极品老妈

Mom S01E17

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 1:29 p.m.

你在做什么
What are you doing?
给纸杯蛋糕上糖霜
Frosting cupcakes.
什么日子啊
What's the occasion?
"你答应做点心妈妈却忘记日"
It's You Signed Up to be Snack Mom and Forgot Day.
不行健忘的妈妈没点心吃
Nope, forgetful mothers do not get snacks.
知道吗
You know...
纸杯蛋糕可不是健康的选择
cupcakes aren't a very healthy choice.
我替你收拾残局时批评我也不明智
Neither is criticizing me for doing your freakin' job.
不如我来做完吧
Why don't I just finish that up for you?
好吧
Fine.
劳累的一晚对吧
So, a long night, huh?
太残酷了
Ugh, brutal.
我在郑重考虑回学校读书
I'm really thinking about going back to school.
我不能做一辈子的服务员
I cannot wait tables my entire life.
-好样的 -是啊
- Good for you. - Yeah,
我已经厌倦了一天十小时站着
I'm tired of spending ten hours a day on my feet.
你确定不是躺着吗
You sure you don't mean on your back?
什么
What?
加布里埃尔打电♥话♥说很遗憾你没去上班
Gabriel called to say he's sorry you missed work
希望你好些了
and hopes you're feeling better.
你对回学校读书有什么想法
So what are you thinking about studying in school?
好吧
All right, fine.
我没去上班和大卫在一起
I blew off work and spent the night with David.
那你为什么说谎
But why lie about it?
因为我是个撒谎精
'Cause I'm kind of a liar.
你昨天没去女儿的无痛分娩课
Is that where you were when you missed
也是和大卫在一起吗
your daughter's Lamaze class yesterday?
不是昨天吗
Oh, no, was that yesterday?
别担心我替你摆平了
Don't worry, covered for you.
20个女人一起这样
20 women going...
整整一小时
...for a freakin' hour.
听起来像是日本A片
It sounded like Japanese porn.
你是最棒的外婆
You are the best grandmother.
对那是因为你是最差劲的母亲
Yeah, only because you're the worst mother.
我不会对你的人生指手画脚
Look, I am not gonna tell you how to live your life,
但你这样错了
but you're screwing up.
你和这男的在一起应付不来
You are in over your head with this guy,
你得趁早脱身
you need to snap out of it.
你不是说不会对我的人生指手画脚吗
I thought you weren't gonna tell me how to live my life?
这房♥间里不只有你一个撒谎精
You're not the only liar in this room.
我告诉你
It just so happens that
他今晚对我说爱我
that guy told me he loves me tonight.
好嘛爱
Oh, well, love.
这样一切都不同了
That changes everything.
你值得拥有一个纸杯蛋糕
You deserve a cupcake.
味道不差
Not bad.
我不能保证什么
Oh, I can't promise anything,
但我会尽力
but I'll try.
是我也想你
Yeah, I miss you, too.
你声音好多了
Hey, you sound a lot better.
病情反反复复的
It comes and goes.
真高兴你回来了
Well, I'm glad you're back.
请洗手
Please wash your hands.
要勤洗
A lot.
保罗鲁迪还在兼♥职♥卖♥♥大♥麻♥吗
Hey, Paul, is Rudy still selling weed on the side?
是的
Oh, uh, yes.
没看到你啊
Oh, hey, didn't see you there.
来我办公室
Step into my office.
你在冷冻室里做生意吗
You do it in the freezer?
很冷的人不会砍价
Cold people don't haggle.
想听下特别推荐吗
So, would you like to hear the specials?
好的
Okay.
今晚我们有本地♥产♥的顶级大♥麻♥
Tonight we have a locally produced Sonoma Kush
与1978年爽口安♥眠♥酮♥简直是绝配
which pairs very well with a lovely 1978 Quaalude.
不只要大♥麻♥
No, just the Kush.
明智的选择要多少半公斤吗
Good choice. So what are we thinking, half a kilo?
不要几根的量
No, just a couple of joints.
你这是耍我吗
Are you kidding me?
我的蛋都快冻掉了就为了几根的量
I'm freezing my balls off for a couple of joints?
小买♥♥卖♥♥是保罗负责的
Look, paul handles the nickel-and-dime crap.
等等
W-Wait, wait, uh,
这事你会替我保密对吗
this stays just between you and me, right?
当然了我会保护你的名誉
Absolutely. I will protect your reputation.
你看什么看
Oh, what are you looking at?
对我上了那个小金发妞
Yes, I'm banging the little blonde.
我这是在做什么
What the hell am I doing?
-克丽丝蒂 -是你好谁
- Christy. - Yeah?! Hi! Who?!
雷吉娜
Oh, Regina.
你把我吓死了
You scared the crap out of me.
我要你帮忙不想在餐厅里打扰你
I need a favor and I didn't want to bother you in the restaurant.
所以你决定在停车场让我心脏病发
Oh, so you decided to give me a heart attack in the parking lot?
给拿着
Here, take this.
我坐牢时你替我保管
While I'm in prison, I want you to hold it for me.
里面是什么
What's in it?
我觉得和你没关系
I don't think that concerns you.
天啊这是不是你偷来的钱
Oh, my God, is this some of the money you stole?
不是我赚来的
No, that's money I earned.
但如果条子知道我有钱他们就会拿走的
But the Feds will take it if they know I have it.
你怎么赚到的
How'd you earn it?
卖♥♥玫琳凯化妆品
Selling Mary Kay cosmetics.
明天在法庭上你还能做我的
Now... are you still good for being my character witness
品德证人吗
in court tomorrow?
当然可以
Yeah, yeah, sure.
我该带上这盒偷来的钱去吗
Should I bring the box of stolen money with me?
不你可以把这盒钱和讽刺都放在家里
No. You can leave it and the sarcasm at home.
就...
Just...
告诉法官我扭转人生了
tell the judge how I've turned my life around
还有我是良好正直的市民就行
and that I'm a fine, upstanding citizen.
知道了
Got it.
谢谢
Thank you.
你真是个好朋友
You're a good friend.
明天见
See you tomorrow.
雷吉娜等等
Regina, wait.
如果我有真正的紧急情况
If I had a real emergency,
你觉得我可不可以
do you think I could...
挪用这笔钱啊
you know... dip into it?
什么叫"真正的紧急情况"
Define "Real emergency."
比如说我的孩子需要动手术
I don't know, my kid needs an operation...
因为他妈妈没有
'cause his mom doesn't have...
卫♥星♥电♥视♥
satellite TV.
明天帮我睁大眼扮无辜
Just give me the big eyes tomorrow,
我就给你订HBO电视台
I'll get you HBO.
克丽丝蒂
Hello, Christy.
不不不不不不不不不
Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no...
快回来
Get back here!
我可没时间来接受教育
I don't have time for an intervention!
滚回来
Get!
我回来只是因为这是我家
I'm only coming back 'cause it's my house.
坐
Sit.
你来这里干什么
What are you doing here?
我很关心你
I'm concerned about you.
我很关心你
I'm concerned about you.
开始之前
Before we begin...
你要知道我们爱你我们只是想
it's important you know we love you and we just want
-和你谈谈 -我真是气死了
- to talk to you about... - I am so pissed at you!
显然维奥莉特要先说
Apparently, Violet is going first.
我多年来都尽心尽力保证你吃饱喝足
I spent too many years making sure you ate,
带你上♥床♥睡觉帮你清理呕吐物
putting you to bed, and cleaning vomit off of you.
我可不要再经历一次了
I am not going through it again.
你知道自己怀着孩子吧
You do realize you're having a baby, right?