极品老妈

Mom S01E05

Part 3 Jan. 4, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

真的吗因为我觉得我可能会崩溃
Really? 'Cause I think I might snap
然后趁你和你妈睡觉时杀了你们
and kill you and your mother in your sleep.
你还真是不失幽默啊
Well, you haven't lost your sense of humor.
我可没有幽默感
I don't have a sense of humor.
好吧
Okay.
我得睁着一只眼睛睡觉了
Sleeping with one eye open.
安安
Night-night.
安安
Night-night.
我睡这边的
That's my side.
我是客人
I'm a guest.
我不管过去
I don't care. Move over.
那个惨女人怎么样了
How's the train wreck?
我不知道
I don't know.
-重点是我们在行善 -是啊
- The point is, we're doing a good deed. - Yeah.
假设她不会崩溃然后趁我们睡觉杀了我们
Assuming she doesn't melt down and try to kill us in our sleep.
你为什么要那样说
Why would you say that?
我开玩笑啊
I was kidding.
好吧
Okay.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
如果我们是室友
You know, if we were roomies,
那我们每晚都可以这样了
we could do this every night.
当然啦如果我搬进来的话会想...
Of course, if I moved in, I'd want to...
把这地方装饰一下
zhush up the place a little.
这里有什么不好了
What's wrong with it?
这里缺乏装饰
Eh, it lacks zhush.
装饰稀缺
It's zhush-less.
我觉得很舒适
Well, I think it's homey.
你还觉得能追上一个穿着运动裤的男人呢
Yeah, you also think you can catch a man with sweatpants.
克丽丝蒂
Christy?
进来吧
Come on in.
不好意思打扰了
Sorry to bother you.
没关系出什么事了
Oh, no worries. What's up?
不告诉别人到底发生了什么事
I'm not gonna be able to sleep until I tell somebody
我睡不着
what's really going on.
好吧
Okay.
我看过一部拉拉黄♥片♥
I saw a lezbo porn movie
开头就是这样
start just like this.
我的问题比我说出来的大许多
I kind of got bigger problems than I let on.
财政问题
Financial problems.
没什么好丢人的
Oh, no shame in that.
我的车坏了我没钱去修
My car just broke down, I can't afford to fix it
而我的信♥用♥卡♥债多到你没法想象
and I have credit card debt like you wouldn't believe.
真的吗多少
Really? How much?
一万
Nineteen...
九千块
thousand... dollars.
你真可爱
You are so cute.
想想三百五十万吧
Try $3.5 million.
什么
What?
我跟你说过
You know how I told you
人们信任地把钱交给我管理吧
people trust me with their money?
记得
Yeah.
他们不该如此
They shouldn't.
我挪用了客户的钱
I embezzled from my clients.
为什么
Why?
那是什么狗屁问题
What kind of question is that?
-那要问什么啊 -怎么做到的
- What's the better question? - How?
你得精通数学同时长着一张大家信任的脸
You got to be good at math and have a face people trust.
梦想破灭了
And the dream dies.
总之
Anyway...
今晚我来这里的真正原因是
the real reason I came here tonight was...
我觉得警♥察♥可能在我家等我
I think the police might be waiting for me at my house.
会没事的
It's all gonna be okay.
你怎么这样说
How can you say that?
不是说给你听的我是
Oh, not for you. I was...
自言自语
kind of saying it to myself.
什么
What?
我还以为自己深陷麻烦
I thought I was in trouble,
但听了你的故事
but, listening to you,
我发现我的问题很棒
I realized I have great problems.
我爱它们我爱我的问题
I love them! I love my problems!
你说完了吗
You done?
是的对不起今晚的主角是你
Yeah. I'm sorry. Tonight's about you.
我只是激动了你继续吧
I just got excited. Go on.
我不知道要怎么办才好
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
不管要面对的是什么
Well, whatever it is,
你都不必一个人承受
you don't have to go through it alone.
谢谢你
Thank you.
雷吉娜等等
Regina, wait.
来吧
Come on.
睡这里
Snuggle in.
好吧
Maybe I will.
[模仿黄♥片♥音乐]
Bow chicka wow wow.
妈沙发上怎么...
Mom, why is the couch all ma...
-妈 -啥事
- Mom. - What?
雷吉娜走了
Regina's gone.
好吧
Okay.
-醒醒 -啥事啊
- Wake up. - What?
-我们得去找她 -看在老天的份上
- We got to go find her. - Oh, for God's sake.
我们帮的还不够多吗
Haven't we helped enough?
她没开车我们还能追上[抓住]她
She doesn't have her car. We can still catch her.
好吧
All right.
你觉得抓住她会有赏金吗
Hey, you suppose there's a reward for her capture?
-你真的会把她交给警♥察♥吗 -亲爱的
- You'd really turn her in? - Oh, honey,
如果赏金数额够大我会把你也交给警♥察♥
if there was a big enough reward, I'd turn you in.
你觉得那是她吗
Do you think that's her?
我觉得那是不是她
Do I think that's her?
克丽丝蒂
Hey, Christy.
你去哪里
Where you headed?
加拿大
Canada.
得在那边过上新生活
Gonna build a whole new life there.
在加拿大可以被引渡回来
You know, you can be extradited from Canada.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
很确定
Oh, I'm positive.
那好吧
Okay, then.
去墨西哥
Mexico.
我告诉你吧如果我偷了那么多钱
I'll tell you what, if I stole that kind of money,
我绝对会保证我有个
I'd make damn sure I had a getaway plan
不包括三轮车的逃跑计划
that didn't involve a tricycle.
你说得对我该秀出大胸
You're right. I should've just whipped out my boobs
然后偷一辆割草机
and grabbed a lawn mower.
冷静女士们你俩都不好惹
Calm down, ladies, you're both gangsters.
太阳出来了
Hey, the sun's coming out.
谢谢你安妮
Thank you, Annie.
[音乐剧《安妮》中的台词]
太棒了
How about that.
这是我十六七年里头一回
First time I've gone the whole night without a drink
整晚都没喝酒
in, like, 16, 17 years.
该死我的确是个酒瘾者
Oh, damn, I am an alcoholic.
高兴点监狱里有许多聚会
Cheer up. There's lots of meetings in prison.
我真的不喜欢你
I really don't like you.
没关系我够喜欢我自己把你的那份也带上了
That's okay. I like myself enough for the both of us.
你需要钱吗克丽丝蒂
You need some money, Christy?
要啊怎么
Yeah, why?
我还藏了一些钱
I still have some stashed away,
反正也是便宜了条子
and the Feds are just gonna take it.
让我帮帮你吧
Let me help you out.
真的吗
Really?
快答应
Do it.
天啊我不确定
Gee, I-I don't know.
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