极品老妈

Mom S01E14

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 1:28 p.m.

You remember your Aunt Jeanine?
记得
Yeah.
她不是你的姨妈
She wasn't really your aunt.
她以前和我就是...
She and I were, you know...
我的天
Oh, my god.
你是女同志吗
You were gay?
不算女同只能说暂时厌倦了男人
Not gay so much as temporarily disgusted with men.
不敢相信
I don't believe it.
珍宁姨妈以前会带我去公园
Aunt Jeanine used to take me to the park
教我射篮打垒球
and teach me how to shoot hoops and hit a softball.
到你了
Your turn.
好吧
All right, wow.
我还想着先热身没想到你一上来就爆猛料[埋下头]
I thought we'd warm up, but you just dove in head first.
她也是这么说的
That's what she said.
好吧
Okay.
想到一个
I got one.
记得你车上被偷走的一公斤大♥麻♥吗
Remember that kilo of hash that was stolen from your car?
记得
Yeah.
史上最棒的低年级毕业舞会
Best junior prom ever.
你开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?
因为这事我差点在沙漠里被人宰了
I was almost killed in the desert because of that.
坦白无罪
Amnesty.
有枪指着我的头
There was a gun to my head.
他们逼我挖自己的坟
They made me dig my own grave.
太糟糕了
Ooh, that's too bad.
我被选为舞会皇后
I was voted queen of the prom.
到你了
You're up.
好吧有件大事
Okay, here's a biggie.
算了我再想想
You know what? Never mind, let me think of something else.
不我想听这个什么事
No, I want that one. What's that?
好吧
Um, uh, all right, uh,
你九年级代数及格的唯一原因
The only reason you passed ninth-grade algebra
是因为我在家长会那晚帮你老师打飞机
is 'cause I gave your teacher a handy on parents' night.
想得美
Nice try.
第二天早上你就告诉我了
You told me that the next morning.
快说
Now give.
好吧
All right.
阿尔文·莱斯特·布兰克科夫
Alvin Lester Biletnikoff.
是谁
Who's that?
你父亲
Your father.
什么
What?
你一直说不知道是谁
You always said you didn't know who he was.
可能的人有一打
It could have been a dozen guys.
我说谎了我一直知道是阿尔文
I lied, I always knew it was Alvin.
我的天
Oh, my god.
整个人轻松了
Whew, that's a load off.
好了到你了
All right, your turn.
你在耍我吗
Are you freaking kidding me?!
我这辈子都想知道他是谁
I spent my whole life wondering who he was,
你却一直知道吗
and you knew the whole time?
冷静
Calm down!
我们说好了坦白无罪
We agreed on amnesty!
无罪去死你去死
Screw amnesty and screw you!
坦白无罪是什么
What's amnesty?
就是你想不起事情了
Uh, it's when you can't remember stuff.
卢克把amnesty听成amnesia[失忆症]了
照顾你弟弟
Watch your brother.
我们几小时后回来
We'll be back in a few hours.
出什么事了
What's going on?
没什么
Nothing,
我们要出去办点事
we have to run some errands.
非常好骗你女儿
Very nice, lie to your daughter.
你怎么找到他的
How'd you find him?
谷歌♥ 我用了卫星地图查的
Google-- I did the satellite map thing.
这个狗♥娘♥养♥的家里居然有泳池
The son of a bitch has a pool.
我本来可以有泳池吗
I could have had a pool?
是我本来可以有泳池
I could have had a pool.
他在奇科住了多久
How long has he lived in Chico?
-我又不关注他 -妈
- I don't keep tabs on him. - Mom.
17年
17 years.
已婚两个孩子两处房♥产
Married, two kids, two mortgages,
多亏了我他在山达基邪教的邮件列表中
And he's on the scientology mailing list, thanks to me.
听起来你和他还有未了结的恩怨情仇啊
Sounds like you have a little unfinished business with him.
是啊如果我了结了那我就得坐牢了
Yeah, if I finish it, I'll have to go to jail.
罗斯科该你去倒垃圾了
Roscoe, it's your turn to take out the garbage.
我回头去倒
I'll do it later.
暂停游戏现在去倒了
Pause the video game and do it now.
我没必要听你的
I don't have to listen to you.
你又不是我妈妈
You're not mom.
罗斯科
Roscoe.
放着我来
Let me.
你听到你姐姐的话了去倒垃圾
You heard your sister; take out the garbage.
你去倒
You take it out.
小子这样可不好
Whoa, little man, not cool.
你得放尊重点
You need to show some respect.
去死吧
Bite me.
好了去你房♥间
Okay, go to your room.
不去
No.
我说了去你房♥间
I said go to your room.
卢克别激动
Luke, relax.
不他得学会尊重长辈
No, he has to learn to respect his elders.
长辈
His elders?
五分钟前你还在用腋窝发出放屁的声音呢
Five minutes ago you were making armpit farts.
等等
Hang on.
去你房♥ 间
Go. To. Your. Room.
你是个大傻逼
You're. A. Big. Douche.
你想被打屁♥股♥吗
You want to get spanked?
你想你的蛋蛋被踢吗
You want to get kicked in the nuts?!
这霸气娃儿哪来的
Who is this kid?
他是做什么的
So, what's he do?
他开一家汽车修理厂
He owns a body shop.
真的吗他还有游泳池吗
Really, and he has a pool?
放松点那是在地面上的
Ah, relax, it's above ground.
想看看他的照片吗
Want to see a picture of him?
好
Yeah.
他是中国人吗
He's Chinese?
抱歉
Oh, sorry,
那只是我的一个"玩伴"
that's just a fella I, you know, keep company with.
好了
Okay.
这是他
Here he is.
这就是你♥爸♥爸
Here's your father.
那是什么鬼东西
What the hell was that?
你好像撞死了一只负鼠
Oh, think you killed a possum.
不他起来了
Nope, he's up.
先等等吧免得我
Okay, ha-hang on before I...
再开杀戒
kill again.
我和他长得一点也不像
I don't look anything like him.
他是混血人种
He's five-five.
老爸
Oh, daddy.
那小混♥蛋♥不吃东西吗
Is the little jerk not eating?
他不是混♥蛋♥ 他不肯从房♥里出来
He's not a jerk, and he won't come out of his room
因为他觉得你是个混♥蛋♥
because he thinks you're a jerk.
好吧那他不吃好了
Fine, then he doesn't eat.
也许该好好打他屁♥股♥一顿
Probably could use a good spanking, too.
你开玩笑吧
Are you kidding me?
你就想这样养大我们的孩子吗
Is that how you want to raise our kid?
屁♥股♥被打得够狠了
Hey, this ass got swatted plenty
才会变得更好
and it's a better ass for it.
那我们就有麻烦了
Well, then we have a problem.
我同意
I agree.
什么麻烦
What's the problem?