定想这样做吗
Sure you want to do that?
那是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
我只是说你仔细思考了吗
I just mean, have you thought it through?
没有我就打算像你抛弃我妈一样抛弃它
No, I'm just gonna abandon it like you did my mother.
我知道你这是讽刺
I know you're being sarcastic,
但那正是我问的原因
but that's exactly why I'm asking.
没陪着你妈妈
Not being there for your mother
-是我最大的遗憾 -是吗
- is my biggest regret. - Yeah?
我不会有遗憾
Well, I won't have any regrets,
因为我这是在保证
because I'm making sure
我的孩子过上幸福的生活
that my baby has a great life.
我不是说
I... I'm not saying that...
不你没权利说什么
No, you don't get to say anything.
好吧听着对不起
All right, listen, I'm sorry...
省省吧我是回来拿三明治的
Save it. I'm just coming back for my sandwich.
比她外婆还嘴毒
Even meaner than her grandmother.
你知道去监狱最糟糕的一件事是什么吗
You know what the worst thing about going to prison is?
你在监狱里吗
You're in prison?
不是
No.
我没法陪着我的儿子成长
I'm gonna miss seeing my little boy grow up.
那我现在闭嘴了
I'll stop talking now.
你难道还管得住这张嘴