极品老妈

Mom S01E06

Part 3 Jan. 4, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

Hey, I don't think anybody's home.
在这等着
Wait here.
你去哪里
Where are you going?
等着就好
Just wait!
进来吧
Come on in!
我觉得非法闯入不大好
I'm not really comfortable with breaking and entering.
你只"入"了啊
For you, it's just entering.
的确如此
It's a good point.
你在诱导我走上犯罪道路
You're luring me into a life of crime here.
别担心
Oh, don't worry.
如果主人回来了我们干掉他们就行
If the owners come back, we'll just kill 'em.
你知道怎么生火吗
You know how to make a fire?
我知道怎么生火吗
Do I know how to make a fire?
但你得承认
You gotta admit, though,
森林里的小屋雨夜
cabin in the woods, rainy night.
挺浪漫的
It's kind of romantic.
是啊
Yes, yes, it is.
失陪一下
Excuse me.
玛乔丽
Hi, Marjorie?
我是克丽丝蒂
It's Christy.
听我说
So, listen,
我觉得上帝想让我上♥床♥
I think God wants me to get laid.
真可惜我们没有棉花糖
It's too bad we don't have any marshmallows.
有啊
Oh, but we do.
真的吗
Really?
是的一个好的童子军不带糖果包
That's right. A good Scout never leaves home
绝不出门
without a s'mores kit.
-你想... -不用等会儿吧
- Do you want...? - Uh, no, maybe later.
这里真的很舒适
Uh! It is really comfy here.
是啊
Yeah, yeah.
你生我的气了吗
Are you mad at me?
我为什么要生你的气
Why would I be mad at you?
我不知道因为我们没利用
I don't know. 'Cause we're not taking advantage
这份舒适
of the comfy-ness.
那是个选择吗
Is that an option?
不不是我检查过了
No, it's not. I checked.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
还好只是这不是我的
Yeah, yeah, it's just not how
行事风格
I usually do things.
什么意思
What does that mean?
过去我会马上和男人上♥床♥
Well, in the past, I would jump into bed
因为我害怕如果我不那样做
with a guy right away 'cause I was afraid
他就会离开我
if I didn't, he'd... leave.
为什么会有人离开你呢
Why the heck would anyone leave you?
你这么好
You're-you're wonderful.
我不觉得
I didn't think so.
真奇怪我从没离开过我睡过的人
It's weird. I've never left anyone I've slept with.
什么意思
What's this now?
我总觉得有女人愿意
I always thought it was such a miracle
和我做♥爱♥是个奇迹
that a woman would have sex with me,
我起码该做的就是和她白头偕老
the least I could do was give her the rest of my life.
你没跟她们说过吧
You didn't actually say that to them?
这种错误你只能犯一次
That's a mistake you only make once.
除非你是我
Unless you're me,
然后你就一错再错
and then you do it every time.
也许我们慢慢来很好
Yeah, you know, maybe it's good that we're waiting.
是啊也许吧
Yeah, maybe.
这样挺好的
This is nice.
当然
Sure is.
谢谢你
Thank you for...
这么理解
being so understanding.
不客气
You're welcome.
我真是个幸运的姑娘
I'm a lucky girl.
非常幸运
Yep, very lucky.
如果你好奇的话我可以给你看哦
If you're curious, I can just show it to you.
我只是说我有次撞见我爸妈做♥爱♥
I'm just saying, I walked in on my parents
然后我吓坏了
having sex once and it freaked me out.
这完全不是一回事
This is not the same thing at all.
不这样更糟
No, it's worse.
我们的宝宝没法尖叫着跑出房♥间
Our kid can't run out of the room screaming.
妈妈告诉卢克他不会伤着宝宝
Mom, tell Luke that he can't hurt the baby.
如果我说了他就会和你做♥爱♥
Well, if I do that, he'll have sex with you.
坚持立场小伙
Stick to your guns, buddy.
我觉得自己是个傻♥逼♥
I feel like such an idiot!
亲爱的会没事的
Oh, honey, it's gonna be okay.
有事他不会再打电♥话♥来了
No, it's not. He's never gonna call.
才过一周啦
Oh, it's only been a week.
醒醒吧如果男人三天后还没打电♥话♥
Oh, wake up. If a man hasn't called after three days,
他可能死了
he might as well be dead.
这都是你的错
This is all your fault.
我做了什么
What did I do?
你告诉她别和他上♥床♥
You told her not to sleep with him,
所以他就走了[远足]
and he took a hike.
啊远足
Oh, hiking.
看见了吗
You see that?
她接受了你的建议而不是我的
She took your advice, not mine,
现在她伤心欲绝我赢了
and now she's devastated. I win.
亲爱的你没和他睡觉是好事
Honey, it's good thing you didn't sleep with him.
他是个混♥蛋♥
He's a jerk.
那更是个坏主意了
More bad advice.
如果她和他睡了她现在就拥有混♥蛋♥了
If she'd slept with him, she'd own the jerk by now.
你想那样吗
And is that what you'd want?
她还有什么选择
What's her other option?
我不知道比如说遇见一个好男人
I don't know, maybe meet a nice guy.
那她出轨时她就是混♥蛋♥了啊
Oh, so when she cheats on him, she's the jerk?
动动脑子玛乔丽
Think it through, Marjorie.
我打算无视你因为你疯了
I'm gonna ignore you because you're insane.
克丽丝蒂
Christy,
如果一个男人不肯等你准备好
if a man won't wait until you're ready
分享"秘密花♥园♥"
to share your secret garden,
他不配你付出一秒时间
he's not worth a second of your time.
"秘密花♥园♥"
Secret garden?
天啊你养了几只猫
Holy Moses, how many cats do you own?
四只
Four.
"当然啦克丽丝蒂
"Oh sure, Christy,
我同意慢慢来反正我也不会打电♥话♥给你了"
I'm fine going slow 'cause I'm never gonna call you anyway."
去死吧童子军团长
Screw you, Scoutmaster!
我再也不想见到你那张蠢脸了
I never want to see your stupid face again!
-我再也不想见到你这张蠢脸了 -什么
- I never want to see your stupid face again! - What?
如果我早知道你是个混♥蛋♥
If I'd known you were such a jerk,
我会和你在小屋里翻云覆雨
I would've had sex with you all over that cabin!
再问一次什么
Once again, what?
但我向你敞开了心扉
Instead, I opened myself up to you,
我太脆弱了我告诉了你
I was totally vulnerable, and I told you things
从没告诉过别人的事
that I never told anybody else!
而你做了什么你甩了我
And what do you do? You blow me off!
等等我没甩了你
Wait, hold on. I didn't blow you off.
是你甩了我
You blew me off.
不不不是你甩的
No, no, no, no! You were the one
甩人这事是你干的
who did the blowing-- the blowing was done by you!
克丽丝蒂你收到花了吗
Christy, did you ever get the flowers?
什么花
What flowers?
我俩远足的第二天
The ones I dropped off at the restaurant
我把花送到了你们餐厅
the day after we went hiking.
你给我送了花吗
You sent me flowers?
还是玫瑰呢
Roses.
还有一张小卡片写着
With a note saying,
"我远足[音似喜欢]你"
"I hike you."
我没收到你的回音
And when I didn't hear back from you,
就觉得你不喜欢我
I figured you just weren't into me.
我没收到